Public

[Guest HelloMiakoda]

There is always discussion of what disgusting, inappropriate, bothering the public ABs do to the community's image.

I'm extremely open with being an AB. However, if I'm walking around Target with a pacifier in my mouth, I look neat, clean, presentable, and hopefully cute.

I might waltz in to a restroom openly carrying my clean diaper to change in to, but the old one is properly disposed of, and I make sure I'm fresh and clean smelling when I leave.

No bonnet, no "I'm a Baby" t-shirt, you can probably figure out I'm diapered if you look for it, but I'm not wearing a 2-inch skirt through Toys R Us. (I'm also incontinent and don't feel I should have to dress any differently than continent girls)

What does the community think of the non-gross and not-over-the-top ABs in public?

I'm just being myself.

I might have asked some time before, but if I did, I really don't remember what people answered.

[D_Rainger]

A person I respect very much once said "the kind thing is the right thing."

-DR

[lilannie]

I think that is going too far.

What prohibits you from putting your clean diaper into a bag? Why does it HAVE to be out in the open, which gives other people an exact idea of what you're doing? (Which is unnecessary).

Most grown adults do not think other grown adults with pacifiers in their mouths are cute. They think they are either severely handicapped or severely weird. Coupled with you waltzing into the bathroom with a diaper in your hand, it goes into the weird category.

Why must people do things like this in public at all?

[babystevie]

I agree. I wear diapers out all the time. But always dressed appropriately. The world doesn't need to know I'm in diapers. Or why for that matter...

[Little-Daddy-Toa]

I personally am open about my ABism as well though i don't look good enough to do what you say. But personally i wouldn't mind it if a gimp can walk into walmart why can't a AB do it too?

[willnotwill]

I've often carried a diaper bag into the public restroom for changes. Sometimes I just stick it in my coat pocket or carry it openly. It's no big thing. I can tell you that in all the times I've had this happen, I think I've only twice had people take notice. One time when going into get the key at a service station the clerk said "That's a big diaper." Too bad I didn't have a "I'm a big baby" comeback or something, I just said something non committal like uh huh. Another time while heading to the rest room at Dennys late at night I went past some drunk girls who said Hey that's a diaper.

[babystevie]

I'd have said Yup, its a diaper. So what? I happen to like wearing diapers...

[LuvsGurl]

In my experiences the general public is so absorbed in their own little world that they don't pay a bit of attention to other people or their surroundings.

When diapered in public I generally try to appear as normal as the rest of the sheep. I'm not out to get attention, however you could probably spot my diaper if you knew what to look for.

Personally, the "ABDL only belongs behind closed doors" crowd is full of crap. I've seen a lot stranger things than an adult walking around sucking a paci or walking into the restroom with a clean diaper in hand.

Life is too short to worry about if we are constantly offending other people, and IMO people are too easily offended these days anyways.

[timmyc]

I think most men with a paci in public would be considered creepy, most women, even of the same exact age, would be considered cute.

[TDL]

I'm perfectly fine about that. To be honest, I tend to do it myself sometimes (The paci thing)...

Now on to something more touchy... The thing about walking into a restroom with a diaper in your hand is kind of unwanted attention. I am partly incontinent, and I do have spare diapers on hand if something should happen, but I'm not really all that optimistic about taking the diaper out of the bag BEFORE I go into the restroom. Not that I think it's not ok, but people tend to categorize, a lot. Unless you look like the perfect college girl, people will give you odd looks and not the positive ones. Trust me, it will only help if one waits until INSIDE the restroom to be clear, take out the diaper and change.

Good luck though, let's hope you don't get harassed

[lilannie]

In my experiences the general public is so absorbed in their own little world that they don't pay a bit of attention to other people or their surroundings.

When diapered in public I generally try to appear as normal as the rest of the sheep. I'm not out to get attention, however you could probably spot my diaper if you knew what to look for.

Personally, the "ABDL only belongs behind closed doors" crowd is full of crap. I've seen a lot stranger things than an adult walking around sucking a paci or walking into the restroom with a clean diaper in hand.

Life is too short to worry about if we are constantly offending other people, and IMO people are too easily offended these days anyways.

In a fetish that is so closely associated with pedophilia, it never hurts to be careful.

[Little-Daddy-Toa]

In a fetish that is so closely associated with pedophilia, it never hurts to be careful.

Not that many really think of pedophilia when they hear about ABDL. I have only had one react badly out of 40 people. As long as you explain it when they ask you'll be just fine.

But it's still not as bad as dominatrix's' going out in public with latex or GIMP's going out into public so it can't be that bad.

[lilannie]

Not that many really think of pedophilia when they hear about ABDL. I have only had one react badly out of 40 people. As long as you explain it when they ask you'll be just fine.

