Bettypooh

Like Bobby, coffee gives me an OAB for awhile and for me I think it's a good thing. My bladder will hold the usual 500cc but it almost never wants to hold that much. It screams "GO" at about half that and isn't reliable past that point. With the peeing shut dowh overnight(I'm trying to fix that ) there's a lot of garbage for my kidneys to flush out in the morning and the OAB makes it happen faster. I'll die before I lose my morning caffiene. I've tried other morning beverages but nothing flushes me clean like coffee and I feel a lot stronger and better all day long after morning coffee. I do stay hydrated which is a major key to good health I've never noticed any difference in the smell of my diapers over coffee. That seems to be more related to how long I've worn it wet, which is how I like to wear it. That smell comes from urine saturated skin so I clean carefully at changes and air out frequently The "problem" I have with coffee is that I've always needed to pee when I stopped at the coffeemaker in the morning. I used to do a "PP dance" getting the first cup then go potty. I thought that bedtime diapering would help but if I'm already soaked my diaper can't hold that flood so the problem of a wet floor still remains. What the heck, it's vinyl and I've got a mop so no problem And since that fiest pee empties my bladder more completely than any other through the day it's a good thing Bettypooh

"Lately, I don't wear diapers to bed because I am afraid of having a heart attack and being discovered dead and diapered." Anondl, I used to be that way about my crossdressing. Then I thought it all through and decided to not worry. If I die in my sleep, then 1) I'm dead and it doesn't matter anymore, they can't hurt me anymore. 2) Dying suddenly anywhere still means that someone will be coming by to go through my stuff so they'll find it all and connect the dots anyway(and the same for my diapers now) 3) If I want to do something that doesn't hurt anyone else then I darn sure will. This is my life and lessening any peace or pleasure I can have while I am alive isn't an option. If I die in my sleep I want to be found in a 100% soaked diaper so there won't be any immediate questions about "why?" They're going to find my diary and go through my computer anyway so to heck with it! Those who need to know are aware of my being TG; the rest don't matter. wsdler, I used to think I'd like to stop this and a lot of other stuff too Again deeper thinking changed that. I've stopped drugs and alcohol(the cravings never go away but I will not indulge them), and I am better for that I know that for me there is no "Just a little bit once in awhile". I miss the relaxed feeling of a mild buzz more than you could know Yeah, there's a downside to loving diapers but I really don't want to stop like I did the other stuff. With my addictive personality it would have to be stopping the same way, completely. I would like better control over it but I can manage with the control I do have so I don't need or want a switch for this. It's me, I'm OK, and if my DL offends someone they have the problem, not me. I would like a switch to fix them to fix the problem(perhaps giving them a dose so they'd understand) jessm5, I want social acceptance too, which is why I don't share certain things with just anyone. In fact I really don't think anyone does Embarassment is one of those motivations that creates and maintains the social structure of humanity. Lose it and we lose the thing that makes us different from the other animals I like your 10 Rules, it's a good way to see things We all have wants that we think would do us good, yet we're human and fallible so having a magical "switch" probably isn't a good idea though it might make for good reading Bettypooh

I'm a fish out of water on this matter since I haven't worn male undies in ages but I hear lots of similar complaints since the industry moved overseas I have been pleased with the women's Jockey "Elance" line and they have a male "Elance" counterpart. Not cheap but very good quality and they might be what you're looking for The only visible difference is the girl's has a white tag while the guy's have a black one, and of course the cut and fit. I like snugness so the women's bikini's are my workwear, the men's look a bit looser there. If it bugs you, take a black marker and 'fix' the tag, then nobody will know even of they happen to see And I doubt that the gov't will bail you or me out. We're poor little powerless unknowns so we don't mean anything to them unless they want some more of our money Bettypooh

Mead(an alcoholic beverage)

Hello and Welcome Please feel you are among friends here because you are I'm kind of new myself and I really like it here. I hope you do too! Bettypooh

