What's The Big Deal?

[lynniehyde]

We need to organize! There is not one DL or AB that visits this site who does not realize or appreciate this fact. The problem is...(pregnant pause), DLs have a problem accepting themselves for what they are. This is also a common problem for ABs. All this rhetoric and vitriol, back and forth is cause-defeating. Serves no purpose. Save for enjoying the occasional, entertaining personal rant.

We all have basic, common desires with this scene and it's time we stop the bulls**t. What are we? A bunch of babies? (Yeth we are! YaaaY!)

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[paradox]

cause some of us just get a purely sexual gratification in diapers alone and dont want to dress up like children or have a power exchange or rollplay.

[lynniehyde]

cause some of us just get a purely sexual gratification in diapers alone and dont want to dress up like children or have a power exchange or rollplay.

So, you're saying your interest in diapers was not founded in childhood? What a ridiculous notion! Wake up! Shake yourself out of the bonds of denial.

--heidilynn

[thekid1]

I just posted this in another thread but i will post it again because i think the AB vs DL is just stupid.

I cant believe what DD has come to AB and DL fighting with each other. we all came hear to share a common interest so why should we fight wouldn't it be better to band to getter as one to make our community the strongest that is possible. how is society ever going to accept us for who we are.All there going to see is bunch of bickering baby's

[Codymoogle]

I agree.

Why must it (the AB vs DL debate) matter so much? It's to each their own, and as long as nobody's being involved in illegal activity, who really cares about the classification difference enough to bicker about it?

I'm AB. If someone called me a DL, I'd state my reasons for why I'm an AB, not a DL...BUT if someone insisted on calling me DL I wouldn't get all uptight about it.

And to the DL's (and AB's too) that get all uptight and insanely argumentative over the AB vs. DL issue:

Dare I say it? Getting uptight basically equals cranky, and bickering/whinging about it basically equals - here it is - having a temper tantrum! Kind of babyish behavior, dontcha think?

Not trying to start a flame war, just putting in my two cents and hopefully give some people something to think about.

~ C.J.

[tris]

"We might fight amongst each other, but I'll promise you this: We'll burn this b*tch, get us pissed. . " It's like living and dying in LA.

I think many of the ABDLs tend to be Drama Queens (I am!) and so the whole, "The world won't accept me as I am, what ever will I do?" mindset affects alot of our interaction in a speakeasy forum like this. I've come to recognize something about myself when it comes to other ABs -- I don't care for 'em. I like feeling special and 'one of a kind'. Introspectively, I sometimes think I made the decision to be an AB purely because I'd lost that feeling of 'special' I had throughout much of my childhood. I still feel like I live everyday just to get it back.

I try not to fight people around here because most of you gang up on me when you refuse to see things as I present them. (I play The Devil's Advocate on a fairly regular basis) Once again, a reminder that the world isn't ready for Tristan yet.

Topically, I'd say that the posts we see about people and their lack of self-acceptance are by those who just need to vent; they're probably pretty cool with themselves, but on that particular day, they're not feeling so comfortable in their own skin -- something I suffer from at least twice a week, so I know where they coming from, but that's just me.

[pctrasher]

I have to agree with C.J. up there. I see myself as an AB and I really won't get ticked off if I get called a DL since I do infact like diapers. But DL just explains a small portion of who I am, AB explains more. I say we just accept it as AB/DL under one term, you either are part of one or apart of the other or very much of both. Honestly I don't see what this fighting is all about since there really isn't anything to fight about. I just think people are trying to start something to make their time more interesting. I don't want to force calling someone who is DL an AB or 'baby' or anything, but the fact that babies wear diapers does give a connection from DL to 'baby' or AB. Like I said, the AB/DL classification under unification should suffice for our needs as a whole. (Lot of big words for a baby wouldn't you say?) lol.

[Nat]

I'm an AB and a DL. I am proud what I am. I am not ashamed of it because there is nothing wrong with liking diapers and wanting to be a baby off and on.

[enfant]

The fuss between people who self-identify as AB, AB/DL, sissy, or whatever, and those who loudly insist on identifying purely as DL, reminds me very closely of the animosity within the gay community over the use of the term "straight-acting". People who get into a big snit because they don't want to associate or be associated with AB's are the "straight-acting gays" of the infantilist community.

I disliked the terms "AB" and "DL" from the very first time I heard them used, back in the mid-90s. I've always preferred the term "infantilist" because it includes the whole spectrum of people who engage in infantile behaviors for fun (and, yes, wearing and using a diaper is an infantile behavior, even if you aren't sucking your thumb at the same time). We're all infantilists. Some of us wear diapers full-time, some wear part-time, some don't wear at all; some wear other babyish or childish clothes and some don't; some use baby bottles and some don't; some talk baby talk and engage in role-play and some don't... there are lots and lots of variations, but we're all on the same spectrum, and there are far more things that unite us than divide us.

But some people do love division, don't they? People who want to build up walls between their own little subgroup and the rest of the group, to have their own private space where they can talk about their diapers without having to mix with the filthy pree-verts who who also like role-play, are taking offense where none was offered, and giving offense where none was asked.

You can't say "I'm a DL and I don't want to talk to AB's" without simultaneously saying "I'm a DL and that makes me better than an AB." So no one who says that should be surprised when it ticks a few people off.

