Is This Just A Good Time, Or Does It Ever Stop?

[Snuffy]

I had always known that diapers turned me on, ever since I was little. As an adult I have freely been able to act on these desires, but it seems like these desires keep leading me further into this and I dont know that I am willing to follow... all the way.

Let me try to clear that up. When I first started this I had no desire to actually be treated like a baby, I just liked wearing diapers and wetting them... it was a blast, but it is like the feeling or state that I am after keeps drifting further and further away... next came bottles, or binkies... now a bit of roleplay with my wife. It seems that every step I take the feeling seems to take one step further back, and while I am not knocking anyone's choice as to how they want to live their life... doing the full-time baby thing or even fully regressing is just not something that I want to do and more importantly it is not something I want to put my wife through, but it seems that this is where that feeling that used to be so easy to attain, is now residing.

I said all of that to ask this, has anyone else experienced a constant push for more with this fetish? After a lot of thought regarding this it seems that... in me atleast, this diaper fetish is showing the signs of an addiction, never satisfied, always asking for more before it grants that state of bliss. It is nowhere near dominating my life, its a few times a week thing at most, the frequency is not what scares me. It is the constant need for more.

Anyone else out there feeling or felt a bit like this?

EDIT

This probably should have gone in general if any mods are willing to move it.

[Pipsqueak]

I can only tell you from my personal perspective, that it waxes and wanes in its intensity. Sometimes it demands almost my entire attention and other times I don't think about it for months on end. You can look on the full-time baby thing as a harmless fantasy to occasionally entertain yourself. Most people eventually come to the conclusion that the fantasy is far better than the reality.

As for the progression from dl to ab, that is more common then you might think. Many of us start out believing we are entirely dl and slowly find ourselves gravitating to ab. The reason for this is probably because, for a long time, we can't quite bring ourselves to admit that the baby part is something we want. Somehow it seems slightly less weird to just be dl. I was probably in my mid-thirties before I finally admitted to myself that I was an ab. The one thing I can say for certain is that once you finally accept what you are and realize that it's okay and it doesn't hurt anyone, and you're not some complete nutcase, you find that you have more control of it. It's harmless, it relieves the stress (which often precipitates it), and it's fun. If you find yourself completely avoiding life and cocooning yourself in this ab/dl persona to the exclusion of all else, you most likely have something else going on in your life. If you deal head on with the stressors in your life, than the demanding ab side will ease off too.

Good luck.

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Hi Snuffy, the first thing I noticed was that your "Diaper Status" on your profile says "Just Curious". You may want to change that to "Diaper Lover" or "Adult Baby" as I think it's a more accurate fit for you from what I've just read. Just a recommendation.

I think everyone in the AB/DL community has experienced or continues to experience what you are going through. Through my research about infantilism and related subjects, what you are going through is very normal to all who share this lifestyle. The more you indulge in this activity the further you want to go or regress. Some compare it to a drug addiction, you need more and more as your body builds up a tolerance to the drug. The way it works with infantilism is that the more you indulge the more you are desensitized; hence, you need to further regress to reach the desired level for which you are seeking.

Although it's not the same for everyone, as there are many reasons for wearing diapers, a lot of DLs also experience very babyish feelings from time to time. Like Pipsqueak said above, some DLs, for whatever reason, be it a level of acceptance for them or just not convenient or realistic have just not made the transition to AB. Regardless of what we may think personally, ABs and DLs are very closely related, they are virtually inseparable, that's why our community is referred to, and accepted by most, as the AB/DL community.

It sounds like you are trying to find balance in your life with this lifestyle. You have looked down the road to where this lifestyle is leading you, and that's good, because you need to have balance to maintain a relatively normal life. In other words, you see becoming a full-time AB down the road as unrealistic and it is clear that that is not your ultimate goal. From what I've read, it is unrealistic, but there are some who have ventured to that level with an acceptable degree of success. However, most of them give it up after just a couple of months to a few years, as it's a very, very hard thing to maintain. I personally believe it's a constant struggle to separate our real life from our fantasy life, especially for those of us who maintain this particular lifestyle in virtual secrecy. The best advice I can give you after all this, is to establish clear ground rules with your spouse as to where to draw the lines. Keep it fun, make sure you both are getting something out of it, and don't let it consume your real life. Good Luck!