Hi Sophie I have about half a gazillion ideas about adding femininity to one's life. It's kind of "been there done that" for me plus I've learned things from many others who've also traveled the lesser-taken paths in life IM me if you want to hear some more. I hope you're OK medically. Nowdays I don't like taking any more meds than absolutely necessary(especially considering my drug-dependant past). I do take numerous vitamins and supplements daily that keep me fairly healthy. Not so long ago I was a druggie by fate, choice, and scrip when I began my Transition. To get SRS you have to do that, and you have to take a potent mix of T-blockers and 'mones and have close medical monitoring forever. It's kind of like being diabetic but far more expensive and just as deadly if you get it wrong It changes you, controlling your life and the way you think but that's what you asked for when you began taking them. Clinical depression ended that part of my life, but nobody knows if she will come back to take all of my life again. I'm making it OK for now by appeasing my feminine side as much as I feel the need to. I hated the depression meds which they were changing and increasing. When I saw that their side effects were worse for me than the depression I weaned myself from them against their advice. They underestimated my willpower and inner strengths which I'd learned to draw on when things got rough. I couldn't have done that without learning how to diagnose my own mental issues to deal with them properly. I had to learn from my therapist how to be my own therapist to get away from the meds without her figuring out what I was doing It took over a year but I managed to do it and I'm usually better now than ever before. If the depression ever gets beyond my control I will be running back to her, my doctor, and the dam* meds I so hate so I can stay alive. It's kind of like sitting on a box of sweaty dynamite and constantly being aware of every tiny thing all around you so you don't go BOOM! To do this you have to go to a Therapist and learn how it works first! End of Sermon I'm glad to see that you decided to do something nice with your hair Back when I ran from my female feelings I kept my hair short and manly. When I finally faced myself I realized that what I really wanted was long beautiful hair and bangs so I began letting it grow. Unfortunately I waited a bit too long and my hair had done most of the growing it's going to do I can still make it pretty but I'll never have what I wanted, bummer. If that's something you want to try then don't wait as long as I did to start. At work I keep it as a short ponytail and nobody thinks twice about it. Well maybe twice but never three times It doesn't need much cutting but it feels nice to have my stylist give it the tiniest trimming and make it as femme as she can a couple times a year. She really enjoys doing it, she says it keeps her skills sharp After my first time there I asked her if she had ever had any other guys ask for a femme looking "do". She smiled and said "Sure. But that's all I'll tell you, a girl's got to have her secrets you know!" We both laughed It's nice to share with friends Bettypooh

If there is something in the water in NC, it got downstream here to south of Spartanburg SC, not too far from the stateline Hi Y'all up there Bettypooh

Right now it's "Trail of Tears" and the rest of "Walking in the Shadow of The Big Man" by Guadalcanal Diary. Earlier it was a homemade "Best of The Cars" (to hear their song "Nightspots"), Angst(KMFDM), and a morning full of Kate Bush Bettypooh

Gotcha on the product differences Repaid I don't think I want to be wearing a new car, only driving one And 'Armor-all' has it's uses such as on motorcycle seats and tires It's loads of fun watching an idiot falling off the seat or dropping the bike that they just spent SO much time on getting it shiny. You'd be surprised how many non-thinkers try it on their bikes and learn the lesson the hard way Not having known anyone who tried it, the 'new car smell' stuff might work, yet it goes against what little I know of plastic engineering. Plastics are long-chain polymers where electrons combine, share, and link during manufacturing becoming new solids. This is mainly a mechanical bonding produced by heating and mixing. The loss of pliability and softness is due to those electrons escaping into the surrounding enviroment which is what you smell with new plastics. Once they escape, they can't be put back without going through the heating and mixing process all over again. At least that is what I heard from folks who should know. That's why I never dug any deeper on the subject I'd love to be proven wrong on this It would be awesome to save the various plastic stuff all of us have from it's relatively short lifespan. Maybe somebody here will give it a try and share their results with us. You'll know who it is when you walk past someone with a suspiciously thick bottom and suddenly get an uncontrollable urge to go car shopping Bettypooh

