Walking On Eggshells

[Guest going_bananas]

Ok, so I'm not really sure what to write. I am 30 and my husband is a DL. I've known since the beginning of our relationship and I am fine with it, although it is not my thing I do participate with him. I love him to death and would do anything to make him happy. There are, however, two problems.

1 - I prefer to keep it private. The other night, I had friends over and they were all gathered 'round the computer when one typed an address into the search bar. There is a list of suggestions that appears under the address bar when you do that and several ABDL websites showed up. I was extremely embarassed and my husband does not understand why. I cannot make him understand that just because I don't want all of my friends and family to know and because I was embarassed about that, it does not mean that I am embarassed of him.

2 - I have several auto-immune diseases and I sometimes have issues with incontinence. Like right now, for example. I am supposed to be out with friends, but there are no longer any disposable diapers here. He buys them claiming that they are for me and then uses them all. When I need them, they are not there. This isn't the first time. I have asked him to please leave some before (I don't mind him using them, just PLEASE leave some for me when I need them). I am at my wit's end. I have difficulties talking to him about these issues, as he always gets defensive and claims that I don't accept him. We always end up in a giant argument. I don't know how to explain myself without making him feel insecure.

Does anyone have any advice?

[BoTox]

First, your mate is a little selfish if he uses the last diaper and doesn't replace them. I feel the same way about someone that leaves the empty milk carton in the fridge!

Get more diapers! If there is a need, there is no reason not to have a case on hand at all times. Stash a few in an out of the way place for yourself. Being married is not about sharing everything all the time. Some of the time you need a little relief!

Just my 2 cents.

[Repaid1]

Ok, so I'm not really sure what to write. I am 30 and my husband is a DL. I've known since the beginning of our relationship and I am fine with it, although it is not my thing I do participate with him. I love him to death and would do anything to make him happy. There are, however, two problems.

1 - I prefer to keep it private. The other night, I had friends over and they were all gathered 'round the computer when one typed an address into the search bar. There is a list of suggestions that appears under the address bar when you do that and several ABDL websites showed up. I was extremely embarassed and my husband does not understand why. I cannot make him understand that just because I don't want all of my friends and family to know and because I was embarassed about that, it does not mean that I am embarassed of him.

2 - I have several auto-immune diseases and I sometimes have issues with incontinence. Like right now, for example. I am supposed to be out with friends, but there are no longer any disposable diapers here. He buys them claiming that they are for me and then uses them all. When I need them, they are not there. This isn't the first time. I have asked him to please leave some before (I don't mind him using them, just PLEASE leave some for me when I need them). I am at my wit's end. I have difficulties talking to him about these issues, as he always gets defensive and claims that I don't accept him. We always end up in a giant argument. I don't know how to explain myself without making him feel insecure.

Does anyone have any advice?

Well first you need to set your browser up to clear up the little traces of where you have been, should be relatively easy depending on your browser. I personally have my computer set up for me and my wife, and then a guest access with a different browser.

As for him using the darn diapers all the time, that's just plain rude. You have a medical need and he just prefers them. I guess I could say buy your own and stash them away, but that doesn't really hit the point of the subject. I think a nice sit down and talk it over is in order. He certainly can't be doing this all the time and causing this kind of rift between you two. Try to remain calm and talk it out, don't let it get out of hand. I'm sure he will get the "picture" eventually after the conversation, best of luck.

[Sophie ♥]

Yeah, i deal with a family computer. I clear my history after every use...

And i agree with Repaid, you need to talk it out... do your best to keep it a conversation and not an argument.

-Sophie

[Baby Bethany]

It sounds to me that your husband needs to start showing a bit of give and take.

1) Privacy. I play baby games with my wife, however we don't tell our friends and family because not only would it embarass both of us but it would probably make them feel uncomfortable too. I always say that a fetish is harmless if it involves consenting adults, however it should never involve unconsenting people.........your friends come under the latter catagory.

2) You have a medical need for diapers. Your husband should respect this and should help to ensure that you always have a supply to hand. By using your last diaper he is being selfish. Explain to him that you need to have diapers for your own use, and if this means keeping your own supply (that are only for you) then so be it.

