Those Of You With Kids

[Guest Dodi]

i was just wondering what those of you with kids go about your business lol.

do they know or dont you tell them

[enfant]

Well, my kid doesn't know. I keep the diapers hidden under regular clothes, and the rest of the baby stuff put away out of sight, when he's awake and at home. If he's asleep or at school, I can indulge more openly.

The only thing he's ever noticed and asked about is the fact that I have stuffed animals in my room. But he has no particular reason to think that's unusual--he only brought it up because he was hoping I'd give them to him.

[gweg]

My kids all know about my diapers as they are out in the open and I usually go around the house when it is warm in just my cloth diapers and onesie, if mom (the wife) is home or they see me taking my disposable diapers and bag when we go on trips, camping, and such. My Ab stuff they don't see much of, or say anything other than when a few times when they were young seeing my bottle out, as we keep that hidden in the bedroom. We don't normally discuss that with them but the diapers are out in the open with them.

My diapers started out in an accident so I'm a little different. But the Ab style was/is my coping method.

[SassyGirl]

I'm glad this topic came up as it is one Brian and I have touched on several times out of curiosity. I feel as though there is a portion of the baby/mommy or daddy relationship that should take place behind closed doors. However I don't feel that every aspect of mom/dad being an ab should be hidden. I think, to me, I would be more focused on what do you say to children if the house contains an ab nursery. I would be interested to hear thoughts this as well.

[Teddy Bear Brian]

Well Nicky told her oldest (22) but we avoid the subject with her like the plague. The middle child I know has found stuff and he doesn't say anything and we haven't told him anything so he probably made some assumptions. I don't think the youngest (14) knows anything. However I do have a teddy bear openly in my room. I try not to be seen sleeping with it but its always on my side of the bed and on the floor. Suprising as many fights as we have had they have NEVER mentioned any of it.

[Angela Bauer]

Growing up my Mom, Granny and Aunt Betsy were open that all were profoundly urinary incontinent.

My youngest sister Missy, who has no bladder control, gave birth to her daughter in January 1990. Assuming that girl would eventually have bladder problems, Missy decided to be upfront about incontinence and adult diapers.

Missy was discreet about using AB as a coping strategy, but hardly tried to keep it a deep top secret. My nice, who has needed diapers at bedtime since she was 12, considers AB "silly" but it does not upset her.

[BabyMikey74]

My son doesn't know about me having to wear diapers. And I want to keep it that way. Kids,especially teenage kids,are cruel. My son is autistic,but is well aware of his peers,and normal teenage things.

I know I'll hear the PC Crowd come out of the woodwork. But their cliches don't change the fact that the world is cold and not understanding. The Sticks and Stones theory,never applies in the real world.

If the subject does come up,I'll deal with it accordingly. But for now,he will never know about this.

***Baby Mikey***

[wildstar5]

My children don't know, and they don't need to. If you are incontinent, I would think they are already used to mommie or daddy needing and diapers and it is normal for them. For others like me, it is a personal choice. Diapers are a part of who I am. There is no reason to tell them, unless they accidently find out.

[Nat]

But I don't think a two year old or a three year old or even a four year old is going to understand their parent needs them. They won't understand the difference about needing and what it means. All the parent can do is hide them from their kids and not let them see them in their diapers. But don't they feel them on them when they are being hold or if they grab onto them or hug them?

I don't think I can give mine up so all I can do is hope my child will be interested in quitting and not care that mommy wears. I also don't find it fair to force a kid out of diapers if I get to wear but not my kid.

[curiositykilledthecat]

regardless of whatever I'm doing by the time I have kids, I am going to potty train and all that jazz. If my kid is into kinky stuff i rather not know.

[Daddy_Dave]

I don't think I can give mine up so all I can do is hope my child will be interested in quitting and not care that mommy wears. I also don't find it fair to force a kid out of diapers if I get to wear but not my kid.

You have a good point there.

[babykeiff]

When my daughter was born, I didn't hide the fact that I wore - to do so would have been deceitful, and a child can see through this deception and learn - incorrectly - that is ok to lie and deceive. My daughter chose the time herself to toilet train, and since I was so open about wearing, she never questioned that I wore. Yes, at times, my daughter would ask to be diapered, but this was her own way of looking for in depth caring and nurturing. I can state with confidence that my daughter had her own mind and wishes - and would not have grown up to be interested in the AB world, despite how I felt. She understood completely, that at times, adults need nurturing and caring just as she did.

My goddaughter - almost my daughters twin, now aged 12, is also aware (from her birth) that I wore, and also accepted it as the norm for me. She, when younger, like my own daughter, would also ask to be diapered, for similar reasons, and is now a well adjusted, very considerate and tolerant young girl. She is actually one of the most popular within her peer group due to her acceptance of all others. The problems arise at her birthday parties when she has to limit her guests to a small group - which, in my opinion, is not a bad situation to find oneself in. Her tenth birthday, about 70% of her school was in attendance, as was about 50% of the children in the neighborhood. It was organized in McDonald - her choice, - so the costs of renting a large hall etc would not have to be borne by her father, his wife or myself. The child count alone at that venue was over 400, and my god-daughter knew each one personally.

