A Girl Acting Like A Child Is Considered Normal

[peelover]

Girls can act slightly babyish in public and its considered normal. For example, today I saw two girls cuddling to get warm, and one time I saw two teenage girls skipping and holding hands. This is considered normal for girls but not for guys. Plus its more acceptable for a girl to cry then a guy. Also I often here girls talking about how they still watch Spongebob, but I very rarely here guys talking about that. Also girls are so much nicer then guys. If a girl to asks girl for a hug, she hugs her, but if a guy asks a girl for hug she backs away, why? Why are girls so affectionate to other girls but not to guys other then there boyfriend?

[Jabez]

A lot of that is due to societal expectations. A man is expected to be a brave, tough provider. It's just the way society looks at men. They're expected to be the ones who take care of women. Honestly, I think that's bullshit, but that's just me. Societal expectations ruin a lot of people, because they do what they're supposed to do, instead of what makes them happy.

About the hugging, girls most likely back away because a lot of guys will fake stuff like that just to touch or get close to the girl. I can speak from experience on that one. So typically, I would just rather back away and offer verbal support. We don't have to worry about other girls copping a feel as much as we do guys. I understand not all guys are like that... but I take the stance, better safe than sorry.

[diaperliz]

A lot of that is due to societal expectations. A man is expected to be a brave, tough provider. It's just the way society looks at men. They're expected to be the ones who take care of women.

Who and what people are define social expectation which in turns defines who and what people are?

I hear that kind of thing said a lot but it seems very circular... I hear religion blamed a lot for social expectations, but the same people who blame religion say religion is just made up by a bunch of people.. which ties right back into the social expectations circular reasoning.

Not trying to be rude, Jabez.. just politely disagreeing.

I have babysat a lot of little boys and girls (like ages 0-5... not adult babies.. although I have babysat a few of those too).. and the girls act like girls and the boys act like boys LONG before social expectations can have any effect on them.

I am no doctor but I would say that how we act has a to do with our hormones and our genes a lot more then social expectations.

[sarah_ab]

You need to meet better girls.

you also need to meet better guys. My male friens hug each other, they cry when they are upset, even in public places.. it might not be outward bawling, but they show their emotions.

If i see two high school girls holding hands and skipping, i dont see it as socially acceptable, i see it as two teenage girls acting young because they feel cool and mature when they do that.. the whole i dont care what other people think of me i'm gonna do it when the whole time they hope everyone thinks how cool they are for not caring....

I've never seen two girls 'cuddling' to keep warm, unless its in the winter and they are sharing say a blanket, but i've seen guys doing that as well.

While i agree, when people see two girls say skipping down the road holding hands they are not as likely to do a double take as when they see two guys doing.

And honestly if ANYONE i dont know comes up to me looking for a hug, i sure as hell am NOT going to hug them, guy or girl. Girls who won't take a hug from another guy either 1. dont like the guy 2. think the guy creeps them out 3. have an overprotective boyfriend 4. dont like to be hugged.

i hope you aren't just going up to random girls and asking them for a hug.. because that would be number 2... you creap them out! lol

[gweg]

Who and what people are define social expectation which in turns defines who and what people are?

I hear that kind of thing said a lot but it seems very circular... I hear religion blamed a lot for social expectations, but the same people who blame religion say religion is just made up by a bunch of people.. which ties right back into the social expectations circular reasoning.

Not trying to be rude, Jabez.. just politely disagreeing.

I have babysat a lot of little boys and girls (like ages 0-5... not adult babies.. although I have babysat a few of those too).. and the girls act like girls and the boys act like boys LONG before social expectations can have any effect on them.

I am no doctor but I would say that how we act has a to do with our hormones and our genes a lot more then social expectations.

