Well first, this isn't going to go away for you- almost everyone into diapers can't shake this and it comes back. So that's step one and it's yours to do; not hers- self acceptance. If she doesn't understand that, you need to get that message across to her too- though it may come and go it is here forever. As far as her participation, well that's her choice and you need to respect that. As your partner she should understand your needs and at least occasionally go out of her way to make you happy (and you should do the same).