Vic

I don't know about you, but I would have to have a talk with my spouse over this topic, because if this is the way she truly feels then she must love a "sick" and "perverted" guy who's halfway down the road to being a "gay child molester", and if this was the way she felt about ME then I'd have to pack my bags and leave. There's no way in hell I'd live with someone who'd disrespect me like that. I'd tell her that I'm the same loving, caring, normal (for the most part), guy that she married, and if she couldn't see that then she was blind. If she continued to think of me in the closed minded way, where she couldn't put herself in my shoes for even a second, and come to realize that this wasn't something that I asked for, but was a part of me none the less. Something that I've had to live with my whole life, and was finally able to accept about myself (which for a lot of us isn't an easy thing at all), and how her attitude just makes it that much more difficult to live with. And if she still persisted in that kind of closed mindedness, and showed that kind of inconsideration for your emotional well being, well then there ain't much for it but for me to put on my boogie shoes and head on down the road, plenty of fish in the ocean, you know? Peace, Vic

Have had OAB for several years, and developed diabetes a few years ago, that contributed to a bed wetting problem, (I think, because I wet the bed when I was a kid, up until I turned 12, so it could just be the recurance of this problem). So now I'm diapered every night. Have had some urge incon with the OAB, but was having major back problems at the time with two disks bulging out into my spinal cord, and vertibrae sitting on nerves,and that has gotten better since my back was operated on in June 08. The daytime wetting seemed to be more of a problem with the worse my back got, I put off the surgery as long as I could (2 years), but after it was done I wondered why it took me so long to get it. I still have OAB, and I still wet the bed, but have very few daytime episodes. I have three more disks that are bulging out, so I might have to have surgery again, and I'm only 50! Sometimes things just suck, dealing with pain isn't fun at all I can tell you. Peace, Vic

What was your first clue?? Peace, Vic

I lived in Germany for two years, Alaska for four, and a few other states as well. I've spent some time in a lot of different states, and I've been to Mexico, and Canada. I loved visiting NY city, Hawaii, Florida, and just too many places to list here, and I have to say that I've found each of them to to be great even though they all have their differences. If I could live the way that I could choose it would have to be living in Alaska during the summer, and Hawaii in the winter. Also being free to visit other places as I pleased would be great (so if you want to see me live like that send me lots and lots of money, hee hee). I'm glad that I live in the US though, and wouldn't change that for the world. Peace, Vic

As a guy from a totally f*%ked up home of dysfunction I'd say "no way". However, if I could go there knowing then what I know now, I would. Then it's possible that I could change the way my parents did things, and save the whole family a lot of pain. Peace, Vic

MY KARMA RAN OVER YOUR DOGMA!!! Yeah, like Bettypooh says, religion is the cancer on many peoples souls, too bad. JESUS SAVES, at 1.1/4% compounded annually. Peace, Vic

OMFG! You didn't just say that! OMFG! It's so true! Jesus saves! At 1.1/4% compounded annually. Peace, Vic

Thanks everybody, I really have gotten a lot of support from all of you here on the board, and in the chat room, and I do appreciate it. It means a lot to know that there are a group of people who do care about me, even though I've never had the opportunity to meet them face to face. If I ever did have that chance I know what I'd have to say to all of you, and that is "thank you all very much". I do try to use my sense of humor when things get bad, I learned my sense of humor from my uncle, he used to tell all us boys all kinds of raunchy jokes back when we were kids. I've since learned a lot more of them, and when he was going through kemo for the cancer that killed him, I used to call him up everyday, and tell him another dirty joke. That helped both of us get through a really rough patch. Sometimes it doesn't work out, what does work everytime? Then I try some of the methods that have been mentioned here myself, or I go online and come here to DD while I listen to some good tunes. Hey it beats vegging out in front of the TV, I can tell you. So thanks so much for all of you, and the great responses I've seen on here, I see my therapist on Mondays usually, so I won't be seeing him till Thursday (our alternate plan day) this week, but you've all been there to listen and offer up advice, so in a way I feel like I've already had my theraputic session for this week. Thank you all very much. Peace, Vic

