Vic

I love kids, I have nieces and nephews, and a son, who, at twelve, is almost as tall as me. I've never seen a reason to spank a kid, there are so many other ways to correct bad behavior. I kick Buzz's ass when he has it coming. I tell him "go start on the dishes!", if he tells me "no" I say "once you're done with them get the bathroom clean". It changes his attitude pretty quickly. We also remove priveledges such as time for vidoe games, TV or being on the computer. I tell him "you doing extra chores, or chores you don't like, is me kicking your butt!". He understands this, and things have always worked out well. He has had some colossal screw ups before, and I kept him busy in the house and out in the yard doing chores for the entire weekend, I told him, "if you're awake, you're gonna be working". I was abused as I grew up, by both of my parents, so were my siblings. I have seen first hand what it does to kids, so I learned from their mistakes. There are other ways to discipline kids without corporal punishment. Peace, Vic

Buzz is twelve and he knows I have a bed wetting problem and couldn't care less. I keep my diapers on my side of the bed, so if he ever went in there he would probably see them, but as I said, he doesn't care. I don't tell him that I wear for enjoyment though, as it's none of his business. Peace, Vic

You should have said "how very insightful of you", smiled, and walked on. I bet that would have really blown her mind! Things would never be the same after that. As it is she'll still be wondering about you for years to come. Peace, Vic

Disabled Desert Storm too. Peace, Vic

You never own a cat, the cat either owns you, or just decides to shack up with you. Oh by the way all of your furniture and curtains are fair game. Peace, Vic

I never said that two months is too soon to have ANY problems, but that it was too soon to have THOSE types of problems IE: that she showed her manipulative side (here I guess that we agree because you didn't say anything about her using the old "let's play the guilt trip routine"). If I were dating a girl for six weeks and I didn't feel like things were working out I would just go ahead and start dating others. If I were living with someone for two months and she showed that she was manipulative I would RUN. And I am only fifty, I'm too young to be your grandpa, besides I'm raising a twelve year old, so again, too young to be a grandpa. Peace, Vic

I've been in many relationships Drew, and my first post was advising looking into things in the relationship to determine whether or not he should stick it out. Actually though I feel that it only being a two month old relationship that it was far too early to have these kinds of problems, (I personally would have taken a powder when she wanted to move in together after just two months, waaaay to soon from my experience). The problems with these kinds of relationships is that they are usually infatuations, which go off like a rocket, and burn out early, usually leaving one or both parties burned. Relationships take time to build, you really need to get to know each other, you need to get to know ALL about each other, before you decide to do something as permanent as shacking up with each other. The shortest I ever did was six months, and the longest was ten months, but even then there were problems. However the problems weren't as difficult to overcome, as we knew each other better, and were able to work these things out. It's not a true statement Drew, to say that "all those guys saying ditch the bitch have never been in a relationship" many of them have, and are speaking from their own experiences, hoping to help him avoid the heartache that they themselves have gone through. I know that you're 26 and still know everything, so you are going to automatically discount everything I have to say, because it doesn't "jive" with your over inflated ego, so I am saying this for those others here on the board who think differently than you, and didn't care for your insulting tone. When I advised him to run I was speaking about the manipulative way in which she was treating him, I lived with a manipulative woman before, and I can tell you it is not healthy. When she told him that he was "dumping him over diapers" she was trying to send him on a major guilt trip. That is straight out manipulation, and if she's manipulative after just two months of being together, just think of what she could do a year down the road when she's learned where all his buttons are, not a good picture. Diapers are just an addiction you say, that "all of us don't understand in our own selves", here you can only speak just for yourself, my man. How can you know the lives of everyone here on this board? I've known that I liked diapers from the very first memory that I have, it is a part of me, something that is hardwired into the very core of my being. If I thought that I was the only one wired this way and that all the others here just had an addiction that they could stop at any time I would have to declare you a genious, and that all of our problems were solved, but alas, I don't and regard you as another clueless fool (don't feel too bad though we are all of us fools, it just takes age and wisdom to discover this in ourselves). Like I've said I have been in many relationships, I have explained about my diaper side to my SO's before the relationships went too far, and all of them said it was okay, three of them decided that it was not okay later on, and I did go without the diapers for them, but this caused resentment inside me, and the relationship was really doomed from that moment on, and I would have been better off ending it then. Inside I was denying a part of myself, and as time went on they wanted me to be like this or that, (because women do like to try and change us a little) on top of the underlying resentment I resisted any change,(because there is always going to be problems where resentments exist). I'm in a relationship now that I've been in for over five years, and she is accepting of the diapers, as were a couple of my other relationships (those ended because of other problems, both of the women from those relationships are still my friends though), but diapers are not a big part of my life. Our relationship is about caring for each other, and trying to make things go in this crazy world we live in. We have problems, everybody does, and I have issues to work through, but she's here, trying to work through them with me. So don't whip out your soap box and start lashing out at people from your pulpit, they will resent you for it, or discount you as a fool. You are young, and still have much to learn young paduaun. Peace, Vic