My own daughter, at aged 3, was friends with every child in the neighborhood, knowing them personally. Often, on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, there would be 40 or more children of all ages (1 - 8) with their parents in our back garden playing happily together.

It is a common failing to underestimate what a child is aware of. Just because a child is too young to speak, does not state that he/she is not aware of everything around him/her. The parent of a second child can easily see how their infant fusses when the family visits a venue that makes the parents uncomfortable. Many here have stated that their children is unaware of their diaper usage. This is simply false. It is more correct that their children don't care that their parent(s) wear diapers. Also, there is no correlation to the statement that children of AB parents will be ABs. It is more likely that children of AB parents will not be as dependent on diapers or AB needs as their parents due to the fact that they will be able to accept it and not be as self judgmental as their parents are to their own desires.

A good parent teaches their children. A great parent communicates with their children, and learns from their children.

To explain the bond between my wife, my god-daughter and myself - since my god-daughter and my daughter was born (within the same week), and I primarily worked from home, as did my wife, we would gladly take care of my god-daughter during the week while my brother and his wife were working contract away from home.

[babykeiff]

babykeiff,

Did you allow your daughter and god-daughter to be diapered when they asked, or did you say no? I have no idea what I'll do if/when I have children and they asked me to do that.

Yes I did diaper them both when they asked, but I also understood, and still understand, that people despite their physical age, will chose to regress to a more comfortable time of their life at times during their life - to do so, or to let someone do so is extremly healthy.

shydiaper,

what you and others have to understand - diapers with me does not mean that I am a baby - and baby play does not involve sexual release - sex or fetish with diapers is as offending to me as peodiphilia. Diapers with my children is only a regression to a earlier less complicated time of life, and accepting a child as a human with a mind and opinion is prime.

I really don't care what a person physically looks like - all I am interested in is their mind - do they use it to its full potential. It is my job, as a parent, to instill these values to the best of my ability.

Shydiaper, you state that you have no idea to how you will react if your children ask you to do that - can I rephrase the question - if your child, at 10 years of age, needed glasses to be able to see, what would you do - pay for the glasses, or pay for laser surgery? The laser surgery will mean that your child will not need glasses during the next 10 years, which means that he/she will not get made fun of during school etc, but it will also mean that s/he will need them after the 10 years and that laser surgery will not be an option. The other option of getting glasses will give him/her the option of laser surgery later, but will also force him/her to face the hazing during school. Also, facing the hazing will teach the child that people will try and make fun of him/her.

When making decisions like this, there is never the right choice, but a compromise. - I made the choice to diaper my children when they asked as it sated what they wanted at the time, comforted them, and did not hurt them. The action made them stronger. I knew that, which is probably the core reason for the questions here, that the children are not looking for diapers for sexual reasong, but only for comfort. What parent will not try to comfort their child? I will, even if it costs my life, as will most parents, support and comfort, to the best of my ability, and not condone their actions however infantile it may seem to the general public. It is NOT the general public that are raising my children.

[ultrapampers]

sex or fetish with diapers is as offending to me as peodiphilia

WHAT?!?! Do you realize you're equating people who have a sexual attraction to an inanimate object--a diaper in this case--to people who desire sex with pre-pubescent children? By the way, the former is probably 80-90% of the people on this board (and I sincerely hope the latter is completely absent from this board).

My next words were going to be, "FUCK YOU!", but I won't let my anger at your ignorant statement get the better of me, and I won't write "FUCK YOU!" here at all.

Instead, I'll ask you to reconsider or clarify what you wrote above, as the consequences and impact on others from the two, totally unrelated -phillias, are far, far different. I simply don't want to believe that a fellow AB/DL would perpetuate the single most damaging misconception that exists about our community.

However, if you truly stand by what you wrote, then...

What the hell are you doing here, surrounded by people who are offensive to you?

[diaperboyMKE]

Her tenth birthday, about 70% of her school was in attendance, as was about 50% of the children in the neighborhood. It was organized in McDonald - her choice, - so the costs of renting a large hall etc would not have to be borne by her father, his wife or myself. The child count alone at that venue was over 400, and my god-daughter knew each one personally.

I call BS. 400 kids in a MCDonalds? notta chance. TTIWWOP.

[AutieAB]

sex or fetish with diapers is as offending to me as peodiphilia.

You've made a strange choice of forum to be part of then!!!! You do realise you've just offended about 95% of members here, don't you?

...

