Relationships And Diapers

[happydprdcouple]

My wife and I are wanting to give guidance and support to anyone in a relationship that are having trouble discussing or being accepted by their spouse for wanting to or having the desire to wear diapers! I have been into diapers my whole life, and consider myself very lucky that I married such a wonderful supportive person! My wife has taken the time and effort to try and understand why I am the way I am! She totally accepts me! Until I met her it wasn't that way! I know how lonely it can be to have this secret! I had an ex that told many of my friends and family and it almost destroyed me! I'm hoping through some of my experiences and research that my wife and I may be able to give some advice and support to those that are having a difficult time! Please message me with any questions!! Thx!

[LilFozzyJ5]

I told mine two yrs into the marriage, i couldnt tell her sooner as i didnt know what it was called until i found out myself. Up to that point i just thought i was some sick wierdo freak, and if i told a soul they would lock me up.

lets just say that it didnt go down well and now 12 yrs later it still isnt discussed.

[curiositykilledthecat]

i may just be the single, cynical and jaded one of the bunch, however, you xannot hide soemthing like this from a spouse and spring it on them later in the marraige and expect a positive reaction. some may be cool with it, many unfortunately wont, as they will feel as if you broke their grust.

[dljim95]

My wife was told from the start and is and was very understanding, she even makes some of my cloth diapers. You have to be up front with your SO t make it work in imho.

[tcc]

I would be interested in seeing the advice you propose to impart in this forum, rather than by private message. There have been threads after threads in just this regard - a SO and one's own diaper side/life/world.

I am in full agreement with Jim and Curiosity. You simply do NOT drop your DL or AB "thing" into the lap of someone AFTER time and emotion has been devoted to a relationship. And, it allows the other person to walk away if they need to or feel they have to with the revelation made to them. That is only fair. My blog entries can add some insight coming from an "old guy", long-time DL and three times married, now, the third time, happily...

[Rani]

When a person has only recently rediscovered this side of themselves then they may well spring it on the other half somewhat later in a relationship. I've been married for nearly eighteen years and have just found out that I like to wear. Sometimes you're so wrapped up in putting 100% into your family that you put your own needs back, so that it's later in life that you figure out what you really like yourself.

Not too sure if I could tell my hubby just yet when I still struggle with the whole concept myself. How can I explain it to him when I don't know why I like them so much and why I'm like I am? All I can do is to come to terms with it in my own time and then maybe share my thoughts with him. It's not a problem for me, it'll just take time and maybe then I still won't reveal all.

It's good to know there's someone we can turn to if we feel there's a need and I thank you for that.

[sarah_ab]

I would be interested in hearing this advice, as i'm sure many people would... and would encourage you to post it on the main forum.

Many people have had success and failure in telling their SO and all were done in different ways...

I also would suggest putting some information up in your profile, as you have just joined this site. Some people may not want advice from a member who in all appearances is brand spanking new...

also post on the boards and get to know people, some people want advice, but want to know the person before getting it!

Welcome to the baords!

[oliver d]

Good idea,I only really told my wife the whole truth after 17yrs of marriage and yes it can work out for the good of both sides.

[nhdl]

I told my g/f a year ago. We were together 5 years before I told her. I didn't tell her everything. Just that I like wearing diapers. She doesn't know that I am on here or anywhere else. She doesn't like that I wear diapers but deals with it. Wesring a diaper doesn't change who I am as a person. A diaper is just a different type of underwear. Underwear that has a function. I was able to come out to my g/f by coming here and reading other peoples' stories and asking questions and recieving advice. I want to thank all that helped me come out and thank DD for creating this site.

[Markley]

It's easy to say that wearing diapers doesnt change who you are, but when your SO founds out... It does change who you are in their mind.

Before I came out to my SO, in her mind, I was this hardened manly guy who worked on cars, sexy, funny, etc... The moment she pictured me in a diaper, all she seen then was something else... Something she tried so hard to over look.

To find out that her "man" was a diaper wearing weirdo, it has been a rough road since. She denies that her finding out about my "issue" caused her to think differently about me, but I'm quite sure it had everything to do with her losing interest in me...

... Before I knew it, we grew very distant... She didnt find my sexually attractive anymore, so much so that sex has been void for nearly 9 months, and to make matters worse, another guy eventually got into the picture, and he met everything she was look for in a man...

things have been a trainwreck for myself. I have questioned who I am as a man... I have become so paranoid, my self confidence is shot...

The only time it seems to be normal is when I'm on this forum where everyone's got themselves fooled into thinking that everyone else just needs educated and everything will be fine.

I doubt there will ever be a greener side to this DL hill. Not when society continues to look at a healthy grown adult in diapers and relates it to being a weakminded wannabe baby, a pedo, or just plan and simple, mentally sick.

I hate it that for me to keep people from thinking any different of me, I have to hid the part of me that screams for attention. Of course, to me nothing did change who I am... Not when I have been a DL most of my life. That doesn't mean shit to normal people. I come out and say anything about how I feel about diapers, and my whole identity becomes a whole different person.

