momma.bear

my boyfriend/babyboy LOVES rugrats, & really strongly self-identified with tommy when we was around the age that his fetish was starting, so it probably has a pretty strong connection. i love the show as well, but i always liked suzie the best, haha.

i have made clothes for my boyfriend & an AB friend of his, & i love it. i've made a sissy dress, modded a couple overalls (into shortalls, & added snaps), & made a few onesies. paper patterns are definitely the right way to go, in terms of getting started.

tcc is right, especially this... yes, be honest with a girl during the beginning of the relationship; that's a good start. but the other thing to remember is to make sure that the needs of BOTH of you are being met, ya know? even if you find a woman who is fully supporting or even participatory, there may be times that you get home from work that she just wants vanilla sex, or maybe she worked all day too & she wants a little TLC, too. it's all about compromise.

i'm a bit south of effingham.

i read kathi's article a long time ago, & found it helpful as someone newly discovering the AB/DL scene as one perspective on what it meant to be an infantilist. however, i was deeply disconcerted by claims to a singular truth that seemed to have no logical proof. certainly, her perspective is valuable in its own right, but that does not make it a reputable source for a definitive claim about all members of the AB/DL community, nor even most of the community. that's my main reason for thinking it a very, very bad idea to post this article, or links to it, on the main DD site. surely as a forum, we offer just as valuable personal perspectives on what it means to be AB/DL as kathi. i also want to applaud bittergrey here, publicly, for his contributions to the AB/DL community. when my partner told me that he was an AB/DL for the first time, it was to bittergrey's website that he pointed me. i spent hours on it; i devoured every article. i feel like i can say with confidence that he has taken great pains to fairly & accurately represent a community as wonderfully diverse as our's. if i were to offer a suggestion for helpful websites for the family or friends of AB/DLs, it would be http://understanding.infantilism.org/.

are you the liljennie that runs the munches in indiana?

i want to add a fourth type of girl to honu's list - those like me who had no idea about ABDL before their boyfriends told them, & then they ended up both actively participating in & very much enjoying it. it does happen! i am living proof! that said, i think the reason i was able to fully accept my boyfriend's fetish when he told, & then experiment with it later, is because there was already a strong level of trust & love between us. even if i had fallen into the category of girls who didn't understand it, i always would have supported him because we loved each other. you can't really say how long it takes to know that the love & trust between any two people will be strong & healthy; you just sort of have to feel it out. i warn you, though, not to keep it from her too long. if my boyfriend had kept it from me much longer, i would have been so angry at him for hiding something this major (& the lying/covering up it would have taken for him to hide it considering the progression of our relationship) that i don't think i would have reacted so positively.

that's a pretty cool idea! my boyfriend usually just uses pamper's size 7 as stuffers... he's a size 30-31 waist, so this might be perfect for him.

thank you, autieab! it's so frustrating when people throw that term around without knowing what it means.

if you looked at what i said, you would notice that i said i agree with you about big chains & corporations being broken up. most folks who lean towards the left feel really strongly about that. unfortunately, a lot of folks in the leadership of the two main political parties in this country have heavy investments in & get campaign funding from huge corporations... this is much more pronounced in the republican party. so while i am glad that you & some of your republican friends agree with us left leaning folks about monopolies, i think you may need to examine some of the leadership in your political party.

heh, sorry. i don't use capital letters on teh intrawebs. *shrug* my lack of capital letters on forums/instant messages has yet to have any effect on my scholarly or creative publications. actually, i agree. it would be much more efficient for local communities to take charge of healthcare. & yeah, of course monopolies should be broken up in order to increase competition - but be careful saying that or some of your republican friends might think you're a dirty liberal! i mean, really - breaking up monopolies? how progressive of you! i agree that it's being rushed. politicians sneak things into bills all the time. & i encourage you to write to and call your senators and representatives to encourage them to carefully read the bill before they make a decision. however, the hurry is that a lot of hard working americans and their children are currently without healthcare - or at least, that's how a lot of people feel about it. i'm not sure about france or england, but canada's system isn't like that. my ex-boyfriend's brother is a doctor in canada, and he makes plenty of money under their current system. this argument seems to me to be based on misinformation, as is most of the discussion in this country about canada's health system. if you can get the numbers, i would be happy to change my mind on this question, but none of my canadian friends seem to have any issue with their healthcare. *facepalm* communism and socialism have nothing to do with free speech or the right to bear arms. they are predominantly governmental orientations to economic issues. yes, there have been communist countries that were also fascist or dictatorships, but communism doesn't inherently have anything to do with that. karl marx would have been all about free speech and gun rights. i'm not saying that this particular health bill is the best. but i get really pissed off when (1) people start throwing around the words "communism" and "socialism" without having any real clue as to what they mean (2) people start calling the poor lazy, or implying as much. i grew up in a really poor home, but my mother was not a lazy person. she worked 16+ hours a day, usually 6 days a week. yet we still couldn't make ends meet. my mother didn't want handouts; she wanted to be able to take care of her children. certainly we need to be careful not to rush any bill through, but at this point, healthcare is an urgent issue. if communities won't step up and take care of their own, then the federal government needs to take a stand and make it happen.