Man....What a manipulative little bitch! Sure wants to give you the major guilt trip "you dumped me for diapers!!! Boo hoo!!" Screw that! The truth is that diapers are a part of you that you can't just cut out of you, they'll never go away, so she rejects this part of you, what's the next thing about you that she's gonna reject? Hit the bricks Bud, hit them running, and don't stop until she's a tiny speck in the rear view mirror!! Peace, Vic

Thanks for all the support everyone, it really helps. Like I said before, coming here is like my "group therapy", where else can I find others who have these issues of needing to bond, or be nurtured than here? Now comes the task of allowing myself to be nurtured, and to actually bond with Shelley. I know this will not be an easy thing to do, but we're ready to start the process when she is better (she has been in the hospital for the past nine days with pnemonia, but she's coming home tomorrow). The thing I have to be aware of and try not to do is to not reject her in any way (I've been guilty of the defense mechanism of "I'll reject you before you can reject me"). I also need to be open and available, something that I don't know how to do, or if I can do it. Only time will tell if we can reach these goals, but I am determined to try. So thank you all agin for your support. Peace, Vic

As the others have said "welcome back". I hope things continue to improve for you! Peace, Vic

Sorry to hear of your situation my man, but you are in a pickle here. I've had a few relationships, and I explained my diaper side to each of my partners, and they all said it was okay, but then after awhile they changed their minds. So (unwisely) I would stay in the relationship, but in the end I had to leave, because it just wasn't working out. You'll have to figure this one out on your own, but in MHO you're better off with someone who can fully accept you as you are. There are lots of girls who think to themselves "I can change him into what I want him to be", and alas, it rarely works that way. Then you're always fighting and arguing and you're left with a messy break up where both parties get their feelings hurt. All I can say is that you're gonna have to figure this thing out for yourself and decide what is the best course of action for you to take. Good luck with that. Peace, Vic

Hey Curiosity, I have to tell you that for the last few years I've only been drinking 2 to 3 times a week, so there is no problem with withdrawl or DT's. Unlike the many friends I've had who have passed away I've always been able to stop using (I'm pretty sure that's why I'm still alive). The problem has been that I've used it as a coping mechanism, when I had emotions that were hard to deal with I'd just stuff them down, and the next time I drank or smoked weed forget them. I also have a problem with isolating myself from others, being close to someone has been almost impossible for me to be, and I avoid going out in public unless I have to. I spent most of my infancy being left in the hospital by my Mom, (I was very sick due to her being on speed while she carried me in her womb) I felt rejected by her, and I in turn rejected her. That left only my Father to bond with, but he was about the most distant Dad you could have had. Add to that all the abuse and fighting I learned to keep to myself as much as possible. These are things that I have had to go through hell to discover in myself, and now that I know them I'm working on doing what I have to do to bond with Shelley and Buzz, which is very difficult for me to do. Every relationship I've been in I have started out just fine, but over time became more and more distant from my partners. The closer they got to me the further I withdrew into myself. It must have been very hard on them to be living in the same house as me, but I didn't know any other way to be. The reason that I've cleaned up is that I need to actually make progress in my life. If I kept on drinking and smoking weed then it just allowed me to not go through the feelings that I need to feel, in order to deal with my problems I need to face them, and not isolate myself from life. I have to get real, or otherwise seeing my therapist doesn't mean anything other than a place I go to to whine about life once a week. If you're not really trying to make a change then all you're doing is bitching, and all the bitching in the world never changed anything. It's not the whiners but the doer's who change the way things are. It's taken me years to be able to see why things are the way that they are, now that I see the problem clearly it is up to me to change it. I know that it's gonna be hard, but I'll just have to deal with it. Peace, Vic

Okay.....GO TO YOUR ROOM!!! (the roleplay room to be exact) I kill myself! Peace, Vic