[happydprdcouple]

It's easy to say that wearing diapers doesnt change who you are, but when your SO founds out... It does change who you are in their mind.

Before I came out to my SO, in her mind, I was this hardened manly guy who worked on cars, sexy, funny, etc... The moment she pictured me in a diaper, all she seen then was something else... Something she tried so hard to over look.

To find out that her "man" was a diaper wearing weirdo, it has been a rough road since. She denies that her finding out about my "issue" caused her to think differently about me, but I'm quite sure it had everything to do with her losing interest in me...

... Before I knew it, we grew very distant... She didnt find my sexually attractive anymore, so much so that sex has been void for nearly 9 months, and to make matters worse, another guy eventually got into the picture, and he met everything she was look for in a man...

things have been a trainwreck for myself. I have questioned who I am as a man... I have become so paranoid, my self confidence is shot...

The only time it seems to be normal is when I'm on this forum where everyone's got themselves fooled into thinking that everyone else just needs educated and everything will be fine.

I doubt there will ever be a greener side to this DL hill. Not when society continues to look at a healthy grown adult in diapers and relates it to being a weakminded wannabe baby, a pedo, or just plan and simple, mentally sick.

I hate it that for me to keep people from thinking any different of me, I have to hid the part of me that screams for attention. Of course, to me nothing did change who I am... Not when I have been a DL most of my life. That doesn't mean shit to normal people. I come out and say anything about how I feel about diapers, and my whole identity becomes a whole different person.

Toddler

I totally understand where u are coming from. I know my wife responded to you directly, and I hope she gave u some hope. I dated a girl years ago and told her about wearing diapers. She was very understanding at first, but as the relationship started falling apart she became very resentful of me and the "diapers". She ended up telling many of my good friends and family. It destroyed me! I also questioned myself!! I felt weak and wierd!! I was scared to get into another serious relationship becuase I never wanted to hurt that way again. I too consider myself manly. I ride Harleys played football, baseball and many other sports. I guess u could say Im a guys "guy"!! Most people would never imagine that I would wear a diaper to bed everynight. I struggled with this for a long time. Then something cool happened. Those friends that she told really didnt care it didnt effect our friendship at all. It is never even mentioned. I also met the most amazing woman in the world! Actually we met in 4th grade, but we reconnected 2 years ago and were married last may. She sees and appriciates my good qualities and makes me stronger in my weaknesses. I am very balanced and would never let diapers control my life, and my wife knows this. She has taken this as an opportunity to make something that could be a negative into a positive. I have found through my own experiences that the people that have a problem with with this usually have their own issues! I am more man than most men that dont wear diapers. I support my wife and children in everyway. I provide physical, emotional, and finacial security for her, and love her unconditionally. You have to be a "man" to do that. Im very sorry for your pain! I pray you find peace and acceptance for urself. Keep ur life balanced and you will be fine. Feel free to contact us anytime! Good luck!!

[Markley]

Toddler

I totally understand where u are coming from. I know my wife responded to you directly, and I hope she gave u some hope. I dated a girl years ago and told her about wearing diapers. She was very understanding at first, but as the relationship started falling apart she became very resentful of me and the "diapers". She ended up telling many of my good friends and family. It destroyed me! I also questioned myself!! I felt weak and wierd!! I was scared to get into another serious relationship becuase I never wanted to hurt that way again. I too consider myself manly. I ride Harleys played football, baseball and many other sports. I guess u could say Im a guys "guy"!! Most people would never imagine that I would wear a diaper to bed everynight. I struggled with this for a long time. Then something cool happened. Those friends that she told really didnt care it didnt effect our friendship at all. It is never even mentioned. I also met the most amazing woman in the world! Actually we met in 4th grade, but we reconnected 2 years ago and were married last may. She sees and appriciates my good qualities and makes me stronger in my weaknesses. I am very balanced and would never let diapers control my life, and my wife knows this. She has taken this as an opportunity to make something that could be a negative into a positive. I have found through my own experiences that the people that have a problem with with this usually have their own issues! I am more man than most men that dont wear diapers. I support my wife and children in everyway. I provide physical, emotional, and finacial security for her, and love her unconditionally. You have to be a "man" to do that. Im very sorry for your pain! I pray you find peace and acceptance for urself. Keep ur life balanced and you will be fine. Feel free to contact us anytime! Good luck!!

Heh... I really wish they would change that little title... I dont really want to be labeled as a child, even it is just part of the forum's setup...

I thank you for your willingness to help talk about what I go through. Maybe one day I will work of the nerve to have a nice one-on-one chat with a few of you guys, but I have to admit... I'm lacking a tad in the open mind department...

