Could This Fetish Be An Addiction?

[Diaper_Me]

I've worn diapers for many years and never really thought about why. I just knew that i enjoyed it and it wasn't hurting anyone else, so why worry about it.

But recently read an article online from a psychologist who was treating a patient who was an adult baby. The doctor stated that it was well known that this fetish was caused by a traumatic incident during early childhood. This got me wondering why I enjoy wearing diapers myself. It also started me reflecting back on my history in diapers.

I know of no traumatic incident in my childhood. My parents divorced when I was around 10 and I started wearing diapers shortly after that, so I guess that could be it. But, I don't really consider 10 being early childhood. I consider my childhood prior to the divorce as being very happy. It went to crap after the divorce, but if that's the cause wouldn't it be more logical for me to revert to being a 9 year old just prior to the divorce?

Then, when thinking about the years that I've worn diapers it was clear that they have become more and more part of my life. I do feel that at times they even interfere with my normal life. For example I have many times forgone doing things with friends or family just to stay home and wear diapers (and their is more). It is very evident that my mood changes when i am unable to wear diapers for an extended period of time (I get down right crabby). If I were to remove the word diapers from the things I have done and replace it with drugs, I think there would be no doubt that I would be considered an addict.

So, what you you think? Could this be an addiction? Are you addicted? Should we seek treatment? I don't want to stop, but neither do drug addicts.

[Nat]

Yeah they can be a problem if they stop you from doing things. But you can go out in your diapers and hang out with friends in them and family. I've done lot of things in my diapers when I wore 24/7.

I know I emotionally need my diapers because I am more happier but I don't need to wear them all the time. It can get expensive and with cloth, you wash but my landlord charges us to do our laundry so I have to put quarters in them to wash and dry my linen, including my diapers. I don't wash my diapers everyday. I soak them in a bucket and then I dump the water out and wring them out and take the bucket down to the laundry room and dump them in the washer.

I was so dependant on them I get really really depressed without one on. I had to bring them with me down to Mexico when I went with my family.

I don't think I can stop wearing completely. I'm going to have to find a way I can still wear them when I have kids. My bf has said we'd keep our bedroom door locked but my kid can still feel them on me if he or she accidently grabs me down there. You know how little kids grab you and hug you and sometimes their arms touch your butt and your hips and worst of all because they are so young, they don't know what is embarrassing and what should be kept private so they might say "Mommy wears diapers." But then I have been told people wouldn't believe my child anyway if he or she says it. people might think my kid would be talking about when I get my period and maybe my child is referring to my pads or maybe I have a medical condition. I think I am just going to enjoy my diapers for now and my AB clothes and worry about this stuff later when the time comes.

I don't ever plan on ever seeking treatment.

[Vic]

I don't know so much about EVERYBODY here having traumatic experiences during early childhood. A lot of people have had a very happy childhood and still came out being AB/DL, at least that is what they believe. Hard to really tell, as your memories from that time aren't really available to most of us.

I did have trauma during my entire childhood, but everybody has had some trauma in their life. From what I do remember, and what I've discussed with family members I can understand why I have AB/DL tendencies.

Back in the late 50's they didn't know as much about pre-natal care as they do now, and as I was my mom's third child, my dad was on her about her weight, so she asked the doctor about it and he prescribed her "diet pills", which were pretty much speed (she says that she lost weight during the entire pregnancy). I was born sickly with very bad bronchial asthma, (although I eventually got over it about the time I was 12), and kept coming down with pnumonia, so she had to leave me in the hospital a lot (she had 2 kids at home to care for). I guess that I felt rejected by her, and in return I rejected HER (I know, "how can you reject your mom?").

I know this because she told me many times about how when I was old enough to speak I would walk up to her and put my arms up like I wanted to be picked up, but when she bent down to pick me up I would drop my arms and tell her "I hate you, I really hate you" and then turn my back on her and walk off, and before that, back when I didn't know how to speak, when she tried to cuddle me I was always pushing away from her like I didn't want to be held by her.

She told me that that made her want to rip my head off many times, and other times made her want to cry. We never really got along, and there were five of us kids, so when she didn't know who broke something, or made a mess she always seemed to blame it on me, and beat the crap out of me, which didn't do much for fostering closeness between the two of us, it did the opposite.

My father was abusive, so I didn't really bond with him either, and all of us brothers (my sister was the oldest) were born about a year apart, and the sibling rivalry in our home was borderline homicidal. We sent each other to the hospital for stiches or broken bones a lot.

