Omg I'm Freaking Out

[OCDgirl]

Hey,

um....idk if you guys remember but I'm the non incontinent girl with toilet anxiety issues who wears diapers so yeah......

O.k I'm TOTALLY FRAKING OUT right now cause some freaky things keep happening to me that I think might not be normal.

Idk how to explain it but I think there might be something really wrong with me.

This weekend I went to sepnd the weekend with my bf and my bff in a condo they rented out by the lake. They both know that I wear diapers cause of my anxiety issues. This was like a wilderness type camping cottage thing so they both encouraged me not to bring or wear my diapers since I could just go outside easily and it was going to be hard to deal with diapers while we were out camping.

So I agreed and I came without my diapers thinking it would be o.k since I could just go outside instrad of flipping out about the toilet but it wasn't.

It was the absolute most embarrassing thing ever but I kept peeing all over everything all weekend.

On the chairs, the couch, the picnic table, the floor, the carpet etc. This was the first time in my ENTIRE life except for maybe when I was like 3 that I've had like.... accidents.

This was a rental place and I got pee all over everything. I ruined their mattress cause I peed in my sleep too....

My bf and my bff were really worried about me but tried not to talk about it cause I tend to freak myself out to the point that I can't do anything at all about things like this especially when I don't take my anxiety medicine which I totally forgot at home.

But then this is like ewwww but o.k here we go

we were sitting on the sofa watching some stupid movie when I felt something disgusting in my pants and started to um.... poop. I got up and ran in a panic for the door so I could go outside but it was too late. I stood there and accidentally pooped in my pants right in front of my bf and bff ruining my brand new baby phat jeans. This was the absolute worst thing that had ever happened to me. They stood there looking at me like my hair was turning green and then I just started bawling my head off and crying hysterically like an idiot.'

I ruined every pair of pants I brought on that trip. I ended up having to stuff beach towels in my underwear and drive to a walmart to buy some new pants and well..... diapers. They went in and bought them for me since the toweles were covered in piss by the time we finally got to the store and I was afraid of leaking.

I had to sit in the stupid cabin in just a nasty bulky drug store brand diaper washing all of my pants while everyone else went out to the lake to have fun.

Jackson (my bf) stayed with me and helped me wash everything though but it was sorta embarrassing to say the least to have him see me standing there in just a diaper and an ugly beach shirt.

I actually needed to wear diapers this weekend.

I'm worrying that I'm starting to become dependent on them for some wierd reason and

I don't understand why this is happening to me and what I should do about it. I'm freaking out so much I can't sleep. My bf called my therapist for me so I guess ima talk to her about it..... but idk how to bring it up or what I should even say.

Idk should I say something like ummmmmm i can't stop using my diapers on accident help???

Idk what to do and I'm really freaking out. Is his normal??? Has anyone else seen this happen to non incontinent people who wear diapers before or something????

Its like my pee is beoming like my period. You know it just comes out and you can't tell when only instead of like once a month this is like all the time.

Please help......

[Knuxie Fawks]

wearing diapers 24/7 for a long time, even though you weren't incontinent, that can cause the muscles that would normally keep you from wetting/messing yourself to atrophy, and therefore, cause you to become incontinent.

[Guest refridginator]

Well, if you can try this on for size, just when you feel the urge to go, try to hold it. I don't think it matters how long, but what counts is that you're using those muscles every so often to help yourself not become voluntarily incontinent. Now that sounds simple enough if you grasp routine easily, however if I were in your shoes, being lazy and forgetful as I am, that little routine wouldn't last. I would do something like going swimming for a while a few days out of the week. I think the stimulation helps give more control to all the muscles in your body, but I'm not 100% positive.

Anyway this won't be an overnight thing. It'll take more concentration than you're comfortable to give for probably a few days, but I'd give it weeks for control.

Wow, first time I've ever heard of potty training with no potty! Anyway I'm sorry about your situation and that must have been mortifying! But look at it like this... your boyfriend stayed and helped you out. Your best friend and boyfriend bought diapers for you. You've definitely got their loyalty and friendship, as this is proof of it. Just thank them if you haven't

[packrat]

Ditto with the previous comment. If shrink is aware of fetish, just take it head on. If shrink is MD you may also benefit from knowledgeable advice on medical side. My guess is early replies are on the mark. You appear too young to have a significant medical history unless poor control is historical. Let us know what you learn.