You need to sit down and have a chat (try not to argue) and set some bounderies. Here's the deal, you accept and indulge him in his love of diapers, this includes looking at the websites with him (learn how to clear the list of sites you have visited). In return he respects that what you do together is private and mustn't involve your friends or family. Also, he leaves your supply of diapers alone and shows more understanding with regards to your medical needs.

Just between us, finding an understanding partner who will indulge in this fetish with you is very difficult. I am very lucky, and so is your husband. He shouldn't abuse that.

Take care

Beth

[Dill_Pickle]

Ok, so I'm not really sure what to write. I am 30 and my husband is a DL. I've known since the beginning of our relationship and I am fine with it, although it is not my thing I do participate with him. I love him to death and would do anything to make him happy. There are, however, two problems.

1 - I prefer to keep it private. The other night, I had friends over and they were all gathered 'round the computer when one typed an address into the search bar. There is a list of suggestions that appears under the address bar when you do that and several ABDL websites showed up. I was extremely embarassed and my husband does not understand why. I cannot make him understand that just because I don't want all of my friends and family to know and because I was embarassed about that, it does not mean that I am embarassed of him.

2 - I have several auto-immune diseases and I sometimes have issues with incontinence. Like right now, for example. I am supposed to be out with friends, but there are no longer any disposable diapers here. He buys them claiming that they are for me and then uses them all. When I need them, they are not there. This isn't the first time. I have asked him to please leave some before (I don't mind him using them, just PLEASE leave some for me when I need them). I am at my wit's end. I have difficulties talking to him about these issues, as he always gets defensive and claims that I don't accept him. We always end up in a giant argument. I don't know how to explain myself without making him feel insecure.

Does anyone have any advice?

On the practical end:

1) What everyone else says: either clear the browser history after use, or get two browsers, and use one for the private stuff. Both firefox and Opera are quite functional, and won't catch viruses.

2) Put a private supply for yourself in a private place.

On the emotional end:

This lack of respect for your boundaries (and inability to talk without getting defensive) are problematic. See also that he is not entirely comfortable with himself in this matter -- he needs to make excuses to buy himself diapers, and he's not comfortable talking about it. This is classic marriage counselor material.

I think, the next time he buys diapers and says they are for you, you might want to tell him that they are his (though there's a land mine in that, maybe just tell him that having only the one package makes you nervous), and would he please buy you some more? Maybe ask him, when he is wearing a diaper, if there is still a complete, unopened package in the house...the understanding being that the supply is low when that package is opened.

I do buy embarrassing things for my wife, and sometimes use them, but with the understanding that when the supply gets low, I am buying more...promptly, like on my way home from work...

On the privacy end, he will surely get nervous when you talk to him about diapers -- that is the point to tell him that letting the neighbors know what is going on makes you equally nervous....he doesn't think you accept him, how does he think the neighbors are going to feel?

Or, if you notice him crinkling, tell him the neighbors are going to notice!

Good luck, tread gently...

[DiaperBoyKR]

Definitely agreed with what everyone has said above.

Its relatively easy to set up your computer so that it doesn't show your history to the whole world. If you're using Internet Explorer, its under "Tools", the "Internet Options", then tell it how long you want it to keep the history. If you're using IE 7, you even have the option to delete your browsing history right from the Tools dropdown menu. That would keep friends from stumbling on your websites, or other such embarrassing moments.

As for the other, a serious sit down is in order, no different from if he was consuming some other important commodity in the house without making sure there was replacement readily available. This is especially true since you have a true medical need for the diapers. Its not a matter of acceptance or not IMHO, but just a point inconsiderate behavior. If he wants to wear the diapers, then he needs to make sure there are more in the house when the supply reaches a critical low point (i.e. 5 diapers remaining in the pack). Getting your own supply should not have to happen....if he is a responsible adult, he should see the need to make sure that there are sufficient supplies in the house to meet potential need at the very least in the short term. Admittedly it is a subject that will need to be delicately handled, but if approached tactfully, there shouldn't be a reason for a defensive reaction.

[DiaperBigBoy]

When he buys them, take them and hide them, and then talk it out

[diaperedinIA]

Definitely agreed with what everyone has said above.

