canuckistan.who

@babykuri - For a very long time, I wanted to be a parent. I helped with many younger people in my life, and I still hope to take other young people on my life on fun adventures. I've learned though that you don't have to be a parent to be a role model or to help young people. I think that's the balance I've found.

I've been away from the community for over two years. I'm guessing a lot has changed in that time, so I was hoping to get some advice. What are the best diapers (not pull ups) for _discreet_ day wear? That is, that are quiet and subtle, but good enough to not worry about leaks? Plain white, ideally. Thanks!

heh, so part of me felt bad about my husband leaving me, and I mostly felt relief. I liked my life with him, but the constant stress of knowing he wanted sex was ... oppressive. When he left me, a part of me was really relieved knowing I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore. So to that extent, I hear you, I'd say I'm "meh-romantic"... I'd like to have someone in my life, but as a diaper-wearing, fiercely independent woman, I've more or less settles into the idea that I'm going to be single, probably for life. And that's OK, I've been learning to really enjoy life on my terms, ya know? Thanks for replying, cute_kitten. It's really nice to not feel like the only person who feels a certain way.

Nice to meet you!

I love how much more information is out there these days. I couldn't imagine how much easier things would have been had I learned about ace in my early 20s. Very happy that you figured yourself out! And fwiw, I think that ya, demi is on the spectrum.

Nice to meet you!! I've found the ace community is very, very female dominated. So it's nice to see guy representing. Have you any insight or thoughts on how the diaper side of things might influence or be influenced by being ace?

As the years go on, I learn more and more about myself. The more recent realization, in the last couple of years, is that I am ace (asexual). This was no small part of why my marriage fell apart, and the biggest reason I've never tried to meet anyone new (I'm romantic, just asexual, a frustrating combination I must admit). I've not been able to figure out yet if whatever makes me like to wear diapers ties into this, or if they're totally separate issues. I was curious if there are other aces here, and if so, how you find the two sides coexist in you.

Hello, Has anyone tried the Rearz Omutsu cloth diapers? I love their Inspires, but I really don't like making so much garbage. So I've been strongly leaning towards cloth instead. I've got zero experience with cloth though, so I'm not sure what's good, what isn't or what to look for. https://rearz.ca/omutsu-bulky-nighttime-cloth-diaper/ I'm planning to use these for the covers; https://rearz.ca/waterproof-flannel-pant-diaper-cover/ Thanks for any insight!

I'll look into stress incontinence, thank you. Also, everything I've read was that wearing takes a super long time before accidents happen, and I don't wear nearly enough. So I assumed it was unrelated, but I wanted to get input from others here who are actually incontinent, and see if what I've experienced sounded familiar at all. It this is nothing to be worried about, great. If it's how bigger problems start, then I'd like to get ahead of it. Thanks again. c.

Hi all, So in my ever on-again, off-again relationship with diapers, I've gone through the usual "I want to be 24/7!" to "I don't want to wear at all..." and everywhere in between. A while back, I decided it was time to understand what this really meant to me, so finding myself living alone and mostly working from home, I decided to go 24/7 and see how long it lasted. I wasn't pushing myself, but I wasn't denying myself, either. The goal was just to see what, finally, I really wanted out of this. For context, when I wear, I have a rule that if I am wearing, I don't hold at all. So it's days to weeks at a time of constant "leaking". A few years ago, I had a small accident at work (not wearing). I felt no urge, I just noticed that I had started to wet and caught myself and stopped, but I had already left a damp spot on my pants. I was at work and left work early. That was the one and only accident for a while. Earlier this year, when I was going 24/7 for a while, I started noticing that when I took a bath, I had to pay unusual attention to not let go. This kind of worried me, as it had only been a few weeks and everything I read was that it took months to years for changes to happen. So I stopped my 24/7 as it scared me enough that I had a long hard think and decided I wouldn't enjoy actually needing diapers. A couple months ago, not having worn for some time, I was out one evening and again, without any feeling of urge, caught myself having another accident. As before, it was small and thankfully I was wearing a black skirt, so I doubt anyone noticed. After a few months without wearing, I started again last week, not even full time mind you, and I had another small accident yesterday. So with that background, I wanted to ask others (particularly other women), does this sound familiar? Are these just random events not to worry about, or does this sound like the start of larger issues? I know I could go talk to my doctor, but I'm not keen on explaining the diaper wearing as I can only guess how that will go, and would likely be blamed as the cause regardless. I live a pretty active lifestyle and I decidedly don't want to actually need diapers. On the other hand, I don't want to be scared off of wearing for fear that it will make accidents more common. Any advice/comments/anecdotes would be much appreciated. c.

Thanks, Spark!!

Thanks! Do you have personal experience with this? I imagine you might be right, but I'm hoping to get feedback from people who might have some personal experience with this.

