OCDgirl

Yeah.... anytime I or anyone else posts anything anywhere everyone seems to think its all a made up story but whatever I guess thats what I get for coming tot the internet for advice.

Hey, Um... ok just to make things a little more clear I don't actually have a fetish with the baby stuff at all (i know i know this is a fetish site but whatever). I wear diapers because I have a severe anxiety problem related to using toilets especially toilets that are not in my home or that I have never seen before.... Yeah I know its wierd so thats actually why I wear diapers. It takes a lot of stress away from my already stessed out life.....

Hey, um....idk if you guys remember but I'm the non incontinent girl with toilet anxiety issues who wears diapers so yeah...... O.k I'm TOTALLY FRAKING OUT right now cause some freaky things keep happening to me that I think might not be normal. Idk how to explain it but I think there might be something really wrong with me. This weekend I went to sepnd the weekend with my bf and my bff in a condo they rented out by the lake. They both know that I wear diapers cause of my anxiety issues. This was like a wilderness type camping cottage thing so they both encouraged me not to bring or wear my diapers since I could just go outside easily and it was going to be hard to deal with diapers while we were out camping. So I agreed and I came without my diapers thinking it would be o.k since I could just go outside instrad of flipping out about the toilet but it wasn't. It was the absolute most embarrassing thing ever but I kept peeing all over everything all weekend. On the chairs, the couch, the picnic table, the floor, the carpet etc. This was the first time in my ENTIRE life except for maybe when I was like 3 that I've had like.... accidents. This was a rental place and I got pee all over everything. I ruined their mattress cause I peed in my sleep too.... My bf and my bff were really worried about me but tried not to talk about it cause I tend to freak myself out to the point that I can't do anything at all about things like this especially when I don't take my anxiety medicine which I totally forgot at home. But then this is like ewwww but o.k here we go we were sitting on the sofa watching some stupid movie when I felt something disgusting in my pants and started to um.... poop. I got up and ran in a panic for the door so I could go outside but it was too late. I stood there and accidentally pooped in my pants right in front of my bf and bff ruining my brand new baby phat jeans. This was the absolute worst thing that had ever happened to me. They stood there looking at me like my hair was turning green and then I just started bawling my head off and crying hysterically like an idiot.' I ruined every pair of pants I brought on that trip. I ended up having to stuff beach towels in my underwear and drive to a walmart to buy some new pants and well..... diapers. They went in and bought them for me since the toweles were covered in piss by the time we finally got to the store and I was afraid of leaking. I had to sit in the stupid cabin in just a nasty bulky drug store brand diaper washing all of my pants while everyone else went out to the lake to have fun. Jackson (my bf) stayed with me and helped me wash everything though but it was sorta embarrassing to say the least to have him see me standing there in just a diaper and an ugly beach shirt. I actually needed to wear diapers this weekend. I'm worrying that I'm starting to become dependent on them for some wierd reason and I don't understand why this is happening to me and what I should do about it. I'm freaking out so much I can't sleep. My bf called my therapist for me so I guess ima talk to her about it..... but idk how to bring it up or what I should even say. Idk should I say something like ummmmmm i can't stop using my diapers on accident help??? Idk what to do and I'm really freaking out. Is his normal??? Has anyone else seen this happen to non incontinent people who wear diapers before or something???? Its like my pee is beoming like my period. You know it just comes out and you can't tell when only instead of like once a month this is like all the time. Please help......

Hello!!!! I am new to this site so I am not entirely sure if this room is for me as I am not medically incontinent however I am not a ummmmmmmm person that wants to be a baby or something etc. However I do actually wear diapers..... so I'm not sure where I exactly fit here. Anyway my situation is that I have a severe anxiety disorder that includes many phobias. The main and total worst phobia that I have is using toilets especislly public toilets or toilets that are not in my own home but really all toilets in general. I have had this problem for years. Before it was so bad that I would find myself in my room trying to hold it as long as I could, crying and ending up just going in my pants because I coudln't force myself to go in and use the toilet. It got so bad that I stopped eating and drinking because I wanted to avoid needing to go to the bathroom at all costs and I was so afriad of what I was going to do when I needed to go. I became so severely underweight and dehydrated from doing this that I needed to be hospitilized and have been trying to find alternative ways to deal with my problem ever since. I have tried extensive therapy, medications etc. etc. etc. but nothing seems to be able to stop my problem so about two years ago now (fall 2006) I became so desperate that I decided to try using adult diapers as a way to cope with my problem. Many people find my desicion to do this quite BIZARRE wierd and freaky but I really had no other choice. I actually discovered that wearing diapers minimizes my anxiety about needing to use the bathroom big time as I just go in the diapers instead of freaking out about the toilet. It took some time to get used to but now that I have been wearing diapers for about 2 years now I'm used to the grossness. Now my question for you guys is is it normal for someone like me that is not medically incontinent to sometimes you know like accidentally go?????? I don't really know how to explain it its just sometimes I just like go without really meaning to go and I don;t know if thats normal. Its just like sometimes I sorta start to pee my diapers on accident etc. I wasn't really concerned about this until today cause see I was at home all day so I decided to just go around without a diaper...... Lets just say it didn't go so well and I had to actually change my pants several times. This might be TMI but the part that really freaked me out was I was talking on the phone with my BF earlier and I accidentally pooped my pants when I was talking to her!!!!!!!!!! Yeah so I don't know if I should be freaking out like I am or what...... So uh...... help???