Pour Out A Little Liquor

[TBlazer]

For my fellow single ABs, pour out a little liquor!

My girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago, and man, no matter what I do it's hard to not be drug down by the weight of loneliness. I live in the middle of nowhere and can't wait to move elsewhere. This was the first girl I told about my AB side (NOT the reason we broke up) and man, it's hard not to feel the loss. For the first time in years I felt like I was falling in love, but long distance relationships don't seem to work out, do they.

For all the love sick and broke driftin AB's out there, this one's for you *tips 40*

[toon]

what part of NY are you? My wife and I are just a hop skip and jump away. We have alot of parties and munches.....maybe you wouldnt feel so lonely surrounded by people like you.

[BriGuy]

I feel your pain bro. I Just finished up my divorce. The loneliness is almost unbearable. We were together for 6 years. Ill tip my vodka and cran for you man.

[Snugglebug]

Having lost several to being asexual, I'll tip back a shot of rum for you.

[babykeiff]

The phrase " 'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all" may seem small recompense, but with life, to know joy, one must endure pain. I sympathize with you, lift a drink to you, and rejoice, for this is the path we chose to true joy and love, and despite how you feel today, take solace in the fact that you will find your soul mate.

[Guest Wetnmessy247]

I don't drink a whole lot, so I'll wet my diaper in your honor.

Psssssssssssssssssss...........

[jediaper]

I just told my GF about being AB/DL a few hours ago, she didn't leave me but she said she needs time to process the info. She and I have a date for Friday that's still on schedule so I'll keep everyone updated. But still I feel ya, I have a few beers in me right now, so I'm pretty buzzed and I tip my (beer) bottle to ya. I wish ya the best of luck, and remind ya that you're not alone, you have a whole community here that supports ya. Peace man.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Loneliness is a fickle mistress.

I've been lonely for years, however it seems dw and I are giving the relationship game a go and it's weird not feeling lonely. It's almost like something I grew accustomed to. It's not to say that I am not happy to see loneliness go. My brother, relax, I'll drop a few back for you bro, however take some time to enjoy the silence.

[Kari]

Buddy, I am so sorry.

I know all too well what you're going through.

There is no magic word or advice to really take the raw pain.away.

Just the time that will heal this wound and as you move on, you will find someone else.

Maybe even better for you.

I see we are about 20 years apart so I have divorces and my failed relationships that nearly killed me.

But I'm still alive.

And you will survive this as well.

I hope you go see a counselor or someone that may help put it into perspective.

But most of all, I'm glad you decided to share with us.

[Darkfinn]

Don't let it bring ya' down man... there are more fish in the sea.

[JeiSiN]

Here's a fun perspective:

Long distance relationships don't work because before you find someone online, one's depiction and perception of loneliness is actually self-induced depression; the ongoing thoughts that make you feel like garbage, and its the spiral effect: Thoughts lead to corresponding emotions in the same way that emotions lead to corresponding thoughts, so if you get yourself into a funk, you are in a figure-8 of fuckery. Same thing for confident people; its a mindset in being your own guide, and usually less thought and more action is the answer. Anyways, for some/many people, finding someone online is simply finding someone who has the "self-induced abyss of loneliness", and in finding someone online, you use (or help?) each other to obtain emotions of euphoria brought forth by the apparent worth of yourself to another, and vice versa. Thus, the perception and the thoughts, too, are induced by yourself, given the fact that your interaction is limited. Of course, this sounds like a cynical look at any relationship, but without the physicality of a relationship, going out in public, and having the advantage of being able to think before you type, maybe who you are talking to is just a dorkus malorkus? Given the lack of true human interaction, the perception is totally warped: people hide important negative aspects of their personality, as well as embellish positive aspects when in front of the almighty screen!

We Believe in eeeeverything we Say,

We Say it because we Believe it.

-JeiSiN

[Darkfinn]

Long distance relationships don't work... online... people hide important [...] aspects of their personality when in front of the almighty screen!

There, I believe that sums up your testimony in one sentence.

Online anonymity can be good, but it can also be the devil.

[Guest]

but long distance relationships don't seem to work out, do they.

/disagree son, I was in long distance for 7 years and now we live in the same time zone so its nice. We will move in together when I manage to find a job...