I'm sorry, but I have a problem with the thinking that depression might be a process of evolution to help some people figure out what underlying problem they have is. First, bi-polar runs in my family (though not all admit to it, like my Dad who was known for flying off the handle at the drop of a hat and decking you even though you were just a child). Second, my Mother was pregnant with me (I was the third child out of five), and had gained weight due to the two previous pregnancies, and my Dad was on her about the wieght, so she asked her doctor about it and he prescibed her diet pills (I was born in 1959 and there was no real notion of pre-natal care, the diet pills she got were essentially pharmacutical speed). All of my sibs were healthy, but I was born with severe asthma, and was never expected to live to 10, let alone live a full life. So I believe that chemicals, and NOT nature has had more to do with the depression that I go through, although I cannot back that up because I lack a doctoral degree. Plus I have PTSD, which doesn't help me out much either. When I'm out and about in public you'd never know that I have the mental problems that I do, as I don't talk about them a lot, but the longer you're around me the more you think "he's kinda different". That was a problem with some when I was in the army, but I managed to take care of them without it coming back on me in a bad way. I just refuse to let others push me around, even if inside I feel like I'm more messed up than the next guy. Don't get me wrong, if I'm in the wrong, I don't have a problem admitting that, and when I see that that is the case I do apologize. But I won't be treated as a second class citizen either. Well I guess I've rambled enough for now, thank you all for your replies. Peace, Vic

Sad tale really, I feel for you. Especially because she works where you do. If you're asking for advice (which you most clearly are), then I say end it as quickly and quietly as possible, and hope for the best as far as work goes. You are clearly incompatable with her, or she is with you, doesn't much matter which, you're heading for disaster, so change course now, before it's too late. Sorry, Vic

I gotta add at this point probably the best song for AB/DL, and that is Gibby Haynes "Kaiser" where the chorus is "I'll be the Kaiser, you'll wear the diapers". It can be found on Gibby's solo album "Gibby Haynes and his problem". If you don't know Gibby, he's the frontman for the "Butthole Surfers" a long unappreciated band. The only song of theirs that they play on the radio is "Pepper". My guess is that people don't like to say "Butthole Surfers" on the radio. A lot of their stuff has been used in movies though. Peace, Vic

Hi again all, and thanks for the replies. I've gone without medication before, and the highs are great, but the lows are devastating. My family all tell me to stay on the meds because when I'm on them I talk more like a sane person. I have dabbled in many different hobbies and lifestyles, but none have helped with the depression. I used to love to go hiking in the mountains though. Here there are no mountains, and no real wildlife to speak of. I also used to go camping by myself for like a week, just take a couple of good books, food, water, and of course my diapers, and just get away from it all. Oh don't let me forget my boom box and music. I don't care that much for TV, but I do watch the comedy channel sometimes, but it really doesn't do much for me, then I find myself drifting over to TRU TV, which does nothing for me, but is interesting. I like to spend most of my time listening to music, and some of my time I spend here on the DD, but will sometimes go long periods of time between logging on. I'm thinking about getting off the meds I'm on and trying something different, but I have to wean off the drugs I'm taking under a physicians care, because of terrible side effects and withdrawl that can be hell on earth (I know because I once decided to go off the meds cold turkey, NOT GOOD). I am currently maxed out on the type of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers that I am on, and have been for years. So I think it's time for a change. I would just like to get it done before winter sets in, because like my sister I have SAD, and that's a bitch to deal with. Curiousity, I do have a dog, little miniature dachshund, and he's quite the character, he does help when I'm bummed out. I just still find myself falling into the pit a lot, and my mood will swing from being really down, to being really pissed off, in like .010 of a second (gotta love being bi-polar). Shelley and Buzz are used to it, but they shouldn't have to be. I just hope that a new look into the meds I'm on will provide some type of help, I've lived sans meds before, and people say that I've got like 16 different personalities. My family say that I should stay on the meds but I'm tired of being where I am, and somethings gotta give. Hopefully I'll find the answers I seek. Peace, Vic

