Kanji

Was there a rollback as well my story is missing.

Not that I'm not overjoyed by the idea that a forum I haven't visited for about four years is suddenly appearing in my email when people have a problem. But I feel that perhaps I shouldn't be receiving these emails altogether when I am in fact not a moderator nor would I ever really want to be. In point of fact this is the first time I've logged on since 2009, this site is nothing but a faint memory of quickly degrading intellect via people asking 'wat diapurz shud i bi lolololol' and from my tertiary glance at the goings on around here I can see that not much has changed. Therefore I request that whatever has broken be fixed by the glorious leaders of this site so I can go back to my life of being a sedentary elitist and altogether troll of various forums. Sincerely, Some Old Bitch

I'm Kanji, and thats all you need to know.

I actually talked with a Druid once, he was pretty cool. Smart guy really.

I'm only here to reaffirm that I'm the forum jerk.

Gym Class Heroes - Cupids Chokehold

Happy Chanukah!

I disagree completely, the second anyone accepts a min wage job their free will and independant thought is stripped away so that they can hold the job without getting fired. Cause we all know the only ones who advance in min wage jobs are the mindless suck ups who are willing to kiss ass to everyone in authority. Personally I found the story more funny than frustrating.

Ah McDonalds, the pinnacle of societies advancement in the information age. Rock on criminal dude, rock on. Seriously, this shows how nitwitted minimum wage workers really are. I'm actually glad she's suing though I would have gotten the criminal dude as well.

I'm pretty sure that thousands of theater goers would be hard pressed to call it Bah bumhug... Including me who prefers the literary quality of the play so much that I must stick to the script: *Goes to watch a Muppet Christmas Carol.*

Past: Phantasy Star Universe Present: Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess Future: I don't know... Does the Burning Crusade Expansion count?

Bah humbug.

Oh come on, alcohol is fun, especially in mass quantities. Damn the consequences.