But it's still not as bad as dominatrix's' going out in public with latex or GIMP's going out into public so it can't be that bad.

That's not true. I have heard plenty of people who don't know I'm into AB/DL go "Adults who dress up like babies?? That's sick!!". It's all over the internet too. You have to admit that most people who don't know anything about it think we are sick, disgusting, pedophiles. Hell I know people into BDSM who are grossed out by the thought of a daddy/babygirl relationship because they think it sounds like incest/pedophilia.

Whereas, the general public, when it comes to dominatrix/bdsm-y stuff most often thinks "well that's pretty kinky but not for me". They don't think "That's disgusting."

Edit: As a general addendum, I am talking about the general public. When you do things in public, you don't ever get a chance to explain what ABDL is and isn't, so people are going to think the worst.

[Little-Daddy-Toa]

That's not true. I have heard plenty of people who don't know I'm into AB/DL go "Adults who dress up like babies?? That's sick!!". It's all over the internet too. You have to admit that most people who don't know anything about it think we are sick, disgusting, pedophiles. Hell I know people into BDSM who are grossed out by the thought of a daddy/babygirl relationship because they think it sounds like incest/pedophilia.

Whereas, the general public, when it comes to dominatrix/bdsm-y stuff most often thinks "well that's pretty kinky but not for me". They don't think "That's disgusting."

Edit: As a general addendum, I am talking about the general public. When you do things in public, you don't ever get a chance to explain what ABDL is and isn't, so people are going to think the worst.

Ok I will give you that. Though i do tend to pick the people i tell it to very well only had that one instance where i was called a pedo freak etc etc because i like to wear diapers. But she was just angry anyways. lol

but i have seen people explain stuff in public but as long as it's not like you wander out in just a diaper and a shirt then i don't really care. *shrugs* but i'm fairly open about what i am in all aspects. Heck all my friends want me to go shopping with them because i like to wear skirts sometimes.

[Zuesbaby]

I think your fine, poeple most people need to just relax. If you can Walk around with there ass hanging out your fine.

[sarah_ab]

honestly when i see someone with a pacifier, i just think... lame raver wannabe.... or "oh yeah its sooo cool to pretend that you're on drugs" because with me when i see someone with a pacifier in public, i think "exstacy" not ab.... but thats just me.

if i see an adult openly carrying an adult diaper into a bathroom --- which i've only seen once --- i think... how sad they feel the need to draw attention to themselves in such a negative way, don't they realize no one wants to know about their medical condition.... but again... thats just me....

[Mischa]

now Mia may not like this but scew it. Me and her have had our differences, I said some stuff I should never have thought, let alone THINK, and it never should have ever been said to her BUT seeing as I still see her as the main reason I came to accept myself, I feel duty-bound to step to her defense.

VVV biggest jackass comment I've ever read on a site frequented by transgendered people. I have seen Mia through skype and she passes perfectly.

Mia, welcome back. It's been awhile. From what I think I understand about your situation, and taking all three things into account, my concern would only be that the diaper and binky would draw more attention to whether or not you're passing. I'm sure you'll take just a little bit of offense at this, but again, I'd like to reiterate that it's been quite some time since we've heard from you, let alone seen pictures.

I'm going to have to side with my former NW-er here, Annie and say that, yeah, what you describe falls into the weird category. Not to entirely burst your bubble, social norms are consistently dynamic in that personality traits that are 'weird' for one, may not be quite as shocking for another in a similar situation. There are quite a few people that, under the right circumstances, can 'rock' weird. Again, I don't know you any better than the rest of the readers, so maybe you're one of the exceptions. . .

But I would like to point out that even women with babies and small children aren't seen strolling through to the restroom with the next diaper change in hand. There's a bag involved, almost always. The only exception might be their home, or someone's private home with which they are familiar. Similarly, toddlers are rarely seen wandering around a store --even Target and Walmart-- with their binky. Why not? For one, the child could get lost. So if you're gonna do this --hold someone's hand! And if the child doesn't get lost, the binky might: Leash it or lose it, kiddo!

I'm so happy that many of us that are out are thinking of our public image and how it's perceived. Being conscious of how others 'take in' your image really allows you to fully grasp your situation and how you come across to others. Being conscious of such things is important in any walk of life, but especially in those where you're trying to portray an unexpected image.

[Marcuss]

When you openly display things you are asking for a reaction. Is it wrong no not in general. But do not be mad if the reaction you get is not what you wanted.

When questions like this are asked i like to think of the situation if it were a different lifestyle decision or fetish. Then i can be less bias. ...so

How bout if a couple be it a man woman or any same sex combination were walking around in leather with one waring a collar and the other leading them around...is that appropriate? Unless your in a fetish club or other type of place probably not. Is it against the law no not at all. Do they have the right to do it yes they do but it is also legal to drink a gallon of gasoline...but i would not think it a good idea. Wanting or needing diapers or even being treated like a baby and acting the part is all well and good and your business. Forcing the general public to participate even as a spectator is in my opinion wrong. One persons rights end the instant they intrude on another person. As a side note i think a woman using a paci is cute.