Its relatively easy to set up your computer so that it doesn't show your history to the whole world. If you're using Internet Explorer, its under "Tools", the "Internet Options", then tell it how long you want it to keep the history. If you're using IE 7, you even have the option to delete your browsing history right from the Tools dropdown menu. That would keep friends from stumbling on your websites, or other such embarrassing moments.

As for the other, a serious sit down is in order, no different from if he was consuming some other important commodity in the house without making sure there was replacement readily available. This is especially true since you have a true medical need for the diapers. Its not a matter of acceptance or not IMHO, but just a point inconsiderate behavior. If he wants to wear the diapers, then he needs to make sure there are more in the house when the supply reaches a critical low point (i.e. 5 diapers remaining in the pack). Getting your own supply should not have to happen....if he is a responsible adult, he should see the need to make sure that there are sufficient supplies in the house to meet potential need at the very least in the short term. Admittedly it is a subject that will need to be delicately handled, but if approached tactfully, there shouldn't be a reason for a defensive reaction.

You said just what I wanted to say! I hope you can find some middle ground so you can get the diapers you NEED so you can carry on with your life! hang in there and you can work this out!

[Guest MommyGweniebear]

I personally think your husband is being very very insensitive in what hes doing in both aspects. We both own netbooks and because of their light size they travel with us everywhere, so no one else gets access. Both of us love firefox, and we clear our histories when needed. I think your husband needs to respect your limits. As far as your diaper supply issue, I would invest in one of those combination lock briefcases, a big one and buy my own supply stashing the supply in that with a good numeric combination so that he cannot get to it and keep it in your car or something. Even if he gets the briefcase he wouldn't be able to get into it. The type of briefcase I mean looks like this.

I hope this helps.

[Repaid1]

I personally think your husband is being very very insensitive in what hes doing in both aspects. We both own netbooks and because of their light size they travel with us everywhere, so no one else gets access. Both of us love firefox, and we clear our histories when needed. I think your husband needs to respect your limits. As far as your diaper supply issue, I would invest in one of those combination lock briefcases, a big one and buy my own supply stashing the supply in that with a good numeric combination so that he cannot get to it and keep it in your car or something. Even if he gets the briefcase he wouldn't be able to get into it. The type of briefcase I mean looks like this.

I hope this helps.

It would have helped if this thread wasn't so old. By clicking on the OP's name on the original post it will take you to the profile page. On the top left and scroll down you will see when they joined and when they were last here. In this case:

Last Active: Sep 06 2008 04:04 AM. So the last 4 posts including yours are all for not. Just giving you some tips on how this site can help you! Normally if you have something to add to a post thread bumping is alright, but in this instance (I don't consider this a bump BTW) the response was directed at the OP who hasn't been here for almost 2 years. Just throwing that out there for you new and older members.

PLEASE Read the original date and see if the thread has progressed to a normal time and date frame. Makes life easier on those of us who have to read the posts.

I'm actually thinking of suggesting a sub forum in the tech support forum for tips and tricks for this boards software. I know even today I found a feature i didn't know existed, that was helpful. While some of these can be found in the Tech section one has to look through the whole thing or know how to use the search system. So we will see.

[Sophie ♥]

THREAD ZOMBIE!!

...I remember this one though.

...Oh look! I even posted!!

I agreed with Repaid? The only time, I'm sure.

-Sophie

[Snugglebug]

THREAD ZOMBIE!!

...I remember this one though.

...Oh look! I even posted!!

I agreed with Repaid? The only time, I'm sure.

-Sophie

Thread zombie? Sure, but there's still relevant info that may prove useful to others.

For example, when you're using Mozilla Firefox, pressing Ctrl + Shift + P puts you into privacy mode. Whilst your in that mode, anywhere you go, anything you type, is erased from your temporary files the moment you exit Firefox, which conveniently goes back to the page you were at before you entered it.

[Sophie ♥]

Didn't know that...

I use Chrome though. Is there a cheat code for that?

-Sophie

[DaddyPaulie]

Didn't know that...

I use Chrome though. Is there a cheat code for that?

-Sophie

Yes: Incognito Mode. Right Click on a Link and is third Option below New Tab & New Window.