Chapter 4: Training The outside of the Mansion was as grand as the inside, large trees along the fence line obscuring the city skyline slightly. It was a house tucked into the mountains around New York, a sanctuary from the rigors of city life. Paths from the large double doors in front of the mansion two paths circled around the house meandering through lush gardens. Fortunately the back of house was just as lush in plant life as the sides and front, both paths leading down into a small valley of Greek inspired sculptures paved with deep red brick. In the morning shadows the remnants of rain lingered, resisting their inevitable evaporation. As well under the leaves of the undisturbed oak trees droplets of water sparkled in the sunlight refusing to let go of their perch. Kiara stretched out, throwing her arms up in the air and taking a deep breath as she took the last step into the sunken courtyard, turning back to Derek and smiling. It seemed that she had visibly calmed down a bit since coming to the mansion; she certainly wasn’t as plagued with self doubt knowing that the answers would come easy so long as she stayed in Derek’s service. “This will be a good place.” Derek made his way down the last step. “Good place for what?” “Why to start you off as my apprentice of course.” Derek explained. “I thought I already was.” Kiara frowned. “Well technically yes, you are my apprentice, but at the same time you’re not ready exactly to be my apprentice. You see you know nothing of magic other than what I’ve shown you, so you’ll of course require a bit of training.” Kiara couldn’t help but smirk at the thought. “Great I’ve become a Jedi, where’s my light saber?” Derek laughed. “Trust me young Miss Smith, you will not even need it once you are full and ready to become my apprentice.” “Alright!” Kiara exclaimed moving to the middle of the courtyard. “Get with the fireball making already.” “Hold on, it would be best to explain exactly what Magic is before we go and try to make anything at all.” Derek approached the center of the court. “Remember when I picked up that leaf and brought life back to it?” He motioned to all the trees around him for example, at his beckon the wind seemed to pick up causing the wind and trees to sway in a gentle dance and the leaves to rustle enthusiastically. As he put his hand down atop his other supporting his cane he the wind died down again. “All your pre-concieved notions about magic, what you’ve seen in movies, what you’ve read in books, do not even begin to amount to the dedication needed to understand what magic truly is. In short even wizards have trouble fully understanding what it is other than that it’s a force that makes the world what it is today.” Derek went on stoically. “The way we usually manipulate it is not by creating something out of thin air, or even bending the rules of something that already exists. It is possible to do it that way, but it usually leaves us strained, and could possibly kill us if we were to use it in excess.” “So… No fireballs?” Kiara pouted. “Well, no fireballs without an extremely compelling reason.” Derek laughed. “Anyway back to the leaf. How do you think I did that? How was it that I brought life back to something that had been dead for a long while?” Her first inclination was to say magic had done it, but that wasn’t an explanation at all. It forced her to think and make up some kind of theory. “Did you infuse the leaf with your own life? Make it part of you?” “Not quite, that would have made the leaf part of me as well, and I would have gagged and probably choked not needing air anymore.” Derek mused. “No, the way I did it is knowing that everything has a memory, the air has memory of being wind, the water memory of being rain and so on and so forth. That leaf that I picked up was once a living leaf attached to a tree, I just stimulated that very memory and made it emulate it.” “That’s…” Kiara stood there for a moment. “Amazing?” “Weird. So the most common way of using magic is emulating a memory that something has? Wouldn’t that limit its uses?” Derek nodded. “Fortunately enough Miss Smith, there is enough memory in everything around us for us to use magic in various every day situations. The only real limit on what we can do, is right here.” He tapped his forehead. “Thanks Elmo, with a little imagination anything is possible...” Kiara grumbled. “So where does that leave me? What do I have to do to activate this power?” “Simple enough.” Derek said moving slowly to one of the staircases and sitting down. “It’s a bit dark in this area, however air is always moving, and always reflecting light. I want you to entice those memories Kiara, make them light up for you.” Kiara grumbled again. “You didn’t answer my question! How!?” Derek just smiled. “You told me all the things that happened to you when we first met, weird books, shocking people, and waking up in weird places. Tell me Miss Smith? Had you been to the places you woke up in before? Have you ever been able to explain when you shocked someone? Did you ever wonder what books the previous owner of your bookcase read?” Kiara thought for a moment, all the questions could be answered simply. “Yes, but what does that have to do with anything old man?” “Usually when I find new apprentices they usually do things that involve their own body, like you they would inexplicably shock people, or wake up in weird places. Your own bodies memory puts you back in that place as your subconscious grips on to a memory. However in your case you also caused that bookcase to remember titles it had held in the past, it was most likely an illusion in that case, but still rather potent.” Derek mused. “Derek! Tell me how the hell to do this!” Kiara was ready to smack him upside the head. “You already know how, its all connected to thought, you expend your energy into a thought. That opens you up to be able to communicate through your mind to the desired entity, and you conscript it to do what you want.” Derek tapped his can once and the shadowed court lit up for a brief moment before settling back down into the cool darkness. “Of course, you need be careful with how you communicate; air in particular is very excitable. Much like a wild horse it enjoys running about.” Kiara pinched the bridge of her nose and turned away from Derek. “Fine… You’re making no sense, but then again, what does these days?” She stood awkwardly for a long time trying to expend energy into the thought of making the air reflect light, unsure of just how it all was supposed to work. Of course, it didn’t help that her mentor was so cryptic about it; he didn’t instruct her on how she was supposed to expend that energy into thought. As far as Kiara could tell, thought was a universal constant; even in sleep the brain was working without the need of energy to sustain it. It was making her just a bit angry that she wasn’t able to do what she wanted. As time slowly passed her emotion led her into darker places, until finally she was clenching her fists and gritting her teeth. “Argh!” Kiara threw her arms up. “Stupid air! What the hell do I need to do to make you talk to me! Its been nearly an hour!” Whee! She makes us move! Yes she does, maybe she’ll wave her long things around more… Hey flame head! Make your long things wave so we can move more, whee! Kiara heard the voice clearly from all around her and dropped her arms, casting her gaze from side to side. Hearing voices wasn’t exactly a good sign. “Um… Flame head?” “Cute name… They’re very mischievous… Keep talking Miss Smith.” Derek couldn’t help but chuckle. Flame head, with a head like fire! Look at the color, so bright. We can make it move, want us to make it move like fire? “No… Actually I want to ask something else. Its kind of dark here, think you could brighten things up?” Kiara asked. Derek stood up suddenly. “No wait!” Bright bright! Like the sun! We’ll shimmer for Flame Head! As they said that the area started to brighten up exponentially, at first it was pretty, matching the daylight that drenched the other areas of the yard. However they quickly started brightening more, actually shimmering with heat. Kiara had to throw her hands over her eyes as she felt her skin start to heat up as the air excitedly did what she requested. Derek was having a hard time focusing as he himself talked to the air, begging them to disregard his apprentice’s words. After moments of negotiation he was able to make them settle down, the courtyard slowly settling back to shadows, remnants of heat still stuck to their skin. For a long while they stood in silence, Kiara awkwardly pulling at the hem of her shirt afraid to turn back to her mentor. Derek’s hand found its way to her shoulder. “They are very excitable… All elements are really, they like to please us for one reason or another. But they can go to far really fast, so we have to be very careful what we say.” “I didn’t know.” Kiara said as she turned sullenly back to him. “No harm done Kiara, don’t worry when I cast my first spell I nearly tore the house down with an earthquake. I’m certainly glad that you did better than I did at preserving the mansion.” He smiled reassuringly. “On the bright side, no pun intended, you did almost create your fireball.” Kiara rubbed her hands together. “And I will succeed one day.” “Not today however, we will resume training later. For now I’ve got some work for you to do, so we’ll be off to the library to get you some books to study up on. While you are reading I’ve got some rather important business to take care of.” Derek explained as they made their way out of the courtyard. “Phedra? Who is she by the way?” Kiara asked. “Yes her… She’s a benevolent fairy who oversees the acquisition of human bicuspids for study. Quite the scientist actually, her research on humans has advanced modern medical technology quite a bit.” He sighed. “Pity she had to call us in to keep her research secret though, had a leak of information quite a while back that we had to cover up for.” “No shit…” Kiara whistled. “The tooth fairy!?” Derek laughed. “Indeed.

