Holy. Crap.

[Aleia]

My mom decided to clean my room while I was at school today, without my permission, without even telling me. I'm not talking about scooping stuff off the floor and throwing it into laundry baskets, or shoving stuff into the closets just to. Oh no. She WENT THROUGH MY STUFF. She moved things around, removed stuff from containers, hauled bags and boxes out of my room and stored them in the basement. Oh, and guess what she found? They're gone now.

I feel so humiliated. My parents haven't said a word about it to me, but I bet they're talking about me behind my back. I feel so violated. It's like they ripped my clothes off. Where am I if I can't trust my own family?

I keep telling myself: "They know what I keep in my room now. So what? They don't know what I do with it, why it's in there. And guess what? They don't need to know! They can go through my stuff, they can find objects, but objects can't speak. I am in really in control of how much they know.

I'm the same person I was this morning. How could they possibly shame me? My mother is the one whose behavior is out of line. She has breached my boundaries, and for deliberately violating my rights, the shame is on her. I am an adult, and I am entitled to my privacy. I am entitled to my quirks, and I owe nobody an explanation or justification for them."

Here's a tip to those of you living with nosy parents: keep everything embarrassing in one place, preferably under lock and key. I thought I could lessen the impact of being discovered by hiding stuff here and there--finding one pack is better than finding a whole trove, right? Well, that turned out NOT to be such a good idea, as my mom seems to have found pretty much everything. If it's in one place, it's easier for you to manage. I just gathered up what remains of my collection and stuffed it in a huge trash bag, which is now deep in my closet. This weekend I'm getting me some locking storage trunks.

[petalmani]

Yes, that is no fun having your stuff found. However, you have to realize that your in your parents house and there free to do whatever they want in it. If you don't want stuff to be seen or found then either don't keep it in the house or lock it up. I had stuff at my moms house and I didn't expect that no one would ever look in it.

[abrichiebc]

Have you given the thought that the room theorhetically does not belong to you? The room really belongs to your parents and legally they have the right to enter the room at any time they want if they feel that there is a need to. If they thought perhaps you were hiding anything illegal or perhaps your behaviour was strange in the last little while, it could have given them the motion to search or as you say, cleaned it.

Although you are correct that you do deserve personal privacy and the right to privacy of your personal possessions. You have to look at whether you pay rent, or room and board to your parents. If you do, then maybe by a slim chance you could by rights have a lock on the door. So unless you do this, your parents have every right to enter at any time they feel they have the need to. As long as you live under their roof, you have to abide by their house rules.

Maybe you should sit down and discuss the matter with your mother or father and show them how you feel about them violating your privacy.

My mom decided to clean my room while I was at school today, without my permission, without even telling me. I'm not talking about scooping stuff off the floor and throwing it into laundry baskets, or shoving stuff into the closets just to. Oh no. She WENT THROUGH MY STUFF. She moved things around, removed stuff from containers, hauled bags and boxes out of my room and stored them in the basement. Oh, and guess what she found? They're gone now.

I feel so humiliated. My parents haven't said a word about it to me, but I bet they're talking about me behind my back. I feel so violated. It's like they ripped my clothes off. Where am I if I can't trust my own family?

I keep telling myself: "They know what I keep in my room now. So what? They don't know what I do with it, why it's in there. And guess what? They don't need to know! They can go through my stuff, they can find objects, but objects can't speak. I am in really in control of how much they know.

I'm the same person I was this morning. How could they possibly shame me? My mother is the one whose behavior is out of line. She has breached my boundaries, and for deliberately violating my rights, the shame is on her. I am an adult, and I am entitled to my privacy. I am entitled to my quirks, and I owe nobody an explanation or justification for them."

Here's a tip to those of you living with nosy parents: keep everything embarrassing in one place, preferably under lock and key. I thought I could lessen the impact of being discovered by hiding stuff here and there--finding one pack is better than finding a whole trove, right? Well, that turned out NOT to be such a good idea, as my mom seems to have found pretty much everything. If it's in one place, it's easier for you to manage. I just gathered up what remains of my collection and stuffed it in a huge trash bag, which is now deep in my closet. This weekend I'm getting me some locking storage trunks.

