The Proper Treatment Of Dl Girls And Ab Girls

[Pipsqueak]

Let me just say, before I start that I'm not lumping all you boys in together. This is not a male-bashing thread. There are many polite, respectful males on this board who are a pleasure to talk with and we girls truly appreciate that. In fact the MAJORITY of boys here are delightful. The problem lies with those few whose mommies did not teach them any manners, who are ruining it for the rest of the guys.

And GIRLS ... feel free to add any points that you think I've missed.

Now, I know that some of you boys are desperate to find a woman that understands the whole ab/dl lifestyle, but the problem is, you act impulsively and spoil any chance you may have had. So, if you want the girls to continue hanging around the forums and posting personal ads then you need to understand a few simple things.

- not all the girls who post here are looking for a relationship. Some are already in a relationship. Some may be lesbians and are not looking for a guy. Some are just here to make friends and discuss a difficult subject with other like-minded people.

- most girls do not find being propositioned by a complete stranger, on a forum, attractive. In fact, it can be downright scary.

- if a girl does not answer a PM, that means she probably doesn't want to pursue a private discussion with you. It does not mean you should send 400 more messages to her inbox to persuade her. And it also doesn't mean you're a bad person. It just means, back off.

- girls do not find being called "body part" names and other derogatory things, a turn on. Would you want some guy calling your mother or sister one of those names?

- there are more of us ab/dl girls out there than you might believe. But it's behaviour like what I've mentioned above that keeps them from posting messages or placing personal ads. If you want them to stay and participate, then you have to treat them with the respect that you would expect yourself.

- and if the women place ads in the Women seeking Women section, it's not shorthand for Women seeking Men. Don't pester them.

Now, as I've said, this is only for those boys who need a little extra help with their manners. The rest of you, I appreciate and enjoy your conversation and thank you for offering support and respect.

[Apemantus]

Whilst your sentiments are spot on, the actions of the boys you speak show they are unlikely to pay any heed to them. I am a respectful male, and I find most of the men into diapers/wetting/pooing to be scary! They come across as intense, as fanatical and as self-obsessed. We all have strong feelings about our fetishes/way of life, no doubt, but some men (and it is nearly all men, the women who seem similar are men in disguise, I feel) feel they have the right to be like bulls in a china shop. The true shame of their behaviour is it makes the ABDL community very reticent to engage with each other on a deep and meaningful level. Thus, despite our fetish feeling very unwanted by the mainstream, we cannot find succour in each other. I am sad that opportunities to explore our common humanity are ruined by the actions of some very selfish and ignorant individuals. They do their hearts desires no favours by acting in such a way.

[DiaperedOnceMore]

i've posted alot tonight and forced this topic lower, so i'll post in here to bring it back up.

personaly, i don't know how to aproach a woman in any environment at all. it was not something anyone ever bothered to give me pointers with. my solution? i don't... if they find me intresting enough to aproach on their own then thats a good start. it's happened a few times too.

but heres my oppinion, and with my non existant expieriance i'm sure i'm wrong but i'll state it anyway and hope not to offend anyone.

Sex is a driving force in many men(some girls too). for various reasons - not many are worth mentioning as they just make everyone look bad.

and environment... keep in mind the environment you are in at the moment...

heck, a girl who just "wants to get some" would not advratise that fact here... if they are, they're sellin something... a girl with such desires just has to go to the local bar with her G-string pull above her waistline. (thats not what i want, and so thats why i don't go to bars). so i would say don't EVER send sexual related emails to anyone on an online comunity unless that is the point of the comunity(and it's not the point of this one). i'm afraid to add "or unless they have spicificaly made it clear that that is acceptable" becouse some people will take something like, "Hi my name is Amanda." to be an odvious sign that Amanda "wants to get some lovin".

this isn't a Diapers Personal site... there is a link to one on the main page if thats what you want(i think so anyway). the creaters and maintainers of this site have let us come in and use it verry generously. if we are to abuse it in such a matter it will one day simply not be here. so respect others and give them ther privacy. Respect the community by being well mannered while using the services of this site.

[willow]

Let's be honest, most men are pretty scary on the dating scene, period.