So my childhood was traumatic, so perhaps the psychiatrist has a point, but I think I'd rather have a larger sampling of AB's and DL's before I made a statement that all people who have this fetish had childhood trauma, and that was the cause of it. As far as I can see that's too much of a blanket statement, one that implies that this is a DISORDER if it is a disorder, then wouldn't it be something that needs to be "cured"?

Does being an AB or DL mean that I'm sick? What am I? Some kind of pervert? Or am I insane, needing to be "healed"? I honestly don't think that this is a disorder in me, but something that gives me comfort, and as long as it doesn't affect anybody elses life I don't see what is wrong with it. I don't tell everybody, and I don't parade around in diapers for John Q to see.

Is this an addiction? I don't think it is, because I've known I was an AB/DL (although I didn't have a label for it back then) from my earliest childhood memory, how can a child that young be an addict? It's a part of me that has always been there, and, I'm sure, always will be.

So I'm not sure of anything other than that is a part of me that has always been there, and it helps me cope with this life, I feel better when I am padded down there, and I resent people who think that this is a disease (like an addiction) or a disorder (where I am somehow damaged) and needing to be fixed. What do others here think?

Let me know........I am curious, and who better to ask than OTHER AB'S AND DL'S??? As far as the psycologists (who I think more of than I do psychiatrists) or psychiatrists go, well, they don't have a big enough sampling of us to really get a good picture of who, and what we are. We are a rare species to them, and I think that most of them are simply giving our peculiar fetish their best (although educated) guess.

So please, PLEASE, think about our "condition" (even though it varies very, very much from AB to AB and DL to DL) and put YOUR two cents worth into this thread, because I am still VERY curious as to the "where" and "how" this came to being in each and every one of us.

Rock on,

Vic

[bobbyc]

This post is a little different from the others but still sticks to the 'is this an addiction' topic.

When I think of an addiction, like smoking, I see it as something that starts out casually and then sort of snowballs into something more permanent. In my case, I wore diapers here and there for many years until I would go longer stretches being 24/7 up until a year or so ago where I have been in diapers 24/7, period. I am slowly losing bladder control and if I don't stop wearing diapers I will become incontinent. And, in this case, it would take a lot of work to 'quit' diapers, i.e., potty-train.

Don't know if that is what you were looking for when you asked if this fetish could be an 'addiction', but that is how I view it as an addiction.

[FretaBWet]

I don't know if this is an addiction but I will say that it resembles one if you look at it. My earliest memory of wanting diapers was my mother catching me in my younger sister's room pulling on a pair of her plastic baby pants. My mother was pissed and asked me why and like the stupid kid I was I told her I was teaching my baby sister how to get dressed. My sister is 3 years younger than me and she would have been out of diapers by 2 or 3 at the latest so the oldest I could have been at this time was 6 but probably around 5. Even at that age I was still not able to keep dry during the day and was constantly having accidents. When we visited my cousins they had a shed with a lot of stuff stored in there and there was a stroller. I can remember I would wait for an opportunity to be alone and I'd go into the shed and sit in it.

As for this being triggered by trauma or abuse I can't say that was the case with me. Unless the birth of my sister could be considered trauma and who knows, maybe it was in my mind. If anything I would suspect that it was triggered by feelings of loss and not being loved by my parents. My mother was not a demonstrative person, my in-laws had a name for her which I won't print here and she was also the disciplinarian in the family. My father was somewhat dominated in their relationship and I grew up not respecting him at all. As a consequence I never felt close to him either.

I also grew up feeling like I should have been a girl but I knew that I could never let that secret see the light of day. As I was growing up I would go through phases of using either girls clothes as my relief valve or diapers. I would do one until it got a little stale and then switch off. After I transitioned and became female the clothes held no interest in that way anymore since they were just my clothes but I found that diapers still made me feel comforted and relaxed. It looks a lot like being addicted to alcohol and you can stop drinking if you take drugs to replace it. You're happy as long as you have access to one or the other. The big difference is that diapers won't physically harm you like destructive addictions will. I think if you keep the right frame of mind it won't psychologically harm you either. Guilt can be as destructive as drugs and alcohol imho. I know I'm not looking for any help or to be cured. I stopped taking my Detrol a couple years ago since it's just one more drug that my liver has to process and that's not good.

Hugs,

Freta

[curiositykilledthecat]

To take anything written in a psychology journal as concrete is a huge mistake. Psychology is still at best a psuedoscience. Objectivity need not apply, studies magically always support what the author wants them to. Albeit not dismissing psychology as a study, just take most of what these so called doctors say with a grain of salt.