Sophie Though I'm not AB I understand a lot about where you're coming from. Please seek out a therapist. Often they can be found free at local mental health clinics in large cities and counties. If that doesn't work then buck up and pay for one. Why am I so insistent on this point? Because when my own TG feelings boiled over and I had to come out as my real self, my life was like an airplane out of control heading for a big crash. I see many of those same feelings in your posts and replies here. Through therapy I avoided my contemplated suicide, found ways to deal with every part of my emotional life, and was diagnosed as having clinical depression which was the root of all of the evils that had set upon me I had to take meds for a long time but I hated them so I learned how to handle my depression without them By allowing myself to express my feminine aspects more openly the depression lessened. By getting comfortable doing that it lessened further. By learning my own 'danger' signals about an episode of depression being imminent I learned to stave it off before it grew to where it would overwhelm me. I'm fine now but without my therapist you wouldn't be reading this because I would be fertilizer. It can hit you so hard and so fast that you wouldn't believe it. Do it, please! Not wanting to end my reply on a sour note here's some fun things for you to think about A thin disposable diaper will make your backside and hips look more feminine if you pull a tightish pair of full cut brief panties over them. An old-fashioned waist cincher pulls the belly back into a nicer shape and supports your back too. Breast forms made of silicone can be had cheaper on Ebay than in the specialty CD stores. The molded ones are relatively cheap and the costlier gel filled ones are so real that by feel you can hardly tell the difference Buy something smaller than you think you want unless you really want to have everyone staring at you in public If you can't afford these, fill an old pair of knee-hi stockings with round bird seed till you get the size you want. Under a bra they will look better than you think and won't burst like a water baloon will! Not being sexual, play with your 'toy' and you can find a place where you can tuck it away out of sight with relative comfort. Use your cincher-reduced belly's bottom as a place to begin stuffing hose into your panties(or diapers)until you get the single rounded look in front that larger girls have Keeping your legs and body shaved clean, then using a pleasant smelling lotion afterwards will go a long way to making you feel feminine. It can be a lot of maintaining but it's well worth it. Maybe Mommy can help do that for you? Either way just relax and enjoy being pampered(as opposed to being diapered)during the process. Begin your shopping at used clothing stores. Fewer people are there and the cheap prices will let you figure out your clothing sizes without having to try them on. Go there with a girl and nobody will say a thing, promise! Put the manly deodorants and colognes away and begin using the nicer products. I use generic 'Secret' and never have an odor problem, and my perfume is a very faint floral scent that never gets noticed unless you're right against me(but I smell it and I like it). Find comfortable panties that you can wear during your undiapered times. Jockey's cotton 'Elance' line for girls and boys has no difference at the waistband except for the color of the small tag so nobody will know a thing if your shirttail pops out. The white cotton bikinis I wear to work are quite comfy indeed Try some of these things and let your girlish feelings have an outlet. Repression leads to depression and you need to avoid that. Seek therapy, it really helps more than you think it can. Do things for your body that make you feel good inside regularly and relish those times. They're for you alone and you're worth it Deal with your problems now, even if you're feeling better at the moment, because we both know that they will be returning again and again for the rest of your life until you find a fix. Above all, let yourself be the real you as much as you can and don't feel guilty about doing it. Take Care Friend! Bettypooh

I just discoved this thread too. I don't want to fuel any flames but I am definately not AB(except that I like rubber duckies but I blame that on Ernie ) I would like to role-play it sometime but not for long. Being older I like my diapers to look like the diapers of my earlier years. Looks matter to me but I'm Tg so that goes with the turf If you wanted to use sets and subsets to define us here, you'd eventually create as many categories as there are people and we all need more letters to describe ourself than we could remember I say don't bother. We have something in common to share that goes farther than our differences do and since the rest of the world will lump us all into the category of "ABDL" anyway, it really doesn't make any great difference that I can see. Let's just be ourselves and let everybody else do the same Bettypooh

I've saved some plastic and rubber panties that tore, but only the ones that seemed to be decently repairable, which I haven't tried to do yet. If there is enough material left or it's an elastic issue, a repair shouldn't be too hard to do. Duct tape(the handyman's best friend )or cloth medical adhesive tape makes for a usable temporary fix that will remain waterproof as long as it stays stuck, but it won't last forever and it isn't pretty I'm no chemist but many of them say that once the chemicals in plastic have leached out there is no way of putting them back. The only known way to put them in is during the manufacturing process. These same people said that stuff like "Armor All" really doesn't add to the life of plastics except in the case of helping block the sun's UV rays which is the worst-case scenario for plastic leaching(YMMV). One of them(also a pilot)recommended using an expensive de-icing boot preservative made by a company which is no longer in business. Maybe there are similar products out there but I never looked beyond the one I heard about. If it really worked there, you'd think it would work about anywhere. And as little sunlight as my plastic panties see I wonder if anything would be worth the cost and bother. Now back to housework for me Bettypooh