yeah, & the founding fathers also believed that a black person was only 1/8 of a human being. i dunno, i just think it's hard to pursue "life, liberty, & the pursuit of happiness" when i (even though i work full time as a teacher) can't afford adequate healthcare. but wait - i have "worked & received paychecks for years." i guess it must be wrong of me to think that i, as a human being, deserve affordable healthcare. i must have mistaken my WANT to be healthy for some kind of inherent human NEED. silly me, what was i thinking? of course human beings don't NEED to receive medical treatment. we should just let all of the poor people (including the ones who work 40+ hours a week & still can't make ends meet) die in the streets. or better yet: all of the people who work in food service & can't afford healthcare, we'll just let them go without medical treatment so that when they get communicable diseases, they can just spread it to everybody! sarcasm aside, i don't think that welfare is the perfect solution, & no i don't think that "FREE" healthcare is the best solution ever. but AFFORDABLE healthcare is a human NEED. a need that our country is obviously not meeting right now.

personally, i don't necessarily agree with the above. it's very different for me, but then again, every single woman is going to be different. you really can't generalize about something like this. women can be just as intellectual as men, & men can be just as emotional as women. & trust me, sex is important for women, too! i have a MUCH higher sex drive than my boyfriend, & i know lots of women who experience the same thing. for me, i don't get any emotional satisfaction from wearing at all. i just think diapers feel good. if i wear, it's almost certainly sexual. firstly, it turns me on to know that seeing me in a diaper turns my boyfriend on. secondly, my first experience wearing, he made sure to make it a good experience - i.e. sticking a nice little vibe in the diaper & sensually touching/humping me. because of that, from that moment on, diapers have had a positive sexual connotation for me. plus, if the diaper fits certain ways or is patted certain ways, it rubs against the clit. hello, happy woman! as for his diaper wearing, it turns me on because i know that it gives him pleasure. but his diaper wearing is where i get some emotional satisfaction. being his mommy is a chance for me to dote on him & show him how much i care about him, & show him affection, etc. because i can see how much it makes him relax & how much he enjoys it, i enjoy it too. plus, he's just cute!

my boyfriend said that back in the day, when the slash started to get used, he was a big part in pushing for it. it was important to him because he felt that being an AB was more fundamental to his personality, & in his opinion, there is a difference in the aesthetic of those who are strictly or primarly ABs & those who are strictly or primarily DLs. personally, i see bondage & discipline as being more a part of bdsm than ab/dl. so theoretically one could be an ab, a dl, or an abdl & be either interested or not interested in bdsm. i also know some folks who are ab/dls who would just as soon rather NOT be associated with bondage & discipline. that said, *shrug*. i think it only matter in so much as how people use it to identify themselves. for instance, my boyfriend identifies as an ab/dl, NOT an abdl, because he said his ab & dl sides as being related, but not the same thing.

shouldn't you have the right to healthcare? to be healthy? to LIVE? every human being's life has worth, even people who work at mcdonald's & can't afford healthcare under our current system. psssssh, the supreme court has never been impartial. anyone who has ever appointed a supreme court justice did so in the service of their own political beliefs. no person is ever impartial, not even judges. wow - we really should have informed every other president we've ever had about that. unfortunately, the systems of ideological/social/economic control are much more complicated than that. opportunity & financial status are often directly related to quality/amount of education, which is often related to the class/social status/race/region of the country you were born to. some people just literally don't have the same kinds of possibilities in the financial realm as others. that doesn't mean, of course, that welfare is the ultimate solution - the ultimate solution would be an overturning of current hegemonic systems of power & control. until then, one's income reflects many many more things than one's willingness to work. at the end of the day, i am neither liberal nor conservative, & i certainly am not a fan of any popular politician. i do however, believe that every single person has a right to food, shelter, healthcare, & education.

