D_Rainger

Sometimes you have to be careful what you ask for..... you might get the whole thing! I hope Alicia is more than just a gold digger. And what about Dr. Jadin? What is she up to? Thanks, -DR

Nope! They are a myth like the jackalope and hoop snake. -DR

An associate at work mentioned this site to me as a sort of "virtual mall" saying that I could save 7% on things and that I could get a "commission" on cell phone sales, etc. Sounds like a scam to me. I did some checking on line and it looks like a multi-level marketing scheme. Supposedly costs about $300 up front. Anybody know anything about this? Thanks, -DR

The bears are cute. I wouldn't worry about it too much. If you have a situation where the bears are inappropriate get a little "travel bear" or something like that you can put in your pocket or keep under your pillow. -DR

You sound like a victim of Hollywood romance and the unrealistic demands of popular "self image". There is no "perfect" situation or Mommy and Daddy. They are made over time and not "found". Psychologist Abraham Maslow's theory of self-actualization has helped me many times over the years. Depression dogs me every fall and winter, my marriage of 33 years is loveless, but I have learned to cope and be a productive citizen. Don't worry about what you aren't or what you don't have. Capitalize on what you are and what assets you have. A mommy and daddy aren't the key to your happiness. That rests with you. -DR

I'm very sorry to hear about your experience. Something similar happened to me about 20 years ago. I was working as a machine tool operator and was basically told that the plant was shutting down, if I wanted a job I would have to relocate with my family to another town. As it turned out it was a good experience. I took six months off and drew unemployment while I did volunteer work and spent time with my young family. I bounced around through a couple of interim jobs after that and eventually was able to buy into a franchise that lasted me another seven years. After I sold that I went to work for a large warehouse and have been there almost 13 years. So if it is any consolation, my lay-off turned out to be a good thing. There is no such thing as loyalty to employees any more. To most companies we are "human resources" to be used in any way management sees fit. This is a grave error on the part of corporations today and they will eventually pay for it. -DR

Yes, I agree. Bad press will always be there. We can do our part by being good and productive citizens, loving our families and respecting other people's sensibility. But I would much rather talk about happy and encouraging things than trying to sort out every negative expression and innuendo. -DR

Why would anyone want to force themselves or their credo on anyone else? What ever happened to "Love thy neighbor"? Or "Do unto others"? Practice your fetish in private where it belongs. If you must go public, why don't you do like the naturists and have special places set aside for it? Otherwise, keep your diapers under cover. -DR

Advertisers use a gauge called the number of "impressions". This simply means the number of times a product is brought before the public's eye. It doesn't necessarily matter if it is good or bad, just that the product generates public exposure. I have learned something, however, during my life. When I was young I dressed in jeans and long hair and lamented the fact that nobody took me seriously. When I cleaned up, put on a suit and started to act in a more mature fashion, I began to gain respect. If you are concerned about negative press use some discretion yourself. -DR

I will make it right by you Pull-ups man. You are about my only loyal fan. The site I frequented is long gone. I wish there was another one like it today. I don't have anywhere else to go. -DR

This story reflects my dissatisfaction with this site. Many years ago under a different name, I was part of a community where I felt accepted and at peace with my paraphilia. After that community was disbanded I looked for a new place to express my feelings through my stories. I tried several online groups before coming here. In 2008, I left for an extended period because I realized I didn't fit in. I really tried hard. I wrote all kinds of book and movie reviews. I started a couple of threads. Nothing was very succesful. Not too long ago I came back. I'm older now. I'm having a hard time understanding some of the posts. There is an edge to some of the comments that wasn't there before. I was ridiculed by others for some of the ideas I expressed. There is an "inner circle" of regulars who have private jokes and I feel excluded. The stories that I really like to write and read are about juvenile incontinence. That seems to be a sacred prohibition around here. So, I did what every self-respecting writer does: I killed my hero. And with that in mind I must say "Goodnight". -DR P.S. And then the dawn.