"Well Said BettyPooh, any chance you would like to run the Big Three?" Only if they gave me complete control of everything, Carte Blanche But really, I wouldn't want to get my hands dirty in that way, and then the ones in power wouldn't let me live very long afterwards. I'll just sit here resting wet and crinkly until I go back to cleaning my house "Work ethic and pride were the American way, what is it called today? I don't want to say...so sad. " It's called a rarity and usually found only among us older buggers who understand it's real value I know a few 'youngsters' under 35 who've learned this and knowing them is a pleasure indeed All hope isn't lost my friend, just most of it. Don't give up the ship just yet, we may be able to bail her out and get back on course(with some hard work and pride that is!) Bettypooh

I'm not much AB(sorry)but yeah, that and everything else is variable in my life If it's something I really like then I won't let it get too far away Bettypooh

That's beginning to happen. Some Psychs are starting to think outside of the box they used to voluntarily confine themselves in(oh my, a bondage fetish perhaps? ). Remember, they are the experts and not us(so why is it that I have enogh sense to not believe everything a proffessed cocaine addict says and they don't?) Hmmmm, maybe the shrink needs to see a shrink? Seriously, Freud had a lot of insight into the inner workings of the mind, but he didn't get everything right. I believe that is what we consider "normal" for humans, isn't it? Please keep that in mind if you go into this field and remember that there really is no "thinking outside of the box", there are only "boxes" that you willingly confine yourself to for reasons of comfort and social ease Bettypooh

"Unlike most of you, I actually do want to stop. I dont want to be wierd or different anymore......" Now that makes you think First, I want to be different I'm nobody's clone, but I don't want to be so different that I get only rejection. And I don't want to stop. I love diapers and I see nothing wrong with that I know that I can't stop, and that part I wouldn't mind changing. I'd prefer to have a choice in the matter but since I don't, I'll simply accept that this is who I am and how I'm made and love myself as I am anyway. I'll find a way to deal with this that doesn't hurt anyone and go on with my life Many psychological problems come from losing sight of this part of my reply. Be who you are, be different, and be happy about it! Bettypooh

Warning to the readers: This is a long reply and something of a venting! "I think it was blatently a marketing ploy." I mostly agree. The cloth backing does 'breathe' better but that is the only benefit I can see. It wouldn't surprise me if there is a hidden reason or two like "more profitable" or "easier to make" There is something to be said for those reasons but a really good company knows that your longest success is in giving the customer what they are asking for. One word makes this apparent: Bambino's The days when a manufacturer's visionary leadership dared to give the customer what they really wanted or needed are mostly gone. They've been replaced by greedy worry-warts who only try to produce a quarterly dividend for the stockholders, knowing their tenure will last only until the next stockholder's meeting if they don't. They don't have the courage like the older corporate leaders had, they only seek to have enough excuses to cover their butts and keep their jobs if it doesn't go as well as they hoped for. They hire expensive "experts" to do market research and manufacturing technology studies and put the money that could have gone into the long-term stockholders pockets somewhere else. So long as the books show a short-term profit everyone but the consumer wins. We've been forgotten completely. They play a game of "catch-up", emulating each other's products with very little difference between them, worrying that someone else got it right and that they didn't. In the end we, the consumers, lose viable product choices and the jobs we had that allowed us to buy those products in the first place So if a diaper maker wants to be 'different' and produce cloth covers, the others will follow suit. Then when every diaper maker has cloth covers, the first one will spend exhorbitant sums again trying something else to stay 'ahead of the game' so the CEO can keep his overpaid job another year The others follow suit again and it becomes a vicious circle of continious losing. In the end we pay more and get less, and we never get what we want since they've completely forgotten that we are their reason for job even existing, not the stockholders! Trivia time Everyone knows that RCA was one of the biggest radio makers since the 20's and 30's, then TV came along and they were again a leader. Sarnoff ran the company with an eye toward long-term gains even if it didn't make a dividend this quarter. When color TV came along many companies vied to have their system standardized, and none of these systems were compatible. Sarnoff put millions into the project knowing it would take awhile for the profits to catch up, but certain that they would be there by the carload eventually. To ensure that they lasted that long he continued the profitable lines and a few popular but not profitable ones. He knew the value of brand loyalty depended on that. And they succeeded, making RCA the biggest and strongest electronics firm in the world. BTW, that took 20 years, not 20 months. Sarnoff retired and was replaced by sycophants seeking only stockholder approval, to he!! with what the customers really wanted or needed. In less than 20 years, RCA fell so low that they ended up being bought out by a French conglomerate called Thompson, and most of their American jobs went overseas Diaper makers have fallen into that trap too, as have most corporations worldwide, and this is why we have the economic woes we are facing now. If Sarnoff were making diapers today, you would be able to get whatever you wanted, along with the best diaper it is possible to make. Instead we get whatever they give us; the corporations know that we have to buy something so they will then make something off of us anyway. I hate that Bambinos cost so much and there are a few changes I'd like to see them make in a product made just for me, but even with that I am going to buy them from time to time anyway. Why? Because I like the way they think, and the way they give us what we want Nobody cares as much about the AB/DL market as they do so the more they succeed, the better they will be able to make the different lines we want to buy, and in the end everybody will win and be happy. That won't happen if Bambinos doesn't make it through this worldwide economic rough spot, so now more than ever we need to support them. Think about it and then buy with your own best long-term interests as your guide for who to buy from. And no, I don't make a dime off of Bambino's I just like the way they think so they're my friend Bettypooh

