64 Rules For Guys From Girls

[acemanner]

Yes I am a guy , contrary to popular belief. I just saw these on facebook and figured someone might get a laugh from them.

1. When we’re watching our favorite show, don’t try to distract us, make fun of the show, or make fun of how much we like the show. We probably know its lame, but we still watch. You have sports; we have our shows.

2. We like when you cook for us, it doesn’t have to be anything fancy, just food we aren’t picky it’s the thought that counts. If you absolutely can’t cook at all, get take out and set it up somewhat nicely.

3. Go to the gym…those pelvic muscles are insanely hot! The beer belly is not!

4. Don’t compare us to your ex-girlfriends; we aren’t them.

5. Open doors for us, we like our men to be gentlemen, bring chivalry back!

6. Just because we don't say thank you every time you do something, doesn't mean we don’t appreciate every little thing you do. The little things usually mean more than anything else.

7. Flowers don’t always make up for mistakes, but we love to get them when we least expect it.

8. We love to take pictures and when we want to take several it’s because we want cute ones of you or us to show off to other people.

9. When we want a girls’ night out, don’t be mad or think we are going out to look for other guys. We need our girls’ night as much as you guys need your guys’ night.

10. You can shoot hoops, score a goal, knock down big fat guys, and hit a little baseball with a stick, so why can't you aim in the toilet and not on it.

11. Saying something sweet might get you off the hook; doing something sweet will always get you off the hook.

12. We don’t shave our legs everyday, get over it.

13. When you kiss us we don't like to feel like we are making out with a dog so don’t slobber on our face.

14. Don’t ever lie to us; we will always find out.

15. Don’t tell us who is hot because we don’t care.

16. We shouldn’t have to plan everything, we like surprises, a little spontaneity goes a long way!

17. We’re not always girly girls; we can like boy stuff too.

18. DO NOT act different or be a jerk around your friends. It will get you in the end... (We remember these types of things)

19. Don't always expect us to call you. The phone works both ways!

20. No matter if we're fat or not, most girls aren't as self-confident as guys! And we need to be complimented as often as possible!

21. Being drunk is not an excuse for ANY of your actions.

22. Do not brag to your friends...unless you want us to discuss with the girls how small your penis is.

23. Walks in the rain, kisses on the forehead, and cooking dinner for us will get you everywhere.

24. If you're developing such good finger skills playing video games, you better put them to good use sometimes.

25. Anything you do or say to another girl that you wouldn't want us to know about is considered cheating.

26. If you refuse to dance, expect us to dance with other guys...and lots of them.

27. We don't always expect you to pay for us, but it doesn't hurt to at least offer every once in a while

28. Foreplay isn't something we should have to ask for...it's a prerequisite

29. No girl just wants to be your "friend with benefits."

30. We reserve the right to hate all of your ex-girlfriends

31. Think before you speak...it'll make a world of difference

32. Don't screw us over...especially if we have an older brother or protective guy friends...they will hunt you down and kill you

33. Just because we're still just "hanging out" doesn't make it ok to sleep with your ex-girlfriend

34. We aren’t asking for you to spill your heart, but some information about what’s going on in that head of yours, is nice every once in a while.

35. Don't complain on how long it takes us to get ready and then moan about how we always used to get dolled up for you and now we don’t anymore.

36. No backseat drivers, none!

37. If you hold our hand while you are driving we will be thoroughly impressed...especially if it's a stick.

38. The ability to play the guitar will help your COGL.

39. Return favors: we massage, you massage; we go down, you go down; we shave, you shave (and not just your face).

40. Boxers and maybe boxer briefs sometimes . . . NEVER whitey-tighties, NEVER!

41. Sensitive guys are great . . . but crying more than we do in a movie just isn't right.

42. Silent treatment, shoulder shrugs, tears, yelling and nasty looks all add up to . . . YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG

43. Your way is not always the right way. Learn to say- "I was wrong"

44. If we can't talk to you during a football game, then don't try to get our attention during Grey's Anatomy

45. We have other friends of the male gender. Just because we have guy friends doesn't mean we are sleeping with them or think they are attractive,sometimes it's nice to have a guys perspective on things! So leave your jealousy at the door!

46. Remember actions speak louder than words.

47. Unless you’re Dale Earnhardt Jr., we’re just as capable to drive as you are.

48. We don’t mind being DD (designated driver) as long as you’re not the DD (designated drunk) every night of the week, and you occasionally return the favor.