[jessm5]

Same way here too. I remember when I first started wearing diapers, I didn't even want the decorative panels that come on baby diapers. Now, I look for the most babyish style of adult diapers I can find.

When thinking about how far is too far, I would draw the line when your love for diapers and being an adult baby starts to interfere with your relationships, work, etc. As long as you're not jeopardizing these things, don't worry too much about it.

Like others have said, it goes through cycles. (I'm probably on a down swing right now, which is fine with me)

[Three Rivers]

As stated before the feelings go back and forth, I'm a DL but I enjoy role play as a baby with my wife . I enjoy being changed by my mommy (wife) but it's not a regular thing she does. I do enjoy the feeling of a wet diaper the most. But often have feelings of wanting a mommy to take care of me (change, feed, wash ect.)

I think all diaper lovers start out on that path, but sooner or later start to have feelings of baby role play.

[SoCalGav]

Does it ever stop? It stops when you chose to stop it. You used the word addiction. Its a scary word, but Dr. Drew Pinsky says that addiction is the leading mental health problem facing America today, we always tend to associate the word with drug use, but if you really study addiction almost every person alive is addicted to something.

One night I was chatting online and a person was asking me the normal first time conversation battery of questions. eg. "what kind do you wear" "asl?" "wet or mess?" ect. and finaly they asked "How often do you use?" What struck me was the word USE. You normaly get asked, "How often do you WEAR?" but this person said "use". "Use" is a word that addicts use. And I came to realize this is an addiction, it alters my everyday normal thoughts, it changes my way of thinking, it changes my behavior, it takes up money. I hope some other people reading this can relate to what I'm saying, and even feel convicted. Seriously just do some research on sexual addiction, if you dare. Some people claim "its not a sexual thing" or "its a comfort thing", well thats fine but it doesn't make you any less addicted. I challenge every person to try to go a week without thinking about anything ab/dl related, nay a day! Maybe just make a mental not of how many times a day you think about it even. My personal results were alarming.

I finaly joined a sexual addiction recovery group and found others like myself. I have never been happier, and I have found TRUE ballance in my life. I no longer feel the need to scour the net looking for girls into ab/dl, I no longer feel the need always have diapers, I wear much less often if ever, I realize that my desires can be acted out in a healthy way with a partner who truely loves me, not some other ab/dl just looking for a self satisfying experience.

The shame is gone, the guilt is gone, the pain is gone. I am happy.

PS. I am open to criticism, comments, advice, giving advice. I know that not everyone will agree, and not everyone will be able to relate, this is just my 2 cents, I found what worked for me.

[Rhezz]

SoCalGav...very nice chart.

Well yes i know what you mean. If i learned one thing, its if you get something good, you only want more by default.

Greed is human nature, we are humans.

[Vic]

SoCalGav...very nice chart.

Well yes i know what you mean. If i learned one thing, its if you get something good, you only want more by default.

Greed is human nature, we are humans.

I first realized I wanted to be in diapers at a very young age. In fact it was the earliest memory I have. This has been at the core of my being my entire life. I've gone years without wearing them "useing", but there just below the surface was my diaper self, "user".

It was when I accepted myself and my lifestyle that I came to feel peace in my life. If that don't suit ya, tuff noogies.

[Dill_Pickle]

I finaly joined a sexual addiction recovery group and found others like myself. I have never been happier, and I have found TRUE ballance in my life. I no longer feel the need to scour the net looking for girls into ab/dl, I no longer feel the need always have diapers, I wear much less often if ever, I realize that my desires can be acted out in a healthy way with a partner who truely loves me, not some other ab/dl just looking for a self satisfying experience.

Upon realizing the normality of this prediliction, I think most of us lose the shame and the guilt. But that doesn't mean I'm not curious: What does a sexual addiction recovery group have people do to help them break the cycle?