However, when you take a bunch of guys who like to waddle around in wet diapers, it's not very often you find one with much experience with the opposite sex. In fact I wouldn't mind betting that most of them have lost the 'balance', and spend most of their Friday nights with the curtains closed doing 'weird' things in pullups.

I'm not trying to be nasty here, but sex is a major driving force for men, and most men in diapers probably don't get their needs met very often, if at all. This makes them overly aggressive. What they really need to do is lose the diapers for a month or two, and try regular dating. Have normal (dare I say conventional without a pacifier vibrator) sex a few times, understand how the whole thing works.

Wake up time. You probably won't ever find a girl who wants to change your diapers. Sorry.

If you're lucky, like me, you may put significant (10+ years) into a normal relationship, during which my wife will tolerate my fetish, and on my birthday I might get my diaper changed. That's it. Even if you found a diaper loving girl (and they do exist), it's hardly the basis of a long term relationship, is it? If you answered yes to this, then I'm talking to you...

Personally, I'd like to see all solicitation for male to female contact outside the board (in non dating forums) banned.

[cousabdl]

Willow, I couldn't agree with you more. I personally came to these forums to learn how people live and react with others regarding diapers. It bothers me that some people are so caught up in the sexual aspect that is all they will focus on and not having a solid relationship or conversation. I have noticed this not just with diapers, but many other aspects of dating as well. I am happily engaged and my fiancé and I decided to take sex out of our relationship until marriage for a few reasons. We are religious and that does play part, even though we did when we first started dating, which brings me into my second part... I used to be (5-6 years ago) the same person that people are talking about in this thread wanting sex with my fetishes driving people away because of them. Respect others and good things will happen. I am not saying that the other person will have a desire for diapers but something really good may come out of it. If they want to participate great...who knows they may end up liking it, but if not, just respect the person for who they are and don't try to change them (no pun intended) If meeting another DL, don't just assume sex, sex, sex... Many wear diapers without any ounce of sexual pleasure involved...more for comfort and security. It all comes down to respecting others and putting personal urges or desires aside.

[Pipsqueak]

From what I've read so far, you guys are the ones who don't need the tutorial! Your intelligent, thoughtful responses are exactly the kind that the women here appreciate.

For those of you who are reluctant to engage a woman in conversation here at the risk of being seen as one of the "bad-mannered" boys, you needn't worry. We are happy to talk to you and don't immediately suspect you of having wicked designs upon us. If you were to say, "hi, my name's Diapergirlstalker. Where do you live? what's your phone number? Will you change my messy diaper?" we would not be impressed. However, if you engage us in friendly conversation regarding diapers or ab lifestyle or whatever, we are quite happy to talk. We are all here because we wear diapers, or wish we did, and want to be able to discuss what that means to us or ask questions that we would be too shy and awkward to ask in person. Most people are here for a sense of community because our secret is not one we can share with most people. Here we can talk openly about wearing diapers and/or playing baby without risk of being labeled a freak.

There is only one golden rule ... treat others with respect and you will be respected in return. It's really very simple.

And thank you to all the men who posted above. You're the reason all the girls haven't high-tailed it into the hills already.

[ildiapergirl]

i appreiciete there are some people on this message borad who know what is and is not acceptable. i do have to say after all the years im not supprised that im still getting e-mail,msged by horney little men who think they are god's awnser to my problem, even if i dont have a problem. so many guys wonder why there are not many "diaper girls", i personally feel is that their additudes regarding this topic is what makes women not want to be imvolved with it, its not about diapers its about the fact that most men see it as a way to get in my pants.

lets keep it aout the people and the diapers and not about the horney 12 year olds who want to spoile it for the rest of us.

[cousabdl]

i do have to say after all the years im not supprised that im still getting e-mail,msged by horney little men who think they are god's awnser to my problem, even if i dont have a problem. so many guys wonder why there are not many "diaper girls", i personally feel is that their additudes regarding this topic is what makes women not want to be imvolved with it...