Chapter 6 Darkness from the temperate outside breathed into the still, sterile darkness inside as the door let out its characteristic squeak. Andrea had never stayed out as late as she just had, which wasn’t surprising considering she had never really had that many friends to begin with. While silent and often distant, Elle provided something for Andrea that no one had ever provided before. It was the unconditional friendship that had strengthened their bond so quickly. She was sure that others in her group were going to provide something close to the same experience, though none would ever hold such a dear place in her heart as Elle did. Stepping on the back of her shoes and slipping her feet out of them, Andrea silently knelt down and picked up the sneakers walking in just her socks to her room. It was too late for her to do anything but disrobe and climb into bed. She didn’t even bother to think about the daym she was far too tired. Instead she opted to close her eyes and slowly drift into a deep sleep. It wasn’t long before she let her conscious sail away toward the horizon, faintly hoping that it would return in the morning. At first it was raining in her living room in the middle of the street, the chilling water running down the nape of her neck and other various curves on her body. Her gaze was on her body, the Venus that she was meant to be greeted her. It was a pity that she was going to die in the cold rain though. She looked up to greet the cold tears of the sky she saw that they were instead pine needles crashing down into her skin. Turning away quickly she ran out of the living room and down the buckled broken street, filled with cracked porcelain and various other random items. “Stop cheating.” Andrea turned to see him standing there, a young blonde boy wiping his nose on the verge of tears. She knew him, but at the same time disavowed his existence entirely. “Edward.” “No son of mine.” From behind the boy a man appeared, a strong man who could easily be seen as an Adonis. “Edward.” “He’s no son of mine either.” Andrea found herself saying turning away from her self. “He’s NO ONE! ONE WON WOM WOM WOM WOM WOM!” Andrea jolted out of sleep, hands pushing through her blonde locks as she gazed wide eye at her bed sheets, cold sweat running down the nape of her neck and arms. Deftly turning off her alarm clock before it caused her more earsplitting pain, Andrea sat in her bed for a moment before lulling herself back into fragile self security. As always after her one burst of deftness she fell back into the drowsiness, throwing off her covers and grumbling as she stumbled into the bathroom to wash away her tiredness. As she showered she was plagued with trying to remember what she had dreamed, haunted by something she couldn’t even recall. However she could not hold onto it long as she began to melt back into conscious thought in the warm water. Finally she emerged, invigorated from her shower ready to face another rough and tumble day at school. Of course, her mom had already gone when she came back out of her room dressed and ready, off to deal with work and more legalities of having a divorce and a transgender daughter in a purely conservative community. While she would have enjoyed cooking breakfast, there was a certain time constraint that needed to be observed which was thankfully alleviated by having pop-tarts in the pantry. Andrea had always referred to the mass produced treats as ‘college food’ as they were cheap and easy to prepare. She had come up with a list of food that she would most likely be buying when she went to college. She was already dreading it. Of course her palette was a little more advanced than the average college students, by merit of learning how to cook. In fact, she was eagerly waiting for the summer when she could go back to Boise and possibly get a real job as a cook where she had interned last summer. Of course they would all be surprised; it wasn’t often that someone suddenly changed gender out of the blue. Despite her feelings and anxiety about the more than awkward situation, she would take it head on like she had resolved to do since the beginning. Her keys sang to her as she grabbed them out of her backpack and walked to her little red Honda. The drive to school was as short as ever, however she had to fight for a parking space and walk quite a distance to the halls that had housed her for a paltry amount of time. As she walked she began to think that someone was watching her, which was probably true. News had spread like wildfire whether Andrea had wanted it to or not. Without a second glance she noted that a few of her peers indeed were jeering in her general direction, whispering to each other, laughing, pointing. By the time she finally made it inside she was holding her head nursing a self inflicted headache from all the things she thought might have been said about her. Pushing her hair out of her eyes she looked up, standing still in the middle of a busy hallway, deciding where to go. Finally she decided that it would probably be a good idea to get some water before the headache progressed into something that would really ruin her day. The Cafeteria was all but empty, it usually offered breakfast to the students, but with most the student body living close to the school or having to get up as early as five in the morning anyhow most just prepared breakfast at home. The silence of the grand room was almost deafening as she walked across the linoleum floor, the soles of her sneakers clicking rhythmically. A few