Dill Pickle

[SoCalGav]

I first realized I wanted to be in diapers at a very young age. In fact it was the earliest memory I have. This has been at the core of my being my entire life. I've gone years without wearing them "useing", but there just below the surface was my diaper self, "user".

It was when I accepted myself and my lifestyle that I came to feel peace in my life. If that don't suit ya, tuff noogies.

If liking diapers is at the core of your being, that is pretty sad... sorry to say. Not trying to be insulting, but we aren't defined by our sexuality.

And the addiction recovery group was based losely on AA, we had a 12 step method, and I had a sponsor ect. There wasn't anyone like forcing me to do anything, we just shared with eachother what we struggled with and talked alot, it really put things in perspective. If this thing was merely "Predilection" to me I wouldn't have joined a recovery group, I was showing signs of addiction, so I did what I needed to do.

[Snuffy]

It sounds like I am pretty close to the same place you were before you went to the group SoCal, and I will definitely look into your course of action.

I first realized I wanted to be in diapers at a very young age. In fact it was the earliest memory I have. This has been at the core of my being my entire life. I've gone years without wearing them "useing", but there just below the surface was my diaper self, "user".

It was when I accepted myself and my lifestyle that I came to feel peace in my life. If that don't suit ya, tuff noogies.

I relate to you a lot as well Vic, not to pick on you but that feeling that this desire has been "at the core" or that of all the things I would choose to define myself by, for some reason I would choose diapers, that in my mind mandated some serious investigation. I also remember this going way way back... which most likely applies to the vast majority of us in this community for pretty obvious reasons. It was my first memory as well. In my childhood I am sure I had a lot of amazing experiences, some traumatic ones, but why would my mind choose a longing for diapers to be the first permanent impression in my mind. This choice was made at an age where I didnt have a lot of say in what I felt and today if I felt like this fetish was something that I am actively choosing, then I dont think I would have any hang-ups about it. It isnt the "acceptance" point I am struggling with here. I know a lot of you may see red flags going up all over my post that I have not accepted this about myself, but for the most part I have. What I am unwilling to accept is the amount of control this fetish would or could have over my life if I were to allow it. That is when the signals go off in my head. For me anyway, I think I am starting to see this for what it is and I prefer to manage this as opposed to giving in to it. Thats not to say I will be permanently shelving the diapers by any means, just trying to create a balance. So thanks for the advice, especially SoCal.

[wetvinyl]

.... has anyone else experienced a constant push for more with this fetish? After a lot of thought regarding this it seems that... in me atleast, this diaper fetish is showing the signs of an addiction, never satisfied, always asking for more before it grants that state of bliss. It is nowhere near dominating my life, its a few times a week thing at most, the frequency is not what scares me. It is the constant need for more.

I think the line between "fetish" and "addiction" is defined by how it affects the other aspects of your life. You can play without inhibition in this DL lifestyle, as much and often as you want... but it isn't so much a question of "does this ever stop", but "what else is this taking my attention away from?"

In other words, is it adversely affecting your relationship with your wife? Your family? Your social life? Your work? Are you spending too much money on it?

Like I said-- by all means, revel in this; it's great fun, and you can take it as far as you want. But being that it's just part of your whole day-to-day life, I think honestly asking these questions of yourself will help give you some idea of how far you want to go, and how much is too much.

just my .02

wv

[SoCalGav]

Also remember... Those things we fantasize about, and the pictures we see aren't real, and probably couldn't ever be real in the way we imagine them. Anyone who has tried to make them real knows what I mean. The closest I've presonaly got to manifesting my fantasies is having a girlfriend who accepts my desires, and even participates now an then. This is the most I am going to hope for, and I CHOSE to be satisfied with that untill marriage comes along.

There are a lucky few who come pretty close to totaly fulfilling the fantasy, they meet another person who shares a similar fantasy and they can have some fun, but even if you ask them, its not like the fetish ends or goes away. The best stories I've heard though are stories that happen within the context of a marriage or similar long term relationship. There is nothing like sharing a special intimate side of yourself with a person who is totaly in love with you, rather than somebody selfish just looking to have some fun.

PS sorry for taking so long to reply!