[Diapered Jason]

Toddler

I totally understand where u are coming from. I know my wife responded to you directly, and I hope she gave u some hope. I dated a girl years ago and told her about wearing diapers. She was very understanding at first, but as the relationship started falling apart she became very resentful of me and the "diapers". She ended up telling many of my good friends and family. It destroyed me! I also questioned myself!! I felt weak and wierd!! I was scared to get into another serious relationship becuase I never wanted to hurt that way again. I too consider myself manly. I ride Harleys played football, baseball and many other sports. I guess u could say Im a guys "guy"!! Most people would never imagine that I would wear a diaper to bed everynight. I struggled with this for a long time. Then something cool happened. Those friends that she told really didnt care it didnt effect our friendship at all. It is never even mentioned. I also met the most amazing woman in the world! Actually we met in 4th grade, but we reconnected 2 years ago and were married last may. She sees and appriciates my good qualities and makes me stronger in my weaknesses. I am very balanced and would never let diapers control my life, and my wife knows this. She has taken this as an opportunity to make something that could be a negative into a positive. I have found through my own experiences that the people that have a problem with with this usually have their own issues! I am more man than most men that dont wear diapers. I support my wife and children in everyway. I provide physical, emotional, and finacial security for her, and love her unconditionally. You have to be a "man" to do that. Im very sorry for your pain! I pray you find peace and acceptance for urself. Keep ur life balanced and you will be fine. Feel free to contact us anytime! Good luck!!

Sounds like you got your confidence back and you are doing quite well now.

To be honest, if I had a girl friend that went around telling everyone I knew about my fetishes in an attempt to ruin me, I don't know how I would react. I'll just say hearing your account pierced my heart and made me groan with anger.

[LilFozzyJ5]

:(Markley!

I really feel for ya mate, I know how you feel, how your SO suddenly looks at you totally different, mine is still here and i wonder sometimes why the hell she is still with a freak like me. But as recent as last night i was reminder by her how she thinks of me differently now she knows i like nappies...

to those that answered after my post, that you shouldnt tell a SO yrs after a serious relationship, its not fair, and you should have told them sooner. I say to you!

What if you have no idea what it is to tell her, what if all that time you were afraid that if a single person found out you would be hunted down or something. What if you had never heard of an ab or a dl or infantilism! if you have no idea what it is and you have the same thoughts about your own desires as the rest of the world seems to initially think? are you really going to tell someone you love with the fear they will not only leave you but will also tell people (Of which there is a lot of people on here with exactly that tale).

Then say 2 to 4 yrs into the relationship you have an amazing moment when through a freak link you find some article on all of this, then your first response is to tell the one preson you trust in the whole world, hoping for at least some understanding....and within a day of you knowing what it is you tell them...the one thing you have hidden from the entire world!

Its easy to say you should have told a SO sooner, when you are already armed with the facts and have already found the terms and the community online... if you havent got all that and you have only got your own thought processes its a completely different end game.

it seems so easy to judge others and take some form of moral high ground before actually taking the time to put yourself in their position and see how overwhelming it is and difficult to make all the right choices.

[LilFozzyJ5]

As an additional lil bit... its been ten yrs since i told her, and only last night did the subject even get skirted around, and it still was not a comfortable subject... i fear it never will be, so i dont have much chance to explore this part of me that i have had for so long.

however it is a small price to pay for her love.

[JustADL]

I have gotta say this is a great thread. Some great advice on here. For me though. The DL in me was repressed for most my life. I do remember being 12 and making up some stupid game where my friends and I put on a play. It was all an elaborate plan so I could wear a diaper. So it's always been there. It only resurfaced when I came across some pictures of diaper girls. My wife caught me looking at them. And that's how she found out. But that was 6 years ago. And I only recently told her I like wearing diapers.

I know YES you shouldn't string along a partner with a deep secret and then throw it at them years after when you are in a long committed relationship. But for some of us it just happens that way.

Anyways. My 2 cents. For what it's worth. But please keep the advice rolling. I could use all the help I can get

[lilJester]

at least BOTH of you are looking for support in this. All I know is whenever I admit everything to a lover, they always turn tail and run. Not that I mind being looked at like a freak, but thats when I do things in a freak show setting.... having your love do that just tears your heart to shreds.

[BriGuy]

The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself. Tell them early, and tell them decisively. Learn to be comfortable with this part of who you are and share it as something that makes you different in a positive light. Ever since I took those steps after my divorce dating has been much easier for me. It also helps if you search out a kinky girl/guy.

[kadillac]

Really funny story. We do chastity and many other kinks, but I was actually quite nervous over the diaper fetish. So, last night, we were talking over texts (I go to college, and she will be coming up in the Fall), and I've been dating for 3 years with her and I finally asked her what she thought that I liked to wear diapers. She was apprehensive, then I got "Would you mind wearing only a diaper while we pretend to breastfeed, or breastfeed in the future?", followed by "I really want to try to wear one," then "I really want a pacifier," followed by a picture of her sucking her thumb, then "I want a bottle, too. You to feed me and treat me like your baby." Then it continued into me asking her about what diapers she wanted, "Cute ones! ", so I sent her pics of Bambino and Cushies, and got that she liked the Bambino Classicos and the Cushies! I have a keeper! All day today we've been playing like she was a baby! Haha. I am sooooo happy. It can work, if your girlfriend is already kinky, she'll probably like it! Or maybe she has a secret AB/DL fetish hidden, like mine!