[Wheels]

If you are 20, this must be even more disturbing since they treated you like a child. I'm so sorry you are dealing with this. Have you been spending more time locked in your room enjoying your diapers? I ask because from your description it def sounds like mom was searching your room to see if you're on drugs or whatever might be making you act differently. Well, at least you're a girl so if you get confronted and you prefer not to share your kinks with them, you can always say you discovered diapers work great when your period gets really bad.

And for those who responded saying it's their right to search your room since it's their property, while this is technically true, it is a horrible move on their part from the aspect of maintaining trust between parents and children. Blah.

[stork]

While yes, from a legal standpoint, what they did wasnt wrong, from a courtesy standpoint it was wrong. And if she did pay rent to her parents, then its legally wrong too. If you pay for a portion of the living conditions, then you legally own the room and if someone goes in it after you telling them not to, then that will hold up in court (not saying courts get involved in this, just saying it can be legally hers).

I'm not sure what to make of your mom's reaction though, if she was ok with it, she would have left the stuff in your room rather than removing it. If she wasnt ok with it, then you would have been confronted about it by now. So I'd guess they your mom just doesnt know what to do.

I would disagree with everyone else's assessment that your mom was looking for drugs and such. I'd think if that were the case, she'd be discrete about it, and leave no trace she was nosing around. To me it seems like she just wanted to be nice and clean your room as a surprise. But you know your mom better than I so cant really speak to that.

Anyway, getting a locked chest might just motivate your parents to crack it open one day, thinking you must have something you should have, and a lot of it if its in a chest.

Those are my thoughts, hope all does end well though, and you dont die of embarassment :-)

[dogpiss]

Aleia,

I had my step mother do basically the same thing to me when I was about your age an in school. It was a big embarrassment for me (we never did get along all that well), but I know how you feel. There is an implied respect when you get to the age of majority that your parents won't go through your "stuff" except for, like, extreme circumstances. If there were no dangerous changes in your behaviour or strange odors or dangerous items, there is no logical reason for one adult to disrespect another like that. That being said, being female you do have an "out" of you wish to exploit it that I couldn't.

You can say that you use the diapers for heavy menstrual periods (some women on this board have mentioned they actually do use for that reason), and that might de-fuse the situation a little. I hope everything turns out OK... I know how you feel... hang in there.

-DP

[Heven]

Been there, suffered through that. I wish I had some gem of advice to give you, but unfortunately, all there is to say is "that sucks." You probably have enough of this already, but think of it as further incentive to move out and find a place on your own.

I suppose the one thing to mention is that time heals all wounds. My parents found out years ago, we had a very uncomfortable talk, and basically, that was that. They never brought it up again, neither did I, and I doubt they ever think about it anymore. People have too much going on in their lives to dwell over something so weird, but harmless.

Good luck though. If you haven't had that talk yet, just remember, you're not hurting anyone, including yourself. You're an adult, and it's your choice to make. They're worried because they're busy running through every worst-case scenario possible, when in reality, it's one of the most innocuous kinks you could possibly have. They'll get over it eventually, but it could be awhile.

[Necare]

Sorry to hear about your unfortunate situation Aleia! The fact is, you are 20 years old, and that should imply that you are no kid anymore, that you have your own room for a reason, it is your private zone. Ok, maybe they are legally entitled to enter your room and rummage through your personal belongings with out any form of consent, but really, what is the most important thing here? To breach your daughters private zone just because you have the law on your side, or maintain an expected degree of respect and courtesy, to have a basic grasp of the fact that ones daughter has grown up, and the 3-4 year old that were under your thumb has ceased to be? Just because she lives in their house, it is immensely disrespectful to go through her things, and even throw away some of them ( which is frankly unbelievable!!), what kind of a lame approach is that?

