Imposing Our Lifestyle Where It Is Not Wanted

[Guest 13obalicious]

This would be a good discussion on Our Life Style.

I don't do the whole forum thing often but from time to time I do. Its been years since Ive last engaged conversation on the topic of diapers online. A few years ago I found myself on Depends.com and I started to post to a forum on dating and relationship challenges for people that use depends (LOL!!! as I was going through one myself at the time). I was not taken in very well by these folks even though my intent was to have a mature conversation on the topic of the particular type of product that the site was marketing... Why not post there? I pay good money and regularly purchase depends so I was determined to stay and hold my ground for the right to be there. It was there that I realized why I was not taken in so well... There where people there coping(SP?) with the condition of needing diapers for a medical reason having to listen to people of our lifestyle enacting there fantasies on this site devoted to the issue of "being" incontinent. I did not engage in any of this but I did see first hand the problem these people where dealing with which was the lack of any sympathy from our community for these people that where seeking real advice from others with the same condition... It is very disrespectful and selfish to come up with make believe stories of how your incontinent and post the details of your fantasies on a forum dedicated to incontinence. I actually enjoyed the stories but I could empathize with those that did not want to hear about the details of this lifestyle.

I did post there for some time and did struggle with the moderators of the site for my right to be there. (Like I said I pay good money for the product so I fought to be there.) They should in my opinion have a section on that site that is dedicated to people that do like there product for non medical reasons as Depends should acknowledge that we are out here and we do make up a good chunk on there income statement. But I can understand why they try to hide us from the site...

Anyway there is a "Public Space" and a "Private space". I wish our community could be a little more mature when they are in a public space. Most people do not want to know about the details of our lifestyle so please respect that and keep the details behind closed doors or a site dedicated to that...

Robert

[DiaperedSpencer]

Why exactly are you telling all of us to censor ourselves? Because you had a bad experience? The AB/DL community shouldn't hide itself from the world. Telling all of us to keep quiet is the equivalent of telling all gay men and women to stay in the closet and pretend to be straight. It's wrong.

[fideliuscharm]

Why exactly are you telling all of us to censor ourselves? Because you had a bad experience? The AB/DL community shouldn't hide itself from the world. Telling all of us to keep quiet is the equivalent of telling all gay men and women to stay in the closet and pretend to be straight. It's wrong.

Did you actually *think* before you posted this? or did you just react and blather something.

You're comparing being open about ones fetish, to the right to choose(and acceptance there-of) to love whoever one wants. Apples and oranges my friend.

You don't see same sex couples going out in public often describing their sexual escapades. There is a time and a place where such things are appropriate.

[Guest 13obalicious]

Why exactly are you telling all of us to censor ourselves? Because you had a bad experience? The AB/DL community shouldn't hide itself from the world. Telling all of us to keep quiet is the equivalent of telling all gay men and women to stay in the closet and pretend to be straight. It's wrong.

There is nothing wrong with a gay guy/gal being a gay guy/gal... I'm just saying that most people do not want to hear the detail of what goes on in his/her lifestyle to those that are not gay. I'm not saying that we should all act as if we don't exist what I am saying is that people don't what the details... If you tell someone you like to where diapers that is fine if you do trust them. But to get into the detail with someone who does not what to listen to the details that is something entirely different.

And if you read my post again you will see that is not what I was trying to say.

[BriGuy]

Why exactly are you telling all of us to censor ourselves? Because you had a bad experience? The AB/DL community shouldn't hide itself from the world. Telling all of us to keep quiet is the equivalent of telling all gay men and women to stay in the closet and pretend to be straight. It's wrong.

Not quite but your only 18 so Ill chaulk that up to lack of maturity. It is not appropriate to go to other websites that are dedicated to incontinence to fulfill our fantasies. Its one thing to be supportive, its another to be deceitful. There are sites for those who are into it for fun and those that are for people without a choice. Proclaim your pride in the appropriate forum...

I definitely agree with the op.

[Guest 13obalicious]

And much of the issues I had with the moderators of that board was a result of my efforts to bring our lifestyle into the open and my right to be on the site...

[DL88]

This is what I think of this thread.

[DiaperedSpencer]

I apologize to those I offended as I did misread the original post. I thought he was saying that we should pretend we don't exist (which I disagree with), when he was saying we shouldn't go into crude, sexual detail about our fetish with strangers (which I do agree with). Sorry!

[DL88]

Epic Fail.

[Horndog]

It's a bit exploitative in my opinion.