[OCDgirl]

Ditto with the previous comment. If shrink is aware of fetish, just take it head on. If shrink is MD you may also benefit from knowledgeable advice on medical side. My guess is early replies are on the mark. You appear too young to have a significant medical history unless poor control is historical. Let us know what you learn.

Hey,

Um... ok just to make things a little more clear I don't actually have a fetish with the baby stuff at all (i know i know this is a fetish site but whatever). I wear diapers because I have a severe anxiety problem related to using toilets especially toilets that are not in my home or that I have never seen before.... Yeah I know its wierd so thats actually why I wear diapers. It takes a lot of stress away from my already stessed out life.....

[Repaid1]

First let me say, that whatever reason you wear is fine with us. With that if you know you need to wear, then wear. I am incontinent as well just use this little avenue to overcome some of the stress. Don't ever let anyone ever talk you out of using your Diapers and for goodness sake don't forget your medicine. But I'm pretty sure this won't happen again. I'm with the others I think a Dr. Consult is in the works for you, just to be safe...Take care.

[Permanently Pampered]

Let me get this right, you didn't have problems shitting yourself until you got out of diapers? If you had issues before this memorable weekend, then why are you shocked?

Frankly I think this is a made up FABRICATION.

[AndB]

Let me get this right, you didn't have problems shitting yourself until you got out of diapers? If you had issues before this memorable weekend, then why are you shocked?

Frankly I think this is a made up FABRICATION.

No, I don't think it is necessarily. If she does have such problems with anxiety...well, it's amazing what your mind can do to you! If her moniker of "OCDgirl" is accurate, OCD is a powerful disease.

Frankly, being ABDL is a compulsive behavior, not necessarily so far off from OCD as you may think.

Most of us here know the power that this sort of thing has. My own incontinence only began when I stopped wearing diapers for a time, which makes me think that the power of the compulsion has a lot to do with it. If she is OCD and has anxiety about bathrooms, that could cause this. What worries me is that she thought she could just go squat outside -- probably somewhere in her head it's not much better than using a strange bathroom. She probably needs to be a bit more self-aware, and keep her diapers on if she's not sure about the bathroom situation.

Keep your head up girl! Keep working on overcoming this anxiety, and until then keep your diapers on.

[Guest refridginator]

I definitely understand the world of being incredibly stressed out and very severe anxiety problems. If you've become dependant on using diapers, your body will basically say "Okay, we don't have to hold it in anymore!" and your muscles will actually learn to just release as soon as you have to go. If you are so anxious about using the toilet and just go in diapers every time you even feel the slightest urge, you are on the verge of making yourself incontinent.

This CAN be reversed. However, you will have to get over your anxiety of toilets and using the bathroom. Since you are on medication, it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to discuss this with your psychiatrist or whoever prescribes your medication, and NEVER forget to take your medicine for even a single day. That can and will severely effect your treatment.

I do believe that therapy is in order to help you get over your toilet issues... even trying to lower your anxiety through different medications or added medications alone can severely reduce your bathroom anxiety. I've been on anti-anxiety and anti-depression medications of all kinds since I was 7 years old... I'm 22 now. Take it from me, sweetie.

However, you shouldn't feel so bad. If you need diapers, then wear them! If anyone wants to judge you, blow them off. They don't matter. What really matters is that you have a best friend and boyfriend that seriously love you to pieces, incontinent or not. They care about you enough to get you diapers and help you clean everything up and stick by you. I think that's amazing.

If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to talk to me, okay?

email: ruddykitty@hotmail.com

AIM: Ruddy Kitty

MSN: ruddykitty@hotmail.com

Take care, and don't let this get you down, alright?

not to suggest blowing you off, but you came on a little strong. i don't think the way you put it is the best way for her to look at it, it just comes off as a compulsive, anxious experience. it's all about attitude

[Guest Ruddy Kitty]

not to suggest blowing you off, but you came on a little strong. i don't think the way you put it is the best way for her to look at it, it just comes off as a compulsive, anxious experience. it's all about attitude

...Because it IS a compulsive and anxious experience? Obviously she was very distraught over all of this. So, what, would you rather I sugarcoat everything for her? Because I'm not about to do that. But hey, since you think I "came on a little strong", why not share your wisdom with her instead of sitting here and oogling over my post?

