No Sex Is A Ftish

[KittenAB]

Oh the irony of that title, but it's actually true. Mostly I'm bored still and thought I post this for the sake of discussion.

A fetish is essentially an uncommon sexual practice when people use it for such things, and abstinence is uncommon. I should say "abstinence by choice" really, since there are some who just can't for one reason or another but want to. Here is the problem though, so many people in every walk of life think it's impossible to not want sex in any way. This has actually created a prejudice toward those who don't want sex, and it's a very bad prejudice because it's spread into the medical community as well. Now there is also the prejudice of those who do things just because they like it without involving sex, which I am sure many here have experienced.

The instant assumption that you do something for sex is such a strong stereotype that it's made most people incapable of separating sex from anything that's "not normal." Yet ironically non-sexuality is a fetish. So here's the discussion portion, in case you have nothing to talk on what I've said:

Do you believe that people can willingly decide they never want sex again?

Do you believe that anything can be non-sexual even if the majority of those involved do it for sexual gratification?

Have you witnessed any prejudice in your life because of the "everything is about sex" stereotype?

[Diapered Jason]

Non-sexuality or abstinence is not a fetish, it is a position centered around the idea of the absence of sex (unless you are referring to chastity, a completely different situation, which I doubt, lol). Also, the definition of a fetish is an object of sexual desire, not an uncommon sexual practice.

In my desire for this lifestyle, my sexual urges run deep. Sometimes, I have to busy myself with something in order to take my mind off of it. Indubitably, the sexual urges are overcome by more germane thoughts. Othertimes, the desire to be held, loved, and cared for appears most prominent. Sexual gratification is only one part of the relationship even if the entire relationship is based off of a fetish or even BDSM. To me, Mommy/baby roleplay and BDSM are very parallel in nature, because a certain element of trust that runs deeper than a common relationship must be present in both situations. This element of trust is seperate from the sexual gratification and is also another part of the relationship. There are many feelings that go through the mind of a top and bottom in both situations, and is the reason why the experience is so intense.

[KittenAB]

The problem is the definition of fetish has been expanded so much, it includes anything that is out of the ordinary now. The original meaning has nothing to do with sex at all, thus the irony of it all. So Jason, it is technically a fetish now.

I personally have no desire for sex, it actually even annoys me when people put so much importance on it. It really is not needed for everyone. Less than 10% of the current population can breed and maintain the population so it's just not needed. The thing is, everyone also thinks it's not natural to not enjoy or desire sexual activity, but that's contradictory to our natural ability to think and ignore our primal instincts.

[Diapered Jason]

The problem is the definition of fetish has been expanded so much, it includes anything that is out of the ordinary now. The original meaning has nothing to do with sex at all, thus the irony of it all. So Jason, it is technically a fetish now.

I think you are actually referring to kinks, not a fetish. Kink is the actual overlying broad term that applies to anything beyond insipid sex. In any case, the absence of sex is not a fetish or a kink. What you are saying has the same logic as saying atheism is a religion. Of course, it is not. It is the absence of religion. I don't know how else to explain this.

[tcc]

Do you believe that people can willingly decide they never want sex again?

They can decide, right now, for the moment, because of any particular reason, that they never want sex again. However, it depends upon what sex IS for them. If sex is sex, and a physical release or "get off", then it can mean very little and not be very gratifying. If sex means "making love" - a close interpersonal connection, including physical and mental, with someone you care deeply about or love, then sex for this person can be very different. And, in that situation, unless you have lost a partner whom you cared deeply about or who was your "soul mate" and you loved, and that deep connection is no longer there, never wanting to have sex again - at that point, for that time - may be a very real choice.

Do you believe that anything can be non-sexual even if the majority of those involved do it for sexual gratification?

I would guess it depends upon the mind-state you operate from. For me, a DL, diapers can't really be non-sexual because for me, I never deal with diapers as anything else, for instance, just a domination or bondage scene. I'm stimulated and aroused when I'm in diapers - I like the way they look on me, I like the way they feel when I wear them and I get a rush using them with no one the wiser, especially in publi - so, for me, it really can't be non-sexual. And, for me, diapered, to have sex while wearing, well, "bang, zoom, to the moon!". For the AB, for those just looking for plain nurturing from a mommy, nanny or babysitter, I'm sure it CAN be non-sexual in that regard. It doesn't matter whatever number are into diapers and derive sexual gratification. There will always be those on the other end of the spectrum, which is fine.

Have you witnessed any prejudice in your life because of the "everything is about sex" stereotype?

I'm not sure what you are asking here. If it is in regard to the AB/DL world, that is rife with sexual overtones in the community and various members of the community, that's not why I'm here and not what I'm looking for, so I don't consider I have a prejudice. I just know that all I ever wanted was to know that I was not mentally ill for being into diapers, that I was not alone, and the ultimate discovery for me - I'm straight, and very male - would be an attractive female DL to join me in my diapered side/life/world as a soul mate and marriage partner. However, that was NOT my main focus, nor did it drive me solely. And, over time, I simply had to learn - through two failed marriages, where diapers were NOT a main or major issue in the divorces - HOW to approach my DL side/life/world and have it accepted in a relationship that would last or be "the one", let alone encouraged, embraced and perhaps participated in.

