Incomplete Dude

I used to never have a problem with needles, until this one nurse couldn't get it in right. My arm actually ran out of blood somehow, and it hurt for days. I couldn't even bend my elbow afterwards. Now, I get really nervous whenever I have to have blood taken. It makes me mad that this has happened.

Well, I live near Toronto. I think that's a bit closer. However, my family also has a cottage near Parry Sound. There's lots of people around, although it can sometimes be hard to find them.

I just thing it's hilarious, and somehow cool in a totally bizarre way. Certainly, it's utilitarian.

That's so horrible, but I'm glad you have someone that cares so deeply for you. Certainly, if my father did that to someone I was going to marry, I don't think I'd stop with one punch. Just reading it makes me so angry. Oh well, maybe you can charge him with assault, and give him a serious criminal record, so he can kiss his career good-bye. Leave him with nothing. Anyways, I hope your marriage is otherwise wonderful, and turns out one thousand times better than this.

Ok, here's some of my own, as promised: When you feel bad, your first reaction is along the lines of, "I need my mommy/daddy/teddy/pacifier/etc." You describe nice and fast cars as "pretty". When something happens to you, you make sure the whole world knows about it! When you visit relatives, you spend most your time with the other children, watching cartoons and playing games. You arrange cute and cuddly things, so that others will see them, and hopefully, their day will be brightened. Hugs are almost as important as breathing. You complain to your parents or SO that the house is too bland and white. It needs more colour! Softness and fuzziness are your primary measures of quality. If someone else is crying or laughing, you feel like doing the same, even if you don't know why. You keep a teddy in your backpack, because it's too stressful not to have one around. If someone wrongs you, you get quite upset, but only for 15 minutes, because after that you've forgotten what it was. Japanese RPGs are your game of choice, only because of the pretty scenes, cartoony characters and heroic stories. Costumes can make any occasion special. You love satirical humour, because of how silly it is. Being called a "baby" makes you feel special and valued. Going back in life allows you to go forward.

Here's all the ones that apply to me in some form or measure. I added my comments in brackets afterwards, of which most are positive, but some are negative. Life's like that, I guess.

Well, when I was a kid, I wet the bed. Thus, I had an ample supply of diapers, although I only wore them at night.

If you're having suicidal thoughts/actions of that nature, see someone immediately!! I can't stress this enough! Most hospitals and treatment centres have emergency councilling. You would bode well to find out where they are, when they're open and how to get to them. As for now, I would suggest scheduling an urgent appointment with your family doctor, if you have one, so that you can get a reference to a psychiatrist. If not, try a walk in clinic. You can also look through the phone book. You'll want a psychiatrist now, because only they can prescribe medication, which you obviously need. However, you'll want to see a psychologist/therapist for long term treatment and correction of these depressive thoughts. I think you're a cool guy, so you damn well better not kill yourself until I've had a chance to have a good conversation with you!

Yeah, I know about that. I was planning on attending this Saturday, but some stuff came up, and I can't go. Oh well, there's always next month.

It's pretty self-explanatory. I live in Brampton, personally. Anyone else near-by?

Yes, but only once. My dad made me fix it too, but working with the plaster is kinda fun, so it was OK. Have you ever worn tights?

I find anger to be, in fact, addictive. I enjoy it very much, because it gives a sense of purpose and direction, I suppose. That is, the narrow-mindedness gives a sense of focus and clarity, despite how deluded it may be. For me, I mainly become deluded into a sense of absolute power. However, being deluded as such disgusts me far more than I enjoy it.

Imho, you don't really know anger until it's caused to to depersonalize... more than once. It's a really weird feeling, like all the world is a movie, and your body is just some actor, and one external to yourself. In this state, you aren't just ready to kill some one, you will. (Not that I did, thank God.) In any case, I know what you mean about anger and depression. However, when it happens to me, I purposely start doing AB things, because it quickly pulls me out of it. Still, now I worry it may be leading to an unhealthy dependence. What can you do? EDIT: Lately, I find that instead of getting into a rage, I get into an almost sadistic mode of hatred, fear, self-loathing and contempt for the world. A generalized pit of despair, immersed in destructive energy. It's starting to get so bad that even AB things don't help that much. I fear that one day it might take over my life, and God knows what I will do... It is a truly terrifying thought. It's a good thing I'm going for therapy next week.