[diaperliz]

Our lifestyle is offensive to some people, so I choose to respect that and not rub it in their faces.

I am of the opinion that if we ever want to be taken seriously as a community then we have to be the ones that take the higher road, so to speak, and show respect to non-AB/DLs. Rather then waiting for the rest of the road to show us respect.

[loopy]

Jersey13ob' date='01 February 2010 - 04:55 AM' timestamp='1265000133' post='270976']

Anyway there is a "Public Space" and a "Private space". I wish our community could be a little more mature when they are in a public space. Most people do not want to know about the details of our lifestyle so please respect that and keep the details behind closed doors or a site dedicated to that... No one wants to hear about your shitty diaper being changed!!!

I don't know who you are actually directing your post towards.... I think most of the users here don't go on to the depends forum and post their fantasies/lifestyle, why should they? They've got here..... :X. Theres always a few bad apples in any group, so of course they're going to get people going on there, I'm not going to let it worry me. It doesn't really effect me apart from giving ab's a bad rep in the incon community, which we already suffer from.

I do agree that we shouldn't go around forcing it in to peoples faces, but sadly not everyone understands that (see the diapers in the news section....). All we can do is make sure that we as individuals don't cross the line.

It does seem weird that you were one of these people trying to get the depends users/mods to accept you, nice to see you had a change of heart.

[Boby]

I too feel that some tend to push what is essentially a sexually orientated fetish and lifestyle beyond the limits of privacy and decency. Many of us wish there was a wider range of AB/DL sites, but the reality is that experiences available while playing out our lifestyle are self limiting and are soon repeated. Running searches of related keywords results in a few relevant fetish site hits, but also lead us to medical incontinence or bed wetting sites. A quick read of topics in these non fetish sites soon reveals messages of obsessiveness or pretense, so obvious to one who indulges that they're from AB's or DL's, trying to manipulate subjects or targets in order to get some sexual thrill from the revelation and discussion of extremely private details.

I have personal experience of how being a DL has interfered in a relationship with my SO after she started to experience stress incontinence. Sneezing or coughing now cause regular damp patches, which she hates! Since becoming one of the medically incontinent her view to my intentional diaper wetting has changed, she admitted that it made her feel worse because I appeared to be getting pleasure from doing something which, for her was unpleasant, embarrassing and stressful. People like her or worse, who can't conveniently fit incontinence into their lifestyles by deciding where, when and how much they pee or poo may seek out a support site. Now imagine their feelings as they seek support and advice in the anonymity of the internet to find completely unrealistic threads, contaminated by DL's gone bad, or even become an unknowing the target of one who's whacking off while reading their personal experiences.

Another related action is the excessively overt public diaper usage. It's still not illegal to wear diapers in public without a license and as healthy people, we can even use them too! I admit that I enjoy wearing diapers in public occasionally but how long will we be able to enjoy this freedom? Not long if the regularly repeated Walmart story is true! This, and similar shopping mall stories are examples where, for some, the private thrill of subtle public diaper wearing appears to have lost it's kick. Boundaries between subtle use and public decency become blurred and their control of impulses is lost as they deliberately start to draw attention to themselves (and the general DL fetish), with reports of messing diapers while walking around a food store or while standing in line with people close behind! It is this kind of activity which excessively involves the general public and should neither be supported or accepted in our community.

[tommee]

This thread = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cilLKufYOhE

[DailyDi]

There is some truth to what the OP has said. I routinely remind ABDL's to either stay off the incontinence/bedwetting boards or limit posts to constructive ideas (better products, skin care, etc.) and not fetish topics.

Additionally, just this last week I had a respected Incontinence product supplier turn-down an invitation to advertise with us - not because he doesn't respect us or want our business - but because when he last advertised on a fetish site his phone line got flooded with people who just wanted to "talk diapers" with someone, and had no actual intention of buying.

THIS (DD) is the place to "talk diapers" as a fetish.

[loopy]

Additionally, just this last week I had a respected Incontinence product supplier turn-down an invitation to advertise with us - not because he doesn't respect us or want our business - but because when he last advertised on a fetish site his phone line got flooded with people who just wanted to "talk diapers" with someone, and had no actual intention of buying.

THIS (DD) is the place to "talk diapers" as a fetish.

Thats actually really really scary :/. Maybe I just expect more of my fellow man (baby, diaperlove) but hearing about these kinds of people makes me worry for the human race. Has it really come down to this? :/

And agreed with the second part.

