Fearing 'Addiction' To Diaper Fetishism

[ForbiddenFruit]

When I first discovered that I liked diapers and experimented with them, I felt upset a little but managed to get past the 'denial' stage pretty quickly, since then I haven't had a problem with myself liking them, I've embraced it.

However, lately I've been thinking.

Thing is, since this part of me has been 'activated', sometimes I fear it won't go away. None of the other fantasies I've had pervade my thoughts during the daytime like diapers do. I haven't tried alternatives to experiment with other fetishes like I have with diapers. I didn't fantasise about doing these things when I moved away, but I'm trying to plan how I can try wetting and messing diapers, trying to track down PO Boxes in Galway, and stuff.

I've wrote next to no erotica outside of diapers, and now I have 3 different story ideas on the go, all revolving around diapers. I've taken to sleeping with a stuffed tiger (been caught more than once) and sucking my thumb. I find myself looking for diaper videos more often than 'normal' porn. I never thought about why I liked larger girls, or blondes, or blue eyes, but I keep trying to find reasons why I like diapers, and thinking of things I've done in the past that suggested it.

I'm scared. I fear that this is getting to me more than I should let it, regardless of how much I like it. I'm afraid that it's going to have such an impact on me that I won't be able to stand a long-term relationship where my partner doesn't participate - I don't want that, I don't want it to sully my chances with girls, to cut off opportunities because I'll always be seeking an ABDL girl or mommy. I don't want this to control me, I have to control IT, but I'm scared I can't.

I mean...does this happen to EVERYONE when they discover their main 'thing'? Does it happen more often to ABDLs, particularly ABs since it's closer to a lifestyle and DL is more or less a clothing fetish? Or is it just me? Am I just weak? A slave to what I desire?

I don't know. I just don't know. Sometimes I wish I didn't know I liked this, even though it gives me so much pleasure.

It pains me to have two threads on the first page here, but I'm just so frustrated.

[Kari]

Don't be scared.

This is a concern of mine too.

I think some people take AB/DL too far.

How far is that?

It's if it's disrupting the rest of their life.

I say that confidently, because I am an addictive personality.

Sometimes I either "hoard" too many diapers. (doing that now)

Or I am too open and relaxed about my lifestyle when others don't want to know.

Anything enjoyable or comfortable can become addictive.

The fact that you are aware of it is good!

You want it to be a part of your life, but not your whole life.

[tcc]

If diapers control you, it is a problem.

If you control diapers - no matter to what degree you enjoy them or find pleasure with them, OR guilt, self-loathing, binging & purging - virtually all the sensations diaper fetishists, AB or DL experience - it's not a problem.

If your life cannot go on without diapers, it's a problem.

If you life goes on, but diapers are in your thoughts some of the time or all of the time, it may be a phase, but it's not a problem.

You are young and finding your way in many ways. Having discovered a fetishism at this point isn't necessarily a bad thing, but may be a healthy part of your growing process. Don't obsess at your obsession. Ride it out. If you can't, then it IS a problem, and you might seek some professional help, at least for the obsessive part of your personality. Personally, I think most people can handle their quirks as they get to know them, to the degree that they have them and have to deal with them, and then grow comfortable with them and how to deal with them in scope of others and the rest of their lives. The relationship thing is a little trickier, but definitely IS doable. Private message me if you want more discussion on that.

You'll be fine, I suspect. Good luck...

[Diapered Jason]

There is no doubt you will need to find a balance, but we are all slaves to our urges. This conundrum not only occurs in the ABDL realm but in the BDSM realm as well and probably just about any other sexual act. In fact, I worry about the people who do not have this conundrum, because I think everybody has their 'thing' as an outlet for release. Like you said though, there is more to life than that 'thing'. Obviously, if any girlfriend does not accept this part of you, then the relationship will not work, but if they were that close-minded to begin with, the relationship may not have worked anyway. My point is do not let yourself think this fetish/lifestyle will limit your chances with the ladies, because it will not.

[Bettypooh]

From here....

I have noticed that for most of us this is something that doesn't go away, so that leaves you with deciding how much of your life this will take Like with anything 'new' to us, in the beginning we just can't get enough of it We try every aspect of it to see of there's something better As time passes we find the parts which we like the most, then we figure out how to deal with them How long does this process take? Who can say! For me it was about a year from first acceptance to my present day balance of things. I did go through several years of not accepting this- in those times this was like binge-and-purge though I didn't actually purge; I just stopped till the next time In the beginning this can seem- and even be- overwhelming and that will make you worry. Some of us who are bolder will 'push the limits' and do things which in hindsight are stupid, but we usually survive that just fine I suggest that when you find yourself 'pushing' too hard, just wait awhile; set a time in the future when you allow yourself to go ahead if you still want to If the urge fades you didn't do anything that could have been a problem- if you go ahead you'll have more time to prepare for the details your earlier mad rush overlooked. Either is a win In time you'll find things settling down to a level you can live with. That doesn't mean you'll have all you want, it just means that you won't be surprised by your desires anymore. You will see them coming and have time to plan Eventually this will find it's own place where you can live with it's effects on you and life will go on.

Bettypooh

[AndB]

I think you're overthinking it, which is actually the problem. In my experience, ABDL-ism can be more like an OCD sort of thing than an addiction.

You think about diapers all of the time, and in some cases you can even feel worried that you'll wet yourself and therefore need the protection. You can't rationally explain it, but you feel uneasy without them.

The question is what do you with that information? Many try 24/7 for a while. Sometimes that works and sometimes it doesn't (it's not for everybody, and some need the experience to discover that). The important thing is that you start from an attitude of "This is me. I accept who I am." What you do is a choice, but how you feel is not.

[Diapered Jason]

Something interesting I forgot to mention that might help you find that balance is I tend to think less about diapers when I am busy. Last week, I only wore diapers once. With the dawning of the first sunny days of spring here in western Washington, the yard work has begun, and there is much to be done. Before we were hit with no stop rain for weeks, so naturally the yard is a mess. Despite how busy I was, I had plenty of opportunities to wear diapers, but it did not even cross my mind. This was also the case when I was studying for finals back when I was in college. Perhaps it is best not to have an idle mind. If you think about diapers all the time, maybe this can help you.

I think it is important to note my attraction towards diapers has always been that of a sexual nature. I do not look towards diapers for comfort. Possibly, your perspective on ABDLism can have an effect on how much you think about diapers, but maybe not. No matter what I do though, the urge to wears diapers will always eventually catch up with me like blood to a vampire.

[AlliR]

Bettypooh says it best. And I do recall agreeing with her on other posts as well. We seem to be on the same page often.

In my opinion and observations over decades, this IS a fetish and it doesn't go away. To some degree you can control it so you don't do things you regret later but at the same time, if you think there is some magic switch somewhere, I think your kidding yourself. So many people who were worried to the point that they threw away all their fetish gear assumed that once it was gone, so was the problem. In every single case, they wound up buying all that stuff back all over again.

That tells you how strong the urge (addiction) is. Most folks who are hooked up to sites like this have similar situations.

The best advise I can give is to face it head on and not make believe it doesn't exist. That only makes it worse.

If you think you can mind control it and make it go away, all the power to you but test those waters carefully and self analyze what your feelings are saying. Listen and pay attention to your desires. They are quite strong and motivating.

As for relationships which include infantilism, they make it difficult. Sometimes impossible. Just another part of reality.

Bottom Line: Wherever you come out on this, try to accept what and who you REALLY are. That makes living with yourself tolerable.

Alli