I spent decades trying to repress my transgendered self, hiding the clothes, purging, and finally breaking apart inside when I finally concluded that this was something that I couldn't hide anymore. Besides I was going out in public and sooner or later someone was going to see me and figure out who I was so I had to get the coming-out over with. I was visibly TG but my diapers are different, they're hidable and hidden, and never would I open the subject with family members. If they discover my secret they will think that my old 'problem' returned or never went away(my potty training was waaaaaay late). I'll say I've seen the doctor and that nobody seems to be able to affect a cure(kind of true, I've seen the doctor but not for this and nobody can cure me of being DL ). The discussion will end there. My family never speaks of sex and I'd never bring up the subject because the result would be losing them. I've put them through enough coming out TG and I don't need a tragedy like that in my life, especially now that I've come so far. My family means everything to me and I would never do anything I could avoid that might cause them pain. Bettypooh

Hi Michelle I hope you enjoy the Site with us. Yeah, sometimes you end up with someone who had more in mind(but didn't say it)than you thought And it's not you! My sister had a marriage anulled after 2 weeks when the 'sweetheart' instantly turned into a real jerk the morning after the ceremony. Don't let one sour grape make you throw the whole bunch away, just take whatever time you need and life will come calling again when you're ready May your next bite of life be tasty, zesty, and addicting Bettypooh

Tight is better for me. I can't stand having a droopy diaper trying to slide down my legs I once had my diaper fall down as I walked back from my mailbox. Luckily nobody saw me I felt it slipping so I tried to walk bow-legged to stop it but it slid more. I tried to hold it in place with a hand on the front of my bathrobe, and just as my hand got there a tape ripped through the plastic. Splat! Right there at my feet was a soaked diaper I had to reach down and get the front of it in my right hand, then slide the left side up with my other hand as I held a few letters in my teeth. It would have made for a comical sight I guess, but since then it's t-i-g-h-t and if I think the tapes won't hold I pin or tape over them. I don't want to relive that part of my past Bettypooh

I have one day-weight flannel pull-on from Gary's in Canada. It's a Med and I should have bought a Sm(YMMV but if you're in between sizes go for the smaller one first). The 4 layer liner is sewn in only at the ends which helps drying time and the quality is very good. The body is 2 more layers and a night-time weight is availlable. I don't like flannel as a diaper material. Many proper washings later I still feel like I'm sitting on a plank when I wear these(and my pin-on flannels too). If that's not an issue then you might like these. I Ebayed mine from "Diaperdad" but they're availlable elsewhere. What I'd like to find is Training Pants, made with a wider seat and front, fully sewn, with terrycloth padding and a smooth cotton inner liner. My memory isn't as good as it once was, but I seem to remember baby ones which had the liner ends cut in a semi-circle and that's what I would really love to try. Everything I've found so far just doesn't appeal to me(often it's the too-high price)so my search goes on I have decided to keep my eyes open for a good sewing machine to learn on and to begin making or altering the diaper things I want but can't find. If I become good at it I might begin doing custom work for others(hopefully a lot cheaper than what I've seen)but remember that this is just a wish at the moment, I'm a long way from there yet! Bettypooh