Anyway, back to the subject in hand, Neither of my stepkids know. They don't have the right to know that information and I don't have the right to inflict that information upon them. I think it's important for kids to learn that some things, even things that happen in their own house, are simply none of their business.

Put it this way - would you sit your kids down and tell them that "Daddy likes being tied up and whipped while Madam calls him 'dirty boy'?" Of course not. Why is AB/DL any different?

They both understand that our bedroom is a private area and that when the door is closed they knock and wait if they want in. Like I said, it's important to learn that there are boundaries of privacy in this world and the private activities of other people is one of those places you just don't pry into.

[Nat]

And parents don't tell their kids they have sex and how they like having it.

[babykeiff]

I guess I should clarify my statement since it seems to offend two people (AuntieAB, Ultrapampers), or prob more here. I am one of those people who think that sex and diapers do not mix. I see diapers and infantile actions as sweet, innocent, a source of comfort, strength, caring and nuturing, and to associate diapers with sex is a tearing the innocence away from it. To me, diapers and sex is as vile as peodiphilia - and I am fully aware of the impact of my statement.

AuntieAB, Ultrapampers - I do not think that I have offended 80-90% of the members here, and for you to think so is that YOU are making the assumption that 80 - 90% of members here use diapers only for sexual release.

Please READ what I stated -

... offending to me ...

- that is MY choice and Ultrapampers is stating 'FUCK YOU'! How dare you! How dare you try and change my choice and my opinion. WHo do you think you are to force your opinions on me? I was asked for MY opinion, and you think that since you dont seem to have the capability to correctly read, or understand what I type, that you have the right to force your opinion on me!.

Do you even understand what a fetish is? It seems to me that you have assumed that everyone here, except the incontinent, wear diapers only for sexual relief. The true fact is - if you ever bothered to read the posts, that people worldwide chose to wear diapers for various reasons, and it being for sexual releif is not always the reason. If a diaper is NOT a fetish object ( for sexual releif) to the person wearing them, then correspondingly, diaper wearing is not a fetish! It seems to me that you one of the people who ignorantly associate diapers, diaper wearers, AB's, DLs as a fetish!

I have been posting here since 2007, and this is the first time I have to defend one of my posts. I joined this forum cause I thought that the people here were educated, open-minded, accepting, non-judgemental and caring - am I incorrect?

After all that, diaperMKE decides that I am not telling the truth. FYI - It was McDonalds, Kylmore Road, Dubin, and the capacity of that restaurant is 550 people. Yes, it was packed, and yes I do have photographs, but I will not post any of my family photographs on this site. If my wife & daughter was alive, that number would have easily doubled.

[Brudda Voodu]

I love the internet. Where else can we say what ever we choose without face or fear of reprisal? Before this turns into another pissing and moaning fest about all the shit we have seen argued about before lets just drop it, why does every person feel they need to have a rebuttal?

Anyway I have 2 children, my oldest is 3 and my youngest is still an infant. If I were to say I have never worn around them I would be a liar. But my oldest also does not know when I am wearing or that I do. At this young age it is easy to hide and be discreet. I do not want my children to know that their Dad likes wearing and using diapers, this isnt to say we should all hide behind closed doors and feel ashamed either. At the point that I feel my children are old enough or mature enough to understand, and only if I feel I owe them an explanation will I tell them. Picture this, your own father walking around casually in a soiled adult diaper. Not something I would like to subject my kids to, even though they are my children I owe them the same respect and decency that I would offer anyone else I love. I dont imagine they would like to have the picture of me in a soiled adult diaper in their mind. Enjoying my fetish/lifestyle/whatever is something special for me and my wife, I would consider it rude or tacky to display it or billboard it to people who would rather not be a part of it or view it.

[AutieAB]

I thought that the people here were educated, open-minded, accepting, non-judgemental

/me walks away laughing

[sarah_ab]

ok so there is this REALLY good website... its called dictionary.com and when you go there you can type in ANY word and get a definition assuming it is a verified word.. lets try fetish shall we?

fet·ish also fet·ich (fět'ĭsh, fē'tĭsh)

n.

1. An object that is believed to have magical or spiritual powers, especially such an object associated with animistic or shamanistic religious practices.

2. An object of unreasonably excessive attention or reverence: made a fetish of punctuality.

3. Something, such as a material object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.

4. An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment; a fixation.

this definition is from The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition

Copyright © 2009 by Houghton Mifflin Company.

you can have an abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment to diapers, diapers can be an object of unreasonable excessive attention and reverence.. and oh my gosh.. what is that.. sex is no where involved in that!!!

so a person can have a fetish and it has nothing to do with sex.