Hi all, So a while back, I thought I wanted 24/7. I even started a thread here about it, but I also left the door open at the time to bail out. I was mostly trying to figure out what role I wanted diapers to play in my life. So about a month in, I realized I didn't want to actually lose control, so I stopped and spent a fair bit of time trying to figure things out. What I finally realized is that I wanted to be diaper-trained... That is, if I am wearing, I want to be able to let go (#1 only) without having to think about it. So I made a point to wear during the day and just "let go" as much as I could, never pushing, never holding back. That has mostly worked and during the day, using the diaper is almost unconscious, but when I am not wearing, I'm fine. Now I want to reach the same point at night, but I also don't want to become a bedwetter (for real). Like, I don't mind waking up when I feel like I need to go, but I want to get to a point where I can just "let go" without thinking, like I can during the day. Of course, doing this at night is a lot trickier. So I wanted to ask you ladies and gents; Have you had any luck diaper-training at night? Did it every lead to any actual night accidents? If it did, were you able to get control back by backing off diapers for a while or something? Basically; Any advice for night diaper training without risking accidents when not diapered? Thanks! c.

I went long enough to realize I didn't want to be 24/7. Two things did it in; 1. The thought of visiting family while diapered was just a non-starter. 2. The idea of needing to deal with barrier cream and stuff took the fun out of it.I consider it a success in so far as I know better now what I want and don't want, which is no small thing.

Hi, It didn't work out. I got to a point where I sort of freaked out and stopped. I know now that I don't want to be 24/7, and I'm enjoying just wearing when the mood strikes and not when I am not.

I normally use the Molis (thinner for the day, thicker ones at night), and they work perfectly, but I really didn't like how clinical they looked. When they switched the heavier ones from light purple to robin-egg blue, I really didn't like how they looked. So I decided to start looking for a new option, ideally in plain white with no wetness indicator. I decided to get one bag each of the Inspire original and Incontrol+ (partly to see the difference). OMG. OMG they are amazing. I don't know how I could ever go back to anything else for night time. No worries at all about night time (I'm a side-sleeper, no issues). They are super comfy and are plain white, nothing on them at all. During the day, if you need any discretion at all, these won't work because they are super thick and crinkly. If there was a complaint, that would be it, but even that is meh because they don't even pretend to be discreet. I can't recommend them enough. Well done, Rearz!

Thought I'd post an update... It's been a week now, the point where I usually abandoned these full time attempts. Sure enough, I nearly did again... It wasn't anything about being tired or whatever, but after a week, the idea of "what about when I visit family? go on business trips?" The breeds the self-doubt and what generally makes me stop. A couple days ago, that started to really weigh heavy on me. In the evening, I even said "why am I bothering? I never stick with it. I may as well stop". Something odd though, this time. I gave myself permission to stop and I didn't. I started thinking "you're a week in. How will you know if you don't stick it out, at least a little longer?". And, so, I didn't give up. A little background; I've work off and on for a long time, and I'm easily able to "let go" in just about any position, around people, laying down, driving, etc. I'm not sure how that will effect how things progress, but it does mean that for this last week, I've not felt any urgency. As soon as I feel *anything*, I let it go. I've been paying attention to not holding back, even for a minute. This morning, the case I ordered arrived. That was another little "uh oh" moment, oddly enough. Then I took a bath and found that, after even just a week, I could notice pressure building very quickly. Obviously, I had no problem not going, but it was the first, albeit minor, thing I've noticed. So this got me worried too, "do I really want to do this?". I aired out for a while, but now I'm back in diapers... I guess I'll see how long I stick it out. I'm aiming now for "two weeks", which will be a new record for me. I'm sure I still won't see any changes. c.

hehe. Ya, I get that totally. I really debated posting because I know I've stopped after a little while every time before. I just really want to finally answer this one way or the other, and it seems like now is the time to do it. I'm going to try and push myself this time, something I hadn't done before. I am hoping for a minimum of one month. I think the longest before was one week or so. I guess we'll see.

Hi all,

On the Internet, no one knows you're a dog.

Was it from that video where they showed how you could flip a sphere inside out without causing any folds?

I just got some ATNs, along with the night molicare and abena M4. No question that the m4 are the aces, and the purple molicare are great. The ATNs aren't in the same league, BUT, they are excellent for the money. In Canada, the ATNs are ~$1.25/each (case), the purple molis are ~$1.5 and the m4 are ~$2. Given that price spread, if you goal is "not leaking", the ATNs are hard to ignore.

That's a pretty terrible situation for them. It is important that we don't project ourselves into their situation. For most people, being forced to diapers is a very negative experience.

I call myself a sysadmin who can program, but in truth, programming in 85% of my work these days. 10% of what is left goes towards business/management stuff now. "Programming" as a field is massively vague. You can do web development, networking, systems, driver/hardware dev, etc. So my first bit of advice would be to try and play with different aspects of programming and see what strikes your fancy.

*waves* Depending on the day, I float between straight, "not interested" and heteroflexible (if that makes any sense).