I would disagree with you though. I believe that the most common is Social expectations... however it is on the local community that sets those expectations. That culture whether it be by CITY, TOWN, county, state, or region (northwest, west, tristate etc out here) all those do have major impacts on what the expectation is... Mostly it is local communities in Montana we see the "cowboy way" for outside the towns, or city way for inside the towns. In the 4 large cities here (Missoula, Helena, Great falls, Boseman) they actually have boroughs that still set expectation for the tradition of that area. small towns still set their own expectations and like peyton place you know about them in a hurry if you are new to "that little" town.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I don't know, I really have no desire to hold hands with my guy friends and skip so the girls doing it doesn't bother me.

I might also add, teenage girls are unbelievably retarded.

[sarah_ab]

I might also add, teenage girls are unbelievably retarded.

hahahah I sooo totally completely and utterly agree with this!

i work in a dorm filled with them!

[Yvhuce]

Also... What's with them not figuring out how to put the seat down for themselves? You never hear about a guy "falling in".

[Junibug 4 Lucy]

my friends and family will get a hug everytime i see them and when i leve...and i will give out hugs if they seem at all upset...while they seem to except this from me, i have seen them regect it from others....i guess they no that it's just me and the way i am...and they have happily accepted that....

me and my sister do skip along toghet holding hands...somtimes when we just messing near people and often while walking alone or with family in remote places...

i dont acctully no were i am going with this post but just though i'd put how i am...

but if somone i knew came upto me and said 'i had a bad day, can i get a hug?' they will get one from me....

hugs

juniper

xxx

[peelover]

You need to meet better girls.

My social group hugs all time time. It's common courtesy.

Where is this group located? If I came would you all hug me?

[sarah_ab]

Where is this group located? If I came would you all hug me?

see this is whats worrisome, what exactly is you approach to getting hugs from people? I mean a large majority of people are going to be taken aback if you had just met them and then ask for a hug... its just weird and creapy... it makes you seem desparate.. which you may be, but you dont wanna come across that way.

[fluff]

I try to get my colleauges to give me a hug and hug more in the office but they're quite reluctant. Especially one who will learn to spread the love.

Can't beat a decent hug.

[Angela Bauer]

I try to get my colleauges to give me a hug and hug more in the office but they're quite reluctant. Especially one who will learn to spread the love.

Can't beat a decent hug.

Time and place. Being appropriate.

There are laws and regulations about sexual harassment in many jurisdictions. Trying to get hugs from co-workers can cause major trouble, especially if it is the person supervising requesting the hugs. My sincere advice as an experience corporate attorney is to wait to "spread the love" until you are far away from your place of employment.

[fluff]

Time and place. Being appropriate.

There are laws and regulations about sexual harassment in many jurisdictions. Trying to get hugs from co-workers can cause major trouble, especially if it is the person supervising requesting the hugs. My sincere advice as an experience corporate attorney is to wait to "spread the love" until you are far away from your place of employment.

Advice taken and noted.

If someone would have a browse into my firm though, the lawsuits that could be started are endless.

Assault for not hitting a target, racial discrimination, working hours and conditions and yes, sexual harassment etc

[Bettypooh]

Who and what people are define social expectation which in turns defines who and what people are?

I hear that kind of thing said a lot but it seems very circular... I hear religion blamed a lot for social expectations, but the same people who blame religion say religion is just made up by a bunch of people.. which ties right back into the social expectations circular reasoning.

Not trying to be rude, Jabez.. just politely disagreeing.

I have babysat a lot of little boys and girls (like ages 0-5... not adult babies.. although I have babysat a few of those too).. and the girls act like girls and the boys act like boys LONG before social expectations can have any effect on them.

I am no doctor but I would say that how we act has a to do with our hormones and our genes a lot more then social expectations.

