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How Being An Abdl Affects Your Relationships With Others.


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No doubt this will have been discussed hundreds of times before, but I'm new to the forum and couldn't see it being discussed so thought I'd start this thread.

How does being an ABDL affect your love life and relationships?

I'm 20, and have never really had a proper girlfriend. Not because I'm uncomfortable with women, I've got lots of really close female friends, but I've just never been able to properly start a relationship with someone I like. I'm not sure why this is really, I'm quite a confident person, I work in a busy pub so I talk to strangers all day for a living and if I don't say so myself, I think I'm relatively good looking... :rolleyes:

Going back to my female friends, their advice is always based around being an alpha-male "Stroll over and ask to buy her a drink" "Go over there and give her your number", which, for someone who enjoys wearing a nappy and being cuddled, isn't exactly in keeping with character.

The other classic advice they give is, "Be yourself!". Well, being myself hasn't exactly stood me in great stead so far has it? Being myself makes me friends, which is by no means a bad thing, but it doesn't mean I'm fending them off with a stick either :(

It's a double edged sword really - once girls get to know you, they think you're sweet, trustworthy...personality traits they often wish their boyfriend had, but they're just not interested sexually in you.

I think all the above stems from being an AB and wanting a deeper emotional connection with a person, rather than a relationship just based on sex, and its hard to establish such a connection when you're steaming drunk talking to a total stranger that you can barely hear over the music.

Anyway, I'd just be interested to hear what other people's experiences have been, and would gladly take any advice the forum has for me. Thanks for reading my emotional outpouring, I hope it made sense.

It's quite hard to summarise a lifetimes worth of sexual inadequacy in half a page ;)

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I wonder if Irish pickup lines would work for men like us who are too 'nice'. Girl says, you're a cute guy. You say: Why thank you miss, you are quite charming yourself. Are you busy this weekend? Because I would like some company and I would be pleased to lend you mine.

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It hasn't really effected me because I just seeked out men who were into this too. my first ex was okay with it even though he was not into it but he still changed me when I asked him too. Then my second ex was into this too but he was only a diaper lover and not a daddy and he wore because he needed to but he also liked it. It did get in the way of him meeting women because when he meet them online, all of them were grossed out by his medical condition and would not be interested in him anymore. But because I am child like and need a daddy like man, it did not make our relationship work. He felt like he was with a child even though it's natural part of me and nothing to do with AB/DL but he saw it as that and acted like I was retarded. I also wanted to be babied. But I found the right man for it. I just got lucky.

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First off, you're only 20. You're still very young. Most people your age are still in college or partying it up. The sad fact is many women your age do prefer the aggressive type because most of them are all about having fun, exploring who they are and have not yet discovered what they really want in a man. There are exceptions of course but the women in a bar are going to be attracted to that A-type personality. I met the girl who I married when I was 26 which is when many are done with partying and are actually looking for something more serious.

Basically what I am saying is be patient, be yourself, and realize that it's not because you're an AB, it's just that you're a nice guy and keep getting put in the friend zone.

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For me, I am a firm believe that sexual compatibility is a strong part of a relationship. Not the most important but it is important. And for me AB is sexual, and something i great enjoy engaging in, so I knew i wanted someone who would want to be my 'daddy' at times.

So, i put profiles on diapermates and other websites, stating what i was looking for, not just in terms of a 'daddy,' but in terms of a regular person as well.

I still went on dates and met people through other 'offline' avenues as well, and let me tell you some of the people i went on dates with were just WEIRD, and some of the --- the majority of the --- replies i got to my adds were just horrific. Clearly these men had not read my profile, and the best was when like every week i get the exact same, word for word, email from the same people... just mass emailing any female profile on the site.

But i eventually i got a reply from someone who seemed real, they had read my profile and their response showed this. So, we emailed, than chatted online, than met, and in all these interactions, diapers, ab, etc... was never mentioned... it didn't need to be because my profile and his profile pretty much covered this.

We have been together for 6 years now, and lived togetehr for 5 1/2.

When i was going out on dates with other people, i wasn't always thinking "ohh i wonder if they will be my daddy." if that is the only thing you are thinking about when you are trying to find someone, than you are never going to be able to relax, and just see where things go. You CANNOT let the fact that you enjoy abdl play rule your entire life, because its not your entire life... there is obviously more to you, you have a job, you have friends etc... etc...

Just relax, when you meet someone don't go into it looking for a relationship, don't go into it with any expectations, just meet people, ask em for lunch, for coffe, for a drink etc... and just get to know them... the thing is, its not just a man's job to 'make the move' the girl has to show she is interested in him as well.