straggling students sat at empty tables lacquered with various books and papers in front of them, pouring over last minute studies as they glanced nervously at the clock. “Excuse me.” Andrea called to the cook as she walked up to the serving area. The plump woman turned with a surprised smile. “Oh hello dear, I’m sorry I was just starting up lunch early. Can I get something for you?” “Ah yes, I was wondering if I could get a bottle of water.” Andrea asked politely. “Yes you may, let me fetch one for you.” She scurried off behind a divider out of view. Andrea enjoyed the smells of the kitchen while she waited, her eyes glazing over as she looked at all the cookware, identifying its uses. Even if it was cooking for an army of students, Andrea still found the release from stress that came with it. She was beginning to nurse the thought of going behind the counter and chopping up some chives for the mashed potatoes that were being made when the plump lady returned with a bottle of water. Setting it on the counter she punched some numbers into the register. “Alright that will be a bank breaking fifty cents.” Subconsciously Andrea went for her back pocket when she realized that she wasn’t wearing pants to carry a wallet in anymore. Instead she reached into a side pocket of her backpack and pulled out her wallet retrieving the money and handing it to the lady. She got her water and left the cafeteria, unscrewing the plastic cap and drinking the supposedly fresh spring water. She didn’t like the idea of paying for water, but at the same time she wouldn’t be caught dead drinking from water fountains in any public place. She became lost in thought as she drank away the beginnings of a headache, half heartedly navigating the busy hallways until the bell sounded the hurried scramble of students to their first class. “Hey! Watch it!” A girls voice yelled out as Andrea was forced back a step. “Oh I’m sorry; I wasn’t watching where I was going.” It was Claire, without her posses she looked rather out of place, but she still had an air about her that said that she was better than everyone else. “You’re right, you are sorry and you weren’t watching where you were going. Maybe you should watch where you’re going, or are you convinced that you’re also blind?” “No I’m pretty sure it was that vile order that caused me temporary vision loss, what is it Ode De Landfill?” Andrea nearly avoided saying a scathing remark. Only nearly though. “Tch, you boys just don’t understand what I go through to make you happy; this is a top of the line pheromone boosting perfume.” She retorted. Andrea couldn’t help but smirk. “It isn’t working; I’m as turned off as ever.” “Yea, like I’d want some freaky cross dresser to follow me around anyway.” She waved Andrea off as she passed by. “Its alright, I wouldn’t want to follow around a shallow bitch anyhow.” Andrea muttered brushing herself off and avoiding the heated stares of onlookers. She wasn’t really in the best social position to be fighting back against the more popular caste in the school, still she wasn’t really one to roll over and die. As she finished brushing herself off the bell rang and the halls quickly emptied as the lemmings hurried in a pack to their various scholastic dooms. Hoisting her backpack, Andrea sighed and made her way to her own windowless homeroom ready to face another day of monotony. As she suspected all her classmates were in Les’s room when she entered, however the teacher himself was nowhere to be seen. It seemed he always showed up well after the bell rang. “Hey Andrea.” Faye looked up from her book as Andrea entered. Andrea smiled and took her seat. “Hey Faye, what’re you reading?” “The Three Musketeers, Mr. Alexander Dumas’s epic about D'Artagnan and his three comrades.” “Porthos, , Athos and Aramis.” Andrea recited. “Oh you’ve read it?” Faye asked canting her head to the side. “Admittedly no.” Andrea scratched the back of her head nervously. “When I was a child me and my mom would watch old movies, and I got to watch it.” “Oh I see.” Faye smiled. “It’s a very well done movie.” “I know. And I had a crush on Aramis…” Andrea admitted with a blush. Faye could only giggle pushing her dyed hair out of the way as the door opened and Les sauntered in with a book. He still wore a simple colored tee shirt and a pair of jeans; he seemed more like an older student than a Science teacher. He always had a laid back air about him, as though he didn’t really have much to get worked up about. Andrea supposed that’s why he was chosen to act as the homeroom teacher of the various outcasts of the community. “Good morning you youthful lot and exuberant lot, ready to face the day all bright eyed and bushy tailed.” He jested to the groggy room. “Sure, as long as the day consists of naptime after lunch.” Andrea smirked. “Seriously.” Damian piped in. “I miss preschool.” “You miss preschool, as I seem to recall you were the kid who always made the most noise when it came to naptime, you wouldn’t even stay on your cot.” Faye leaned back. “Hey! Damn it Faye! Why do you always got to be hating on me like that girl?!” Faye rolled her head back to look at him with a smile. “I’m sure that you’ll be able to understand why I find it necessary to tease you when you get older and wiser Lalo.” “It’s Damian!” He protested. “Slipped my mind.” Faye smirked. “Alright guys, enough banter, lets get to work.” Les instructed them to get out their books. Elle suddenly looked up from her daze to Andrea. “Oh hey Andrea! You left your beret at my house last night.”