No, I look ridiculas. Peace, Vic

Thanks for the advice Square Duck, I have a hard time finding a group with the kinds of problems I have though. Besides growing up in a war zone, my mother was on speed the whole time she was pregnant with me. That's where I think the manic depression comes from, I think I have a chemical imbalance. I've done the "macho man" thing before though and just tried to tough it out and figure it out on my own, but that didn't work so well. Then I went into the "self medicating" cycle, but that really got out of hand. It became an everyday kind of thing, and I had to finally call a halt to that where I totally stopped everything for ten years. I didn't seek help though, and life became a black hole that I just kind of trudged through day by day. One day I just said to myself, "if this is life I might as well get high", and I went back to self medicating, but I exercised moderation. I was still trying to do it all by myself, but the self medicating part ran me on the wrong side of the law. Once I'd cleared up my legal woes I decided to stick to drink a couple of times a week, and the occasional joint, but I also sought out help. I was diagnosed with a few mental health problems and started receiving real medications for the issues I have. That helped me out a bit, but it still left me with problems that I knew I could not overcome with medication alone, so I started doing therapy. The therapy has helped, but it's been a couple of years now, and I'm still not where I'd like to be. That's why I decided to stop with the self medicating, the meds I get from the VA will have to do, because I strongly feel that the drink and smoke are holding me back from being where I want to be. I'd like to find a group where I could talk with others such as myself, but people with the problems I have usually don't live that long, or so I've been told, and I'm kind of a rare duck. Just the lifestyle I lived while self medicating every day is hazardous to ones health, I.E.: all the friends I had back then, but one, are dead, and so are two of my brothers. I honestly don't know how Royce and I survived all of that, but we did. I like to think of coming to these boards as my group therapy, I mostly keep to myself these days, but I do like to come here and visit or read what others have to say. Thank all of you who are here for the friendship that I do experience while I'm here. Peace, Vic

I'm glad that I don't have that kind of problem, like Squre Duck I've lost most childhood memories, and those I have are bad enough without a brutal murder and rape added to them. Most of what I remember are the fights my parents had, and the fighting my brothers and I did. Even as I grew older I had fights and conflict in my life, seems like I couldn't get away from it. The last fight I had was five years ago, but even to this day I am tense most of the time, like I'm waiting for something to happen. I can't even get away from it in sleep, because I'm always fighting in my dreams. I've hit Shelley while dreaming to the point that we have to put up a barrier of pillows between us as we sleep. My dreams of fighting wake me up several times every night, with feelings of frustration and unease. It's like I'm caught in a war zone, I've been diagnosed with ptsd from the home I grew up in. I have been seeing a therapist though, and hope to one day find some peace. I hope you will find peace as well, it's hard when you have a past that haunts you. Peace, Vic

I've finally had enough, I've been seeing a therapist for the last two years, but I haven't felt like I've made the progress I should have. Trouble is that I let myself drink two or three times a week, and every now and then I'll smoke some weed, usually two or three times a month with friends, but sometimes I go ahead and buy some and then I'll smoke for two or three days till it's gone. I know some of you think, "so what's the problem?", but the thing is that I've been allowing myself to escape really trying to deal with my emotions, and make some personal progress. By allowing this escapeism I've been able to numb myself out from actually dealing with personal issues, and honestly, that is counter productive for the therapy I am doing. So I've had to look at myself in the mirror and admit that I've been letting myself run away from things that I should finally deal with, and get over them at last. You don't really deal with things when you know your next high is just around the corner, you just stuff it down and look forward to the next beer or joint, and that is really just trying to run away from yourself, which is impossible. It's been about a week and a half since my last beer, and I flushed what was left of the weed a week ago, and I think I'm getting into the mindset that I need to be in to actually put in the work I need to do in order to move forward in my life. I'm tired of the same old same, I feel like my life has been stagnant for some time, and I'm looking forward to something different. Besides that, think of the money I'll save. Peace, Vic

Another of my childhood icons has passed away, I don't know how many of you will remember him. He had his dog Whitefang, reported to be the meanest dog in the world, who was always happy to slap a pie into Soupy's face. Soupy was different than a lot of kids shows back then, I always thought he was much funnier and more fun to watch than any other kids show . Like I said, I don't know how many of you will remember him, but he was one of my favorites, the other shows that I watched were Astro Boy, Giagantor, and the amazing three. Soupy was the only real person though, the rest were (of course) cartoons, but none of you younger guys would know any of them . Peace, Vic

Mmmmmmmmm, I love the smell of napalm in the morning......Smells like diapers. Peace, Vic

Even though I have to wear diapers every night, I often dream about being in diapers, but a lot of the time I fight in my dreams. This has been bad for my SO as I've punched her in the face more than once, whether it was a diaper dream or not. We've come to a solution to this problem by placing several pillows between her and me in the bed, so when I start to strike out at attackers she is able to wake me before I hit her again. It seems that I fight whether I'm in diapers or not in my dreams, rather odd if you ask me. Peace, Vic

I mix mine with 94% amonium nitrate then add 6% diesel fuel then light a match and watch them go off like the 4th of July. Peace, Vic

How very cool for you, it's nice when our SO is tolerant of our AB/DL side. You are lucky in that you have someone who understands, and is actually willing to participate. Peace, Vic

Myself, insane. Peace, Vic