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i dont think you should be worrying about the ab part, but rather concentrate on the relationship part. once you're in a trusted relationship your significant other will learn to accept you for who you are with time and if she can't accept you, than maybe she's not the right girl for you.

My gf didnt know about my DL part of me till after we were in a relationship and when i broke the news to her, it took time but in the end she said it is me who she is in love with not what i like to do.

And a good quote from alot of girls i know "Every girl wants a bad boy who's only good to them" That has always been very good advice on finding a girl and dating.

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After a stint in the USMC I was open about my diapers with my (at the time) girlfriend and old time female friend (but never girlfriend). I immediately broke up with my then girlfriend and became more involved with my female friend. A few years later we got married, and still are.

I also met my (still) best friend through DPF back when was still gaining popularity.

I'm glad to say diapers have helped my relationships, but only because the USMC game me confidence in who I am first.

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Basically what I am saying is be patient, be yourself, and realize that it's not because you're an AB, it's just that you're a nice guy and keep getting put in the friend zone.

Thanks man, I know what you're saying. Sometimes its just easy to lose sight of what your priorities should be when you see that the majority of your friends have had numerous girlfriends. Ah well, plenty of fish in the sea <_<

When i was going out on dates with other people, i wasn't always thinking "ohh i wonder if they will be my daddy." if that is the only thing you are thinking about when you are trying to find someone, than you are never going to be able to relax, and just see where things go. You CANNOT let the fact that you enjoy abdl play rule your entire life, because its not your entire life... there is obviously more to you, you have a job, you have friends etc... etc...

Just relax, when you meet someone don't go into it looking for a relationship, don't go into it with any expectations, just meet people, ask em for lunch, for coffe, for a drink etc... and just get to know them... the thing is, its not just a man's job to 'make the move' the girl has to show she is interested in him as well.

Good advice on not letting ABDL stuff rule the rest of your life. It's been said already but if somebody really loves you then this part of you is something they'd have to learn to accept - I am jealous of your ABDL based relationship though :P

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My experience has taught me that a woman wants an Alfa male 3/4 of the month and a sensitive fella 1/4 of the month. Or right around the time they are menstrating.

I got more chicks the stronger headed and Alfa I was then when I was the nice guy. Seemed the worse I treated them the more they came running?? Might be because the ones I was chasing had daddy issues, but who knows.

My wife likes my Alfa personality for the majority of the month and then for a week or so loves it when I'm sensitive and not so Alfa.

I've also never had my diapers ruin a relationship and I'm pretty open about them.

Your mileage may vary.

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My own weirdness (far beyond what most people have even seen :lol: ) puts me in a similar spot. I can't offer you a solution, only the way I handle this which may not work for you. I'll go so far as to admit it's not really a solution at all but here goes anyway!

I know what girls want. I know what I want. These are two totally different things for the most part :o I'm highly under-motivated sexually and not well equipped either. Girls don't like that but I can't change that- all I can do is accept the truth :mellow: When I just can't stand not getting laid any longer I find some girl somewhere who is looking for whatever she can get. That usually means that she isn't being the main target of attention in a crowd for whatever reason :( I make no promises beyond one night and leave no phone numbers behind me the next morning. It's not the best for either of us but it's better than nothing for both of us which would likely happen if not for me being there :whistling:. I refuse to pay for what was freely given so that option is out for me though it may work for you.

I have chosen as far as I can to live my life for me- not for what society or anyone else wants of me :D There's a price to pay for that or anything else, but I'd rather not be disingenuous than to pass myself off as something I am not. Here I am, true and genuine, and if that's not for you then you're not for me. Yes, I can 'play the game' and I do when I must but otherwise screw this world- I am me and that's all :girl_happy:

Bettypooh

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My experience has taught me that a woman wants an Alfa male 3/4 of the month and a sensitive fella 1/4 of the month. Or right around the time they are menstrating.

I got more chicks the stronger headed and Alfa I was then when I was the nice guy. Seemed the worse I treated them the more they came running?? Might be because the ones I was chasing had daddy issues, but who knows.

My wife likes my Alfa personality for the majority of the month and then for a week or so loves it when I'm sensitive and not so Alfa.

I've also never had my diapers ruin a relationship and I'm pretty open about them.

Your mileage may vary.

What's a alfa? I tried looking it up.

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Also, for the people who've replied who's partners participate in ABDL play, does that affect your sex life in any way?