[Guest NaughtyAshes]

Being an AB AND ALSO of the LGBT crowed, I feel obligated to post.

I really can't see AB and Gay to be on the same page. I'm sorry, they just aren't. Should ABs stay in the closet? No, unless the individual wants to. However, I equate the details of my messy diaper to the details of the girl whom I last drove to clawing holes in the wall near my bed. Both sets of details are private, and most people outside each respective community don't want to hear them. Hell, people IN each community often don't want to hear them.

Likewise, I'm sure the friends of most transsexuals don't want to hear the details of tucking, or packing, or dear Goddess, the surgery.

I think that covers all the letters I listed.

AB isn't sexual for me, so I equate it to self parenting. I hate when parents change their messy kid right out in the open, or let their kid stink up the place for a freaken hour. Likewise, I try to keep my messy diapers to myself. However, no problem with a kid having a binky and a stuffed animal wherever, and I will do the same.

This. All of this!

[night0wl]

There is far far too much of this sort of nonsense. Somehow we need to rein these people in, surely they'd get a better reaction to their posts here :\

I once came across some ABDL fantasy posts that had been put up on a bedwetting forum which was full of parents and KIDS!!!!

How the heck are we ever going to shake the stigma that ABDL is somehow linked to paedophilia when there are idiots advising mothers to force their kids into nappies 24/7. I mean FFS!

/rant

I suggest that if anyone sees any of these posts, send the poster an email, if possible, with a link to this site

[Guest 13obalicious]

Thanks all for your replies.

I thought I would make my Debut from a long hiatus of posting but slapping up a nice juicy controversial subject as I am one that loves to stir the pot.

My post is not directed at the ABDL community at large but to the few that do.

Just wanted to point out what I saw.

ABDL, LGBT, BDSM... they are all worlds apart but there are tangents to each of them.

Ohhh, pardon my ignorance... What does LGBT stand for? Lesbian Gay Bi Transexual???

[Horndog]

^ It means NaughtyWishes agrees with you completely

Since I'm a DL, I interpret the lifestyle (more like a hobby to me) as sexual in nature, but I feel no need to impose my desires on those who are suffering from incontinence.

[WallaWalla]

From the number of posts that turn up on 'incontinence discussion forums' when I am browsing the internet for various fetish related things, I fail to see the purpose in posting on such forums at all. Not only are you ruining other people's space, the majority of them are going to be fetishists who decided to infiltrate the incontinence group like you did.

Speaking from personal experience as a former horny teenager with a computer.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Being an AB AND ALSO of the LGBT crowed, I feel obligated to post.

I really can't see AB and Gay to be on the same page. I'm sorry, they just aren't. Should ABs stay in the closet? No, unless the individual wants to. However, I equate the details of my messy diaper to the details of the girl whom I last drove to clawing holes in the wall near my bed. Both sets of details are private, and most people outside each respective community don't want to hear them. Hell, people IN each community often don't want to hear them.

Likewise, I'm sure the friends of most transsexuals don't want to hear the details of tucking, or packing, or dear Goddess, the surgery.

I think that covers all the letters I listed.

AB isn't sexual for me, so I equate it to self parenting. I hate when parents change their messy kid right out in the open, or let their kid stink up the place for a freaken hour. Likewise, I try to keep my messy diapers to myself. However, no problem with a kid having a binky and a stuffed animal wherever, and I will do the same.

I have to agree a fetish is quite different than a sexual preference/lifestyle. Also I just call them the BBQ people. LGBTQLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ...? Novbody should be thrusting their sexploits upon anyone else uninvited. This website is a place for the free exchange of info amongst a specific community thus it's open space.

Also don'ty forget rocking the hello kitty footie pajamas DW.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Also the depends people are sad because they wear depends. A good nappy makes for a person happy.

[sarah_ab]

i guess the fact that people have to debate whether it is appropriate to post about your fetish on a website for people with a medical disoder shows just how messed up some people really are.

So if you have a fetish for amputees i guess you should go to a support group meeting for people who have lost limbs and try to pick them up... cause thats just as sensitive...

[curiositykilledthecat]

i guess the fact that people have to debate whether it is appropriate to post about your fetish on a website for people with a medical disoder shows just how messed up some people really are.

So if you have a fetish for amputees i guess you should go to a support group meeting for people who have lost limbs and try to pick them up... cause thats just as sensitive...

Oka, I didn't even realize that was the issue? why would you post fetish related material on a medical site? It's like posting foot fetishism on a podiatry site. WTF?