[Guest YkDave]

Ill make another vote for not having a traumatic childhood experience...

The earliest memories i can recall of having an interest in diapers would have been when i was about 5. actually now that i think of it, i dont think i was out of diapers for very long before this...

Anyways... Nothing traumatic there... If anything it would have been when my parents split up when i was about 12 years old.

[Yvhuce]

The most traumatic moments of my childhood were the time I got trampled by a cow (which simply fuels a hatred of bovines and a love of beef) and the deaths of my dogs (mostly of old age; probly didn't have any bearing on my AB/DL tendencies). I got into diapers out of curiosity and stayed cause they feel good. But is it an addiction? No. I often find myself without the funds to stay in diapers for several months, or even a year or 2 without them and go on with life as normal.

[sarah_ab]

But recently read an article online from a psychologist who was treating a patient who was an adult baby. The doctor stated that it was well known that this fetish was caused by a traumatic incident during early childhood.

ok first off, be careful reading articles 'online' just because its online and the site may look 'official' it may not be. as a general rule of thumb, look for articles published in peer reviewed scholarly journals.

This doctor sounds like a quack however, given the complete LACK of solid statistical evidence on this and many other fetish it is completely inapropriate for the doctor to claim it is "well known" that the ab/dl fetish stems from childhood trauma.

as for can it become an addiction. Of course, ANYTHING and i seriously mean ANYTHING can become addictive, perhaps not physically but psychologically you can become addicted to anything.

If you diaper wearing is causing you significant stress, interfering with work, academics and/or your social/family life, or you are just dis satisfied with your usage, and you are unable on your own to change things, then yes seeing a therapist may be of help to you. But this is very much an individual and person thing. Many people here have no problems with their diaper wearing, experience no ill effects and have struck a balance that is right for them.

For others, this is not the case, and seeking treatment may be beneficial, but it is important to remember, the therapist cannot cure you, it is YOU who has to want change, be ready for change, be willing to accept things about yourself you may not be aware of, and be ready to actively do things to change your life.

[munkey]

I dunno if it is an addiction or some kind of emotional / psychological need...

Personally, I've notice that in the last year I haven't worn them I've gained other addictions, I've started smoking again, and smoking more pot (however, drinking less... go figure). It seems the longer I go without wearing the more I'm smoking... so maybe I do have an addiction to diapers.

The way I see it everyone has there own ways of releasing tension and stress. So long as its done in a positive manner and doesn't hurt anyone. So what if this is addiction, is it deconstructive to you life?

I've recently came to the conclusion (and this has been noted by other people who know I wear) that I'm a happier person when I'm wearing a diaper. I'm munkey, and I'm a diaper addict

[Guest YkDave]

I guess one thing that i fogot to add, and im sure alot of others are this way...

I go F'n nuts if i dont have my diapers!

Its not too big of a deal to not have them for a few days or so, here and there, but a couple weeks tops. With my previous job, i would be out of town (in the bush) for up to 6 or 7 weeks at a time and having diapers was just not possible. Well, i tell ya, by the 4th or 5th week i would already be going crazy, to the point that i would be near quitting my high paying job just to go home and get back into diapers. Though it never did go that far, diapers can really be a problem for me sometimes, almost to the point that i want to seek some help for it.

This has only really been a big issue for me over the last few years (i have definately been getting into the AB thing alot more the last few years). Before i used to be able to go months, sometimes years without diapers and it wasnt a huge issue for me.

Addiction? or something else...

[Vic]

Anything can be an addiction, all you have to do is look around you and you see it everywhere. Drug addicts, alcoholics, smokers, obese people, workaholics, the list can go on and on.

Really it comes down to one thing, either you control it, or it controlls you, plain and simple. Balance is the thing we all strive for in life, and (even with diapers), it can be achieved.

If you think that diapers are an addiction to you, then walk away....just put them down for a week....a month.....six months. If you can do this without falling apart, or coming unglued at the seems then you're doing okay, and have nothing to worry about.

If diapers keep you from fully enjoying life, well then you've got a problem, and you should address it. That doesn't mean you have to forego diapers for the rest of your life, what it means is that you should strive to find the balance where you can indulge yourself without taking away from the pleasure you get from other things in life.

Diapers are not the end all for me, I live with my SO and her son, she knows and is okay with it, but he doesn't know about my desire to wear. He does know that I wear diapers at night for bed wetting, and that , so far, is all he knows. I'm careful to not let the diapers run my life. Simple, and effective.