[Guest refridginator]

already did. and she already knows that it is, but again it's about attitude.

[Guest LilBunnyFooFoo73]

Hey,

um....idk if you guys remember but I'm the non incontinent girl with toilet anxiety issues who wears diapers so yeah......

O.k I'm TOTALLY FRAKING OUT right now cause some freaky things keep happening to me that I think might not be normal.

Idk how to explain it but I think there might be something really wrong with me.

This weekend I went to sepnd the weekend with my bf and my bff in a condo they rented out by the lake. They both know that I wear diapers cause of my anxiety issues. This was like a wilderness type camping cottage thing so they both encouraged me not to bring or wear my diapers since I could just go outside easily and it was going to be hard to deal with diapers while we were out camping.

So I agreed and I came without my diapers thinking it would be o.k since I could just go outside instrad of flipping out about the toilet but it wasn't.

It was the absolute most embarrassing thing ever but I kept peeing all over everything all weekend.

On the chairs, the couch, the picnic table, the floor, the carpet etc. This was the first time in my ENTIRE life except for maybe when I was like 3 that I've had like.... accidents.

This was a rental place and I got pee all over everything. I ruined their mattress cause I peed in my sleep too....

My bf and my bff were really worried about me but tried not to talk about it cause I tend to freak myself out to the point that I can't do anything at all about things like this especially when I don't take my anxiety medicine which I totally forgot at home.

But then this is like ewwww but o.k here we go

we were sitting on the sofa watching some stupid movie when I felt something disgusting in my pants and started to um.... poop. I got up and ran in a panic for the door so I could go outside but it was too late. I stood there and accidentally pooped in my pants right in front of my bf and bff ruining my brand new baby phat jeans. This was the absolute worst thing that had ever happened to me. They stood there looking at me like my hair was turning green and then I just started bawling my head off and crying hysterically like an idiot.'

I ruined every pair of pants I brought on that trip. I ended up having to stuff beach towels in my underwear and drive to a walmart to buy some new pants and well..... diapers. They went in and bought them for me since the toweles were covered in piss by the time we finally got to the store and I was afraid of leaking.

I had to sit in the stupid cabin in just a nasty bulky drug store brand diaper washing all of my pants while everyone else went out to the lake to have fun.

Jackson (my bf) stayed with me and helped me wash everything though but it was sorta embarrassing to say the least to have him see me standing there in just a diaper and an ugly beach shirt.

I actually needed to wear diapers this weekend.

I'm worrying that I'm starting to become dependent on them for some wierd reason and

I don't understand why this is happening to me and what I should do about it. I'm freaking out so much I can't sleep. My bf called my therapist for me so I guess ima talk to her about it..... but idk how to bring it up or what I should even say.

Idk should I say something like ummmmmm i can't stop using my diapers on accident help???

Idk what to do and I'm really freaking out. Is his normal??? Has anyone else seen this happen to non incontinent people who wear diapers before or something????

Its like my pee is beoming like my period. You know it just comes out and you can't tell when only instead of like once a month this is like all the time.

Please help......

I assume from your moniker you have OCD. I do as well, and I know it can be a difficult disorder to deal with. Are you on any medications that perhaps could be doing this as a side effect? I know many meds people take are powerful, to say the least. I suggest of you are indeed on psychotropic medication you speak to your physician about it.