What is the point at all then of having a room of your own, if not to have some secrets of your own? If they suspected drug abuse or anything similar, there are better ways of approaching it. Engaging in conversation perhaps? I just thought of an example, a friend of mine bought these metal shirts that his mom used to wash for him. One day they were all gone. He confronted her, and she said: "Well, I think they were awful, so I burnt them!!" And she didnt even have the courtesy of giving him back his money. Now, that is utter lack of respect of private property, the same disrespect your mother is showing you by throwing away your diapers. Demand your money back!!

[anondl]

Starting at birth we all are moving towards independence. When we were 1, and 2, you had no privacy; your parents were in your most private spaces, literally. During potty training we gradually took control, peed in the toilet on our own and cleaned our own bum. Later we chose what we wore and what we ate, and our friends. You get the Picture.

Legally and technically, who owns the roof over our heads as we grow is moot. It is the parents job to prepare the child to function in the world. The issue here is respect for the offspring as an individual.

[DL88]

Aleia,

From someone of your age group I totally understand (be 20 in Nov). Though the other posters were right technically it is not your room, It is your private living space and from a humanistic stand point (in my opinion) they had no right to intrude like that. I am trying very hard to move out into my own place just so that I can avoid any situations like that from happening.

I do believe you have the right attitude about it however, also in my opinion, I would say you need to confront your mother about this. I certainly would not let this pass, and even though you might want to move on, sometimes you need to let her know. Yes you might be exposing the fact that you like to wear diapers, but afterwards you will have your space.

[Aleia]

Thanks so much for the advice, support, and much-needed warm fuzzies...

The reason my mom cleaned my room (she cleaned my sister's room, too, so this probably wasn't an attack on me personally) is that we're renting our house, and we get inspections every now and then. We don't want our landlord to think we're slobs destroying the house, so we'll get our crap off the floor so we can vacuum, clean the carpet, etc. Of course, no one told ME we're getting an inspection in a few days. I would have been perfectly willing to clean up my own clutter like I've always done in the past. But I guess she doesn't trust me to do that. Oh, well...two can play the distrust game.

If this comes up in a conversation, I'm definitely playing the period card. Actually, that's why I got my first batch of Poise Panties--I needed the extra protection. But I also need to account for the jumbo packs of baby diapers. I could say I bought those when I was too scared and embarassed to buy adult ones. I could also tell them I have trouble sleeping because of frequent bladder urges, so I eventually had to swallow my pride and get full-blown adult diapers.

My sister knows I'm a DL, and she's agreed to ditto all of the above to get the weight off me. We'll say we both use them for the same reasons, but we've kept them in my room.

Maybe I could drive my point home by coming downstairs tomorrow morning with a laundry basket filled with pee-soaked bedding.

[DL88]

Hey again Aleia!

You might not be interested from a males perspective however I would like to give my 2 cents. I do have a sister aswell (older) and she knows about me too. She is very loving and understanding and at one point tried diapers herself to better understand me. She isn't into them of course but she tried to understand. Also I am coming at this from a partial medical standpoint.

I have heard of women and girls using the Poise Panty for their menstruation needs so that might fly. As well as that you were embarressed about buying the adult diapers so you bought baby diapers instead. The point where you need to understand though is your mother is an older lady and has had much more experience with menstruation than yourself. If I were you I would simply claim that you did need extra protection for your flow however at night for some reason the muscle spasms and cramping makes you wet.

This can be verified in many ways. 1 in 3 women in the US experience incon. during pregnancy due to many factors. At the same time women have been potty trained that if something is wet between their legs then they have infact wet themselves. To overcome every little thing during that time of the month women have to overcome this feeling to get some sleep. Simply put, you can say, because of the fact that you were bleeding and because of the cramps, you weren't waking up in time to make it to the bathroom and you had thought you were simply bleeding.

This will account for all of the above and give your mother a legit reason to not overreact. This might sound a little immature on my part but I do think having some wet sheets might help, since of course, she did take away your diaper protection. That might also be a good time to take her into the laundry room and discuss the situation.

You don't have to take my opinion about it at all after all......i am a guy

Best of luck to you aleia

[diaperchick]

Hi Aleia!