How we act does have something to do with our inner chemistry but much of our behavior is learned behavior, pushed upon is from the beginning of life when the first receiving blanket we go into is either blue or pink. Some of us need purple blankies but we don't get them because of the social pressure to conform to stupid social 'norms' our parents have bowed to in society. Just because I have a penis can never make me a man, a male, a guy, or anything which I am not Just because the doctor saw my penis and said "It's a boy" only means that he sees me that way yet it's obvious that he has no experience with me to know that his observation is correct. The only thing he can be certain of at that point is that I have a penis- he doesn't yet (and may never) know what organs are inside my body. When those awaiting the news of the birth hear the doctor's assessment and follow along with equally invalid assessment the social programming begins

This leads to people suffering wrongly as they have to play a role which is not who they are just to survive in society. With the world finding out that she had internal male organs recently led to a scandal in the world athletic scene for one runner. She is a she, born with a vagina and she always saw herself that way as did those social deciders who raised her. Now people have ruined her life over something she didn't know about and had no control over. What should have been a high-water mark of her achievements has turned into a living horror because of people who uphold the structure of social normalcy. Nobody seems to care that she had nothing to do with the scandal they created but will not accept the responsibility for creating, nor do they make any effort to correct their erroneous ways. Instead they place the blame on an innocent person because she is but one and they are many which allows them to do evil without suffering for it

I can hug my friends- if they were so ashamed of the bond between us that we couldn't hug when we needed to then they're not worthy of being my friend- or anyone elses friend either Yet most of the world is that way- so worried about what someone else thinks that they hide their real selves so deep in the closet that they never really know who they are. They only know that unless they uphold their image they will suffer from the world's scorn for not fitting into the social 'norm'. If the social norm is to not be who you really are openly, then it is not normal when viewed with a rational mind and as such becomes insanity.

I make an effort to not make those around me uncomfortable because I care about them and their comfort- I want them to do the same for me and I abhor hypocrisy. But I am not going to conform to all their standards all of the time, especially when my own standards are higher and far more correct than theirs are Society and it's abnormal 'norms' needs to be woke up so that those who have the real problems- bigotry, hate, intolerance, greed, and malice- become the ones who suffer because of them. If I wear a dress to work I can do exactly the same thing I do without wearing a dress, thus there is no problem with my doing it. But because some people will not be able to do their job properly based on their inability to keep their noses out of everyone else's business and work on fixing their problems, I do not wear a dress to work, even though some days I would really love to. I suffer because of people like you even though you are in the wrong and I am not

Take that to another level and replace "dress" with "diapers" and then you can now see for yourself what society does to all of us including yourself. If people quit doing what everyone else wanted them to do, then everyone who was not wrong could be much happier. Whatever happened to those in the wrong wouldn't cause others to suffer much because they would no longer wield any power to make others change for their own selfish comfort. The world would go on with less stress, less strife, and more overall happiness that way. Shame would be relegated to those who deserve it instead of those who now suffer from it. Nobody would be surprised with people changing because everyone would be doing it. Nobody would care if you wore diapers or not- and for us that would be a definite plus

Just remember that it's you and those like you that has caused yourself as well as the rest of us here to not be able to do what we want to do and be who we are without shame and suffering from the wrongfulness of the 'social norms' you are embracing and upholding here We aren't the problem and that leaves little question as to who is....and now you know why that's true.

Bettypooh

[curiositykilledthecat]

Also... What's with them not figuring out how to put the seat down for themselves? You never hear about a guy "falling in".

okay, I technically did that once when I was five.

[curiositykilledthecat]

I'm not very huggish, however I'm not anti-hug. I'm very affectionate to those I know and sort of the polar opposite to those I don't. I tend to be rather sociable with all though.

[dl_ashlee]

I'm not very huggish, however I'm not anti-hug. I'm very affectionate to those I know and sort of the polar opposite to those I don't. I tend to be rather sociable with all though.

Society sucks!

Though I love my group of friends that each one pretty much has their own boundaries as to what level of closeness they are comfortable with. I certainly was a bit taken back by guys hugging and such when I started hanging out with them. And if you don't know someone all that well you can ask them if they would like a hug. And everyone feels safe as if a person doesn't respect another persons boundaries they will certainly be warned by the group and is given the boot if it becomes a habit, I think it pretty much has only happened like 2 times. This is with a group of people of about 20 I know fairly well and probably another 30-40 that I have meant only a couple times. So ya it's pretty awesome knowing a group of people that can be affectionate with each other with out fear of it being something sexual.

[curiositykilledthecat]

Ironically I got used to hugging at church. I still rather just shake hands though. The worst is the italian kiss on the cheek thing that the men do. Not gonna happen.

