WantToLove

tcc, Thank you so much for your reply. Sometimes being depressed, I forget that I need to take care of myself first on occasion, and that being myself is not always wrong. What you said definetely makes sense, that "you cannot turn somebody into an AB or DL." I think I got the wrong impression when he was trying to tell me that he was a DL, because he didn't do a very good job of giving me the option to NOT to be a DL. He just said that he wanted me to wear diapers, he didn't say anything like, "Is this ok with you?" Over time, he explained that there was more to his fetish than just simply wearing them, and that's when I started to become uncomfortable. I think I will have a long talk with him, and see what's really most important to him. If he cannot compromise, and still wants me to do the things that are uncomfortable for me, then I understand that he is not the person for me to be with. But I am gonna try my best to make this work out somehow. I know that communication is a tough point for a lot of relationships, but the good thing is if we need help, I have a therapist that is willing to talk to us both. And I also know that he is willing to talk to her if necessary. Again, thank you for your advice, it is very comforting to know that there are really nice people out there in the world.

Hello, I am not a DL, but my boyfriend of over 4 years is, and I've known about him being a DL for almost the whole relationship. (I am a girl, btw.) I love him very much, he is an extrodinary person. But over the years I've found it harder and harder for me to do DL things with him, especially in a sexual way. Part of the reason for this is, I have had increasing IBS (irritable bowel syndrome) and I have had very serious #2 accidents in public, and I have actually had to wear diapers occasionally for this reason (I am not completely incontinent as of now). But it is very hard for me to accept that what he wants me to do to him: make him have an accident in public, or at home, and also "punish" him. It kind of hurts me that he wants to do what I suffer through. It might not have been so bad for me, but I have depression and anxiety and having accidents in public has really hurt me and my confidence. There are also other bathroom problems I have but I'm not going to go into details, just know that these problems make it harder for me to try to be a DL. I want to accept him for all that he is, because I love him. I know that this fetish is harmless and that it does not mean anyone who is a DL is a pedophile. But he keeps asking me to do these things for him, and finally we had a fight about it. Now he doesn't want to do anything sexual because he's about to move into his own apartment, where he said he can finally do all the DL stuff he wants without having to worry about being caught. I also know that when this happens he is going to expect more of me to do these things with him, and I am really scared because if I refuse these, he might get upset and assume I don't love him. I talked to my therapist about this, and she said it may be a harmless fetish, but it's not harmless if it's hurting our relationship. She gave me the name of a sex therapist and said to tell my boyfriend exactly what she said. When I told him about it, he said to keep the therapist's name, as he didn't think he needed it now, but he said he understands bad things can happen and he wants to have that option for the future if things don't work out. I think things are gonna be ok until he moves out and expects more of me. Does anyone have any advice on how I can work through this? It's very important to me because I want to have a future with him, and he has also told me he wants a future with me. I feel like I'm not accepting him and that I'm doing something wrong. He has done so many things for me, yet I can't do this for him. I feel terrible. If I am doing something wrong, or if anybody has any suggestions at all, please, please respond to this, I do not hate DL or AB people, I just cannot be one myself. And I kind of hate myself for it. I'm sorry this was a lengthy post, I am extremely grateful if anybody replies, even if just to say hi or something. Thank you for listening.