Reason I ask is I have a friend who quite likes to 'mother' me (not in an AB way, but she likes cuddling and spooning whilst we watch TV) but I can't see her in a sexual light. Vice versa, when I see a girl who's really hot, I don't imagine her warming up a bottle of milk :P

So I'm interested to hear from people in relationships - is it possible to have a mummy/daddy one minute, and then a sexual partner the next?

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I've had plenty of relationships. i always throw out casual conversations of what the girl is and is not into before entering the relationship, so I know whether or not to mention my own fetishes. Wow, that sounds a lot more like a con act when I set it down like that. lol

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Also, for the people who've replied who's partners participate in ABDL play, does that affect your sex life in any way?

Reason I ask is I have a friend who quite likes to 'mother' me (not in an AB way, but she likes cuddling and spooning whilst we watch TV) but I can't see her in a sexual light. Vice versa, when I see a girl who's really hot, I don't imagine her warming up a bottle of milk :P

So I'm interested to hear from people in relationships - is it possible to have a mummy/daddy one minute, and then a sexual partner the next?

BP,

Yes, you and a partner can "flip a switch" and go from age play to adult sexual intimacy. For Baby Maggie, age play and sexual intimacy are mutually exclusive. There is nothing sexual about diapers, bottles or pacifiers to her in any way at all. That said, when I want adult time she changes mode.

What you are seeing in the many responses is that there are many ways people have reconciled AB/DL and adult sexual relationships. Strong, protective (alpha) male attracts mainstream girl and she accomodates his AB/DL out her love for him. AB/DLs find each other on AB/DL sites. Friendships evolve into relationships all the time and don't forget it! In fact, from what you've written, it sounds like that is probably how you are going to find success. It's easier to be yourself and be open with a friend and girls value openness in relationships.

Good luck brah!

Honu

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for our relationship, mine and my boyfriends, ab is a role play scenario of a sexual nature, so it does affect our sex life in that it is part of it. not all of it, we enjoy many other things as well, but this is one of our most engaged in scenarios.

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Also, for the people who've replied who's partners participate in ABDL play, does that affect your sex life in any way?

Reason I ask is I have a friend who quite likes to 'mother' me (not in an AB way, but she likes cuddling and spooning whilst we watch TV) but I can't see her in a sexual light. Vice versa, when I see a girl who's really hot, I don't imagine her warming up a bottle of milk :P

So I'm interested to hear from people in relationships - is it possible to have a mummy/daddy one minute, and then a sexual partner the next?

My husband has sex with me as he changes me so yes it is possible. He also rubs my diaper too. He will always be my daddy.

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My husband has sex with me as he changes me so yes it is possible. He also rubs my diaper too. He will always be my daddy.

So when you got together, was it through an ABDL website or did you get together and then evolve into an ABDL couple?

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it diddnt affect me at all i found my love earlier this year and just last week i told her my secret and she was totally fine and furthermore said if you wanna be like that we can do that im talmking the full experience so yeah life is very good for me it all starts next month for a few days then october when we move in together cause its a long distance relationship :)

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So when you got together, was it through an ABDL website or did you get together and then evolve into an ABDL couple?

We met on here.

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my fiancee is fine with it. she has literally zero care for it atm, so its a moot point. we have had sex where to get to me she would have to remove my sometimes wet diaper. she always does it like a childs, removeing the tapes and rolling it up, taping it down and tossing it aside to put in a bin later. it doesnt matter if i had been wet. her 100% nutral point means she neather care that i do or has any intrest in partisipating. but it doesnt put her off or bther her eather. sso it worked out for me.

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my fiancee is fine with it. she has literally zero care for it atm, so its a moot point. we have had sex where to get to me she would have to remove my sometimes wet diaper. she always does it like a childs, removeing the tapes and rolling it up, taping it down and tossing it aside to put in a bin later. it doesnt matter if i had been wet. her 100% nutral point means she neather care that i do or has any intrest in partisipating. but it doesnt put her off or bther her eather. sso it worked out for me.

Sounds cool man, even if she's not into it, the fact she let's you do what makes you happy is cool!

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I believe that the diapers have no effect when it comes to me and relationships with people. There are several other variables that have a far greater impact than what I wear under my pants. Generally, my complete distaste of bullshit is a big thing that makes it hard for me. I don't do games unless it's on a board, bicycle cards, or gaming console.... I don't deal with bullshit, liars, drug addicts, drunks, you know..... basically what I am saying is it's my general set of requirements and rules that prevent me from having any kind of relationship.

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