Chapter 3 “Oh my head…” Kiara held her forehead as she got up, pushing one hand to block the suns rays from her eyes. “Stupid rain… Had to go away.” “I hear tale it comes again some other day.” Derek’s voice drifted gently through the air. The Wizard leaned against his cane in the doorway, stroking his salt and pepper beard in deep thought. Sitting up and letting the thick red comforter drape off her, Kiara stretched and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. She was wet, but she had done it purposely, she would have rather faced a wet diaper than the gut wrenching pain of spending a day in bed without relieving herself. The fifth day of rest had really helped a lot, she didn’t feel sick or worn at all; in fact she was ready to face whatever the day might throw in her direction. Without really thinking about it, she ran her hands through her red hair and threw aside her sheets, swinging her bare legs over the side of the bed. To her surprise her feet didn’t even touch the floor, Kiara wasn’t exactly tall, but she had never seen a bed that had been tall enough to have her feet dangle in the air. “Pity that, I rather enjoy the rains company. It has so much to talk about.” Derek chuckled. “If only you knew the extent of it.” “Ah right, the grand magical scheme. Spirits talking to us, huge fireballs and what not, raising the dead to do our bidding.” Kiara jumped off the bed pulling down her shirt so that the diaper didn’t completely show. “You do seem to talk about fire a lot Miss Smith, I’m starting to notice a bit of a pattern.” Derek stepped into the room, the metal tip of his cane clicking hollowly against the high ceiling. Kiara shrugged before pulling down her shirt again. “Yea well what can I say? I’m destructive.” “Well hopefully we can harness some of that destructive energy into something constructive today. You’re a gifted young woman Miss Smith, you’ve been given a gift, and I want to remind you that we are here to use that gift for the protection of the various magical energies that inhabit the world.” Derek finally sat down on the ledge of the window, both hands resting on his cane. “Today we begin you’re training young lady. I’m telling you now, it will not be easy.” “Feh… Yes father.” Kiara mocked. “Now if you wouldn’t mind, I’d like to get a shower before I go get all sweaty from training. Something about spending five days in diapers annoys me just a little.” “Very well.” Derek nodded. “There’s a bathroom just down the hall. Also, in the cabinets of this room you’ll find some clothing that I believe will fit your particular style.” “What are they magic cabinets that read my mind or something?” “No, I went out and purchased some clothing for you yesterday. I hope you don’t mind that I gathered your size from your old clothing.” Derek said frankly. Kiara actually blushed, she could have easily pawned off what she had said as a joke, but somehow she had meant it. The fact that the old man had gone to the trouble of making sure she had clothing also made her feel just a bit childish. “Erm… No I don’t mind Derek… Just ah… Don’t let me catch you in my clothing again you pervert.” She regained composure. Derek chuckled again pushing himself up. “When you’re ready, come down to the dining room.” Kiara nodded and took a towel that had been placed on the bedside table, waltzing out into the dim hallway of the mansion. Unlike her room which was designed for comfort, the hallways had a foreboding air about them. Deep green carpets lined the floor with identical oak doors lining the walls. In places the royal blue wallpaper had begun to peel, though it could only be seen by the ornate lamps that protruded out of the walls like sickly vines. More and more Kiara liked the mansion for its tendency to inspire morbid thoughts. As she strolled she began to imagine all the murders of noble young lasses that could have taken place. Before she bumped into someone she had started to imagine a grand masked ball, and a blonde haired virgin being pinned against the wall by some black haired noble, afraid to scream, afraid to breathe. Of course, the bump jostled her back to reality and she stumbled back landing square on her bottom. Heat rose up in her body as she shot to her feet to stare her assailant in the eyes. “Hey! Watch where you’re going!” Kiara shoved the rusty blonde boy back a few steps. “Whoa now sheila, don’t be spewin’ now, I mean you weren’t quite watching your way now were you? Had me gob smacked really… No worries though sheila, it’s early an all.” He pushed back his wet hair, having apparently just come from the shower. “No need to take an ear bashing from some ankle biter in a nappy.” “Nappy… What? Look ‘Bloke’ I didn’t understand a word you just said. Speak English please, everyone else does.” Kiara pinched the bridge of her nose. “Americans right… Bloody great.” He sighed and rolled his eyes. “Look sheila… My name is Curt, you can’t just go around and yell at me when you were at fault too. As I said though, no worries, I’m not about to argue with a kid in a diaper.” Kiara opened and closed her mouth as if to say something but just pushed past him before turning. “I… I don’t wear these all the time!” Curt shrugged, working on the buttons of his shirt which apparently had only been buttoned half way. “Aint knocking it sheila.” She was about to say something else, but suddenly decided against it, lowering her brow as she stormed down the hallway. Kiara wished at the very least that her lovely and inspirational image of a Victorian murder scene hadn’t been ruined by some Australian idiot who was more content with buttoning up his shirt than watching where he was going. As she closed and locked the door to the bathroom however she let her diaper drop with a sickly plop to the floor before completely disrobing and running the tap of the bath. Throwing away the wet diaper, Kiara took a moment to lean against the counter and stare at her self in the mirror. “Magic huh… I didn’t know Australians had the capacity to do magic. Well of course I wouldn’t, I mean, I didn’t even know it existed till five days ago… Five days that I didn’t even get to experience.” She kept babbling like