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You know, who CARES what makes a person a diaper lover? What makes a person a Corvette lover? What makes a person a golf nut? What makes a person a lover of fine art, of fine wine, of NASCAR, of hockey or football or baseball or soccer, or of fine art, or food? What makes a person a lover of ANYTHING? We spend SO much time eating ourselves up over why we are different from other people. In the norm! And, we DLs and ABs chew on ourselves over the fact that, no, we are NOT incontinent, and no, we do not NEED absorbent underwear to survive and thrive, but we LIKE diapers, we WANT to be in them and USE them, and we PERCEIVE how different it makes from "mainstream" society. We are often SO torn-up about it, we don't even consider those drifting from the path of Puritan, missionary-position sex, society. Geez, what about oral sex, anal sex, enemas, bondage, spanking - anything that varies from what was perceived as "normal" at one time! Look, diapers ARE an accepted part of our society - and, for that matter, WORLD society - with the number of diapers being produced around the world, for humans of ALL ages! Would not SIZE be LIMITED were diapers restricted to a certain segment of society, in ALL cultures? Think about THAT! Diapers are absorbent underwear. What YOU choose to wear, and how you choose to USE it, is YOUR choice. Right? And, just like YOU may have a more favorite sports team than a friend of yours, what YOU choose as your favorite underwear can be JUST as different. If you are an AB versus DL(who often can do the DL thing under regular clothing, without anyone else the wiser...), you may have to "arrange" a "scene" to accomodate your desires and needs. But, is this any different than someone into spanking or bondage? Not on your life! Stop beating yourself up. LEARN how to satisfy yourself and accomodate your needs. Stop whining about not "finding" someone to love you, to accomodate you, to "play" with you. LEARN what it takes to make your dreams come true and WORK toward that goal. Only YOU can prevent it from happening! Only YOU can turn someone else off by NOT being intelligent in shepherding a "newbie" or someone who is "vanilla" into YOUR SCENE! Wake up, smarten up and help us ALL make our DL world just as much a NORMAL thing as any other variant to missionary-position sex. Geez, we DLs are pretty damned intelligent, damned open, and damned accepting folks. Wouldn't YOU agree?

Bondage is a special sharing between two persons. It is neat to be treated to feeling as one wants to feel, restricted and controlled, or allowed to BE restrictive and controlling. There is TRULY a fine line between whether the DOM is in control, OR the SUB, having discussed what the sub is turned on by, IS stimulated by within the "demands" of the DOM! Yeah, Top Guy, who IS in control and HOW FAR does it go? LOL Like anything else, within the scope of a "mutual scene", two accepting partners can really flip the switch of their significant other. How sad so many of us, and the rest of the world, seem to think that it is perversion. The USA, in the early '40s, entered a World War to make sure that WE ALL could ENJOY this type of scene, or situation, willingly and voluntarily, as STIMULATION, versus evil, cruel, inhumanity in the vein of human domination by others. How nice we are able to CHOOSE to ENJOY PLAYFUL domination, and come out of it unharmed, stimulated and loving... Oh, and YES, COME OUT OF IT, not doomed to be KEPT controlled for however long our "keepers" wish to let us live....

I have been identified as a spammer. I happened to come across gear, in Europe, that people were looking for. I posted it, copy & paste, in several places. I LOVE the PARANOIA at websites. I thought I was being helpful. Never mind....

Kara: I know you're out there, I've tried to contact you previously, it hasn't happened. Hey, enjoy what you do, and be focussed toward how you present WHO you ARE to others. If they are not in the AB/DL "pipeline", you have some work to do to present the YOU that YOU ARE to them. What WILL you do? What WILL you DO? : ) Really, it's not so hard. You have to decide that your happiness and fulfillment is MORE than what "normals" expect "bliss" to be! LOL I will try to steer my new bride into understanding what the "intimacy" of a DL and partner is IS worth her exploration. And, SHE will see it, in time. I'd love to talk to you more. Game? Tom

Congratulations for being such a supportive and open-minded GF. Many women, when facing a BF who is AB or DL, would get angry and walk(or run) the other way! It's great you were willing to embrace the situation and then had fun. Just a suggestion, but it's a two-way street! You can indulge him, but he needs to make your participation worth YOUR while, too! And, that may take some discussion to see what THAT will mean! LOL I'm tickled pink for the both of you. It CAN be a win-win situation for the both of you, if no one gets selfish and forgets the needs of the other partner....