I usually end up going to sleep at 3am and getting up at 1pm. It's a bad habit, and now that I'm getting a job, one I have to stop. I tell you, it's these blasted forums, I love posting wayyy too much! About a month or two ago, when I first started to figure out my AB tendencies, I started sleeping with my teddy bears again. Now, I can barely imagine not doing so! They're so cute and cuddly! I cycle through my collection of teddies as I go. As I write this, I have my Grumpy CareBear teddy, and am getting ready for bed. Anyways, it's pretty much up to me what time to go to sleep. My parent's are too busy to check on me, let alone tuck me in! Sigh... I wish I had a girlfriend that I could get to take care of me.

I love my stuffed animals!!! I have the following: -- White bunny with big floppy ears, which I got the day I was born. -- White kitty that I got a few days after I was born. -- Brown lion -- Blue Grumpy Carebear -- White drum playing bear -- Green St. Patrick's bear -- Brown/fellow 5' long python -- Red/yellow iguana -- More I can't even remember! lol Usually, I sleep with one at a time, cycling about weekly between the kitty, bunny and lion. I also like to cuddle them when I'm feeling down, and having them at my side when I used the computer, especially when doing work/programming (keeps my head clear and positive). I actually thought of manufacturing/selling a ABDL inspired teddy bear. I have contacts in the Chinese manufacturing sector, but I don't if the market could justify it, or how to even go about doing it, lol.

Well, I understand your position, as I have considered it deeply myself and come to somewhat similar conclusions. However, in the case of physical evidence for God, I would have to disagree. I mean, no absolute proof can be made, but strong circumstantial evidence can be. Consider this: If God can be defined as any omnipotent entity, then it must become instantly aware of all the effects of this universe. That is, God is equivalent to a mechanism that propagates information instantaneously, and by this fact, is omnipotent of the goings on of this reality. This effect can also be constructed by a body of elements that interact at an unbounded rate, and thereby propagate perturbations instantaneously. In any case, if such a mechanism can be observed, then one is observing the "face of God" as it were. At this time, the vast majority of things we observe are limited by the speed of light, but our knowledge of the universe's physical laws is far from complete. It may be that underlying this is a faster force. Indeed, current evidence indicates that the early universe expanded at a rate more than 10^70 times the speed of light. Now, this doesn't prove that God exists, but does indicate the existence of some God-like mechanism, in the sense that I outlined previously.

By your argument, if you were truly atheist, then you must also be agnostic, as God is unprovable one way or another. Indeed, even with evidence, all one can really do is make an imperfect evaluation of certainty. In my case, the evidence I've seen leads me to believe with great certainty that God does exist. Although, I realize it's possible that others may not be in the same situation. However, they should also realize that all knowledge has some uncertainty, and hence, any statement of truth contains some element of faith. Also, before you state that there are, in fact, certain absolute and provable truths (ex. a triangle has three sides), you must consider that you could be crazy, and these concepts are delusion. Thus, while you can tend towards absolute certainty, you cannot achieve it in finite time. Now, this isn't to say that there aren't objective truths, but that truth cannot be absolutely objective, only partially. After all, the society establishes objective truths, and often to a nearly absolute degree, just not completely so. To be clear, such moral relativism is not in contradiction with a belief in God, which represents a perfectly absolute and objective truth, because as I've stated, such truth cannot be 100% known by humanity. Hence, we must treat all we know with relativism, even as our objective uncertainty decreases to negligible amounts over time.

And what makes you think that in the absence of religion, people won't determine other labels to judge and kill each other by? I mean, the Rwanda genocide certainly wasn't about religion. Neither were either of the world wars, excluding the Holocaust aspect, but even that was based more on ethnicity than religion. My point is that people will destroy regardless of the social institutions available, but if those institutions work to prevent this, it can be minimized. Good quality religion is just one such institution. Thus, so long as people flock to religion, its should be improved and supported, for its removal will generally lead to a vacuum that invites destruction. As for the original topic. I think God cares if you express infantalism in a destructive way. For example, if you let it take over your life utterly, to the point where you contribute nothing to society. Again, if you flaunt it in ways that damage your reputation excessively. However, if it is well managed, reasonably used for healing, soothing and such, then I think God would support it. I'm certain he wants us to be healthy, and if infantalism is a part of that, then that's fine.

To argue, back-stab and inflict pain is to be human. At the same time, so is to reconcile, protect and heal. It just depends on the company you keep, but even then there are no guarantees. To ask people to stop doing either of these things, is to ask them to become something other then human, a feat currently impossible. The best we can do is deal with the situations as they arise. Make the best of the good, and minimize the bad, but we can never eliminate either.