I think there are many "diaper girls" out there that are basically "in the closet" because they have to deal with what you mentioned on a daily basis... Even though I am guy, If that happened to me I would be the exact same and not talk to others about it. I would still be involved with it as I am sure many girls are, but I would not be online as much because of the stupid comments and emails.

[ramuh787]

- and if the women place ads in the Women seeking Women section, it's not shorthand for Women seeking Men. Don't pester them.

are you serious!? Little horny boys are trying to go after lesbians!!! LOL Im sorry but I find that hilarious.

I think most guys just dont understand what it is like for girls. Any gals want to post some horror stories to illistrate the point?

[Pipsqueak]

Actually, not all the women posting in the Women seeking Women section are lesbians. Many post there looking for online friends of the same sex since many feel slightly outnumbered by the guys. They just want to talk about ab/dl things with another woman. Others are there looking for a mommy or a baby girl for a non-sexual relationship. Ab play is not always a sexual thing. And yes, others are lesbians ... and no, I would not be at all surprised to hear that they get messages from horny young boys.

[ildiapergirl]

are you serious!? Little horny boys are trying to go after lesbians!!! LOL

[ramuh787]

you can be that serious that you dont understasnd that??? persionally i find you attidude offensive

Im confused how I offeneded you. What I find funny is the idea in my head of some 14 year old boy thinking he is going to get turn a lesbian girl straight.

Thats all Im not trying to be little the problem of girls being pushed out of a community that they need just as much as guys.

[pull-up male]

You know, I agree. I am a male who is just looking for friends to talk to and to see alot of the girls, very nice girls i might add, being treated this way is just degrating. I bet alot of the guys on here are nice and always looking for friends, but for those who just stay on here to harrass women is demeaning. Please let the girls have their space.

[RabiDingo]

I think a lot of DL's just get desperate after years. Who knows though. It's hard to find anyone who has this same interest.

It's easier just to learn how to be alone in your DL interests, because most likely, that's the way it will be

[Pipsqueak]

It's easier just to learn how to be alone in your DL interests, because most likely, that's the way it will be

Sometimes it's a matter of compromise. Your partner may agree to certain ab/dl things if you return the favour to her/his interests. They may draw the line at changing diapers or playing patty-cake with you, but that doesn't mean there can't be some form of DL play in your relationship. I think part of the problem lies in the fact that many of the guys here are fixated on looking for an ab/dl girl when really they should be looking for a woman who shares all their other life interests and values. Being ab/dl is part of you, not the whole you. In time, if a relationship is good and there is mutual respect than you should share this secret part of you with your partner. If you explain yourself well enough and the other person really loves you, they may be willing to make certain sacrifices. But you must remember that it's a two-way street.

I think if you asked the guys here who are in happy, long term relationships and still wear diapers, you'd probably find they didn't meet their partners in the ab/dl personal ads. Wearing diapers isn't the basis for a lifelong relationship.

[RabiDingo]

In no way do I ever expect to meet someone on the AB/DL Boards. The crowd is so few, and meeting people to try to build a relationship in real life over the internet still seems kind of "odd".

And yeah, I do agree with what you said, but I have not gotten to that point in a relationship where that can be done So until then, I make due with what I have.

[Pipsqueak]

And yeah, I do agree with what you said, but I have not gotten to that point in a relationship where that can be done So until then, I make due with what I have.

At 19 you've got lots of time still to meet the girl of your dreams! When you least expect it, she'll turn up.

[Nangza]

First, Ive been drinking so bear with me. We all, as diaper loving individuals want to be diapered and have someone love us as a baby and us to be able to treat them, In my case, as a daddy. Face this, we are all, weird. We are all freaks according to the public eye and even to our own. Women are like cats, they dont like people they dont know, and are afraid, espceially with propaganda the way it is, of anything that moves. Guys have so many of their avenues of approach cut off by this recent fear from women that the chances of someone like me (us) are cut short immediately. My advice is to not sight a person for bad manners right away but to realise how you feel, and what you want, and realise that the person, however strange sounding, will do the same thing for you. We are all freaks, face it. Its not going to change. We all think the other is a freak, that can change. As soon as we realise that we are exactly the same, that we are all adult babies, not diaper lovers (diaper lovers being those who want to seem tough), we will realise that who wants to talk to us is not a psyco, but a normal, socially functioning individual just like the rest of us in need of another person. Realise that the person you meet on this website and what you see in their profile is nothing even scratching the surface of the real person. Everyone here is the person you want, if nothing else, just go from looks and go from there. Stop being so philosofical and picky and just try something, talk only moves air, action moves matter.

