Wavering Interests And Some Questions

[Kreefun]

Hi, this is my first time posting here, and honestly, it's a bit awkward to type this, considering not a soul knows about my interest here but me, but may as well throw it out there

I like to wear and use diapers. Oftentimes, it is a sexual thing for me, and some form of release afterwards makes things better. However, if I do pleasure myself afterwards, when I'm done, I'm completely disinterested in diapers and the thought of me having bought them sometimes bothers me, and on a few occasions, I've thrown several good ones away out of frustration at myself. But as soon as the next day, I want to wear diapers again, and am disappointed I threw them away.

It's strange, but I really want to keep wearing them. Any way to help myself enjoy them more or solve my problem?

[diaprbayb]

First, you have to come up with a problem.

I've gone through what you have over and over again. for 30+ years.

don't throw stuff away. or atleast use them first.

[ntrader1121]

Hi, this is my first time posting here, and honestly, it's a bit awkward to type this, considering not a soul knows about my interest here but me, but may as well throw it out there

I like to wear and use diapers. Oftentimes, it is a sexual thing for me, and some form of release afterwards makes things better. However, if I do pleasure myself afterwards, when I'm done, I'm completely disinterested in diapers and the thought of me having bought them sometimes bothers me, and on a few occasions, I've thrown several good ones away out of frustration at myself. But as soon as the next day, I want to wear diapers again, and am disappointed I threw them away.

It's strange, but I really want to keep wearing them. Any way to help myself enjoy them more or solve my problem?

what you are describing is the normal binge and purge cycle that is VERY common to people with diaper interests.

You need to come to grips with this interest yourself and decide what you want to do with it.

sorry there's no easy answer, but most likely this cycle will continue until you decide to either keep your diapers because you know you will want to use them again, or keep buying new ones

good luck

most of us have been there, myself included

Nicole

[baby-dandan]

I've had that problem many times myself. I have thrown away many packs of diapers, a onesie, a few pacifiers and baby bottles. As a teenager I told my Mom about my diaper fetish. At first she was ok with it she even bought me my first pack of diapers but soon after that she had a change of heart. My parents had me go to a psychiatrist to get over this fetish. They finally realized I didn't have the desire to quit and why should they spend money on doctor visits. Over the years I've felt guilt about my fetish and wasted money by throwing stuff away. Now I've come to terms with my diaper desires and it's here to stay. Now if I start feeling guilty about it I just put my things out of sight so when the urge hits me again I still have everything I need.

[adriansurley]

I have definitely heard of this from many people and you are not alone!

[bobbyc]

As others have posted, you are definitely not alone. I too have feelings of guilt, shame, etc., etc., and have thrown things out in a binge and purge cycle, though I haven't done the latter in many years. I do not know where these feelings come from or why I feel guilt and shame. I wish I did know.

The only advice I could possibly offer is to find ways to make this fetish 'real' to you by opening up to others, as you are doing here, forming relationships with others on this website perhaps in the form of a PM to a member whose opinions and posts you respect, and then eventually sharing your secret with someone in your physical world whom you trust. I know that by being able to connect with someone on a more personal level can help you to feel less alone and in turn, feel less like what you are doing is something shameful.

Good luck to you and don't be a stranger.

[Vic]

The binge, purge cycle, seems as though everybody here has had it. Really though it felt to me that guilt was the main cause of my binge purge cycles. The shame I felt over my diaper desires.

Maybe you should look into what it is that makes you feel guilty about wearing.

Do you feel shame that someone may find out about this? Or is it something that you don't like about you, that because you like diapers then you are defective in some manner?

Coming to grips with your feelings, or understanding yourself better might be something that will help you. A lot of us finally just decided that it wasn't worth beating ourselves up over this anymore and have learned to accept ourselves for who we are.

Learning that you're an okay person, even though you like to do something a little different than other people can go a long way to keeping yourself in balance.

Just because you like to wear diapers doesn't make you a freak, a pedo, or a monster, so go easy on yourself. You ain't really that different from John Q.