Chapter 4 And Then Goodnight Copyright © 2010 by D_Rainger This is a work of fiction Jessie struggles to wake. Pain. Visions of the night before. Forsaken. Fear. Determined footsteps in the hall. “Get your clothes on.” Door slams. Jessie rides in silence. The world flashing by outside the car window. Jessie watches her hands. “What have I lost?” Unsure. Ties her stomach in knots. Jessie can hear her mother talking beyond the door. The voices rise and fall. Words are formless. Time has stopped. “Here she is, Doctor,” Jessie’s mother pulls her into the office. Door shuts behind her. Jessie standing still. Authority, like her father. “Sit down,” fake smile. Hail fellow well met. “Your mother says you have been confused lately.” What should she say? Thoughts become a whirlwind in the vortex of her mind. “Are you having trouble at school? Do you like your teachers? Who is your best friend? Are you a good student? What are your hobbies? How do you feel about your parents? Do you think they love you? Too many questions. Too many thoughts. Too much to concentrate on. Frenzy. Panic. Helpless. Pills. That’s what to doctor gave her. Mother stands over Jessie as she swallows them. School. Jessie can’t wait. Hasn’t been able to talk to Laurie. Took cell phone away. Breathless down the hall. There she is. Running. “Laurie!” she yells. Turning away with some other girls. Ignoring her. Jessie stands and watches Laurie’s back drift away from her. Jessie leaves notes. Jessie tries to sit down at lunch. Jessie waits until Laurie goes into the bathroom. “What’s wrong?” Jessie pleads. “Go away! My mother says I can’t talk to you.” Laurie turns and leaves Jessie alone. Broken. Destroyed. Heart rent in two. Jessie staggers into the light of the hall. Back to the classroom. Boy sticks out his leg. Jessie falls, laughter. “Oops! Sorry.” Jessie limps to her seat. Blood on her handkerchief. Books go flying from her arms after class. Scattered on the ground. Jessie stoops to pick them up. She looks up. Laurie. Notebook kicked in her face. Mean. Spiteful. Betrayed. At home alone. Stuck in her room. No where to go. On her bed. Sweeping circles engulf her. Waves of grief. Music, sweet music. Her only relief. Jessie is drowning. Every song sung just for her. Iron butterflies in the Garden of Eden. Ideas. Too many mountains and not enough stairs to climb. Blown out like a candle in the wind. How can you mend a broken heart? Drinking whiskey and rye. This will be the day that I die. Gratefully dead. Going down that long lonely highway. Turning a whiter shade of pale. Goodnight, my love, The tired old moon is descending. Goodnight, my love, My moment with you is now ending. It was so heavenly Holding you close to me. It will be heavenly To hold you again in a dream Sleep tight my love, Goodnight my love Remember that you’re mine. The note -- “I love you.” The scarf -- tied around the light in the ceiling. The chair -- in the middle of the room. Jessie takes off her clothes. She steps up on the chair and fastens the scarf around her neck. She jumps into the dark. And then “Goodnight”. And then the dawn.