Hi, another topic got me started to thinking, and I realize that most of the time I'm dealing with depression. Now I know not everyone is like this, but it's something that I battle with almost every day. I'm taking a boatload of meds every day, but it's just to maintain a level of depression that is livable (barely). Do any of you struggle with this as I do? Is this a normal thing for some of you? When I wear diapers I'm not as depressed as I normally am, but I have to be feeling good enough to put on a diaper in the first place, and this doesn't always work anyway. I think a lot about what the other side has in store for us, it's something we will all face, and everyone who has come before us has moved into. I often think that it has to be better than what we have in the here and now, and I have many friends and loved ones there as it is. That is why I don't fear dying, I'm not suicidal, but I'm not living to prolong my life either. How many of you feel the same way, that life is a hard chore you have to drag yourself through every day, and the best part of your day is when you can go back to bed and forget about all of it for a little while? I know that I'm not the only one who goes through this, so who else is in this boat? I'll be happy to get any replies of those of you who are like me, looking forward to the finish line and the end of the race. After all we all wind up in the same place in the end, so what does it matter if we're looking forward to it or not? It's not wrong to just be tired and wanting things to wind down. As it is I'm living with someone and her 12 year old son. I've been here since he turned 7, and I've been as good an example for him as I know how to be. He knows the way I live, and why I live the way I do, but he accepts it as a part of me (he doesn't know that I like to wear diapers though). So I am doing something with the time I have left, I just wish that I had less time than I do. I know others would give everything that they have to have more time in their lives, but I just can't relate. The way I see it is "who wants to live forever?". Nobody that I know ever dreamed I'd live as long as I have, including me, but I keep on surprising everybody, yet I always ask myself "will it ever end?". If you've felt this way I want to know, because I can't be the only one who feels this way, there has to be someone else who's about done with this sh@t. Peace Vic

Depends suck, the only thing you can depend on them for is leaks. If you must shop at stores then go to a medical supply store where you can at least find attends, much better leak protection for you without costing too much. If you want a better diaper then go to xp medical through the ads on this site and buy some abena x-plus, they will work very well for you and are shipped in a plain brown box. Peace, Vic

I've read a lot of different posts from people wondering why they are the way that they are, and all I can say is that nobody really knows if this is because of the way that they were raised, or if they were just born this way. So far as religion goes I like to stay out of that, as I believe in God, but not religion and all the guilt that comes with it. It is sad, from what I've seen, how some people repress themselves and carry around so much guilt because they believe that wearing diapers is something that God wouldn't approve of. I've never seen in any religion that it said that wearing diapers was a "sin" or "wrong". I knew this guy who otherwise was a good person, he really was, but was convinced that his desire to be diapered meant he was surely going to hell. Sad really. From what I've seen nobody knows why some of us like to wear diapers, there are those who grew up in abusive homes, and there are those who had wonderful childhoods. So there doesn't seem to be a common thread, just that some people like to wear diapers, and the rest of the population doesn't. I really don't think that your desire will get you sent to hell, hell I don't even believe in hell, but I'm sure that you wouldn't go there for something you have that you didn't even ask for. That's like saying that someone born with developmental disability is going to hell for being retarded, it just doesn't make sense. Cut yourself some slack man, God wants you to be happy, really he does. As long as what you are doing doesn't hurt anybody else, and isn't illegal, you shouldn't worry about it. As far as the people you are living with, just tell me how in the world it is any of their business? Are they likely to call you a sinner? If so MOVE because you can NEVER be holy enough for that sort, who love to pass judgement on all, but don't want the same in return. Just listen to your heart, and you'll find the right path. Peace, Vic

Over 350 CD's, I don't store music on my computer as it might crash some day, then no more music. A couple of years ago I did count my CD's and I had 350 then, but I've bought more since, how many I don't know. Peace, Vic

Drugs are bad m'kay, so don't do drugs, m'kay? cause if you do drugs then you're bad m'kay? cause drugs are bad m'kay? Smokins bad m'kay? you shouldn't smoke cause smokins bad m'kay? Drinking is bad m'kay? So you shouldn't drink, cause drinkins bad m'kay? Peace, Vic

I wear mediums from every brand I've tried. Peace, Vic

I always tell the truth, except when I lie. The truth is that we all lie at some point in our lives, it's human we all do it. Here on this site though I just give what it is that I have, the real unvarnished me that I'm sure pisses some off, but that others say, "hey, he's kinda got a point there.". I use my real name, and my real face, although the picture is about 16 years old now. What I am is what you get, what do I have to hide? Peace, Vic

Song Of The South was made back when racial stereotypes were cool. It is a racist movie, and that is why Disney has dumped it. Now if we could just get everybody to dump Disney the world would be a happier place, (it's a small world after all). Peace, Vic P.S. Walt Disney was an anti-Semite.

I LOVE rock, from classic, (which I do occasionally listen to) to metal. I like punk, goth, new wave, alternative, def metal, anything with a hard fast beat that makes your ears want to bleed. I also love nights where the wind is blowing hard and it's thundering with lightning coming down, it makes my heart sing, Peace, Vic

Like a lot of people have said, would like to be able to fly. If not that then the ability to time travel, set up stocks, place bets etc. Peace, Vic

Unless they are pro-choice. Peace, Vic

Cowboys?? Boo, hisss. Go Colts!! Peace, Vic

Of course I remember you! Welcome back! Peace, Vic