Why Are We Ab?

[Sir Stinkypants]

Hiya folks!

I have been a DL for many years and have only recently started exploring (and really enjoying) being an AB. This change has occurred largely because I started dating a woman several years my senior, and, though she had never before been into diapers and such before now, she finds both great emotional satisfaction and sexual stimulation from playing the role of mommy for me. In recent years, I have been gaining some enormous insights into my own psychology in other ways, and have been finding that through my AB experiences that I am gaining yet more. I believe I can at this point shed at least some light on why I am an ABDL, and I thought this might be illuminating to others with AB tendencies seeking to understand themselves as well as an interesting topic for discussion.

A good primer for a psychological discussion on infantilism may be found at http://littleab.com/abinfo.html, it is actually the one from the now defunct DPF website that seems to have been borrowed. My own case is different than those discussed, but there are important notions discussed here.

Basically, I am an AB primarily because of elements of how my psychology developed in early childhood. My mother and I had an unusually close emotional relationship throughout my childhood; she was my best friend through much of it, and a needed defender from my rather angry and violent older sister. She was also a juxtaposition to my father, who was rather emotionally distant from both she and I (and pretty much everyone). He was also in many ways married to his work, and thus not around much. In some ways, it might be said I took over my father's proper role of emotional support for my mother far too young, indeed I was to take over most elements of the "man of the house" role somewhat younger than appropriate.

My parents remained married until I was 14, but they were not close through that whole period to my recollection. My dad does not really now how to relate to people emotionally even now, so you could say that he is incapable of being close to anyone. This is due to his own psychology, and as such blame is inappropriate. He was never an abusive man nor a Mr. Macho, and I've never really doubted that he loves me. He just finds emotional matters very difficult to express and to receive, and as such I pity him. I think in some ways we are closer now than we ever have been, which is still not that close...

As for ABism, there are several factors discussed above that play into it I think. I am told I was resistant to potty training; it was not achieved until I was almost 3 and then with a threat to keep me out of pre-school. I think this resistance was partly due to the prospect of losing that special bonding ritual of the diaper change with my mother, partly due to not wanting to be "big boy" if that meant being like my father, and partly because of a third factor I have yet to mention.

In my study of myself and my childhood, I have discovered what appears to be a power relationship between my mother and myself that I have until recently been unaware of. The child depending on the mother emotionally is natural; the mother depending on the child emotionally is probably not so. Whether or no, it gives the child power over the mother he or she would not usually have. What do you suppose happened when that power was challenged by the first time in life anything was really expected of me?

There were of course other manifestations to this "I don't want to grow up" mentality, many of which persist to this day. I was big into stuffed animals rather long into my childhood, for instance; I slept with a stuffed killer whale into my 20's (still not sure why I stopped, saved a perception that girlfriends might find it unmanly). There are also numerous examples of how I psychologically try to duck adult responsibilities, often with disastrous results.

There are elements to my maternal relationship that are similar to (though surely not the same as) sexual abuse, especially if you factor in the freudian association of mother and lover (I am male, so the more so). I'd swear she was more than a little jealous of my first girlfriend (which seemed strange at the time), and it was about then that the closeness we had once enjoyed came to a close.

I do not for a moment believe my mother meant me any harm by anything she did, or even realized the potential for such. But as a human being and a woman in a loveless marriage, an offer of real intimacy from someone she'd be expected to be intimate with on some level anyway was probably irresistible. She has her own psychological scars that left her open to such a thing, and, though I perceive harmful effects to some parts of our relationship, it is far more useful to correctly perceive what happened than it is to lay blame. We are still pretty close today, and we discuss these things (not the AB side of it!)

I am finding being an AB both instructive and therapeutic. My "mommy" is in some ways like my mother, indeed my lovers always have been in one way or another. If people get into this thread, I'll post more about her psychology, but suffice it to say she is a willing and even enthusiastic mommy. In playing out the baby role (toddler, actually) moreso than ever before, I am able to perceive a similar affection and power relationship to the one I must've had with my mother at that age. Marvelously instructive! It's therapeutic in the sense that if I'm allowed to be a complete baby sometimes, I can be a more complete big boy when dealing with the big bad world.

So, what do you folks think? Anything ring a bell about my story, or possibly you can offer a different analysis? We can discuss me, but I'm really interested in YOUR ideas about where YOU think YOUR AB tendencies come from. Look forward to reading about it!

Oh, and feel free to ask questions, make comments, etc. I will post more if we get a good discussion going!

[LilFozzyJ5]

Ello Sir knight,

its very interesting how deep you have gone into your past and your personality, you have given it a lot of thought, and I think your outcomes are reasoned. Of course such musings are very subjective, and people can sometimes see what they want to see, although that doesnt appear to be the case here.

I may be proven wrong but i think a lot of abdl's dont want to know why, they are just happy they do, I have also done a lot of soul searching of many years, trying to think back, my biggest hurdle is I have no memory of my childhood before the age of 9, it is a total and complete blank, even photos my parents have of birthday parties and holidays with me clearly in them do not jog a memory.

I have had 'emotional' problems since I was 9. in fact having told my parents two years ago about all that had happened, my mum in tears said my Great Aunt always used to call me smiler, and she now realises that was there year i stopped smiling. A couple of girls that lived in our local pub down the road stayed with use for a week, and while everyone else was in the garden playing and having fun, i was upstairs in my room changing as i had got soaked (Hot summer day water fighting). The eldest of the two girls (About 2 or 3 yrs older than me) attacked me in my room, what I have been told by a pschiatric Nurse I had sessions with, was sexual abuse. The details I wont go into here.

Several other incidents happened in my developing years, including my mums best friend committing suicide (She was apparently the person i always went to if i was upset or had a problem), and i was beaten up by a large gang of scum bags leaving me with 4 x A4 pages of injuries across my body. The doctor could make out the make and size of trainers worn by the bruising on my back. My school was a terrible place, were in your first year, they locked you into an enclosed playground to seperate you from the remaining school to stop you being beaten, I used to run home, taking different routes each day, for fear of being caught and beaten.

During this time, I first experimented, with sitting on the toilet in my underwear and purposely wetting/messing them. then my cousin had a couple of new borns and i got very brave and stole some nappies (Diapers). these are my first experiences with such things.