49. Patience is a virtue; we know what we’re doing.

50. Despite the fact that most of you will get mad and completely ignore what we're trying to tell you on this list, we'll still love you anyways. Probably not as much, but we gotta keep the species going right?

51. Don't act hard around your friends because I won't make you hard tonight.

52. "Wife Beaters" are not an adequate form of fashion.

53. If we wanted to be on video tape, we'd be a porn star not your girlfriend.

54. It takes a special kind of stupid to forget birthdays

55. Don't say you love me if you don't mean it.

56. If you don't act like soap-opera guys, don't expect us to dress like Victoria Secret models.

57. Just because you L the C doesn't mean we have to S the D.

58. We never have to wonder if your orgasm was real.

59. Would you like it if a guy treated your sister that way? We didn't think so.

60. When you see a girl with huge knockers, do not go "Damn!" and then laugh appreciatively to yourself - we can hear you.

61. When the girls get together, we talk about EVERYTHING. Meaning my best friends know everything about you.

62. Guys in uniform are hot, no lie, sometimes almost better than when you take them off.

63. When we are through, dont pretend like its okay to call whenever you want and make everything seem fine, especially if you caused the relationship to end. And, dont tell us about your other girlfriends or girls you met because if your trying to make us jealous, ur a lowlife.

64. If we say no once, we mean it, don't ask again and again. No means NO!

[loopy]

Feck it, I'm going gay.

[Youngatheart252]

Guy's rules for women

1. Feed me

2. Fuck me

3. Let me sleep

see how much simpler this is

[Rockies Fan in Diapers]

Those are some pretty Accurate & wise rules for guys when it comes to Women, I think.

Thanks for Posting !

Rockies Fan. Go Rockies in 2010!

[babyvr6]

That's it!! No more internet in the kitchen.

[Horndog]

I love reading these things because I know that there are some men who treat women like some alien lifeform. One false move and ZAP! You're now a pile of ash.

Just be yourself.

[WallaWalla]

21. Being drunk is not an excuse for ANY of your actions.

Right, cuz only guys get drunk and do stupid stuff.

I hate stereotypes regardless of who they are directed at.

[babyvr6]

Right, cuz only guys get drunk and do stupid stuff.

I hate stereotypes regardless of who they are directed at.

Hence why we should not have internet in the kitchen. What was this girl doing posting this online anyway? Didn't she a dishes to do, or a roast to cook? And since when do ovens have internet connectivity?

[fluff]

24 i found funny

what is cogl?

[WallaWalla]

Hence why we should not have internet in the kitchen. What was this girl doing posting this online anyway? Didn't she a dishes to do, or a roast to cook? And since when do ovens have internet connectivity?

Yeah yeah, I realize that my sense of humor is looking rather impaired in that last post. My issue is more with the viewpoint behind where the humor is coming from in this case though. It's figurative jingoism...

[babyvr6]

Yeah yeah, I realize that my sense of humor is looking rather impaired in that last post. My issue is more with the viewpoint behind where the humor is coming from in this case though. It's figurative jingoism...

On no!! Now you've misinterpreted me. I was being serious to an extent. Why was she not baking me a pie? This is a serious and important question.

[Snugglebug]

Ironically, a list like that would only, for the most part, make any real sense for someone who actually doesn't need it. A 60-item list isn't going to teach anyone how to respect and reciprocate; only life experience, and perhaps the occasional smack to the giggly bits with the Two-by-Four of Understanding, will sink that into the skulls of anyone for whom the comprehension of these principles does not come easily.

[DiaperedSpencer]

I have always disliked lists like this one because they are stereotypical of what a heterosexual relationship is and sexist towards both men and women.

[curiositykilledthecat]

1. When we’re watching our favorite show, don’t try to distract us, make fun of the show, or make fun of how much we like the show. We probably know its lame, but we still watch. You have sports; we have our shows.

Can I add as a guy. Do not ask us to take out the trash, does butt look fat or any other stupid question while we're watching one of our shows. Either that or buy us a damn tivo.

[WallaWalla]

Does anyone under the age of 40 actually bother their partner with that 'does my butt look fat' crap anymore? No offense to the baby boomers intended with that comment, it just seems like a lot of the 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' hubub is aging with them.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I agree, I was actually stealing a bit from ralphie may and modified it to fit the context here.

[Yvhuce]

Guy's rules for women

1. Feed me

2. Fuck me

3. Let me sleep

see how much simpler this is

You forgot #4: Don't be a bitch.

[loopy]

You forgot #4: Don't be a bitch.

Meh, if they do the first three well enough, most men aren't bothered about that one....