a enamored bird until steam began to obscure her image. Finally turning away from the foggy mirror, Kiara grudgingly stepped under the shower head and let the water caress her dirty skin. Five days of filth washed away from her, renewing her in the hot water as she began to preen. Without even realizing it, Kiara started to reach a state of euphoria, a mindless void of joy. She usually hated showers, much rather preferring to do something more constructive like listen to music. However after five days of laying still she was finding that the hot water was just a little more than therapeutic. Regretfully however, Kiara had to get out of the shower grabbing the towel she had brought with her and rigorously drying her hair before wrapping it tightly around her body. After a moment to brush her hair, she stepped back out into the hallway and made her way back into her room without any unexpected hindrances. “Now lets see what pink and frilly things the old man got me…” Kiara mused to herself as she pulled out one of the cabinet drawers. What greeted her was not pink and frilly however, but mostly black and gothic, stuff that she would normally wear. Most importantly her favorite clothing accessory ever greeted her, arm warmers, enough to last her a life time. For a moment Kiara considered just spending the rest of the day playing dress up when she remembered that she had to go down to the dining room. Lowering her brow she considered the clothes for a moment and chose what appealed to her most, a band tee shirt, black zipper pants, and a pair of purple arm warmers with meaningless buckles. After dressing, the red head emerged from her room and looked up and down the hall. “Great… He didn’t even tell me where the freaking dining room was. Where’s that damn Australian when I need him!?” “Curt?” A voice said from behind her. “Probably stuffing his face with breakfast, most of us think he’s got an empty stomach.” Kiara turned to a black haired girl with square framed glasses and auburn hair. “And who might you be?” “Its impolite to ask someone’s name before introducing yourself.” She walked past Kiara. “Where?! Nebraska? God, its two thousand five, you’d think that just maybe the human race had gotten past the idea that we can all be happy go lucky polite beings.” Kiara found herself walking in stride with the girl. “Oh you’re Netter’s Apprentice aren’t you? I had heard that you might be a little crass…” Kiara sighed. “I’m Kiara Smith.” “Penny.” “Great, now can you tell me where the dining room is? I’d like to get this day over with before the rest of you tell me off in one form or another.” Kiara sighed. “I’m heading there now. Just keep following me.” “Right then.” They walked in silence, emerging from the hallway to the grand entrance that she had teleported into on her first day. However it was currently bustling with maids’ running back and forth with various baskets and other implements of housework. As well the occasional non-uniformed person pushed by, most of which carried books or had an important air about them. Kiara was only slightly depressed by the activity; she had wished to enjoy the empty entryway when she wasn’t prone to vomiting. They descended and walked across the marbled floor themselves, pushing through wide double doors into a large sunlit room. It really wasn’t much of a dining room at the moment, the floor was all but empty, with one long table in the middle strewn with a buffet of food. There weren’t even any chairs or dishes to speak of, all the food was portable. Amidst the small crowd of people, Derek stood talking to man with thick rimmed glasses, every once in a while he would tap his cane against the floor. After grabbing an apple, Kiara made her way through the crowd and approached him. “Ah, and here she is!” Derek exclaimed as Kiara moved within listening distance. “Miss Smith this is my colleague Robert Thomas. Robert this is young Kiara Smith, my lovely new apprentice.” Robert chuckled and waved to Kiara. “Hello Kiara, I hear you made quite a mess of the entry hall.” “Just making my mark sir, I tend to do it to all places I suddenly teleport too. At least that’s the current trend.” Chuckling again the black haired man turned back to Derek. “Oh you were right; she’s quite the lively one.” “Yes, it seems the Council considered me fortunate enough to give me an Apprentice who can think for herself. I’ve seen quite a few apprentices who have to be taught to think before they can even start a cantrip.” “Hopefully I do not have to raise up an apprentice like that.” Robert nodded regretfully. “Ah you’ve still got quite some time Robert my friend. A good hundred years before you’ve even have to consider a replacement.” “Don’t get me wrong guys, but I think I was supposed to be getting to a lesson or something. I mean, I’d absolutely love to listen to you regale each other with stories all morning, but not really.” Kiara took a deliberate bite of her apple. “You’re right Kiara, sorry. I just get so worked up sometimes, Derek is always entertaining to talk to, you got a good master.” Robert smirked and turned to leave. Robert put a hand on his shoulder. “Oh, don’t forget Robert, tonight we’ve got to go talk to Phedra and her crew.” “Phedra… What is it this time?” “Not sure.” “We never are with her…” Robert sighed. “Alright, just call me when we’ve got to leave.” After Robert had left, Derek finally turned back to Kiara looking her up and down with an appreciative gaze. At first she wasn’t quite sure why he was looking at her that way, but finally Kiara figured that it must have been the clothing he had bought her. “Have much trouble getting around?” Derek asked finally. “No, I love having to ask for directions, I only got the opportunity because a certain geezer forgot to tell me where the dining room was.” “Ah very good then, perhaps I’ll conveniently forget to tell you where everywhere else in the mansion is, so I can give you the joy of asking for directions again. Or I could give you the tour.” Derek smirked. “I think I’d prefer the latter.” Kiara smirked as well. “Off we go then, try to keep up.” Kiara snorted. “Oh trust me; it’ll be like keeping up with a cripple.”

