Time for Change

My last leakage was a few months ago. I had a chance to be alone for two days straight. I used four diapers during that time. I accidentally fell asleep on a futon with an over full diaper. Sometime during the night, I woke up needing to go and just let it before drifting off again. However, in the morning, it turned out much of that had soaked out and into the futon. And my clothes. Cleaning up is never fun, but necessary if you don't want a pissy smelling house. And you're not ready to come out to your partner.

Actually, while typing up a topic on the site, laying on my back in my basement, I felt my tummy gurgle like a fart. So, I concentrated to get it out when things just started happening quickly. I wasn't planning on messing this evening, but got caught off guard. It was quite a load and cuts down my diaper time now. When you gotta go....

I have noticed lately that I'm having a lot more dreams where I am wearing diapers. I'm not some believer that dreams hold some magic or destiny, it's just like all of my dreams prior, but I've looked down to see myself diapered. I do not sleep in them, as I have not told my husband about these things. There is a big part of me that would love to tell him so he could be apart of this, but I just don't think it's something for him, and I don't want to upset anyone. Within these dreams, it's like sometimes I'm wearing pants, shorts, or a skirt, but there have been a couple where I've only got a tshirt on or even a onesie. They're nothing fantastical or thrilling, just mundane dreams about life and work, but I'm diapered. Sometimes I wake up during this as I realize I have to pee. I'm not a bed wetter, but I think when I realize I'm in a diaper, I just want to go. I've become relaxed about using my diapers when I get the chance to wear them, so when I'm in them I just pee if the urge comes by. Do any of you have "the diaper dream"? Is it something that stands out to you, hold meaning, or just everyday life?

I never got caught really. When I was much younger, around 12 or 13, I would use my old underwear stuffed with toilet paper. I would dispose of the toilet paper after use and wash my undies. There were a few tiny doors in my room that lead to the rest of the attic where I kept them. Nobody ever went into them, so I felt safe. My mom decided to clean my room and found a pair just inside the door with stains. She asked me and I said it was diarrhea and couldn't make it in time. I've always been more careful at hiding anything I don't want people to know about. Now though, my stash I hide from my husband sits in the middle of the floor in a non descript box with another heavy box on top. He rarely goes into,the basement and is not the cleaning type. Maybe apart of me wants him to find it. Dunno. Getting a little deep here.

It might be because I'm paranoid and don't want to have this discussion with my husband yet, but I typically walk around in a sleep shirt and bedtime pants (super soft, stretchy, and colorful). I'm always worried he would show up, or peeping neighbors. Not that I don't enjoy this attire. It's fun to see what I normally wear to bed with this big bulge of a diaper. Maybe it also feels a little more "naughty" to wet oneself when fully dressed. Sometimes in the basement (play area) I'll go without pants. I'd love to get some onesies and rompers. Buts that's another time...

I've not had the chance to wear very often, but I just love the Lil Monsters from Rearz! They hold up for a whole day really well and look adorable. But I also really like the others I have, but haven't worn them enough since these Rearz are so nice. Iwant to enjoy my time with the best, since it's rare to wear. I want to try more brands, styles, and accessories, but I need more time to use first. That's a whole 'nother topic.