When i was 18 I joined the Royal Airforce as an airframe tech (hide the engines, wiring and armourments, and the rest was mine). and iwas also subject to bullying here, as I did not blend in (I didnt like golf, football or formula one, and I had got bored of porn after the first 100 times someone put it on, instead I liked Heavy metal, reading and painting little models). after about three years, i volunteered to do mountain rescue duties in the RAF, and was posted to north wales. I performed my normal duties, but was on call for call outs 24/7 and we went out to the mountains at the weekends to practice and be close by. During those years, i saw and took part in things that have left their mark upon me. I volunteered within the team to undertake paramedic training and went away on a course which concluded with a week hands on in oxfordshire. I reached ambulance tech level and could have progressed to tech.

Through all of this I have had to keep my enjoyment of diapers a secret, I always thought i was some kind of freak, or sicko and if a single soul found out i would be locked up. it wasnt until i was 26, already married and had left the mountain rescue team that i finally found out it had a name and there was other people that do it, and it was ok. 17 yrs of paranoia... left its mark.

so what does this tell us about me. well according to the two nurses i have done sessions with (neither of which is actually qualified to give me a diagnosis) I have either PTSD or I have social anxiety, which amounts to the same thing really. I have nightmares, I have daily flash backs from the childhood things i have mentioned and some of the call outs i attended on mountain rescue. I have a hyper vigilance problem, where i am always looking behind me, checking out all around me and am very uncomfortable in crowds etc. i have trouble sleeping and have since i was, funny old thing, 9 yrs old. well the list could go on, but i wont.

back to diapers, wearing them and being childish in private, calms me, it takes me back to a time i cant actually remember, but where im sure i was unconditionally loved, cared for and looked after. all of my adult worries and problems drift away and I can be at peace, even if it is for a short while.

I also started having these feelings when i was going through puberty, so i wont deny there is sexual feelings associated with my abdl feelings also, it is hard to seperate the two things. hey i was a boy in my teens with urges, which just happened to surface while i was enclosed in a diaper or sitting on the toilet...

so after years of soul searching this is what i have come up with, my personal reasons are down to emotional hurt and the need to shed my adult responsibilities and worries.

I dont know if this helps ya, but thats the bare bones of it for me.

cheers

Fozzy.

P.S. trying to get to see someone who can diagnose you in this country, unless your willing to pay a large fee, which i dont have, is impossible.

So i still cannot get any life insurance as they require you to give a difinitive diagnosis.

[Bettypooh]

....musings....

Fozzy, I love your use of this word- it fits perfectly and is far superior to my use of 'pondering' in similar scenarios. I am going to try to make use if it more often- Thanks

....where im sure i was unconditionally loved, cared for and looked after....

Again these words are lovely to me, even though I am not AB We all need that whether we admit it or not. Our 'growing up' is really just our allowing some responsibilities toward others to be attached to this so we can find this in someone other than the family we were born into. That part of 'growing up' really just allows us to make a living on our own because doing that requires a give and take which 'immature people' do not have available to them

The most successful and the most happiest people in this life never lose their childish enthusiasm for life, and they always seek fun and happiness in whatever form they prefer it to come in. That should guide us as a soceity but too many people 'grow up' into something far less than this I think as humans we all need some 'child-like' time throughout life so we can readjust to the world around us and handle our lives without going insane. In that there is a great value to the simple beauty of being AB. People here on DD have taught me to understand that, and I hope I am a better person for that education!

Bettypooh

[mike indiapers]

First, thank you Sir Stinkypants for the posting and provocation to delve into a very controversial topic within mainstream society - infantilism and the attraction to diapers. A much more healthy way to seek understanding than the media portrayal of our lifestyle.

What a great topic and I really enjoyed reading the primer describing the psychology of infantilism from the defunct DPF website. As a lifelong ABDL, I could relate to the a few key drivers of what triggers infantilism and the attraction to wearing diapers as an adult. I try very hard to keep my ABDL needs in balance with the other very important non-ABDL things in my life and have found that this balance is healthy and allows my ABDL feelings to be a positive influence to my overall personality - i.e. it provides me with happiness that permeates my entire perspective on life and relationships with others. What follows is a brief synopsis of my journey into the ABDL world.

My earliest memories were when I was 3 years old and my mom just brought home my baby brother. I grew up in a military family where my father was never home and we moved every year or two to a new location. The disruption of constant change, a new sibling, and a mother that was very harsh and non-nurturing had a lasting and permanent impact on me and caused issues with potty training.

With a new baby in the home, my mom took me out of diapers and forced the potty on me immediately. I vaguely remember trying hard to please her and be the big kid of the home now that I had a baby brother. I recall that the attention shifted away from me and that I was now relegated to a supporting role. About this time, we moved to a new location and I struggled with using the potty, having many accidents. My mom and dad grew frustrated with me and my mom started to diaper me after accidents and threaten to return me to diapers on a permanent basis if I continued to go in my pants. Little did I know at the time that I had a physical condition called irritable bowel syndrome, which made control difficult.

My accidents continued and I remember very clearly the incident that got me back in diapers on a permanent basis just after I turned 4 years old. We were at the store shopping when the urge to go hit me very sudden and before I knew it I had pooped my pants. My mom was very upset and we went home immediately to clean me up. She told me she had enough and proceeded to diaper me in my brother's diapers, which were very snug. She took me to the local Sears and bought bigger diapers and plastic pants for me and I stayed in diapers for the next two years until I was finally potty trained again so I could start school - I started school a year late due to my IBS and need to wear diapers. During this time, I was very self conscious and embarrassed about being in diapers and using them.

I remember I was thrilled to finally be out of diapers once in school, but I continued to have accidents as I tried to learned to understand my body signals better having IBS. During the next few years, my mom would continue to use diapers as a form of punishment if I had an accident to remind me that I was acting babyish. Because of my extended time in diapers I continued to wet the bed, so I wore diapers at night. It was very humiliating for me to be in diapers during the daytime. At the same time, I started to notice how other mom's treated their toddlers during diaper changes in a loving and nurturing manner and the connection to diapers started to form in my head.

I remember starting to fantasize about being diapered by a loving mommy and living a new life away from my family and cold, nonsense real mom. These feelings continued into my teenage years and I started to experiment with diapers by buying pampers and trying them on. All sorts of feelings rushed into my head.

Fast forward to college, where I discovered adult diapers and started to experiment with them. My ABDL side started to form, but i thought i was alone. It wasn't until I found the ABDL community on the Internet, Diaper Pail Friends, etc. that I knew there were others with similar interests and feelings. I remember feeling elated that I was among friends and met ABDLs like myself.

I am a practicing ABDL today, yet live a very vanilla life outside my baby and diaper time. I like to be the age of 2 or 3 when I age play and have a very strong attraction to being put in diapers and nurtured. That is my story and I would love to share more.