I don't even understand a lot of the commercials any more. -DR

Copyright © 2010 by D_Rainger This is a work of fiction There is a book: “Annie on my Mind.” Jessie reads at night. She doesn’t tell her parents. She has a secret. Laurie is all right. Her medicine keeps her from having convulsions. They are together at school. When Jessie is there the kids don’t tease Laurie. Her knight in shining armor. Jessie has strength she didn’t know. She fights for her friend. Laurie gives Jessie courage. Laurie still wears pull-ups to school. Her medicine still being adjusted. She doesn’t want to have another accident in her pants. Jessie comes to school in pull-ups too. She takes Laurie into the stall and guides Laurie’s hand inside her pants. They hold each other close. It is hard to leave to go to class. Jessie tells her parents about her friend Laurie. She is careful. She doesn’t tell them everything. Smiles all around. “Glad you have found a little friend,” they gush. “Why don’t you invite her over? You could have a sleepover.” Pretending to be normal parents. It is heaven or paradise. Laurie stays with Jessie. The are together. They eat and talk and laugh and dream. So good to be close. Jessie feels complete. Mother looks in and nods in approval. “My little girl is reaching out. Growing up. She’ll be all right.” Pull-ups under their dresses. Jessie and Laurie feel wicked. They sit next to each other at dinner. Dared each other. “Can’t go to the bathroom, have to use your diaper.” They look at each other. Getting hard to hold it. Hard to make conversation. Hard to eat dessert. Hard to be polite. They race upstairs. Door shuts. Out of breath. “Don’t think I can wait much longer.” Laurie’s arms enfold Jessie. Squeeze her. Close. Lips come together. Jessie forgets, her mind lost in Laurie’s kiss. Pull-up begins to fill. Jessie doesn’t care. Like a baby lost in its mother’s arms. They strip off their dresses, Laurie’s bra and Jessie’s vest. Standing in just diapers. Jessie sees that Laurie’s pull-up is fat too. They come together. A new feeling, skin against skin, breast against chest. “Come on,” Laurie says. She pulls Jessie into the bathroom, into the shower with pull-ups on. Warm water, diapers swell ridiculously. Thick and spongy between their legs. Can’t stop touching, rubbing. Laurie leans against the wall. Warm water spilling over her. She turns Jessie and pulls her back against her. Hands feel Jessie. She relaxes against Laurie’s bosom. Across her stomach, up her chest, around her breast buds. Jessie is lost. Lost in her own thoughts, ecstasy. Laurie’s hands find Jessie’s leaves and unfold them to touch the flower underneath. Jessie’s knees go weak. She is dreaming of Laurie. Laurie’s lips, her smell, her body, her nakedness, her beauty. And she is gone to her own private Xanadu. Laurie is a magician, a wizard, a sorceress. Jessie’s head is swimming. She has never tasted pure pleasure. Laurie is an object of veneration. Jessie worships her. Jessie looks at her friend with love. It is like the book. Jessie wants to give. Wants to express her heart, her love. She cradles Laurie’s face in her hands. “I love you.” They fall into bed together. They find each other. They fall asleep in each other’s arms. Like an explosion the door opens and the light is on. Cold air startles Jessie as the covers are torn away. “What the hell is going on?” Rage. Jessie’s mother like a storm. “What have you been doing?” Jessie scrambles. Over Laurie across the sheets, tumbles on the floor in front of her mother. No place to hide. Exposed. Jessie stands to protect her friend. “Its my fault, Mom. It was my idea. We were just playing. It’s not what you think,” words tumble out of Jessie’s mouth. Jessie is slapped across the face. Hard, with malice, anger, disgust. She falls to the floor. Laurie is ripped from the bed. SMACK! She is struck on the backside. “Pack your things. I’ll not have a little Sappho in my house” Laurie is thrown face first into her pile of clothes. Jessie’s father is at the door. “What’s going on?” “I found these two in bed. Together. Naked.” Laurie is pulling on her clothes. Jessie’s mother drags her out of the room with her pack trailing behind her. The noise dies in the distance. Click, the door shuts. Jessie is looking at the floor. Her father’s slippered feet in front of her. Heavy breathing. She is lifted in the air. She is spread across his lap. His hand falls again and again until Jessie no longer feels. He drops her on the floor and staggers out the door. Jessie lies in her tears and pain. The glass of sweet wine is broken and lies in pieces on the ground. In sorrow and exhaustion she is carried away on the wind of sleep.

I wouldn't go beyond what is appropriate. You might be able to do some detective work. Everyone likes to talk about themselves and you might engage her in conversation. If she invites you over you might find clues (don't snoop). If you really care about someone and are not just trying to use them, the relationship will come first anyway. As a sidelight I was in a chain store and a young woman ahead of me was buying XL Goodnites. It started me to wonder and I tried to think of a way to engage her in conversation (which I never did). Something like, "does your daughter wet the bed too?" Perhaps we could have gotten into a discussion. -DR

I'm strictly DL and only wear maybe once a month. I also enjoy a little cross-dressing. I try to keep it in it's place because I also have many other rolls I play: husband, head of the household, bread winner, volunteer, grandfather, jack-of-all-trades. -DR

Seriously?

I have a lot of fun with Goodnites. Walgreen's has a store brand that are white with a puckered top that are somewhat like the original Goodnites. The sissy side of me likes to wear the girl's goodnites sometimes. I'm small enough that I can still squeeze into 5T pull-ups. How's that for an accomplishment?!? -DR

Well, as you know and sometimes deride me for, I NEVER tell anyone. I don't trust a soul and use this defense as a means of survival. -DR

It is difficult to find one topic on this site that doesn't dissolve into petty bickering, name calling, and general disrespect. It gives me a headache. -DR

A person I respect very much once said "the kind thing is the right thing." -DR

Nice weather we're having lately. -DR

The Golden Age of the web is over anyway. -DR

Strong fathers are a blessing. I won't bore you with my story. Let me only add that I like to think of being reunited with my father and my other loved ones at some time and under better conditions in the future. -DR

Things I have learned this month: 1. All cats are grey in the dark. 2. A pig bought on credit is forever grunting. 3. Blame is safer than praise. 4. Clothes make the man. 5. To eat is human, to digest, divine. 6. Man is his own worst enemy. 7. The only real equality is in the cemetery. -DR