"Unless a person actually goes to a psychiatrist/psychologist for counseling or therapy, there is no way of gathering information. And what information is obtained is not always accurate." I'll stick my 2 cents worth on this thread in here You're absolutely right about the above. My time with my 'head doctors' would register a hit in a hundred areas. Some had more impact than others, in my case gender issues, anger management, depression, and suicide. And since these doctors can't always clearly define things, how they rate you is very subjective. Because of that, their science is quite imperfect as are their conclusions. That's not to say that they can't help you because I'm living proof that they can No doctors are supposed to give out any of your personal info anyway. My therapist said she never did and never would and that many of her colleagues felt the same way. As to genetics, I know of nothing in my family to indicate a predisposition to anything except drinking. My own impetus into being DL is probably from parents who tried to make me grow up too fast, and an incontinence problem(pants and bedwetting till mid-teens and later)that they never allowed me to address with diapers. I didn't want them as a child but they would have made the living he!! of my youth much better. It was a need then and an extreme want now. A lot of introspection and a lot of learning how therapy and psychology work brought these conclusions to me. I am living out something from my past by giving myself the thing(s) that were not allowed me as a child. And being diapered improves the quality of my sleep which has always been a big issue for me. There is something of a rebel in all of us as we have a tendency to act out the things we were once denied; it's part of being human. To that extent it may be genetic but I doubt it goes any further Bettypooh

Hello and welcome I began posting here not too long ago myself though I 'lurked' for more than a year. Of all the DL sites I found, this one seems to have more real people than any other. Never feel bad about what you can't do as long as you're doing what you can. Far too many people never even try to reach their potential but it seems like you're doing pretty darn good to me I hope you enjoy your time here! Bettypooh

Anytime you want to find the number of people who do things that society doesn't openly embrace you'll end up missing a lot of them. How many wear? How many will someday wear, but haven't yet? How many want to but never will? How many don't know that others are like us? It's a nice thought but I for one don't believe an accurate estimate can be made since so many of us hide. My own first encounter was a reference to DPF in(of all places)Iron Horse Magazine, an alternative biker rag Someone mentioned it in a letter they published, and a few replied about how sick it was Let's see, that was the late 70's or early 80's I think. Later on I saw a few references to DPF in some sex mags. Back then I knew I was TG but still deeply closeted, I had scary questions about my own sexual orientation, and I thought that DPF was some kind of Gay group so I never dug any deeper. And back then my own diaper desires had a more practical angle since I was still bedwetting sometimes and I thought it was why I was interested in adult diapering. Back then nobody could have found me to count me as a wearer. The internet is a wonderful thing which allowed me to find myself, find others with similar likes, and especially to find out that no matter what you think is so weird that you must be the only one, you're not alone The WWW took off as mostly American and some European which is why English is so usual. I don't know where we are now, but the vast majority of the people alive today will never be online, they can barely afford to have any clothing so it's just a dream if they think of it at all. We may not see ourselves as rich, but if you can read this you're far better off than most of the world. Looking at it that way, it's easy to understand why we can never really know how many of us there are. For myself, that makes me appreciate all those who are here with me a lot more We're just the "tip of the iceberg" so there will be many more friends to make in the future as the internet spreads Bettypooh

The worst was the one I didn't get, but the other charges I did get made up for it(riding left of center, reckless driving, and 2 for illegal passing). They estimated my speed at 120MPH in a 40 zone but they were about 5mph slow - a Kawi 1000 and I never saw them till after I had parked it. One good lawyer and nearly $800 later and all I got convicted for was an expired MC permit, WHEW! The worst speed I actually got was 80MPH in a 55 zone. He'd clocked me on radar at 123 a few miles back, but wrote me up for the lower speed because I had slowed down by the time he caught up with me. Never saw him till the end either -road testing a 70 GTX I'd just bought. $20 and a nice judge and it was done. Wish I still had that car! The worst by price was $155 for 65 in a 40 zone- I was a speed demon in my teens and that cop knew me and my car all too well That weekend my red 67 Ford got painted primer gray to match a couple others like it in the area. Funny thing, my insurance didn't go up that time! Much older now and a whole lot slower PLEASE drive sanely in case I'm out there with you Bettypooh