lmao

huh? BUSH KNOCKED DOWN THE TOWERS. (for more info) (or for much more detailed info, go here)

wow, artemis, is sure sounds like someone is angry. maybe a time-out is in order for all that bad language? i just mean, surely a political discussion can be had without resorting to insulting the other side & using dramatic (but generally rhetorically ineffective) swear words that are CAPITALIZED to make them stand out EVEN MORE THAN THE ARGUMENT BEING MADE. just sayin'.

ewww! chocolate is disgusting!!

i used to be about a size 22-24, but after a few years of pretty drastic eating disordered behavior, i'm now a size 10 & eating healthy... i found that when i was big, the only people who paid me any attention were "chubby chasers" (i put it in quotes because i hate that term), who really wanted nothing to do with me as a person. also, it was always like they wanted to have sex, but they didn't want to be seen in me with public because even though it turned them on that i was big, they didn't want anyone else to know it. :-/ it was really hurtful. that said, however, when i am with women, i prefer them to be healthy, no matter what size they are.

it's great that she's so accepting, it really is. but i would be concerned about anyone who went through my stuff after only 1 month of dating. that's just me, though.

hey everybody! well, as i said in my intro, i've been working on sewing AB clothes for my boyfriend from original patterns that i made. & since i've been burning the midnight oil on them recently, i finished two projects! obviously, i feel very accomplished about this. the first thing i made was a onesie. because my boyfriend is a slim guy, he always has had trouble ordering anything because they tend to sag & warp - not a good fit at all. but thankfully we were able to correct this problem & get him a great fitting onesie. the other project i did was a sissy dress with a matching headband. it's great with a thick diaper & a pair of tights - he looks just like a little doll! anyway, if you are interested in checking them out, go here. i would love to know what you all think.

well, if porn objectifies a woman - that is, reduces her to a sexual object for a man's pleasure - then yeah, that's using her. you seem to think i'm talking about the individual women who actually star in porn. i'm not. while many sex workers (both men & women) are abused or taken advantage of, i recognize that porn stars are making a choice to be involved in that work, & i respect it. i'm talking about the systemic issues that are both created in/through & create the porn industry as it stands. most scholars use the sapir-whorf hypothesis to relate to this issue, as well as philosophers michel foucault (who writes about discourse & sexuality) & louis althusser (who talks about interpellation into dominant systems of discourse). but again, i'm just relating what people say who get paid to be smart. actually, no. porn is made & marketed mostly for MEN. it has very little (if anything at all) to do with female sexuality. but like i said before, a lot of women DO like to watch porn. i'm one of them. in the right context, porn can be very hot. but that doesn't mean that i can't enjoy it & also understand how it functions in society. nothing is either good or bad absolutely. it's more nuanced than that.

offended by our own sexuality? what? i'm not offended by my sexuality; i'm offended by people who abuse, use, & manipulate women. i'm offended by people who, instead of taking a woman's sexuality into account, instead of wanting to give her the pleasure she is giving him (or her), instead fucks her just that much harder up her ass. no "offense", but you sort of sound like an ignorant asshole. i never said that porn was inherently bad, nor did i say that many women don't enjoy watching or participating in it. but without a doubt, if we as a society are inundated with images/video of women being used & objectified, those very things become normalized. then again, that's just what the leading scholars in media studies & communication studies say about it - & hey, what do people paid to think/research know?

well, i don't think anyone should have to explain that, since feminist scholars have been writing about it since the 90s. regardless of individual women, most academics/scholars/intellectuals who have researched & written about it have agreed to at least the idea that on a systemic level, porn often is demeaning to women & creates discursive space for further objectification & abuse of women, as well as creating unrealistic expectations for sexual performance. but again, that's a systemic problem, not necessarily a problem of any one woman. it is definitely true that many women who work in porn do so because they enjoy the lifestyle. but the discourse we participate in, as well as the media we consume, effects our reality. no, we shouldn't get rid of it or censor it, or whatever, but we do need to be careful in our consideration of its possible effects.