[BriGuy]

Because we are enlightened! And totally rad!

I've mused and pondered this question for years and developed the theory... We are what we are, there is no why, there only is what it is.

I used to attribute this part of me from my mother leaving me when I was 18 months old. It could be, or not. That knowledge and frame of mind never really helped me understand myself.

It was my wife who taught me to let go and just enjoy it for what it is. Getting caught up in the why's always got in the way of just being.

Your mileage may vary but this has been my experience.

[Sir Stinkypants]

Thanks so much to everyone for such fascinating responses! Keep them coming, please, this is great!

It seems I am not alone in my ponderings of the reasons behind what is in most ways an irrational set of desires. Fun and wondrous, surely, but curious and seemingly somewhat short of making sense. Admit it, people: it's awfully hard to explain something like this to another when you don't understand it yourself. I will take this opportunity to point out the incompatibility of blame and judgement (of oneself or others) with understanding. Understanding is instructive and useful, blame and judgement are only negative...

I agree with you, BriGuy, one should relax and let it be...or rather one should explore it, which includes taking all the pleasure it has to offer, but also offers an opportunity at insight into the deeper self from which these desires come. I'm sure many AB's and DL's would prefer to enjoy their pleasures in ignorance of their root causes, and more power to them if that is their (or your, if this is you) desire.

For myself, simply put I believe that self-discovery is the ultimate and paramount purpose of life, and I see no conflict between enjoying this facet of myself fully and seeking to understand where it comes from. Different strokes for different folks I suppose, but none of us understand ourselves as well as we think and I think questions are healthy... But again, I both expected and do respect anyone's desire to indulge without such questions...

For everyone else, I will very likely respond to a few other specific posts soon. I will also continue the discussion of my own tale, or yours! I cannot overstress how fascinating I am finding everyone's posts, please keep 'em coming!

[spark]

I like this question,and it is different from the 'when did you know?' question. This one goes much deeper into my psyche and asked why.

I never suffered through any real trauma as a child, and lived a fairly balanced life. I was fortunate enough to have two loving parents, and very good relationship with my brother (who is still my best friend). I never really faced any personal demons that would explain my desire, nor did I wet my bed or having toileting issues in my childhood.

However, I was a very late bloomer when it came to milestones, and remained immature for my age my entire school years. I think of my milestones were late. I'm told I didn't begin walking until I was nearly 15 months.

I was also late with potty training. I know I was well past 3 years old before I got out of diapers, and was still struggling with it when I was 4 and half. At four and a half I think my mom and dad were still prompting me, and helping me when I had to use the bathroom. I also know that I was diapered at least once when I was that age, because I have memories of having my diaper changed.

At 4 my dad was sent overseas for 6 months, and we moved to Indonesia just before my 5th birthday. By this time all of my toileting issues were through, even wetting the bed. I was finally potty trained, but still a very young 'five-year-old'. My mom had to the option to start me in Kindergarten, but decided to wait one year. Even by then, I was less mature and ready than a lot of my peers. I had speech therapy, struggled with my motor skills (nothing major, but I was always the last kid picked for games), and wasn't really a good reader in elementary school.

I know that I already had infantile desires at that age. I would pretend to be a baby at times, and generally didn't want 'big kid' things. We moved back to California when I was nine, and going from a very small school (8 kids in my class) to a full size American public elementary school was a bit of a cultural shock. I struggled to make friends, and remained socially awkward all the way till 6th grade. By this point I started to want to wear diapers again, although I never actually did anything about it.

I was also fairly late reaching puberty and still lagging behind my peers when I started high school. I was essentially a momma's boy, although it wasn't anything that out of the norm for a child (just on younger side of maturity). At 16 I suffered the most traumatic experience in my life, which was the death of my mother. I was suddenly shifted from a child into an adult in one instant. I matured greatly after my mother died, and was finally reaching up to my peers. It was also at this point that I started to get some physical size as well. I went from 120 pounds as a Freshman to 180 pounds as senior, and probably grew a 5 inches. Athletically I was no longer the least talented player (I was never the most athletic, but at least I could hold my own).

All those things would imply my need for infantile urges should leave, but it was at that point that I began to explore them in much more detail. I learned about adult diapers, and wanted to try them. So as I got older, my infantile desires grew. I'm thinking that I'm an AB because I had an innate reluctance to grow up, and remained a 'child' as long as possible. I was forced to grow up very suddenly, and even though I accepted the challenge, a part of me held on to my infantile mind.

[Jackiewope]

tl; dr

[/lazylope]

[sarah_ab]

when i was a child, my mother made macaroni and cheese but i wasn't allowed to have any. Now as a grown up it is my favorite food. It has to be because this one time she made maccarroni and cheese and I wasn't allowed to have any. I was allowed to have it many other times, but that one time must be the cause of why i love macaroni and cheese.

As a child i had to wash dishes, and we used yellow sponges. I used to take a long time because i liked to play in the water. This has to be why i love spongebob. The memories of having fun with a yellow sponge make me want to watch spongebob.

Once as a child i got a belt, i remember i must have been 4 or 5 and my brother and I were playing "zoo" and I was the lion, because i could roar real well and he put the belt around my neck and used it as a 'leash.' It was such a fun game, we loved to play that game. THis has to be why as an adult i am into bondage. A pretend came i played as a young child with my equally young brother must have caused my sexual arousal at being tied down.

Yep.. all of these one time memories must be the reason I am the way I am. .. . . Don't get me wrong I am a huge believer that our experiences shape us, I am a 50/50 split on nature v. nurture. I believe our experiences help to 'kick start' certain genetic predispositions. But i don't think there was any one thing that made me get off being 'forced' into being a baby... for me, it is a role play scenario in the world of BDSM... so no.. i don't think there was any one experience that made me get off on being submissive sexually...

I think all of my experiences helped to kick start certain genetic traits which helped to mold my personality, part of which is the sexual aspect, which has a need to be dominated. Childhood in and of itself did not cause me to want to wear diapers.... finding an ab website full of stories at the age of 21 and getting turned on made me want to be an AB.

When i began to discover that being submissive in my intimate relationships turned me on even more, i never stopped to try and 'figure out' why i liked it... I would rather, for myself personally, spend my time exploring what i do and do not like.. and engaging in it...

Memories are complete unreliable. We are constantly changing and molding memories to fit into an idea of what we think must have happened. or we think we must have felt. For example, I do know my brother and I played a pretend game called Zoo because my mother and father have told us we did, and I do know a belt was used as a leash because there are pictures of this with our faces painted like lions and tigers.