[aleyxsis]

My sympaties go out to ya i was married for 15 yrs .When we split i was very depressed but with consuling and time im pretty well over it and have moved on .Also my seperation was because of my diapers so just keep going it will get better

[TBlazer]

Word to the advice from everyone, it's much appreciated.

The positive side to this whole thing is that I'll be forcing myself to get out and make more friends in the area. It's true-loneliness is self perpetuating-you get depressed when youre lonely, and when you're depressed you don't feel like meeting people. If anyone can explain this phenomenon better (like a psychologist) that would be enlightening.

I even tried the online dating thing over the last couple weeks-what a joke. A girl actually messaged me within the first five minutes of signing up, and before long we had a date planned-and I was stood up. The funny thing is, I felt nothin about it-no anger, no depressing thoughts. I think the whole internet to real life transition is new to me, and as such I don't think much of it.

So fuck that-I'm going to the bar for food, drinks, and real life interaction. I'll put one back for you guys-hearing about marriages being broken up puts things into perspective. Sorry to hear about that alexis. I wish I could own a 747 that was decked out as a club. Then I could fly around the world, picking up DD members and actually getting to meet the people behind the type face. Whos with me?

And if the hookup thing doesn't work, there's always bambinos and my footed pajamas. I do love being an AB.

[abrichiebc]

I don't drink much these days, but I tip my morning Pepsi to you. I to lost a love that had lasted for almost 2 years only 3 months ago and now I am right as rain. For the last 4 years I have been lock up in 2 very long relationships and I had forgotten how to be alone, but I'm back on my feet and feel just fine, you will to, just give it time and get your work done.

YOur profile depicts an avatar picture of a minor. I do not think this is acceptable on this site. You should change it .

[Guest Wetnmessy247]

Quiksilver avatar should be fine. It's diaper related, no?

I can understand how it may lead to some people getting off and masterbating to it.

Which is a problem.

So I take that back. Quiksilver, change your avatar.

We don't need outsiders having "proof" that we are sexual predators.

Unless it's your kid or something.

Then it's like having pics of your kids at work.

Is it your kid?

If no...take it down asap.

[Honu]

I just told my GF about being AB/DL a few hours ago, she didn't leave me but she said she needs time to process the info. She and I have a date for Friday that's still on schedule so I'll keep everyone updated. But still I feel ya, I have a few beers in me right now, so I'm pretty buzzed and I tip my (beer) bottle to ya. I wish ya the best of luck, and remind ya that you're not alone, you have a whole community here that supports ya. Peace man.

So, how did it go?

[sarah_ab]

i just have to say there is a difference between a long distance relationship and a strictly online, never met in real life, only talked on the phone relationship.

a long distance relationship implies the two people started a relationship while in close proximity to each other, but because of a relocation due to work, school or family, are separated and only able to see each other either very rarely, or perhaps will not be able to see each other and be together again until whatever caused the relocation is over...

but to 'meet someone online, maybe met them once for 2 hours of coffee, and other than that have never been in their physical proximity' is not really a long distance relationship.... its more a virtual relationship that may potentially theoretically hopefully at some point turn into an actual real life relationship....

[TBlazer]

I think there's some assumptions here.

We developed a relationship, then I moved, then it didn't work for her. There's a hell of a lot more too it then that, but no need for the details. Implying that this is an online BS relationship is pretty insulting. I tried the online thing after our breakup and I found it was just a way for women to get hit on by lots of lonely men, feel good about themselves, and shop for a date. I mean, someone who ASKED ME FOR A DATE stood me up. WTF, mate?

My experience with women has been they want all or nothing. The only long distance relationships I have heard of started with men wanting to keep things going, then women eventually saying it wasn't working for them (or they cheated on their men and that was the excuse, "it wasn't working") I think it has to do with security issues, and the fact that men hit on women, which gives them lots of options vs a man who has to make it on his own.

I know it works both ways, but this has been my experience.

[sarah_ab]

i apologize i was not trying to imply anyone had an online relationship, only people had been discussion online and long distance relationships as if they were the same thing, i was just posting my opinoin that they were in fact defnitely not the same thing....

in regards to long distance relationships in which a relationship is started with people in close proximity and then one or both must move.... i feel if there is an 'end date' in site, i mean if the people know for sure when they will be able to move back to close proximity with each other, a long distance relationship may be easier to maintain. However if there is no set end date, then this can definitely be harder...... of course there are numerous other factors..