I'm sure you have a ton of anxiety right now about having your diapers discovered by your mom. Don't forget about the unconditional love that a mother has for her children. You might be surprised how understanding she would be if you told her the truth. If she hasn't said anything to you yet I doubt she will. If she does or you just feel the need to discuss the matter I would not lie about it. If you really want more privacy maybe you should look for another place to live.

Good luck!

[justindiapers]

Are you 100% certain that she found them? I know you said that she went through your stuff, but is there any chance your diapers were in a box, and maybe she just moved the box to the basement without looking in it? I know from personal experience that I tend to jump to the worst assumption. Maybe you got lucky...

Anyway, I would avoid the bedwetting excuse. A period is normal, but bedwetting might make your mom worry. No sense in doing that if you can avoid it. I don't think the bedwetting excuse would help with the baby diapers anyway. The "too embarrassed to buy adult diapers" excuse seems like the best explanation for the baby diapers.

And like diaperchick said, the honesty approach is a possibility. You already told your sister, so if your mom is just as open minded, why not? Good luck with whatever choice you make...

[lz1396]

Unless your lease is up and the land lord is looking for damage before you move out or your house needs repair your land lord should not be coming over to make inspections. Things called renters rights prevent that. They vary some from state too state but unannounced inspections are generally a no no in most states. Any time someone comes over you have a right to be notified as a renter. Most states your land lord better have a good reason for coming over or sending some one over like general matinee or upkeep. If your land lord comes over just to look at the house to see that it’s in good order and there are no holes in the walls that’s called harassment and they should know better. that’s a good way for a land lord to get sued Even if it just the pest control man coming over they most tell you what week or day they are coming. As for your mother tell her it bothers you that she would just go through your stuff like that. You may want to think about getting a new lock on your door. If you go to the hardware store you can buy a new doorknob lock set with a regular key for about 20$. It’s not hard to put in, all you will need is a screwdriver. Most of the time you don’t have to change out the latch just the doorknob part. That would require you to take out the two old screws on the old doorknob. Then the two sides of the knob will come off. Then all you have to do is put the new doorknob on just like the old one came off. Line up the screw holes and put the screws back. Your land lord should not care as long as you put the old doorknob back before you move out. A new door lock dose wonders to keep unwanted people out and I think your mom would get the point.

[redneck diaper boy]

Why are you still living with your mom? Are you still in school?

My mom decided to clean my room while I was at school today, without my permission, without even telling me. I'm not talking about scooping stuff off the floor and throwing it into laundry baskets, or shoving stuff into the closets just to. Oh no. She WENT THROUGH MY STUFF. She moved things around, removed stuff from containers, hauled bags and boxes out of my room and stored them in the basement. Oh, and guess what she found? They're gone now.

I feel so humiliated. My parents haven't said a word about it to me, but I bet they're talking about me behind my back. I feel so violated. It's like they ripped my clothes off. Where am I if I can't trust my own family?

I keep telling myself: "They know what I keep in my room now. So what? They don't know what I do with it, why it's in there. And guess what? They don't need to know! They can go through my stuff, they can find objects, but objects can't speak. I am in really in control of how much they know.

I'm the same person I was this morning. How could they possibly shame me? My mother is the one whose behavior is out of line. She has breached my boundaries, and for deliberately violating my rights, the shame is on her. I am an adult, and I am entitled to my privacy. I am entitled to my quirks, and I owe nobody an explanation or justification for them."

Here's a tip to those of you living with nosy parents: keep everything embarrassing in one place, preferably under lock and key. I thought I could lessen the impact of being discovered by hiding stuff here and there--finding one pack is better than finding a whole trove, right? Well, that turned out NOT to be such a good idea, as my mom seems to have found pretty much everything. If it's in one place, it's easier for you to manage. I just gathered up what remains of my collection and stuffed it in a huge trash bag, which is now deep in my closet. This weekend I'm getting me some locking storage trunks.

[Repaid1]

Aleia, sorry to here about the situation. I kinda feel it hit home just cause your so close to me..heck for all I know you could be one of my neighbors, or someone I have passed on the street. I for one wouldn't push the issue at this point. I would wait for your mother to bring it up. I also think that honesty is the best policy, but little white lies never hurt either, especially in your boarding situation. Best of luck, and don't dwell on it, if it comes up it comes up. Hang in there and keep us updated if anything happens. We rent out the downstairs apartments, ones empty if push comes to shove. Maybe then I won't be the only one with diapers in the house.