I can only come to this site when he's at his aunts house, or when he's asleep, no problem. I have found a balance in my life. What works for me may not work for you, but all of our situations are different, and you should take into account what your living arangements are. You don't have the same living conditions as I, so you have to figure out what your balance in your life should be.

I've lived for years without wearing diapers at all, and for then that was the way to go. Would I have been happier being able to wear them? Yes I would have, but at the time it was impracticle, but I worked things out in my life where I can be who I truly am without it causing a major problem in my life.

Like I said, either you control it, or it controlls you. Addiction only happens when you give up control of it, if you get irritable for lack of wearing, you'll find that that is just you, holding resentments against life for not being as accomodating as you'd like so far as your diaper fetish goes.

Things don't make you mad, you make yourself mad with your impatience that things aren't conducive to you getting your way at that particular time. Being mad about these things is a lot like a toddler throwing a tantrum when he doesn't get his way, so give it a rest. Take a deep breath, and realise that you are the one in control of your life. If you choose not to control your desires, well that is making a choice.

You can choose yes, you can choose no, or you can choose not to choose, but that's still a choice. Only YOU are the one who is really in control in your life. If you think this is an addiction, well then I suggest you take yourself in hand, and decide just where, what, and how you can achieve the balance you want in your life.

Rock on,

Vic

[Bettypooh]

As I see it's more like an obcession than an addiction- yet still it is something we cannot stop- we can only control parts of it and can never control the need to wear diapers in itself Addictions can be overcome but this can't (especially if you really don't want to stop which means almost all of us here) Obcessions can be controlled but not overcome entirely- the menatl part never goes away

Most of us but not all of us had childhood trauma so that sort of destroys that theory if taken alone, but there is a connection there somewhere. Perhaps that trauma combined with something else brought this to us and some people didn't need the addition of trauma to 'set it off'. Regardless I don't want to stop- even if I could It does cause problems but so does everything else so once again that alone indicates nothing I say don't worry about it, just keep it under control and be sensible about it Some of us can do OK wearing 24/7 and some of us cannot. Some of us can be 'out' and some of us cannot. These things are normal human diversity and wondering about the cause of our likes and dislikes isn't abnormal either.

To delve deeper here's a questuin for the 'thinkers' among us:

If we could find the cause of being AB and/or DL should we try to 'play god' and prevent it from happening again?

Bettypooh

[miki]

could diapers be an addiction?

yes, of course - like everything you like very much! but does it matter? if you like to ride bicycle very much - are you addicted? maybe - but do you seek treatment ... to become addicted to ride a bus?

a lot like to visit a toilet a lot of times a day - are they addicted of toilets? hhmmm - maybe - they should seekt treatment, shouldn't they?

hhmmmm ... a traumatic incident in my childhood?

hell NO ... wise men look ahead! I'm prepearing for a traumatic END of my life - imagine - maybe some day I could weak up in the morning as usual and realize that my body is dead and then he must stay dead for the rest of my life ... what a traumatic incident this would be to my spirit ... especially without diapers when he couldn't visit a toilet anymore!

it's better to be in front of a minority than to be an invisible part of the majority - isn't it? so live YOUR life as YOU like it, support others liveing THEIR life as THEY like it and don't worry about why OTHERS are different ... they can't explain you why they are not like you are, can they?

WHAT'S NORMAL? TO BE DIFFERENT! I love normality ...

[Yvhuce]

To delve deeper here's a questuin for the 'thinkers' among us:

If we could find the cause of being AB and/or DL should we try to 'play god' and prevent it from happening again?

Naw... We should "play God" and replicate it for generations, in the name of science! Gotta make sure it's a real, replicable result. Not just a fluke.

[AbriForm]

While the vast majority of ABDLs have some form of "trauma" (and I use that word very loosely... it does not mean abuse, or even something abnormal for a child), trauma is not a requirement to acquiring the fetish/gravitation.

That said, anything can become an addiction. However, it doesn't sound like diapers are at that point in the OP's lifestyle.

It is completely normal that ABDLs integrate diapers into their lives more, and more, until it is somewhat integral to their lifestyle. Becoming "crabby" without diapers is called withdrawal, but withdrawal does not require a normal addiction.

Look at it this way... let's say you are married. And, after a year, you have to go on a business trip for a week. Guess what? If you love your wife, you'll miss her. You'll want her there. It's normal.

I'm on a business trip right now. Haven't had a diaper for three days. While I can easily go a day without a diaper... the first thing I will do when returning home is go on a diaper binge. I want a diaper right now... bad... really bad. But, the last thing I'm worried about is addiction. I'm just focusing that energy on all the messy, weird things I'll be doing this weekend.