A day from darkest hell for InnerKids! Oh great another spouting moron... Well... Fuck... Guess I gotta reply to this one. As an InnerKid, I hate all things adult and see things through the eyes of the children. Well, I tend to hate all things kids, so its mutual I guess. Considering children are more of an economic crapshoot than of use since the Child Labor Laws were introduced at the end of the Industrial Age I would venture to say that you hate everything that is produced, such as, services, food, among other things. Twisting your words, yes. But no worse than the mass media feeds you. Sunday 30th July was the day the adults realised my fears, targeted children and murdered them in Qana, Lebanon. I believe it was actually a Monday for them. More in my next snippet. This was no mistake! The Israelis claim there were terrorists there. That doesn't wash! Their surveillance equipment can see THROUGH buildings and pinpoint identities from satellites, so they knew who was in the basement. Actually no, they couldn't identify who was in there, all they knew was that there was an influx of people in there. Sure its possible to identify that there are people in buildings through various means of infared and other forms of scanning. And sure satalites can identify a person. But not in conjunction, in order for a satalite to actually identify someone they have to be out in the open not under layers of cement. As well they were recieving broadcasts from the headquarters (And lets not kid ourselves, it was a headquarters at that point.) so they had a pretty good idea that it was coming from there. And guess what, civilians were killed. You know why? Because the terrorists were holding the civilians hostage, they're used to America and Isreal being paper tigers and being more prone to argue amongst ourselves than take any form of action. But things have changed, and their tatics aren't going to (And excuse me for stealing your word.) 'wash' anymore. It sucks that people die, but this is war, and as a famous and wise said: War is Hell. Get over it and stop crying. In WWII thousands upon thousands of innocent people were killed, and not just the Isrealies. The UK was bombed to the point that the goverment seperated all the children from their parents. If you were even suspected of housing Jewish people you were inducted into POW camps. But you're getting in a tizzy over civilians like this is the most incouragable act since the turn of the century. Its a paltry loss in comparison to other wars. The state-of-the-science Israeli weaponry is technologically incapable of missing the target by more than 2 metres so we know where they were aiming. This is true, and they did hit their target. Anyway, in 1976, 120 hostages were held by 7 terrorists at Entebbe airport. The Israelis sent in their crack troops and no terrorists survived and the only hostage casualties happened before the troops went in. 100 success then! They used this with success in the Gaza Strip and Golan Heights several times. Why then didn't they send these troops the mere 4 miles across the border into Qana and get the Hizbollah activists out without casualties? Because they didn't want to! Bull shit, the Isrealies have been sending their troops all over the place, the problem is that they're getting involved in ambushes along the way. Just recently one troop was nearly wiped out. So don't you dare fucking say that they're not sending in troups, because even the mass media is reporting that ground troops have been deployed. Someone in the military decided they wanted to win a war of terror by doing something so unspeakably, satanically evil it made the whole world, including Hizbollah, sick to the stomach. What they didn't come to dinner when called? Kicked a dog off a table? Had sex with a donkey? Painted a Pentagram in blood on the floor and danced naked to summon some kind of demon? I doubt that they did anything 'satanically evil.' And who the fuck are you to call Satanic worship evil. Just because they seperate themselves from god to the point of stupidly following the devil does not mean they're 'evil.' Evil and Good are just words to classify someones own justification of an action. So the whole world didn't become sick from their evil deeds, in fact I have been aplauding the Isreali march against terror, its high time that they struck back. This is what they did in the most evil act in our lifetimes. They bombed the fleeing civilians off the roads back into the village. Then they targeted the children and murdered them. Evil again eh? You know that word gets old real quick. And excuse me?! Need I remind you that for the past twenty years and more fluently in the past three or four, that Isreal has been the target of Suicide Bombers, and bombs in general around their civilian districts, thousands upon thousands of Isreali children have been killed. And what they targetted one small village with maybe lets say twenty children at least. Hmmm Twenty to Thousands, I just don't see the evil here. Lets theoretically say that they did target the children specifically, wouldn't it only be fair? An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth after all. This is not an anti-Israeli rant. If they hadn't done it the other side eventually would, or perhaps some other maniac sponsored or provoked by Bush, Blair or Iran. This is what happens when a moderate leader like Ehud Olmert puts weapons of mass destruction in the hands of maniac military oiks. Oh its not an Anti-Islamic rant? But rather a Anti-War rant... Fucking Christ. You'd think Bush would have finally give up with all the bitching the world does about him. Life is too cheap these days and it seems our beautiful new generation is fair game to anybody with a weapon. Many of us will have seen the images of 9-month-old Abbas Hashem, forever sleeping in the innocence of his nappy and teddybear shirt, dragged from the rubble. I cannot live with this because we are all guilty by association. I have not stained my hands... If you feel guilty then grab a gun and kill yourself. You're obviously straining to hold onto your grief. Just give up, honestly. Nobody in our rushed materialist society seems to care. You're right, I don't fucking care. I don't care about you, I don't care about Bush, or the War, or the Isrealites or anybody but me. Because its my mentality that being a social and forthwright humanity is what caused all these wars in the first place. Its always something, Women, Wealth, Territory, Paranoia. I'm going to live my life the way I want and if that makes you mad or angry then you can go fornicate yourself with a rusty fork because I am not going to sit here and take your psychotic idealism about how I should give a crap about some infant I don't even know because he died. If I see you trip on a curb or need a dollar for a soda then sure I'll help, but only because thats part of my perception of reality at the moment. I'm not evil, I care about the people around me, but only the people around me. I like having fun, and I like blowing off the stress that I face everyday by wrapping myself in a blanket and drinking heavily, smoking and having prolific sex with a twist of bondage, diapers and other kinks. Don't worry about me, I'll only be here for seventy more years or so before I kick off and somebody replaces me. Fuck you for being a busy body.