Sweet young woman, WHAT would you be doing wrong? YOU have real medical issues to deal with! THAT is substantial for YOUR life. You have already shown acceptance and encouragement to your BF, far more than many DLs and ABs EVER receive - they have to hide their "leanings" from their SO and indulge themselves in private forever! I think your BF is being very selfish and immature. You don't TURN someone into a DL or AB. There are ABs and DLs that WISH they could become true incon to legitimize their wearing and use of diapers. IBS is a very difficult medical problem in and of itself. Having to wear diapers "just in case" is NOT something most people want to have to do. And, then, to actually have an uncontrolled accident out in public could be downright traumatizing. For DLs, the fetish often HAS sexual connections and connotations. This is where BF needs to be more considerate and less demanding. It sounds to me that you care for him A LOT. It sounds like you've gone the extra mile, especially if you've been with him for 4 years. Too, you both are young, and you are showing a great deal of maturity, especially with YOUR OWN situation. The fact is, perhaps your BF is not "the one". And finding out how he is or CAN BE, before you get married, might just save you from an unhappy divorce. There are many men out there that would be delighted to have you in their lives, just from the fact that you accept DLs, are encouraging, and are willing to participate from time to time, that would NOT be demanding, would be tender and caring lovers, AND, as the situation presented itself, would be sympathetic and empathetic AND do anything they could to support YOU in your situation with IBS, to the point of assisting you with diapers, and helping you to be as discreet as was possible, to make you feel as "normal" as possible in the "regular" world. Yes, there ARE men like that "out here". Sorry for MY lengthy reply. But, the AB/DL/Incon world is a two-way street when it comes to a partner. If one wants to be satisfied oneself, one has to offer something in return. And, one cannot be selfish or it will erode the delicate balance relationships enjoy, especially when they are NOT totally "vanilla". Best of luck and best wishes. Perhaps your BF can see he could be acting a little selfish and will be willing to think less about himself, and more about you, and in return, you may be more willing to indulge what he perceives are his needs. Give and take will bring a couple to a point of balance.

The main thing, Adrian, is how discreet or NOT discreet you want to be. As adults, we are programmed to think that diapers are for infants only. So, if someone who is not 80 or 90 years old, and not in a nursing home, is discovered wearing or obviously in diapers, then something must be wrong. However, MOST people are ULTRA sympathetic and empathetic, and unless someone is obviously acting like an Adult Baby, and will give the person in diapers the benefit of the doubt, that they NEED to be in those diapers. And, in some cases, like at a laundromat, maybe the person exposing their diapers or diapers and plastic pants, who may be pretty bulky, well, maybe they ran out of clothes, didn't have much to throw on, especially that was more concealing, so it is no big deal! Other people can be VERY understanding, unless a person is obviously out to make a spectacle of themself, at which point understanding WILL go out the window, and the full force of scorn will take over. It's how YOU present yourself that makes all the difference. If you are slightly embarassed-acting and DON'T try to be any more obvious than you already ARE, you will pretty much find yourself more ignored than not. Of course, little kids might do their normal outspoken, ask an embarassing question thing, but you'd just have to take that in stride. Otherwise, the occasional, unintended exposure is not a serious thing. And, if you truly WANT to NOT risk exposure, onesies are specifically designed - and available at a variety of places/sites - to protect from unintended and unintentional exposure. Of course, a diapered woman, wearing a very short skirt, out buying shoes, IS going to expose far more than she wants to whether she wants to or not. Or, DOES she? LOL