[Bettypooh]

"Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it!" is a principle to live by. Thus, I see no issue with the differing opinions which were given, even when the OP disagrees But some posts have bordered on being "personal attacks"- maybe even crossing that line That is not allowed here Let's chill a bit people!

As to me, I feel that we have a certain obligation to the ABDL community at large to not let our personal expression demean the others, or cause a general opinion of our unworthiness of being treated fairly and equally. Where to draw that line? I really don't know I know where it is for me, and I know where I believe it has been unequivocally crossed I have seen where that line is in the minds of others here which leads me to believe that my perception is reasonable

I have to temper that with my belief in personal freedom of expression I do not want to see anyone unduly restricted, but those who go to extremes should expect that others may not like them doing that And they all have an equal right to express their viewpoints here

I'd say that people should be reasonably discreet when that is easily done. Carrying a diaper to a bathroom openly when an easy method of concealment is at hand shouldn't be done Nor should one openly have or use a paci in highly public place unless they look like a raver (which I'm too old to do) And blatantly wearing baby-style clothing or intentionally exposing your diaper in public is a fail Certainly there are exceptions to all this, and just as certain is that everyone should be seen as an individual, but the reality is that we are all going to be judged by society as part of the whole group they see us as a part of- right or wrong. And there's not much we can do about that except allow for that in our personal actions as a way to show respect of all others in this group As we do, we will be done unto by everyone else- and that's not necessarily a bad thing- so if you are acting in an extreme manner then expect negative responses, for they will come!

Bettypooh

[Mischa]

now that doesn't necessarily apply. Collars are not worn for medical need. Incontinence is a valid medical reason to have a diaper.

as for having one out of a diaper bag. Anyone stop to think: hey....bathroom stalls are f-ing small and maybe she didn't want to bring her diaper bag in with her and leave it out with a friend?

I came close to a similar and potentially highly embarrassing experience. Waiting for a job interview at toys r us--i had decided to familiarize myself with the store layout. I had my diaper bag--and before I get questioned about it....my diaper bag is a repurposed dark gray laptop bag with a green bike reflector on the zipper to serve as a safety device when walking in the dark. As I finish my circuit of the store I decide to go into the electronics section, where seeing me from across the store, a salesclerk comes over and tells me I have to leave my backpack at the customer service desk. So I obliged understanding his motivation for the request.

however, had I needed a diaper change post-interview--i am medically incontinent due to CP and hydrocephalus--I doubt I would have been allowed to retrieve my diaper bag in it's entirety to go into the restroom and would have needed to carry a diaper, wipe pack, and a plastic bag openly--as this was a 60 degree day, I didn't have a coat to hide under. I would have used the plastic bag to hold the diaper and wipes, however the bag was translucent anyway.

oh and I didn't get the job as they wanted me for an insultingly small number of hours a week and I would not have been allowed to both work there and stay where I was.

to top that shit-sundae off.....i forgot my diaper bag and didn't realize it till an hour after I'd left and needed to call my grandparents to pick me up to return to the store and retrieve it.

[willow]

It's not about the 'what' or 'how', it's always about the 'why'.

If you're walking through Target with a paci fulfilling a fetish (or call it what you want) on open display, then silly you. If you take that diaper out of the bag early because you enjoy the stares and the humiliation, then shame on you. People who flash their diaper at people who just couldn't care less, just to get a reaction or some kind of validation should be exiled from the community.

It's like the Male#1 picture on DD of the guy on the doctor's exam table in diaper and clear plastic pants. I hope it's staged for effect, because if it's real I think he should be punched in the face. Don't tell me he's not getting off on it at the nurses expense. He couldn't find a pair of underwear to put over that in order to save some blushes and dignity, and be just a tiny bit more discrete? I don't care how nasty fat you are, you can find a pair of Hanes to go over your diaper pants for the doctors visit. Disgusting.

This keeps coming up. All of us want acceptance of our lifestyle and for it to be considered mainstream and normal. Sorry, but it's not and never will be, and I think that's a good thing. We don't want to be outcasts, but there it is. We soil ourselves on purpose and 99.9% of the population think that's weird. Get over it.

For those of you who think you shouldn't have to hide who you are, you're smoking crack. You can declare you're gay just fine, try getting ass-fucked in the toy department at Target and see what happens. Heck, just try making out. Society has it's standards, we might not agree on them, but that's democracy for you. You can tell all your friends and family all about your soggy diapers, do that shit in front of me and my child in public you're going to have consequences.