But i do not know if i really did have a good roar, i "remember" roaring, but did this really happen or has my mind just decided that i 'must' have roared since i was playing the animal and had my face painted like a lion? I have a 'memory' of one particular time when i pretended to be sick to stay home with my brother so we could play zoo. but did this really happen? Or do i just remember it because it seems like something i think i would have done as a child?... I don't know... and since there is no one i can ask to confirm or deny this memory... I cannot even begin to trust that it is really true. So to say "this must have caused my desire to be tied up" really has no truth in it.

Even if there were video footage of my brother and I playing, I would still have no idea what i felt while playing it, I may think i was having fun, because i appeared to in the video, and so in my memory (which may only exists because i created it based on teh video) may have me enjoying the experience, I have no idea if that is true, only that at this point in my life, i assume that as a child i was enjoying playing the game based on my adult experiences leading to my idea that a smiling me in old videos must have meant i was happy. Basically memories are just lies. Never trust a memory to provide an accurate example of how one was feeling or thinking at a time. Memories are great because they give us a story, and help us identify with others, but should never be trusted to provide an accurate factual account of events or emotions.

I never felt a need to figure out why i like something... why do i like macaroni and cheese, why do i like spongebob? why do i like the color blue? i mean all of these things have just as much influence on my life.. i watch spongebob almost daily, i wear blue clothes all the time (aside from blue jeans)... I always try new macaroni and cheese menus.... but i don't spend hours on end wondering why i like them... i just know i do and so partake in these activities...

so too are my sexual likes and dislikes... i don't care why i like being tied up, being spanked, be 'forced' to wear a diaper etc.... i just know i do.. and so i partake in them.... For me... that is enough... personally... for me....

[KittenAB]

The answer for me is very simplistic, perhaps too simplistic for people to believe but meh.

I have urinary incontinence, flooding mostly.

I love frilly things, and pink, lots of pink.

These two things just screamed AB, and that's oddly how I found out about it, was looking for some cute diaper covers online and ... Adult Baby sites came up most of the time. Matter of fact, the only cute things for diapers in adult sizes come from such sites, so in order to not look like I belong in a nursing home, it's what I need to buy.

[Sir Stinkypants]

Thanks again to everyone for posting! Anyone else finding this a fascinating discussion? I'd like to briefly respond to a few of the ideas presented, these responses are in no particular order. Please do not infer that if your post is not addressed here, that it won't be in future or that I find it of little importance. Everyone's story is important, as is everyone's understanding of him or herself; remember that your story can be educational and inspirational to others struggling to understand their AB and DL tendencies. I would like to reiterate that this is intended as a discussion free of blame and judgement, for those seeking enlightenment about the hows and whys of their becoming ABDL. I do NOT mean to suggest that there is anything wrong with indulging these tendencies as pleases you, indeed I believe that for myself AB play is therapeutic and informative...

Before addressing anyone's specific post, I'd like to advance a general psychological concept: A large proportion of who we become as adults is dictated by factors of our development in early childhood. The social interactions we have at that age teach us how to interact socially throughout life; they become the foundation upon which we build the rest of our identities. We learn the rudiments of emotional coping at this time, and the rudiments of our self-image are formed. We do learn by instruction and questions, but mostly by passive observation.

This is also the period of our lives when we wear diapers with no need or concept of shame or embarrassment, it is not difficult to see how an emotional association between diapers and emotional security might be formed that might last into adulthood. Have you ever spent time with a child of 2 or 3 or 4? I have, and I've noticed that they have this curious pattern to the way they perceive the world, based on what appears to be an innate pattern of development. Kids at that age ask questions, and it is not hard to observe that these questions, at least taken together, are not random. Rather, they revolve around very specific subjects: What is a girl, and what is a boy (i.e. what is my gender role in this society, and what is the other role?)? What is "big boy/girl" or adult and what is babyish? Who are my role models, and how do they behave? There seems to be a universal directive to be curious about these things at certain points, or "phases", in our development. The lessons that we learn via these curiosities in early childhood, good or ill, stay with us...

Many of us (myself included) are AB, DL, or both because, for one reason or another, we have as Spark put it, "an innate reluctance to grow up." Not innate, I think, learned, but the concept is sound. Emotional factors revolving around security tie directly to sexual proclivities of all sorts later in life; we are turned on by things that fill certain sorts of emotional needs...

So, on to specific posts:

when i was a child, my mother made macaroni and cheese but i wasn't allowed to have any. Now as a grown up it is my favorite food. It has to be because this one time she made maccarroni and cheese and I wasn't allowed to have any. I was allowed to have it many other times, but that one time must be the cause of why i love macaroni and cheese.

As a child i had to wash dishes, and we used yellow sponges. I used to take a long time because i liked to play in the water. This has to be why i love spongebob. The memories of having fun with a yellow sponge make me want to watch spongebob.

Once as a child i got a belt, i remember i must have been 4 or 5 and my brother and I were playing "zoo" and I was the lion, because i could roar real well and he put the belt around my neck and used it as a 'leash.' It was such a fun game, we loved to play that game. THis has to be why as an adult i am into bondage. A pretend came i played as a young child with my equally young brother must have caused my sexual arousal at being tied down.

Yep.. all of these one time memories must be the reason I am the way I am. .. . . Don't get me wrong I am a huge believer that our experiences shape us, I am a 50/50 split on nature v. nurture. I believe our experiences help to 'kick start' certain genetic predispositions. But i don't think there was any one thing that made me get off being 'forced' into being a baby... for me, it is a role play scenario in the world of BDSM... so no.. i don't think there was any one experience that made me get off on being submissive sexually...

I think all of my experiences helped to kick start certain genetic traits which helped to mold my personality, part of which is the sexual aspect, which has a need to be dominated. Childhood in and of itself did not cause me to want to wear diapers.... finding an ab website full of stories at the age of 21 and getting turned on made me want to be an AB.

When i began to discover that being submissive in my intimate relationships turned me on even more, i never stopped to try and 'figure out' why i liked it... I would rather, for myself personally, spend my time exploring what i do and do not like.. and engaging in it...

Memories are complete unreliable. We are constantly changing and molding memories to fit into an idea of what we think must have happened. or we think we must have felt. For example, I do know my brother and I played a pretend game called Zoo because my mother and father have told us we did, and I do know a belt was used as a leash because there are pictures of this with our faces painted like lions and tigers.