The comment about having a "deep dark secret" was made. When I met my fiancee, I had done a number of things in attempting, while dating, to reveal my "leanings", my fetishism, my kinky nature. Some of the women I dated - whom I met at "legitimate" date sites, like eHarmony, Match.com, etc. - took to my "revelation" about being a DL, a diaper fetishist. Others simply wanted to not talk about it or have nothing to do with it. A couple, once we parted ways, suddenly regretted being so closed-minded. During the course of the "relationship", several were quite willing to participate and encourage me. The darker I made my secret sound, the more often my "revelation" seemed so harmless once revealed. After all, I was NOT a pedophile or convicted axe murderer! When I told her what the situation really was, and that she would have to accept the situation, and ME, as I was and with what I was into, or we would have to part ways - and I KNEW that this woman had fallen into love with me, and I was more fond of her than with any other woman in my life for a long time! - and she's stuck by me. She told me to be patient, and I HAVE been. We just had a fantasy of mine come true over this past weekend. It was as much to HER benefit as to mine. How you choose to reveal your leanings and world is ultimately important. WHEN you do so, is your choice, but you have to be intelligent about it. And, to be honest, it's best to get to know the person you choose to make revelation to, then proceed to make that revelation with that in mind. It's not easy, but it IS necessary. Oh, the question about being a DL or an AB? Or why God let you be an incon, or transgender, or gay or whatever? Drive yourself crazy! There are some questions in this life and world that just have NO answer. As others have said, once you get to know yourself, get to be comfortable with yourself, and LIKE yourself - AS YOU ARE - THEN, and ONLY THEN, can you reach out to and relate to/with other people. And, in many cases, it's how YOU present YOURSELF that leads the way in how OTHERS see you. Experiment with that. You'll see what we all mean! When you love YOURSELF, OTHERS will be led to love YOU. A positive aura brings a positive response from and by others. It doesn't MATTER "why". It IS. If you can deal with it in a positive fashion, you will find happiness. Happiness begins WITHIN, and never from the OUTSIDE. And, when YOU accept yourself for who you are, what you are and HOW you are, you will RADIATE that to others, and they will respond to YOU in kind...

Diapers and "plastics" for ME. They are DIAPERS, especially thick puffy cloth diapers which I prefer. Never knew real Playtex latex/rubber pants. Before MY time. Crinkly swishy Gerber plastic pants. My fiancee has trouble calling my diapers diapers, and prefers to refer to me as being "puffy" or "Mr. Puffy Pants". Hey, I'll take what I can get. At least I have her acceptance and can indulge myself whenever I want to, even in front of HER! I'm blessed! LOL

I more "binge" than anything else. I will go for long periods of time - weeks, maybe a couple of months - where I am in diapers A LOT. I prefer cloth diapers with plastic pants, but to wear to bed at night, they have to be bulky - disposables leak, so I will NOT wear them overnight - and I normally don't sleep very well, keep waking up due to discomfort, though I will wet willingly and then usually go back to sleep. With Molicare or Abena with soakers, I can wear ONE diaper all day, and often DO go up to 16 hours in ONE diaper. But, I DO always use at least two pairs of plastic pants. There are times when 24/7 just would NOT be convenient or palatable, so I have a lot of respect for the true incons. But, as a DL, I DO enjoy wearing and using diapers, in public, discreetly, under regular "normal" adult clothes.

How about a special cloaking device that would allow any AB/DL/Incon to go out and about in just diapers and a t-shirt, like is okay and expected for someone MUCH younger (!), without anyone else actually seeing that attire or noticing it, with the wearer seeming to be dressed appropriately?

What is TOO much time diapered? How much can you spare? How much can you get away with? How long CAN you be in wet diapers? How much time can you DEVOTE to messy diapers? If you don't mind rash or your pee or feces don't CAUSE you rash, enjoy! Yeah, with soil there IS the mess and the smell, but hey, you're in DIAPERS. That's what they're FOR! LOL And, there IS Nullo, among other products for "internal deodorizing". Too, how does wet and/or messy make you FEEL? HOW does it feel for you, being wet and/or messy? There is NO right answer. If you force other people to DEAL with your being wet and/or messy, like they have to SMELL you, and CAN smell the situatiion, THAT is not good. We don't need to impose OUR pleasures on others, especially if they wouldn't be able to understand it or appreciate it. However, if you can indulge yourself - BE diapered - and use your diapers DISCREETLY, as much or as fully as you want to, GO FOR IT! In most cases, if your diapers are discovered or noticed - and you've BEEN discreet - you will get sympathy and in most cases, embarass the one who discovers the situation, versus YOU being embarassed. Adults wearing diapers publicly is not considered "the norm" or "usual". Thus, you can enjoy yourself as much as you like, so long as you don't force others to deal with you or your situation. Feel different. Feel decadent. ENJOY what you feel, for as long as you are able to! MY two cents, in a humble opinion...