Your questions were good. There is a lot of depth to those in our community. Some prefer and continue to deal with it from a very surface point of view - the whiny bothersome AB boys - and others, while they will never "get to the bottom of it", continue to understand themselves and what they're into and about, instead of just relaxing, chilling and just accepting and enjoying that they are different, and it's all about diapers - a legal, legitimate, moral product for a legitimate need. And, that they are chosen, worn and used, well, so be it. If you can afford silk shirts, silk frilly undies and silk handkerchiefs or ties, go for that! It's all in one's own perception that makes the difference in how one looks at themself and how they relate to others with what they are into and how they are.

[KittenAB]

I think you are actually referring to kinks, not a fetish. Kink is the actual overlying broad term that applies to anything beyond insipid sex. In any case, the absence of sex is not a fetish or a kink. What you are saying has the same logic as saying atheism is a religion. Of course, it is not. It is the absence of religion. I don't know how else to explain this.

You gotta love etymology. No, fetish has been expanded on definition far more. Kink is still pretty much what it means, when applied to sexual activity it actually still fits it's original definition. fetish 1610s, fatisso, from Port. feitiço "charm, sorcery," from L. facticius "made by art," from facere "to make" (see factitious). L. facticius in Spanish has become hechizo "magic, witchcraft, sorcery." Probably introduced by Portuguese sailors and traders as a name for charms and talismans worshipped by the inhabitants of the Guinea coast of Africa. Popularized in anthropology by C. de Brosses' "Le Culte des Dieux Fétiches" (1760), which influenced the word's spelling in English (Fr. fétiche, also from the Portuguese word). Figurative sense of "something irrationally revered" is Amer.Eng. 1837.

[Diapered Jason]

You gotta love etymology. No, fetish has been expanded on definition far more. Kink is still pretty much what it means, when applied to sexual activity it actually still fits it's original definition. fetish 1610s, fatisso, from Port. feitiço "charm, sorcery," from L. facticius "made by art," from facere "to make" (see factitious). L. facticius in Spanish has become hechizo "magic, witchcraft, sorcery." Probably introduced by Portuguese sailors and traders as a name for charms and talismans worshipped by the inhabitants of the Guinea coast of Africa. Popularized in anthropology by C. de Brosses' "Le Culte des Dieux Fétiches" (1760), which influenced the word's spelling in English (Fr. fétiche, also from the Portuguese word). Figurative sense of "something irrationally revered" is Amer.Eng. 1837.

You are not getting it. We are talking about the term "sexual fetish" only. Anyways, forget it, it does not look like I can explain it to you.

[KittenAB]

You are not getting it. We are talking about the term "sexual fetish" only. Anyways, forget it, it does not look like I can explain it to you.

However, if you apply the definition of fetish to somethig sexual, it makes no sense. Unless you widen the definition of fetish.

[Leilin]

However, if you apply the definition of fetish to somethig sexual, it makes no sense. Unless you widen the definition of fetish.

Just because one dictionary doesn't have the term doesn't mean you get to invent a new meaning for it.

http://www.dsm5.org/...ion.aspx?rid=63

http://en.wikipedia....te_note-dsm5-18

Your confusion, or willing obfuscation, comes from the incorrect assumption that the terms "fetish" and "sexual fetish" are congruent. They are not. If they were congruent, "sexual fetish" would not be a term, as the term "fetish," which is related, would have filled the definition without issue.

[KittenAB]

Just because one dictionary doesn't have the term doesn't mean you get to invent a new meaning for it.

http://www.dsm5.org/...ion.aspx?rid=63

http://en.wikipedia....te_note-dsm5-18

Your confusion, or willing obfuscation, comes from the incorrect assumption that the terms "fetish" and "sexual fetish" are congruent. They are not. If they were congruent, "sexual fetish" would not be a term, as the term "fetish," which is related, would have filled the definition without issue.

So .... I can't make up a meaning for it, but others can? Hypocrisy in linguistics, gotta love it.

[Leilin]

So .... I can't make up a meaning for it, but others can? Hypocrisy in linguistics, gotta love it.

The meaning was "made up" over a hundred years ago and reached status of precedent. Don't like it? Tough luck.

[KittenAB]

The meaning was "made up" over a hundred years ago and reached status of precedent. Don't like it? Tough luck.

A sexual "religious object" does not make any sense .... yeah, nice try. Hipster trolls are really the lamest of trolls.

[sarah_ab]

so then youj made this topic so you can argue with everyone who answers? lol

[aleyxsis]

I have refused to fall in love Asexual (means i do not care anymore ).This way i do not have to drag a nice girl throu my issues again !.When will it rain ? .Love rein over me !

[Guest Little-Tike]

Im non sexual im 2 year old incontinent sex isnt important nor do i play it out. And mood come and go so wha tlol what i say. Yes people can go without.

[bethy]

i dont want sex either spanking by hand yes (only when naughty) but sex no as far back as i can remember ive never had a sexual desire 4 my birth mom and dad so if im being an adult baby or adult kid y should i want that now i want

[Bettypooh]

Un-oh, I hear grammar nazis stirring We discourage TXT shorthand and such on these forums because we prefer our grammar nazis stay asleep

[astrodiaper]

Sometimes, there is more to the story. I could claim "religious" abstinence as my reason, but I know in my mind that isn't entirely true. It could be physical or psychological. I often wonder if it's my percieved inadequacies or something far more sinister in my past that I don't remember. There are other reasons that shoukdn't be ruled out.