But i do not know if i really did have a good roar, i "remember" roaring, but did this really happen or has my mind just decided that i 'must' have roared since i was playing the animal and had my face painted like a lion? I have a 'memory' of one particular time when i pretended to be sick to stay home with my brother so we could play zoo. but did this really happen? Or do i just remember it because it seems like something i think i would have done as a child?... I don't know... and since there is no one i can ask to confirm or deny this memory... I cannot even begin to trust that it is really true. So to say "this must have caused my desire to be tied up" really has no truth in it.

Even if there were video footage of my brother and I playing, I would still have no idea what i felt while playing it, I may think i was having fun, because i appeared to in the video, and so in my memory (which may only exists because i created it based on teh video) may have me enjoying the experience, I have no idea if that is true, only that at this point in my life, i assume that as a child i was enjoying playing the game based on my adult experiences leading to my idea that a smiling me in old videos must have meant i was happy. Basically memories are just lies. Never trust a memory to provide an accurate example of how one was feeling or thinking at a time. Memories are great because they give us a story, and help us identify with others, but should never be trusted to provide an accurate factual account of events or emotions.

I never felt a need to figure out why i like something... why do i like macaroni and cheese, why do i like spongebob? why do i like the color blue? i mean all of these things have just as much influence on my life.. i watch spongebob almost daily, i wear blue clothes all the time (aside from blue jeans)... I always try new macaroni and cheese menus.... but i don't spend hours on end wondering why i like them... i just know i do and so partake in these activities...

so too are my sexual likes and dislikes... i don't care why i like being tied up, being spanked, be 'forced' to wear a diaper etc.... i just know i do.. and so i partake in them.... For me... that is enough... personally... for me....

First off, a pleasure! Second, I do not agree that memories are all lies. Taking them as strictly factual is dangerous, but they are important clues to one's inner self. It is at least as important that you chose to remember one event and not others as it is what you specifically remember. In a real sense, our memory is the only context we have for ourselves, who we are is largely defined by where we've been and what we've experienced (even to ourselves). Even if we have memories that are contrary to fact, the way in which they diverge from said fact is telling about ourselves and how we've chosen to interpret our experiences. Such non-factual memories can actually be more informative than things we know actually happened.

As for your specific case, I don't presume to tell people how they are...that's up to you! I have dated people with BDSM tendencies as well as fellow ABDL's, and my observations suggest that both have a psychological basis. Though not but so into bondage myself, I do enjoy being dominated in various ways sexually. I think that in myself and the others I have known, there seems to be a somewhat understandable link between an enjoyment of what might be described as "self-negatory" sexual behaviors (things the average person might interpret as abusing oneself or encouraging others to do so) and low self-esteem. I don't interpret these things as abuse, they are pleasure for those who take pleasure in them, but they do speak of something deeper. I do not know you, and I do not presume to tell you how you are or how to be. I also have not the slightest thought of ill judgement, more power to all things that please you so long as they harm no one else... I respect that you don't have the need that I do to understand why we are what we are. That you enjoy these things seems to be enough for you, and that's enough for me...enjoy some for me! But this IS a discussion of the origins and psychology of ABDL...

The answer for me is very simplistic, perhaps too simplistic for people to believe but meh. I have urinary incontinence, flooding mostly. I love frilly things, and pink, lots of pink. These two things just screamed AB, and that's oddly how I found out about it, was looking for some cute diaper covers online and ... Adult Baby sites came up most of the time. Matter of fact, the only cute things for diapers in adult sizes come from such sites, so in order to not look like I belong in a nursing home, it's what I need to buy.

Hi, Kitten AB! I actually find your story adorable, as well as an understandable association (a girl surely has every right to be frilly if she wants to ). As much as I like my diapers and using them, I have nothing but sympathy for those forced into them by failures of the body. I'm not sure whether if that makes you AB in the sense of this discussion, though of course we are all permitted to self-define. Do you enjoy playing the role of a baby or toddler, beyond your necessary diapers? Does being in your diapers or using them please you? There seem to be all sorts of variations on AB and DL, probably dictated by the infinite variations of human psychological development. Nonetheless, it is a pleasure to have met you, I enjoyed your post. Keep in touch!

It was very humiliating for me to be in diapers during the daytime. At the same time, I started to notice how other mom's treated their toddlers during diaper changes in a loving and nurturing manner and the connection to diapers started to form in my head.

I remember starting to fantasize about being diapered by a loving mommy and living a new life away from my family and cold, nonsense real mom. These feelings continued into my teenage years and I started to experiment with diapers by buying pampers and trying them on. All sorts of feelings rushed into my head.

Fast forward to college, where I discovered adult diapers and started to experiment with them. My ABDL side started to form, but i thought i was alone. It wasn't until I found the ABDL community on the Internet, Diaper Pail Friends, etc. that I knew there were others with similar interests and feelings. I remember feeling elated that I was among friends and met ABDLs like myself.

I am a practicing ABDL today, yet live a very vanilla life outside my baby and diaper time. I like to be the age of 2 or 3 when I age play and have a very strong attraction to being put in diapers and nurtured. That is my story and I would love to share more.

Lots of parallels with my story, mike indiapers, thanks for posting this. I too discovered my ABDL self in the age before the internet (thinking of posting a thread about this for other older ABDLs). I've never been the sort of person to worry overmuch about what others might think, and I could not deny the erections I got from fantasizing about it or playing with diapers or whatever (the emotional side I only figured out later, though it was always there). So I rolled with it...it was a marvelous revelation when I first did see all the ABDL websites, I rather miss the Diaper Pail Friends! As for psychology, I can definitely see how you could have developed a desire for a sort of nurturing you were denied by your mother, especially as your IBS had you dealing with diapering somewhat later than most of us and you had the opportunity to observe more intimate mother/toddler relationships. I may respond to your post again, or feel free to continue your story.

How 'bout ya, everyone else? Why do YOU like to be a big kid? Not HOW, WHY?

[mike indiapers]

Sir Stinkypants, let me continue with your observation:

As for psychology, I can definitely see how you could have developed a desire for a sort of nurturing you were denied by your mother, especially as your IBS had you dealing with diapering somewhat later than most of us and you had the opportunity to observe more intimate mother/toddler relationships. I may respond to your post again, or feel free to continue your story.