Maybe I'm in the wrong spot, and headed on an improper thread, but to me, diapers without plastic pants just doesn't make a complete "system". Does anybody know, since VI Products no longer has plastic pants - they ran out of medical grade vinyl and chose not to reorder a 7 year supply, the owner is 63 and doesn't want to work another 7 years - where a lightweight vinyl pant, similar to the old Gerber-style plastic pants, can be gotten? What companies are offering a lightweight pant? Lots of heavier-weight pants are available. Any ideas? Any recommendations, especially affordable pants that may be high waist in the back, as well?

While I have only had a couple of enemas, I came across a great equipment site. I recommend you check out: www.arthurhamilton.com. I've bought from there before, good service, decent prices. Just one more place to try...

You know, if the so-called "normal" and "straight-line" world had ANY idea how many intelligent, insightful and just plain fabulous people there ARE in OUR AB/DL world, they would NOT believe it, nor would they be able to understand HOW it is that those same people are into the AB/DL world. The more I read, the more I "hear", the happier I am that I came across this site and participate. I am growing by leaps and bounds, and feeling more complete and NORMAL every day. Of course, I'm spending more time in diapers, too! A bad thing? NOYL

I know we all are terrified of revealing our "secret" or secret self. WELL SAID, Morv. You used intelligence and guile that few ever take the time to develop. I made it sound to my new GF very dark, distressing and something I had to broach but could not. Finally, worried I was a pedophile or escaped axe murderer, I revealed my being a diaper fetishist. It was like, "Oh, only THAT?" At 44, she turned out to be pretty vanilla, uninformed and not all that into any type of kink. But, she said it was MY thing, and to go ahead and indulge myself. I had ACCEPTANCE. Now, I'd like to have encouragement and participation. She said to give her time to digest this thing, and now she LOOKS for me to be "puffy". That's a start. I want her to wonder why I'm NOT in diapers versus why I AM. Will I ever get HER into diapers, will I ever get her to understand how seeing an adult woman in diapers is far more erotic to me than any Playboy centerfold? Who knows? But, like you, I started out KNOWING I had to make a revelation before things go too close and it WAS an intelligent conversation, with me listening and answering questions, as well as relating my story and situation. I've met my soul-mate who is becoming my best friend. I will continue to hope she sees what my diaper life means to me and welcome it in OUR relationship. Had I just dropped it into her lap, she'd be long gone by now. Oh, too, in explaining the difference between AB and DL, she said she didn't think she could deal with AB. I guess certain matches ARE made in Heaven...

Thanks for your support C.J. and Attends. C.J., you are wise beyond your years. I just think, what would happen if an AB or DL was a really great candidate, would make an excellent President, and had the opportunity destroyed BECAUSE he or she WAS an AB or DL, and the word got out - "accidentally", or ON PURPOSE, or because the information was worth decent money at some scandal paper like the Enquirer or Star. A lot of legitimate true stories get broken with threads coming out of the scandal rags!

My leanings cost me big-time in a divorce settlement. Just when you think you're fine, and your secret is safe, it may NOT be. For whatever reason, I wonder if an AB/DL would ever out someone else. Retarded question? What does the question/answers hope to accomplish? Don't vote. It depends upon what you've experienced and what you've been through...

Is YOUR ABDL life private enough and prized enough to NOT or EVER out anybody else? That's all the question asks. Are you secure enough in being a part of a public, internet site - where information seems to be available and stay FOREVER - to run for public office or have your proclivity known by others? Just a thought provoker, Lang...

What do you think. Brothers and Sisters?

For me, while I love my SO, and she says she accepts my fetishism, and ME, as I am, I think I might have waited longer to do the legitimate online dating thing - where I met my SO - and pursue more avenues to connect with a female DL, incon or AB. I'm happy now, and don't have to hide anything, but it might be interesting to have a willing participatory partner on a daily basis. I'll never know, and maybe I'll never regret what I HAVE right now...