"So... What's become of me Ship?"

Feh... How did they see through my devious disguise.

*Ninja lurks.*

Lets see there was that one time I viseted hell and got bound up by the devil, or that one time I visited Nevada and lost all my clothes in a bet and ended up going on a wild adventure meeting three wierd people who ended up becoming like my family and we drove off into the sunset in a horribly cliche'd ending. Or there was that time when I dropped acid and took the wildest trip ever where I could taste purple and the sky was doing a dance for me. What the hell were you thinking?

Haven't been here in a while... Was thinking about writing a seething letter in General Forum to the whole community. What is Transgenderism? Well how do I best approach that question? I can tell you what it isn't, its not conforming to the gender that was printed on your birth certificate. Its not giving up to societies views just because there is a small struggle attatched. But what is it exactly? Well, for the most part I tend to think that it differs between people, as Transgenderism is a blanket term for anyone who identifies in any form or another with the opposite gender. Even being a sissy can be considered a form of Transgenderism. However me personally, I know that I was meant to be a woman just from the way I look at things, I was just jilted by genetics. So what can I do about it? Nothing really, I've decided not to get the surgery due to some influential friends in the community. I'd still take hormones, but surgery doesn't change who I am. I don't think its frame of mind, because objectively I could be seen as a boy because I have that tomboyish quality of being loud and having a more risque sense of humor as well as an independant streak a gazillion miles long. But once you dig deeper you find a girl who's just wearing that tomboy attitude to make sure that she doesn't get hurt, she wants true love and exists in color and emotion. Frame of mind? Nah... Fate? Nah... Why try to explain it? Just let it be.

1. Wash with something soft and fluffy, to be extra gentle, I suppose..? Novelty sponges? Yea or a rag, anything soft really would tickle the skin especially when it has soap lathered into it. Make sure not to warn the baby when you're going to wash anyplace that way you inspire the most reaction. Especially if she's not paying attention. 2. I've never had a vulva. How do I wash there? I'd hate to cause stinging or irritation. Well for the most part just don't be too rough with it, if its really all that hard for you just make it known that you are going to wash there that way she can facilitate her. (Voiding of course my previous comment.) 3. Rubber ducks. A cute shower curtain. Something for the wall? Other toys? Its not really the rubber ducks or shower curtains, just anything colorful and entertaining really. I think my favorite is the bath crayons that crayola offers, gives baby a chance to be colorful and entertained as well as creative. Depending on what she draws you can make assumptions as to what she's thinking and such. 4. Very nice adult hair products and body soap/lotion for most days, no-tears baby shampoo and some kind of regular soap for play days. Of course... Even though I'd use the no tears baby shampoo all the time anyway even if it wasn't play time. Make sure to get bubble bath too, thats always fun. 5. Any baby-made cream, powder, oil, or lotion to use after drying off? If not, what could I use? (Too sexy a step to skip.) Well... Hmmm, lotion of any kind would be a good idea, especially if its scented. You get to rub her down which keeps her skin healthy and vibrant while letting you touch and pamper her. I don't know why more couples don't get in on applying lotion on each other, its really quite a sensual process. 6. Do they make fluffy bath mats for putting inside the bath, so it's not so hard? Well, I don't think they make fluffy bath mats for inside the bath as that would warrent mold. The best you could get is something spongy or porous. Outside the bath however you could pick up something soft and fluffy to have her sit on. 7. Oh, obvious. Bubble bath, and a big tumbler for pouring water over her. Duh... Might want to try cold water in the tumbler some time. That'll cause her to cringe all cute like. 8. I shouldn't even start in on how to dry and style girl-hair. Good lord, how little I know beyond diapers. Well, its not really hard it comes more with time than anything else. All you've got to remember is that it takes about ten to twenty minutes to dry and comb out hair and style it. I would stick to pig tails or pony tails since there's not alot more thats very babyish style wise. 9. Something soft to kneel on beside the tub. Its possible, just look around a department store or hell, even a tool store like home depot should have a thing for kneeling. 10. Some music playing (at a safe distance) for her to sing along with. Nothing too babyish, after a while 'Ring around the posy' and 'Rock a bye baby' get boring. Try something you'd both like to listen too. Any band really is worth listening too at bath time... Personally I like things like The Dresden Dolls, Mathbox 20, or anything with a pretty tune. 11. A really nice, big white towel. Thats easy to find, any home supply store. Beach towels are out, they don't offer that soft fluffyness that terrycloth or egyptian do. 12. What am I missing that could make bathtime even more comfortable and fun? Well its possible to nurse a pacifier while in the bath, just make sure that its clean and stays in her mouth, if it drops then put it aside until you can wash it again. Also I'd suggest like a shaving mirror set low so she can watch herself since baby's tend to like making faces and such. Lastly I would guess making sure you have a big bath tub would be good since smaller ones tend to restrict movement. Thats about all I have...

I knew there was a reason they called it the Fire House...

I see theres been alot of fun at my expense... And Hah! You dare say a Butterfly can't do much against a fire engine? Well? You've obviously never encountered the true power of the fire engine.