[babytommy1981]

i kinda have the same problem, im afriad to use public restrooms, i dont like to use a potty some one else touched. growing up in school from K - 12 i had to wear diapers, since i wouldnt use the public potty, its something my mother told me started when i 5 yrs old, public restrooms are dirty and nasty. i was the kind of child that if i got a little bit of dirt on me i had to take a bath, to this day i wash my hands more then thats needed. if they even feel alittle dirty it bugs me to no end. i wear my diapers almost 24/7 becuase of having a weak bladder, i can hold it but not for long and i also have weak bowl control. never had full contorl over that part of my body. i have seen alot of doctors about it. with no help. its freaks me out when im in a public place and i poop my self cause i didnt feel the need to go and then it happens. you know as well as i do everyone thats with in a 20 foot area can smell it. i start to get very upset the only thing that keeps together is my GF and and our friends, I have had to get changed at the mall in the back of a mini van becuase there was no place in the mall that i can get cleaned up and changed with out breaking any laws.

I say if you talk to a doctor and your BF and BFF stand by your side and you say to your self you can do this and build up your self control you could regain your control of your self.

[Dill_Pickle]

Let me get this right, you didn't have problems shitting yourself until you got out of diapers? If you had issues before this memorable weekend, then why are you shocked?

Frankly I think this is a made up FABRICATION.

OK, I'll admit my BS indicator is alarming right now.

However, it's quite likely that forgetting anti-anxiety meds can do exactly this to someone...anxiety meds like SSRI's adjust the autonomic nervous system, and, after your body adjusts to them, it gets unadjusted if you suddenly stop. I'll attest to having pooped my pants unintentionally once, a long time ago, for exactly that reason. Heavy anxiety can also be a cause for loss of control, either for peeing or pooping. Napoleon Bonaparte always had gut pain before a battle, for example. Your professionals are going to recommend that you wait and see if the trouble is temporary, which I expect it is.

OCD girl, do you remember being a bit constipated or a bit harder to pee when you first started taking anti-anxiety meds?

Your therapist will probably also discuss your BF calling...it's borderline inappropriate, as the therapy is for YOU, not him.

The only other suggestion I can make for OCDgirl is that you go and find "mindfulness" meditation and start practicing it. This will help your self-awareness, and hopefully keep you out of trouble in terms of leaving your tools behind like you did at this cabin. Other forms of meditation, such as T'ai Chi, can also help you.

Beyond that, I can't talk since my idea of a good saturday is to hike 7-10 miles and up to 3000 vertical feet with 30 pounds of water on my back....it's great exercise, but I wouldn't do it in any kind of diaper (chafing) and lately haven't been able to wear a shirt, either -- it's been getting soaked through with sweat.

[OCDgirl]

Yeah.... anytime I or anyone else posts anything anywhere everyone seems to think its all a made up story but whatever I guess thats what I get for coming tot the internet for advice.

[Repaid1]

Naw you just turned the meter on for a few...I don't think anyone here is actually accusing you of lying. It's Just because of your limited posts, then that your a girl, and finally such a in depth post to start...you'll see people are pretty friendly here, over time you will win them over. Hang in there and hope things are going better for you.

[Brudda Voodu]

I wouldnt worry about it much OCD girl. The thing about the internet is that you can say anything you like and all you have to worry about is a rebuttal. Who cares if some people don't believe you? I for one dont really care if your telling the truth of not, I like your posts and I encourage you to make more of them. If every one only posted very mundane believable things this would be a very boring place wouldnt it?

"Today I wore a diaper inside my house under my clothes. I wet it, took it off after and threw it out. I had fun."

Pretty freakin' boring huh?

Don't read this the wrong way either, I'm not calling you a liar. Keep on keeping on little girl, strap on a diaper, have some fun and let us know about it. To hell with what anyone else thinks.

[Dill_Pickle]

Yeah.... anytime I or anyone else posts anything anywhere everyone seems to think its all a made up story but whatever I guess thats what I get for coming tot the internet for advice.

I wouldn't worry about the BS factor...just let us know how you are doing. Credibility is built up over time by being consistent. Have you tried anything we suggested? Have any of our predictions been correct? How are you doing? Have things settled down?

Dill Pickle

[plusmbr]

OCD and anxiety can make a mess out of a sane person. You said you left your meds at home. eeek. I take zoloft, but have been trying to wean myself off of it. Still end up taking a half pill once or twice a week.

My wife and I have nature CD's we listen to, that help us relax. We wear diapers when away from home often just in case.

So how was the next meeting with the therapist? Get any issues resolved? How are you doing now?