Hell we're all of us different from each other. God didn't make two snowflakes that were alike, and no two people are alike, God loves diversity.

Rest assured that God still loves you, warts and all.So go easy on yourself, and to save a little green, put the diapers out of sight, then when you're ready for them you don't have to waste any money.

If you still feel the need to throw them away, send them to someone on this site, I hate to see money wasted, and somebody here would be eternally grateful.

Chill out, and cut yourself some slack.

Peace,

Vic

[superdiaperbaby]

Kreefun, Welcome to the boards!

Vic, good post.

I agree. It is usually shame and guilt that causes people to become disinterested in diapers. Disinterested is a light word, it should be disgusted. It is not that you are not interested in diapers any more, it is that you are not interested in getting off in diapers anymore, because you have released your tension and your brain is now in control instead of your pleasure centers. Somehow during your childhood you have associated sexual pleasure with morals, guilt and shame in some kind of fashion. Usually that is through society and peers because you don't see sexual pleasure as your own real part of your body, but something that is to be hidden from everyone.

As I look back on my 33 years I can see that when I was in my teens and early 20s I did not know how pleasurable sexuality could be. I was just beginning to understand my own sexuality and had guilt and shame from it especially after the deed. It even stemmed further from the potty training brain washing most kids experienced - "big boys use the potty not diapers" was probably drilled into my subconscious. Now as I moved into my 20s I had gotten tired of guilt and shame and chose to accept diaper wearing as my main source of pleasure. I had to be realistic. I could not be the person I thought my parents and friends and society wanted me to be. I had to do what made me happy. And later on I was to learn that diapered sex with my wife would be more pleasurable than I ever could imagine. But I had to go through all of those steps to really put diapers in perspective.

So my advice to you is to learn to be happy about liking diapers. Accept yourself. Guilt and shame is much more damaging than diapers ever will be. Learn to not be disinterested in diapers after the deed. Keep wearing them afterwords and maybe go further into the adult baby world with a stuffed animal and pacifier. Continue the fantasy, you won't be disappointed.

SDB

[adriansurley]

I vaguely remember reading an article one time online about something like this with a different sort of "fetish" (if you want to use that word) - so it must be a pretty common thing. I will try to find the article!

[Mean Mommy]

Hi, this is my first time posting here, and honestly, it's a bit awkward to type this, considering not a soul knows about my interest here but me, but may as well throw it out there

I like to wear and use diapers. Oftentimes, it is a sexual thing for me, and some form of release afterwards makes things better. However, if I do pleasure myself afterwards, when I'm done, I'm completely disinterested in diapers and the thought of me having bought them sometimes bothers me, and on a few occasions, I've thrown several good ones away out of frustration at myself. But as soon as the next day, I want to wear diapers again, and am disappointed I threw them away.

It's strange, but I really want to keep wearing them. Any way to help myself enjoy them more or solve my problem?

I have that feeling too. Usually immediately after i've masturbated, i become disgusted with the things i've used to achieve sexual bliss. like what adriansurley said, this happens with a lot of fetishes. fetishes seem to have a dualistic nature: one aspect of the fetish is its outer reality - what it serves and symbolizes in society - then there is the second aspect, the inner fantasy involving the fetish. once we have satisfied our secret desires surrounding the fetish, we are often struck by shame/disgust/indifference from its primary purpose. once diapers stop being a sexual object, they return to being the object you associate with babies and really old people. not sexy.

it's no big deal and it won't stop. you'll eventually get over the compulsion to destroy your diapers and will keep them, knowing full well that although you want nothing to do with them now, you will later. just take a deep sigh, congratulate yourself on banging out a great orgasm, and clean up. over time, as you grow to accept your deviant ways, your feelings about your diapers will likely evolve.

[PampersPete]

I have that feeling too. Usually immediately after i've masturbated, i become disgusted with the things i've used to achieve sexual bliss.

You're female AND admit you masturbate?

[curiositykilledthecat]

You kidding more women do that then us guys do. the only difference is we are open about it. Come on who has more toys?