Wearing diapers as an older child was probably a necessity given my IBS and potty training struggles, so I am actual thankful that I was kept in diapers as long as I was by my Mom. The embarrassment of being in diapers was there, but the comfort, security and need for wearing them far exceeded the negative feelings. As for the nurturing needs, I remember going to daycare when I was 4 and 5 years old and feeling almost special because I was in diapers and treated with extra attention by the daycare ladies. I remember feeling very good about having my diapers checked and changed and getting that attention due to my diapers. I was treated like a toddler in some ways and yearned for that attention as I got older. Unfortunately, some of my later childhood diaper experiences overshadowed those times, when my Mom used diapers as a form of negative reinforcement when I had accidents as I got even older due to my IBS. I remember being diapered and kept home from school as a 3rd grader when my IBS flared up and my mom decided that a stint in diapers was in order. That was pretty humbling at the time. This caused some of my other darker feelings toward diapers. I feel like I have many layers to the psychological aspects of the need for diapers.

[KittenAB]

Sir Stinkypants, I do enjoy being babied, who doesn't? Really, even non-AB types enjoy it very much, they just pretend not to. Thanks for your sympathy, but meh, it's not a huge deal just an annoyance. If I had discovered AB-DL before being incontinent, I may have done it by choice, just not all the time. I really don't see different lifestyles as defined as people want them to be. No walls between them, no black and white, it's all just one gray color. It's an effect of being over analytical of everything. I even have a hard time defining the differences between .. well every lifestyle. Even gay is not really gay to me. LOL

The way I see it, people choose to stick to labels as a means to belong to something, since from birth we are all basically brainwashed into thinking that you have to have a "class" in order to be a human. The brainwashing didn't work on me, since I hate classes, labels, and any group restriction of any sort. That's why I just go with the flow on this matter, people consider me AB, even in real life, just because of how I act, dress, and behave so ... may as well use that term. Online I'm much more forward, the real me shows a lot more, dominant and blunt. In real life I'm still blunt, but quiet and submissive. The difference comes because of a habit I formed in real life of observing without altering other people's behavior, a survival technique of sorts. When I was young I was labeled a leader, I really don't like beig a leader, more instigator than leader. But being paraded around made to give speeches to church congregations and schools ... got old. I hated it early on. So I turned into a quiet person in real life, for some reason people just shut up whenever I talked and stopped thinking for themselves in real life, but online, people will counter what I say, it's great online. LOL

[TBlazer]

Haha well the WHY is the easy question. It feels good! And sex is a powerful motivator to do things you wouldnt normally do.

Seems like the few girls who are ABs came about later in life, through self discovery or a boyfriend. Yet it seems like a lot of males, like me, felt these desires since day one. After reading wikipedias page on infantilism, it makes me think its largely a genetic disorder found in men. I hate using the term disorder, but all of our pasts and experiences are different. I for one have felt this way since the day i was toilet trained, and there is no abuse or traumatic events in my past. Sure i didnt grow up in a perfect family, but who did?

Wheres the common link if we all have different theories on why we are this way?

[LilFozzyJ5]

its interesting, just looking at the few people that have replied, how diverse we truely are, in our ways and our thought process.

how one person can be very strongly opinioned that memories and past dealings do not shape them, and then the complete opposite of the scale is someone with my experiences and thoughts. just shows in this area there is no right or wrong way to see things, only the way you wish to think.

its a very interesting thread.

[sarah_ab]

i hope hou werent referrig to me because i clearly stated past experiences do shape us as do memories i was stated our memories cannot be trusted because we change them .... but i did state we are strgly influenced by both nature and nurture

[LilFozzyJ5]

Aye i was Sarah, but i meant no offence to you, so if you have taken any im sorry, what i got from you post was that you didnt believe memories and experiences shaped your like for this 'lifestyle'

i misunderstood your intent.. so its all cool.

cheers

[Sir Stinkypants]

Interesting stuff, keep it coming! All opinions and ideas are welcome, though, like you, I am free to disagree. I used to think many of my problems or oddities were genetic, but then I had a chance to get to know a young woman who changed my views on such things forever. She was a victim of both child abuse and childhood sexual abuse, and in getting to know her and delving into her story some very interesting things were revealed, not just about her but about me as well. I am not a victim of child abuse or sexual abuse, but there were nonetheless parts of her story that rang serious bells and caused me to re-analyze the entire nature and function of human psychology. It is simpler and more causal than I had ever imagined; more logical. There are many factors, and differentiating what means and what had what effect is the difficulty. In the lady's case I mentioned above, her psychological difficulties were so extreme that the causal relationships weren't as mysterious as they usually are, and, though she had lived a very different life than I, still there were developmental problems we had in common. It opened a door to the inner workings of myself that I had never known...I would share her gift, if I could...and if there are others who truly wish to know

Nature and nurture is what we are, you are correct Sarah AB, but which is which? THAT is the question!

[Sir Stinkypants]

Sir Stinkypants, I do enjoy being babied, who doesn't? Really, even non-AB types enjoy it very much, they just pretend not to. Thanks for your sympathy, but meh, it's not a huge deal just an annoyance. If I had discovered AB-DL before being incontinent, I may have done it by choice, just not all the time. I really don't see different lifestyles as defined as people want them to be. No walls between them, no black and white, it's all just one gray color. It's an effect of being over analytical of everything. I even have a hard time defining the differences between .. well every lifestyle. Even gay is not really gay to me. LOL

The way I see it, people choose to stick to labels as a means to belong to something, since from birth we are all basically brainwashed into thinking that you have to have a "class" in order to be a human. The brainwashing didn't work on me, since I hate classes, labels, and any group restriction of any sort. That's why I just go with the flow on this matter, people consider me AB, even in real life, just because of how I act, dress, and behave so ... may as well use that term. Online I'm much more forward, the real me shows a lot more, dominant and blunt. In real life I'm still blunt, but quiet and submissive. The difference comes because of a habit I formed in real life of observing without altering other people's behavior, a survival technique of sorts. When I was young I was labeled a leader, I really don't like beig a leader, more instigator than leader. But being paraded around made to give speeches to church congregations and schools ... got old. I hated it early on. So I turned into a quiet person in real life, for some reason people just shut up whenever I talked and stopped thinking for themselves in real life, but online, people will counter what I say, it's great online. LOL

Do you believe in magic? I'm not talking Merlin, more like ESP. You sound like someone with a naturally "commanding" or "charismatic" personality, something I associate with higher-level auras. I am such myself...ever have another person for no reason known to you hand you their leash metaphorically speaking? We of dominant energy (because of psychological factors, often low self-esteem) often seek to be passive (I do myself in many cases), but we do so by dominating others into dominating us...