[Missy Q]

I would love it if more guys were huggy and affectionate to their friends.

I'm growing so tired of the standard male social expectation, which consist mostly of: Tough, homophobic, egotistical, immensely rude, and just generally being a all-around asshole. I hate that. I really wish guys could actually express themselves without being called a "faggot". ( A word I despise when used in that matter)

[Diapers4Ever]

Time and place. Being appropriate.

There are laws and regulations about sexual harassment in many jurisdictions. Trying to get hugs from co-workers can cause major trouble, especially if it is the person supervising requesting the hugs. My sincere advice as an experience corporate attorney is to wait to "spread the love" until you are far away from your place of employment.

That post makes me think of this clip from the series "NCIS: Naval Criminal Investigative Service"

Sexual Harrassment Seminar - NCIS - Season 4, Episode 11 - "Driven"

[Knuxie Fawks]

Well, as odd as society is, if guys do it, they're thought to be gay. I love to cuddle and I'm not gay! Also, I have skipped in public.

[tenderheart]

No Way! Have any of you guys met ravers before? Seriously, I hug my friends all the time. Some of them know me for it. Mind you I don't hug all my friends because they aren't all comfortable with it. You do have to respect personal boundaries. Not all guys are cookie cutter stereotypes, if I couldn't be affectionate to my friends well I would have to find different friends because I don't think it would work out.

The people I hang out with are not what you would call the church choir either, it's not that they are effeminate men. They just care about me, I mean some of these people have full sleeve tattoos and piercings. Not the kind of person you would walk up to and hug but trust me they need a hug like everyone else

Oh, and knuxie I love to cuddle too. It's great and all affection/touching doesn't have to be sexual. It doesn't make you gay, despite would homophobes will tell you, I agree.

[Diapers4Ever]

I'm really not sure where to voice my opinion on this, but this seems as close a topic as any, so here goes.

A lot of you guys mentioned the probelm being with society earlier and I definitely agree. One thing that really bothers me and I'm sure has done some psychological harm to me is the way society (by which, in this case, I mean the Hollywood industry) characterizes males caring for young children over females. I can't count how many times I've seen TV shows do an episode where they've had males care for babies or toddlers and they're painted as completely inept. I know this is done for laughs (we get the joke, guys; ha ha, a man can't care for a baby...ha ha), but, to people like myself, it makes me think that that's the way society views our gender. I've always been kind of uncomfortable around young children (i.e. 3 and under) because I feel that I've been, I guess you could say, brainwashed by the Hollywood stereotype that males are supposed to basically shy away from caring for young children because, as another user mentioned, they're supposed to be seen as "tough" and seeing them cooing and baby-talking to a young child contradicts that image so some of us shy away from doing things like that. I'm sure there have been plenty of episodes of TV or film where they have shown male characters caring for young children where they were perfectly capable, although I hate to say it, but it seems that the Hollywood industry is content with portraying my gender as inept when it comes to child-care.

To be honest, the only episode I can remember offhand where something like this actually took a positive turn to squash that stereotype was "The Baby in the Bough" episode of "Bones"...which was a nice change of pace, I'll say, with the male being written as the seasoned pro and the female being written as the rookie and not having a lot of experience.

I'm sorry to take your time with that, guys; I just had that thought on my mind and I figured "What better place to share it?"

[loopy]

Or saying "I'm going for a fag"

I would love it if more guys were huggy and affectionate to their friends.

I'm growing so tired of the standard male social expectation, which consist mostly of: Tough, homophobic, egotistical, immensely rude, and just generally being a all-around asshole. I hate that. I really wish guys could actually express themselves without being called a "faggot". ( A word I despise when used in that matter)

Thats not standard male social expectations, that's standard teenager social expectations... big difference.

And I think Girls are allowed to act more childish, I know plenty of women who still have cuddly toys etc. And some of the pajamas made for girls wouldn't look out of place on a two year old. Men have to hide that childish side in terms of things. Which is probably why most men are immature