Actually, if you look at most wars, they occur because people believe in themselves WAY too much. They think they are perfect or superior somehow, and hence all others should be eliminated or subjugated. This kind of self-worship is what starts most wars, and most religions deal with the appreciation of all humanity. Just because some religious people worship themselves, and God/humanity second, does not mean that's what most religions are about. Those people are missing the point, because I know that the Catholic/Christian, Jewish and Islamic faiths at least, are about believing in yourself within and as a part of society. In any case, it's clear that self-worship has caused far more bloodshed than any religion. If our bloody history is any indication, we do need religion. However, we need good religions, just as we need good government and societies. There are many faiths that fit this profile, despite the errant member here and there, and the problem periods of their pasts.

I like contemporary classical, chiptunes, metal, some jazz and a few pop songs. Songs I like include, in no particular order: Balamb Gardern -- Nobuo Uematsu Ace of Spades -- Moterhead Hit the Road Jack -- Ray Charles Breazy -- Nubuo Uematsu Tank! -- Yoko Kanno & The Seatbelts Areodynamic -- Daft Punk Links 123 -- Rammstein Jackie Blue -- Ozark Mountain Daredevils Ava Adore -- Smashing Pumpkins Lady Picture Show -- Stone Temple Pilots I Think I'm Paranoid -- Garbage There's a lot more ones that I like too, but don't have time to list. Also, I only have about 25GB of music, or about 5000 songs. Included in that is every Final Fantasy related song produced thus far. Usually, I just put my player on random, or I listen to either SceneMusic or one of SomaFM's stations.

I'm the 2nd oldest of 4, and also the most intelligent. My IQ was 147 in grade 7, but is probably closer to 160 now, and I rarely meet people on my level. However, I have a poor work ethic, but that's mainly due to my ADHD and anxiety issues. In fact, I'm very good at organizing, planning and scheduling, I just don't do it enough, lol. Also, I can say that my older brother is intelligent with decent work ethic, my younger brother is quite intelligent with good work ethic, and my youngest brother is somewhat smart with almost no work ethic at all.

It's simple, if it causes more harm to you or others by not wearing diapers, then wear them, but otherwise, don't do it. Thus, it's becomes an evaluation of yourself, your needs and your situation. Personally, I know that if I don't act like a child now and then, my anxieties will overwhelm me, so I must do it live healthily. However, this is not the case with everyone (or most). As for God, I'm certain He/She wants us to do what's healthy, and thus, good. It's not a question of cuteness or weirdness, but rather of what soothes your soul so that God may reside in it.

I dunno, my first reaction is usually "I must be crazy!" followed by "And what's wrong with that? lol" It's an anxiety issue, that's all. When the anxiety doesn't bother me, I just want to play games with them! I have to stop myself and think of the social situation though. Still, I don't think I'm in the wrong body, because I don't think it matters really. I mean, a large number of my brain cells are the same one's I had as a toddler. I dunno, I guess I'm just not that self-conscious about it.

Well, if you look at the latter statements "He needed a Dad to humiliate him and show him who's boss. Who's the boss of markie now?" it's quite clear that infantalism isn't the only force at work here. There is a clear dom/sub relationship, which I believe successful people more often enjoy, but you should check this with your own research. Anyways, consider this: Being a big-shot type, this guy is very likely under a large amount of stress, with great expectations about his behaviour put on him. If this is the case, then it's hardly surprising he wants some time when he doesn't have to worry about it, and regression is a way of doing that. Moreover, you have no idea about what other events is his life may have drawn him back to his baby-state. "Back" is an important word here, since everyone's been a baby at some point, so it's foreign to no one. Personally, I like to be free enough to consider the merits of that time, of which there are many that our all too often stereotypical society could use. Certainly, there are cons too, but so long as this guy's identity is not exposed, how serious can they be? Perhaps it puts him at an added risk, but if he's such a big-shot, then his wealth should last until he dies no matter what anyone thinks, and then there's discrimination laws. In fact, I speculate that his clear open-mindedness has played a large part is his success. It's well known that empathy and emotional expression are critical to one's success in life (see the book Emotional Intelligence). Perhaps, he's so intelligent in this area that he realizes he's worse off by not satisfying this need, and being wracked by longing for it. If his big-shot success is any indication, it's a good choice. I can only conclude by saying that people don't do things without reasons, regardless how well you understand them. If you can get past the initial emotional shock, which I'm sure you felt, you may be able to determine them. At the very least, if you want to be successful, then approach the situation with an open mind. I mean, for whatever flaws Markie may have, he is clearly doing far better than most of us.