Sighned

Collin

[Pipsqueak]

First, Ive been drinking so bear with me. We all, as diaper loving individuals want to be diapered and have someone love us as a baby and us to be able to treat them, In my case, as a daddy. Face this, we are all, weird. We are all freaks according to the public eye and even to our own. Women are like cats, they dont like people they dont know, and are afraid, espceially with propaganda the way it is, of anything that moves. Guys have so many of their avenues of approach cut off by this recent fear from women that the chances of someone like me (us) are cut short immediately. My advice is to not sight a person for bad manners right away but to realise how you feel, and what you want, and realise that the person, however strange sounding, will do the same thing for you.

[drynot]

I have to chime in here. I have to say that this is a great conversation. Its a pleasure to see that we can all have a frank discussion about our unusual fetish without resorting to name calling and hurtling personal insults. Like it or not WE are a community. We may not come from the same places or even speak the same languages, but there has to be a feeling of mutual respect before we can truly begin to understand what makes us all so unique.

Guys..A little piece of advice from a diaperwearin' dude in a great marriage. If she truly loves you, she won't care what kind of underwear you use. Be honest and be yourself.

[Pipsqueak]

[vins didee]

It's a real shame that this should even be a topic of discussion, however, there are always a few bad apples that spoil the barrel. I personally have been coming to this site for 4-5 years & I must say that here recently have the most intelligent & insightful topics have come to light in this "community". Whether we are here for need or fetish, straight or gay, male or female, the most important thing for us as a community to do, is accept all members of our creed, for it is this acceptence that makes us a community. After all, are we not already ostracized & oppressed from the rest of the world because of our diapers? We all share a common bond here & women in this community should be treated with the same dignity & respect as any other. I love women as much as anybody else, & I would personally love to see more women here in the ranks, but as long as there are those who continue to belittle, hound & harrass any woman that logs on or enters a chat room, I believe they will simply stay in the shadows. That in itself is a crying shame simply because it's amazing what we can learn from each other & there are times that conversation truly needs a woman's point of view. Some of the most intrigueing conversations i've had here were with women. So please, in the event any of you "bad apples" happen to read this, (you know who you are)please remember to be respectful of all our members 'cause in the end you may just be the one missng out.

[BabyMIKE]

I totally agree with women being treated with respect by men and vice verser.

but you hafter remember its not just the ladies who get hassled.

i have been privat messaged in the chat room meny times by guys without asking telling me about there gay experances.im not gay,but i have nothing against homosexuals, i respect all individules who choose there own path in sexuallity or fetish's.

It just i dont wanna hear about it. and to be privat messaged and insulted by name calling as well just makes me not want to go on the chat room.

these are just my experances.

(Stay happy, Keep chatting, BUT be alert)

babyMIKE

[Morv]

Ok, I'm gonna come right out and admit it. I'm an oversexed male that wants to approach every woman he meets in this community and wants to try to convert the lesbians straight... (I'm sure that five minutes with me will change the way the way they see the world... or at least leave them dizzy.) but I don't do that.

Got your attention?

Now, all you who have the same problem, but can't control yourselves, follow these directions. I find they work wonders for me.

1) Have a drink. (Skip this if you don't drink.)

2) Find some good free diaper porn, or whatever other variety tickles your clown.

3) Whack off.

4) Repeat steps 1-3 until sore and chafed.

5) Repeate 1-3 once more.

6) Enter chat room or start reading posts on forums or writing e-mails, or entering into whatever communication you wish.

Now... bring on the ladies!

[selective123]

You have this daddies total support and respect and this is why. Those men out there, the ones you talk about ruin it for the rest of us that are good daddies and make it all so hard to make contact with the baby girl we seek to be with. Thank you for posting what you did.

Tom