Personally, I am bi, and all those other labels are meaningless to me, too. I'm glad you enjoy being babied, if only because we have that in common, but "Adult Baby" is a term that is almost exclusively self applied and is thus highly subjective. I know much of my interest in such things comes from a desire to in some emotional senses regress to a previous point in my development, a "golden time" of infancy when love comes without care or responsibility. That is how I and many others define the term "Adult Baby," but as with most things there are big differences between one person's concept of what that is and another's. Oddly enough, I became aware of all of this because concepts surrounding diapers and infancy seemingly inexplicably caused sexual arousal from early adolescence, I am only now fully exploring the other, more purely emotional side.

So you could say I was a DL and am now an AB, but I suspect in truth I was always AB (at least in the sense of what that means to me) with incomplete understanding. I wonder how many are like me, and for similar reasons, but even more I wonder what all the variations on AB and DL have in common at the heart of the matter. Human psychology is not actually a science, because it is impossible to by experiment isolate variables in an individual's development except perhaps with a human guinea pig. We are all therefore complex bundles of psychological factors, and it is scientifically impossible to prove what is causing what absolutely. Psychologists must therefore work with likelihoods and observation of numerous individual cases to develop theories, and therefore so must we...They are very fond of labels in the profession of psychology, but I will point out to you what I would to them; giving a name to a phenomenon does not explain it. Look up "Borderline" in any psychology resource, and tell me you believe that label describes a single phenomenon. Nonetheless, some of the answers ARE there, if we discover how to view the matter just so...or dare to...

When we do find a causal scenario that fits, we KNOW when it's truth...often it's the idea we then fight against most of all. Happy reflecting, and keep those posts coming!

[sarah_ab]

no offense taken fozzy just wanted to point out i wasnt againts it at all ....

[Sir Stinkypants]

Wearing diapers as an older child was probably a necessity given my IBS and potty training struggles, so I am actual thankful that I was kept in diapers as long as I was by my Mom. The embarrassment of being in diapers was there, but the comfort, security and need for wearing them far exceeded the negative feelings. As for the nurturing needs, I remember going to daycare when I was 4 and 5 years old and feeling almost special because I was in diapers and treated with extra attention by the daycare ladies. I remember feeling very good about having my diapers checked and changed and getting that attention due to my diapers. I was treated like a toddler in some ways and yearned for that attention as I got older. Unfortunately, some of my later childhood diaper experiences overshadowed those times, when my Mom used diapers as a form of negative reinforcement when I had accidents as I got even older due to my IBS. I remember being diapered and kept home from school as a 3rd grader when my IBS flared up and my mom decided that a stint in diapers was in order. That was pretty humbling at the time. This caused some of my other darker feelings toward diapers. I feel like I have many layers to the psychological aspects of the need for diapers.

That last sentence is utterly profound, and probably true of all of us, mike indiapers.

Many of your experiences sound like they hurt a lot at the time, and of course the more so for a child without emotional maturity. It also sounds like there were many incidents where not only was the matter of your accidents and diapers distressing, painful, and in many cases humiliating (and beyond your control), you were at the same time denied any emotional support by your mother. Stuff like that leaves wounds on the soul that are very difficult to heal. Your interest in baby play makes a certain very logical sense to me considering your specific developmental story. I find that when we really figure something out about our own psychology it is always logical, and usually more simply so than we think. In fact, you could say that it is never really that we do not know the answers, they are our fears...

[mike indiapers]

Looking back, I remember feeling that my mom's decision to diaper me for accidents was the best option for me me and her at the time. She treated diapers as a necessary and precautionary means of dealing with my IBS and accompanying accidents - i.e. being in diapers took the pressure off of me and made it much easier on her to handle clean up. At least that is what she said, and as a kid I went along with it. I remember resisting having to go in them as I got older and she would tell me it was for my own good and that while diapered I would be reminded of what happens if I can't use the potty like a big kid. This made me feel babyish.

For some reason, my extended time in diapers as a 3rd grader really sticks in my mind and made a huge impact on me and my feelings towards diapers. I started to see diapers as a form of humiliation and control over me. I remember coming home from playing with an accident that I couldn't help because it came on too fast and I didn't make it home in time. My mom cleaned me up, but was very frustrated and disappointed. She made me sit in a tub of luke warm water while she prepared for what was to follow. After my bath, she lead me to my room where a stack of diapers and plastic pants were now visible on my dresser. She told me I would be wearing diapers again and proceeded to diaper me. I remember not wanting to wear them but feeling like it was my only option. I stayed in diapers for 4-5 days and during that time I remember not wanting to leave the house for fear that others would see me. I was very self conscious about my diapered status. I wanted to be 2 or 3 years old again, so that being in diapers would be normal for my age.

Being in and out of diapers was the norm for me and I grew attached to them over time. I tried not to bring attention to my diapers outside the home, but was very aware of when others knew or made comments to my mom about why someone my age was still wearing them. I made every attempt not to use my diapers in public and was generally successful with a few exceptions. At home I used them more frequently and got into the routine of having my diapers changed.

I think my mom was doing what she thought was best at the time. She didn't try to overtly embarrass me or wasn't mean beyond the frustration of dealing with a kid with IBS that had frequent accidents. Diapers were her way of addressing my condition until I learned how to read my body signals better and avoid accidents. Over time, I also learned to avoid foods that exasserbated my condition.

[Eir]

Okay, sometimes I feel that everyone on here knows my story but here it goes:

I have a condition called paruresis (shy bladder) It makes it very difficult or sometimes impossible for me to urinate in the presence of others. Until very recently, before last november I had severe paruresis. I was unable to urinate in public restrooms, and I was completely unable to do so, until I learned to slowly release against the porcelein of a public toilet sitting down without splashing. This took a long time and completely humiliated me in the process. Not to be sexist, but I felt like some sort of princess in a man's body. I did not believe that any man had a right to be so prissy. I felt like less than a man, because I had to sit down to urinate. Sometimes, I had to wait for the bathroom to clear out before I could go. I had problems also in single restrooms where I anticpated that someone else needed to use it. That alone, could prevent me from urinating! Bus, Airplane, Sporting Events, forget it! Even at friends house I had problems.

I read a book by Jake Rubin Called Urinate Now, which taught me the art of linking. Tying a cue counting from 5 to 1 with the ability to urinate, I started practicing at home. Then I noticed that I could urinate in toilet stalls. This got me most of the way, but not all. Urinals for the time being were impossibe. I now practice systemic relaxation, which LINKS a state of relaxation in a specific muscle group from me counting backwards from 12 to 1. I have been able to use urinals when others were present with this method, but busy restrooms are still impossible. Also, in places like a school or church restroom where I am likely to meet someone I know, I still have to stand in stalls.