Unless we are VERY lucky to connect with that special AB Daddy, Mommy or Playmate, or find that special DL Girl (or DL Guy, more rare, of course, for DL Girls), we almost all have to tell a significant other about our AB or DL life and world, or must ever hide it or keep it in a private closet (hell?). Most of us are dealing WITH the one we've told, and the results of how we handled it. For some, it went okay. For others, it didn't go well at all, and hasn't. If you knew then what you know now, if you got the chance to do it all over, to do it again, to reveal your leanings in another way, HOW would you this 2nd time?

From one MI DL to another. I'm 52, DL, str8, and live in the Muskegon area. Love to make new DL friends. Would love to get to a gathering sometime.

Yikes, does this mean that in 8 years I can FLAUNT my diaperwearing? LOL Molis and Abenas are tops unless you order Kolibri, etal., from Europe. I love my Invacares, too. But, cloth rules! AB/DLs are tops! Okay, SOME bottoms/subs.... WE rule!

IMHO, this is MY take: "I think the question you have to ask yourself, is can I live and love this person despite what they can't offer me, even if it means giving up a part of me that is VERY hard to give up." (Quote from another member - haven't figured out how to do a LOT of things at this site, LOL) I totally agree. You are young. You are pliable, so is HE. You are adaptable, so is HE. You're at a point in life where you have gotten hardened from being "in the trenches", like me, at 52. I have acceptance, but when I asked my SO to ACCOMODATE me, to diaper me, she said it was an issue of "accomEdate". She knew nothing of the AB/DL world before she met me, and she's 45. I have to go slowly. I have to lead her along. I have to show her how sensual, how erotic, how INTIMATE it would be for her to humor me, to care for me, to diaper me - I'm DL, so we're not talking baby things, which I think CAN be a real turn-off for SOs, worried about the pedophile thing - and how POSITIVELY that intimacy would end up benefitting HER. She's a psychology major, with a degree. She HAS to understand where I'm coming from. I just have to come up with a plausible explanation and encouragement, enough to intrigue, stimulate and encourage her to "take the plunge", to "take a walk on the wild side", to check it out and see how it affects her. You DO have the issue of a child. Men are simple. Try to imagine how hard it might be, regardless of what he SAYS, to separate the child baby and the ADULT baby. One is hand's off, and in no way would be stimulating, and the other is hands ON, but WANTS to be encapsulated AS the little one. Wow, might cause ME some anxiety, too. I find myself in the arena of compromise again, too. My ex even participated with me in my DL world, then used a very private and very personal situation with us against me in the divorce. I have acceptance now. I would like encouragement and participation, to the point of her wearing diapers WITH me. Not sure that will EVER happen. Am I willing to marry this woman, whom I love dearly, whom I KNOW is my soul-mate - I've been married twice, if I have to compromise what would be my ULTIMATE desires and turn-on? At this point, she's got the wedding ring. Maybe the point is moot! LOL How important ARE my ultimate desires if I can freely indulge myself and not have to hide my frequent diaper wear and use? I'm still tallying that up, 19 months into a relationship, 13 months after proposing. From this site, I think I know what her reservations are. It's funny, we encourage young guys to "sow their oats", but we expect that females are virgins on their wedding night. How the heck does our society EVER expect there to be equality in sexuality? It's no wonder guys are raging horned dogs and women are naive and virginal, and the two sexes can't come to a happy medium, especially in the bedroom. Find a woman who is "out there", progressive, open-minded, and adventurous, and who does she end up marrying? Some inhibited prude! Normally, it's the other way around. Opposites attract, but opposites end up short of where they want to be, what they expect out of a relationship, and what they END UP with in a relationship. Interesting, huh? You have to be intelligent, informed, and coy. You CAN lead your BF, the father of your child, whom you NEED to be with, to stay with, and be MARRIED to, for the sake of your child, to meeting most of your needs. You might have to make SOME compromise, but just keep the lines of communication open, don't NAG, and gently lead. Make suggestions that make him think it's HIS idea. That might get more done than you could ever dream. Good luck!