If it's a medical thing and you do your best to be discrete and something happens, then fair enough. Thousands of people manage to be mostly discrete about this every day. Don't tell me AB/DLs can't do the same.

Bottom line: Nobody wants to be, or should be, affected by your alternative chosen lifestyle. You wouldn't want their lifestyle to interrupt your shopping and turn you red in the face either.

</Rant>

[Brudda Voodu]

I will at times wear a diaper discreetly under my clothing when out and about. I don't think there is anything wrong with that. Personally I would not be so open about my alternate lifestyle as the OP certainly is. I think that if you are carrying on in that manner, you have accepted your self and have decided to live your life as how you may see fit. As much as you have the right to live openly and display your interests, the general public (including your peers here) have the right to question your actions or make comments about it. This is fact and you will have to live with it. I don't really give how you choose to display yourself but other s my take offense. Just be carefull about your conduct as some may be particularely unforgiving in their comments.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Well seeing as I live with Mia and date her, I'd like to point out that not once has anyone ever said anything. It is comical how clueless some of the people in the community are. Nobody sees an adult with a pacifier and says ABDl or pedophile. In fact to 90% of the vanilla world, we don't exist. Someone wearing a diaper underneath their clothing where nobody who isn't being a douche bag pervert can see it is not forcing the public to watch. She also doesn't walk around with a 'diaper bag' she walks around with a backpack.(pink one, which I hate to carry).

At the worst, when she does her stuff in public people may think shes autistic, not some kind of of fetishist. Just because you want to be a coward doesn't mean she has to. I'm not that open about everything just because I don't want to be, however I can careless if someone wears in public, especially if they are incontinent. She doesn't do the baby talk or as half of you write your idiotic fantasy stories, rub up against people in public. Of all the stupid shit I read on this site, people are whining about this? FAIL?!

[curiositykilledthecat]

It's not about the 'what' or 'how', it's always about the 'why'.

If you're walking through Target with a paci fulfilling a fetish (or call it what you want) on open display, then silly you. If you take that diaper out of the bag early because you enjoy the stares and the humiliation, then shame on you. People who flash their diaper at people who just couldn't care less, just to get a reaction or some kind of validation should be exiled from the community.

It's like the Male#1 picture on DD of the guy on the doctor's exam table in diaper and clear plastic pants. I hope it's staged for effect, because if it's real I think he should be punched in the face. Don't tell me he's not getting off on it at the nurses expense. He couldn't find a pair of underwear to put over that in order to save some blushes and dignity, and be just a tiny bit more discrete? I don't care how nasty fat you are, you can find a pair of Hanes to go over your diaper pants for the doctors visit. Disgusting.

This keeps coming up. All of us want acceptance of our lifestyle and for it to be considered mainstream and normal. Sorry, but it's not and never will be, and I think that's a good thing. We don't want to be outcasts, but there it is. We soil ourselves on purpose and 99.9% of the population think that's weird. Get over it.

For those of you who think you shouldn't have to hide who you are, you're smoking crack. You can declare you're gay just fine, try getting ass-fucked in the toy department at Target and see what happens. Heck, just try making out. Society has it's standards, we might not agree on them, but that's democracy for you. You can tell all your friends and family all about your soggy diapers, do that shit in front of me and my child in public you're going to have consequences.

If it's a medical thing and you do your best to be discrete and something happens, then fair enough. Thousands of people manage to be mostly discrete about this every day. Don't tell me AB/DLs can't do the same.

Bottom line: Nobody wants to be, or should be, affected by your alternative chosen lifestyle. You wouldn't want their lifestyle to interrupt your shopping and turn you red in the face either.

</Rant>

Logic fail. I take it you've never been to a rave or seen one, as 99% of the people there use a pacifier. People don't think fetish in public when they see a pacifier, usually they think, mental disorder or she's on ecstasy. Sometimes I wonder about both, lol.(j/k) If you wish to live in an imaginary bubble of fear, go right ahead, just realize that the majority of people don't know we exist and there's a big difference between wearing in public and being okay with it and what some of the people on here fantasize about doing. Mia is not turtlepins, she doesn't do stupid things or make up stupid stories about hot teenage girls feeling her diaper. she just found a way to enjoy her medical issues. she's incontinent and if anyone ever said anything about the diaper in public that is the answer they would get. There's a difference between being proud and open and being a douche about it. Look at normal gays and the pride parades and tell me that there isn't a difference and that one group is accepted and relatively liked while the other is well....just annoying.

[Saschadzg]

I rather don´t carry a single diaper openly when changing myself. I remember the looks of the pharmacist when buying diapers in the store. The poor intersex/transgirl had a bad srs and now must wear diapers. When buying diapers they will always asume that I buy them for myself.

Therefore I also switched to buying diapers online.

I really do not need that extra post OP diaper bonus/attention.