My quest for a cure led me to becoming AB. I had already seen the Baby Ella documentary on Secret Lives Of Women, this was in the back of my mind. My current program, the Ultimate Paruresis Guide by Alexander Heinz has me doing the systemic relaxation, stressing and releasing my perineum. He also has me perform visualizations. I would be at my private toilet and visualize myself using a public urinal. Use the mind to desensitize fears. At first, I noticed that my visualizations were much more successful than my real life examples. This is how I became an adult baby: I began to visualize using a urinal while diapered! At this point counting backwards from 12 to 1 sent me rushing to the restroom. I needed a way to know if my visualizations were successful, if counting down could actually relax my body so much that I would be unable to "hold it." I thought that if I wore a diaper, I would be able to know immediately if I was right! Using diapers was a weird thought that crossed my mind. I may have dismissed it if I did not read a post on a mental health site that tackled paruresis. The post was written by a man in Norway who taught his brain that it was okay to void in the presence of others by using diapers. He first trained himself to use diapers at his home, then at night, then during the day. He reversed 70% of his shy bladder symptoms that way. He said he could use stalls unless there was something stressing outside. I combined using diapers with visualizations. It was not long before I realized that I enjoyed flooding diapers, and wearing soggy diapers! I began looking for a site where I could discuss my conditon and unique solution with others, that is how I found DD. I at first felt a bit quilty about wearing and using diapers. I thought it was wrong, maybe a bit sinful, that diapers were an idol to me and so on. My paranoid brain finally calmed down when I realized that others wore for fun, and I saw that they were relatively normal (no one is actually normal). Every now and then, I enjoy to have cribnights. I sleep on my airmattress covered by a spair shower curtain. I wear 3 powdered gauze prefolds to bed, tightly pinned, covered by plastic pants. I enjoy sleeping through the night and waking up in a soggy diaper, and drinking my wakeup baba in the morning, laying under my blankie, holding the baba with my hands under the blankie. (Wakeup baba is strong tea in sports bottle kept in icebox by air mattress) It was very difficult for me to be able to learn how to wet the bed. If I do not feel 100% secure, it will not happen. I have to be diapered, and I have to be sleeping in the "crib" I enjoy keeping my little side happy. I still have paruresis, but it is starting to bother me less. I am trying to get comfortable going with the stall slightly open. At least I am tacking this now, while I am young (26) and single. Most men who have this wait until their 50's and 60's according to my research, and they have even kept this a secret from their wives, and they are complete slaves to this. They never take their sons to baseball games, or put themselves in situations that are impossible for severe paruretics. Some of these men, have shy bladder SO BAD that they have to stick tubes up their penises (catheterize themselves) in order to urinate! That sounds incredibly painful!

Oh, and by the way, for those of you babies who want to learn how to wet your diapers while laying in bed, I strongly suggest purchassing Alexander Heinz's ebook. It is for paruretics. The mental block that makes it extremely difficult if not impossible for you to wet your diapers while laying down is extremely similar to what happens to paruretics. It turns out that the internal urethral sphincter is under the control of the subconscious mind. It is actually impossible for me to force myself to urinate, if I am in a stressful situation. If someone put a gun to my head and said pee or die, I would most likely die. There is a webiste at www.paruresis.org, it is the IPA (International Paruresis Association) website. It has a list of resources for people who have this condition. I also reccommed Bettypoohs topic on TENS experimentation. I followed this, and the first cribnite I woke up in a soggy diaper (WET THE CRIB!!!! ) I had used this. I used the TENS to numb the perineum. (When sleeping the internal sphincter is open when we need to urinate, the pernineum keeps us from wetting the bed). Before this, I had always wet in the "crib" but I have not actually wet the crib! I was ecstatic the first time I went to sleep dry and woke up in a soggy diaper!!! I mean no offense to those who are actually incontinent, But I really do enjoy crib nights and keeping my baby side happy!

To close I will say that I feel I would have become AB eventually. I had infantile desires as a child but repressed them. I had a serious crush on a babysitter, my mom and sister teased me for having a girlfriend at the dinner table, which I vehemently denied. I had a diarrhea accident at school due to a stomache bug from hell. I told the noon duty aid that I didn't make it, who was unfortunatly infront of a a medium crowd of students. My mom picked me up took me home, gave me an aveno bath, but before she said" DON"T EVEN TELL ME YOU POOPED YOUR PANTS, she was extremely embarrassed and frustrated I was sick for 2 weeks. I had many more accidents, but instead of helping me clean up, my mother slid a pair of underwear under the restroom door. Mama didn't want to raise no baby! I remember feeling that her reaction was cold and I missed the warm nurturing when she gave me the aveno bath the first time I messed my pants. My diarrhea accident at school, the warm nurturing bath and cold reversal, the crush on Miss Liz, my old babysitter stirred up some infantile feelings in me that I repressed. Once on my swingset my mother caught me and my cousins playing 'diaper babies' We sat on the swings, with the front and back of the swing between our legs. My mom walked out and said, so your're diaper babies, huh. I strongly denied it, so strongly that I denied it to myself and pushed the incedent along with my infantile feelings and put them aside.

[Sir Stinkypants]

Love this thread. Here's an excerpt from my "story" (my story of my life as a DL that I've been writing and editing for years) that pretty much gives you my thoughts on YOURS TRULY:

***

So how did I get into this? Honestly, I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t. My earliest memories are from when I was around three years old but even back then I remember a warm, happy, excited feeling (which years later would turn into arousal) whenever I was around diapers or other kids wearing them.

Hiya, Poopy_Dipes! I'm glad you like this thread, I am also really enjoying it. I've also been reading your posts throughout the forum, and I must say they are usually more interesting (at least to me) than most. You and I seem to have a fair bit of common ground when it comes to these matters

I, too, remember that curious warm sensation when pondering diapers and such prior to the age I was capable of arousal, too! It's funny, I hadn't thought about that in years, but I know just what you mean! Thanks for posting this!! Funny thing is I don't actually remember feeling that when exposed to more conventional erotic stimuli, only diapers and naughty things involving those bodily functions...interesting! Again, thanks for mentioning that!!

[babystevie]

I don't know why, but since I was a little boy I've always envied other people who were in diapers. I loved wearing plastic pants over my underwear and Mom used to catch me all the time. As I got older and found I could get diapers & plastic pants that fit me, I began wearing them more often. Now I have a HUGE collection of diapers & plastic pants and can't wait to wear them when bABy time comes along. Guess I'm just hooked on being an Adult Baby!