I know what the definition of fetish is

how about this

fetish

1613, fatisso, from Port. fetiço "charm, sorcery," originally feitiço "made artfully, artificial," from L. facticius "made by art," from facere "to make" (see factitious). L. facticius in Sp. has become hechizo "magic, witchcraft, sorcery." Probably introduced by Port. sailors and traders as a name for charms and talismans worshipped by the inhabitants of the Guinea coast of Africa. Popularized in anthropology by C. de Brosses' Le Culte des Dieux Fétiches (1760), which influenced the word's spelling in Eng. (Fr. fétiche, also from the Port. word). Figurative sense of "something irrationally revered" is Amer.Eng. 1837. Fetishism in the purely psycho-sexual sense first recorded 1897 in writings of Henry Havelock Ellis (1859-1939).

from Online Etymology Dictionary, © 2001 Douglas Harper

or how about a medical dictionary

fetish fet·ish (fět'ĭsh, fē'tĭsh)

n.

1. Something, such as an object or a nonsexual part of the body, that arouses sexual desire and may become necessary for sexual gratification.

2. An abnormally obsessive preoccupation or attachment.

The American Heritage® Stedman's Medical Dictionary

even the medical community acknowledges it isn't always sexual.

[superdiaperbaby]

Ok avoiding the flaming nonsense I am also wondering about what to do. My first baby is due in September. I think the diapers will be a non-issue for the first year and a half. Then when the kid notices things I will hide it. Now the liberal side of me says be yourself and teach him that he should be himself. But the conservative side of me says it could scar him in the future. I remember reading a story about a famous musician who was scarred by his father crossdressing around him. By scarred I mean he ended up killing himself. I am sure that was not the only reason why, but from his autobiography he was deeply troubled by it.

My wife also thinks hiding it is best, so that kind of makes it an easy decision. I think if I was truly open with the world about being a DL then I wouldn't mind who knew and I could teach him to be totally honest about everything. However, as an adult I recognize brutal honesty is brutal and one thing I do not want to be to my own child is brutal. Now maybe when he is older and if I deem him capable of understanding the whole thing with an open mind I might tell him. Who knows what he will be like? I think always measuring the pros and cons will be a lifelong endeavor.

SDB

[sarah_ab]

i guess my thing is... do your children need to know EVERYTHING about you.

Do your friends know every single thing about you? every thought, every desire, every fantasy, every action you commited in the past?

Does your SO know every single thing about you? every thought, fantasy, desire, every food you have tried, every movie you enjoy (and i mean EVERY), every book you have read... why are diapers an essential thing your children must know about yout?

I understand if you have a medical reason for wearing them, and as such the child may be with you when you purchase them, or when you are packing for a family vacation and put them in a bag. But if its just something you chose to engage in for comfort, for security, or for sexual reasons, why oh why do they need to know?

I mean there are lots of things i do for comfort that i dont tell my boyfriend about. Am i lying to him by not telling him? no i am simply having a private life, separate from the one i love.

Now i do not have children, so i cannot speak from experience, but having worked as a live in nanny for over a year, where i was essentially another parent in the home, and knew the parents themselves quite well, i can tell you there were things the parents enjoy for rest and relaxation that they did not tell their children about, that they engaged in while their children were not present or tucked in bed for hte night. So i can't understand why its essential you tell your children about diaper wearing.

[babykeiff]

I will tell you about an experiment, a german scientist and parent performed. During the first 6 months of his daughters life, he played French, Polish and English language tapes at low volumn in her nursery, and Chineese and Italian tapes in the living room (far end of the house) - all at low volumn, and all while his daughter slept. When his daughter started to speak at 20+ months, she could not only speak in German, but also in French, English, Polish, Chineese and Italian.

The reason I tell you this is to enforce the point that a child is aware of EVERYTHING in their suroundings - and it is the adult that is being decieved, not the child. This amound of information overload is not limited to a child - it is constant. If you have ever been in an accident, you will recal that everything seemed to travel very slowly as if somehow the passage of time was elongated. This is your own mind recalling all the detail of that accident at the speed that your concious mind can handle it.

Just because you didn't tell, or choose to hide something, does NOT mean that your children is any less aware of it.

Sarah_AB,

I agree with you in that a diaper CAN be a fetish object, in the same way it CAN be magical. I disagree with the dictionary term 'abnormal' since that term is subjective. What I am stating simply, which others here dont seem to be able to comprehend is that a diaper to me is NOT a fetish object as 1- I am incontinent and 2- I am not obsessed with, nor have a fixation to, or a preoccupation or attachment to diapers. Diapers are a functional garment, as is an umbrella on a wet day etc - both keep your clothes dry. Does that correlation mean that an umbrella, or by extrapolation, any object that is used for its intended purpose is a fetish object?

[PampersPete]

It has been said that there are over 5,000 sexual fetishes. I have no doubt that someone,somewhere is jerking off to spatula porn right now as I type this trying to justify his existence. Point being? There is no real point seeing as life is a fleeting moment in the hourglass of life. Be one my brothers and sisters. Be one...