[stork]

Unless your lease is up and the land lord is looking for damage before you move out or your house needs repair your land lord should not be coming over to make inspections. Things called renters rights prevent that. They vary some from state too state but unannounced inspections are generally a no no in most states. Any time someone comes over you have a right to be notified as a renter. Most states your land lord better have a good reason for coming over or sending some one over like general matinee or upkeep. If your land lord comes over just to look at the house to see that it’s in good order and there are no holes in the walls that’s called harassment and they should know better. that’s a good way for a land lord to get sued Even if it just the pest control man coming over they most tell you what week or day they are coming. As for your mother tell her it bothers you that she would just go through your stuff like that. You may want to think about getting a new lock on your door. If you go to the hardware store you can buy a new doorknob lock set with a regular key for about 20$. It’s not hard to put in, all you will need is a screwdriver. Most of the time you don’t have to change out the latch just the doorknob part. That would require you to take out the two old screws on the old doorknob. Then the two sides of the knob will come off. Then all you have to do is put the new doorknob on just like the old one came off. Line up the screw holes and put the screws back. Your land lord should not care as long as you put the old doorknob back before you move out. A new door lock dose wonders to keep unwanted people out and I think your mom would get the point.

It wasnt unannounced. Her mom knew that landlord was coming over, thats why they did the cleaning. I also have to highly disagree with the lock to the door thing. Locking the room will cause major suspicion on her parent's part, and make them ever more determined to get in. Also if she isnt paying rent to her parents, then they'd probably like it even less.

She's already figured out the best way to handle it, no need to over-think and over-handle the situation

[Diaper666]

well thats like in my case i got caught once when the neighbor came over unannounced and was just in a diaper i know how you must feel when she went through your stuff but do the lock thing or hell get one of those self storage thingys outside your home that they dont know about and use it to store all your stuff and don't tell them about the storage place

[Guest LOSTinDiapers]

I'm kinda interested to know what's going on with this. Do you notice any tension when you are around your Mom since she cleaned your room and threw all of you gear out? Has she said anything to you or made any snide comments? I think my Mom found out while cleaning my room when I lived with my parents. I was away in Cali for a couple weeks and came back to everything moved around. My stuff was still there, but straightened up. She's only made one comment to me, but not directly relating to anything she found.

[Aria Rift]

I can only share my own experiences with this situation and tell you that it gets easier as time goes on. My sister was the nosy one in our family. When I was a teenager I had some panties and whatnot. The first time she found me out was pure dumb luck and I was able to downplay it. The second time I went a little crazy and didn't hide the items as well as I should have and she found them easily. This time it involved a dress, a bra, panties, and a maxi pad. Even worse was that she showed all of my friends during a sleepover. Then I had to face my father, not fun. The third time it was actually our dog who found some underwear I'd lazily hidden under my bed. Had to face dad again. It hurts for a few weeks and you get really paranoid, but it goes away. After a few years I wonder if anyone even remembers those episodes. Luckily my dad never found out about my diapers, but I don't know what's worse. Having a son who likes female clothing, or diapers?

[LonLon]

Having a son who like wearing a dress is far worse than having a son who likes wearing a diaper.

Thats my story and I am stickiing to it.

[Guest Baby_brad]

a guy at work says "thats my story, and I'm stickin to it" on anything he knows he screwed up on.

[Codymoogle]

Having a son who like wearing a dress is far worse than having a son who likes wearing a diaper.

Thats my story and I am stickiing to it.

That's your opinion. And, you're biased to the diaper wearing because you're a DL.

~ Moogle

[belinda_sue_fox]

Having a son who like wearing a dress is far worse than having a son who likes wearing a diaper.

Thats my story and I am stickiing to it.

Shouldn't that be, having a bigot as a son is far worse than having a son who likes wearing a diaper"

That's the facts and i'm sticking with them.