[D_Rainger]

Friends,

I'm sure Diaper Lovers don't want to secede from the Union. This isn't going to create a Civil War. It could be viewed this way: Adult Babies generally use diapers in their play. So, they could be classified as AB/DL. The converse isn't true. Diaper Lovers use diapers in their play, but that play doesn't generally include playing as babies. In fact, the baby part is sometimes a turn-off. So to be classified as AB/DL simply isn't true for a Diaper Lover.

Diaper Lovers needed and deserved a corner of their own. Now they have it, let's get on with life.

I love you all,

-D R

[enfant]

I was a little cranky when I wrote the above, so let me clarify something--I really don't have any problem with people who identify as DL. What I have a problem with is people who identify as DL and act nasty toward AB's... for instance, saying they want a DL-only chat room because baby talk disgusts them.

And I personally don't care for the "AB" and "DL" terminology because it encourages such people--it leads us to define ourselves by our differences instead of our similarities, and it's a short step from there to I'm-better-than-you-ism. But I don't mean to seem as if I'm attacking people who do use those terms; like it or not, that's the language most of us do use. But I wish we as a community had chosen terminology that was more inclusive.

[lynniehyde]

But, I wish we as a community had chosen terminology that was more inclusive.

I don't think the acronym "ABDL" was chosen by the community. It was probably coined by Tommy of DPF. Or, someone in his circle. Tommy is and will always be, remembered as the father of the ABDL "scene". At least, in terms of spreading the word out to the worldwide web. Vision, knowledge, courage. A labor of love, to be sure. His business practices can be faulted. But his dream and his impact on all of us, cannot be discredited. Unfortunately, the acronym "ABDL" is one we will all have to live with. ABs and DLs alike. It's on the board, tough to take the points off it now. But let's not get caught up in negativity here. We are a community. We all have similar interests.

As for me, I prefer to think of myself as an Advanced Baby (AB). This is a name being "advanced" by Kathi Stringer. I am not an adult. I am a baby. I have learned how to cope in an adult world, that's all. We all have to make adjustments, don't we?

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[Topguy]

Why is it so hard for you abs to accept that dls grew up? Get over YOUR denial.

I DESPISE small children, why would I want to act like one?

Some of us just have a fetish for an OBJECT we find sexually gratifying, it has nothing to do with regression.

[enfant]

Why is it so hard for you abs to accept that dls grew up?

See, this, right here, is why I find your attitude annoying.

AB's grew up too. That's why the A is there: stands for "adult".

The difference between you and me is that you like diapers, while I like diapers and some other stuff, too. This is no more significant than the difference between chocolate chip cookies and chocolate chip cookies with walnuts. You're the one who makes a big deal out of it, talking about how much you "despise" us and what we do, as if you weren't just as chocolatey as any other cookie in the forum.

And then you act as if this makes you the mature one! If being grown up is so important to you, dude... grow up already.

[Guest Baby Peter]

I say to each his/her own.

I dont like being dutch, but they call me dutch anyways.. ah well, can happen.. nothing bad since its just a word.

aslong as you know for yourself how you feel and think that should suffice.

I can understand that some DL dont like being placed under the same group as AB, but im wondering in how far it would really matter in the end. people are how they are and should be respected always regardless of any label hung on them towards the outside world.

*grouphugs* now lets all have fun in our nappies~! we all have that in common =D

[Topguy]

"You like other stuff too"

That's a bit like saying "You like girls-but I like guys too"

So because another person has a different prefference-I'm also BI because I like girls?

Can you see how silly it is to try and lump people by unreaslitic distinctions like that?

That's what gets to me-again-the narrow mindedness that insists that everyone has to be the same-I see it as a form of bigotry.

[Eric D]

For my part on that matter I would classify as "your classic DL"... if I like the term? hell, there would be more fitting descriptions, but frankly - I couldn't care less. Fact remains that I like to wear, and for that matter, use (unly urinate) them as well. I have had this desire for over two decades of my life now, which considering me being 27 is quite some time.

if I'm at ease with this, hell no. I'm not. still after so many years I seem to have a hard time accepting that part of me, due to my upbringing and various other things in my life.

however, not once had I the desire to be babied or to baby someone. I would not want to be put in a crib, I wouldn't like to have a "mommy or daddy" changing my diapers... actually thinking of it I would get quite freaked in such a situation. It's a fetish and a comfort thing for me... I feel quite more comfortable in diapers, relaxed to say so, but have no need for any bit of regression play or so.

Does it disgust me? no, not at all.

When it comes to personal things like this, I am a firm believer in the concept, that if adults involve into something sexually or "private" , alone or with a partner it is their own choice and their right to do so, as long as all persons involved are OK with it, do so out of their own FREE WILL and are adults (or "old enough" at least).

I like a few things like playing around with BDSM related stuff once in a while... some people may find this absolutely kinky, out of question, perverted... some people like to switch off all lights in their bedroom, cover themselves with their sheets when having *sex* with their partner, and when done, for sure not mention it at all... I find this to be rather odd... but as mentioned I believe everyone is "on his / hers own" with these decisions.

AB DL ... whilst I can not / don't want to realate with the AB Stuff and can only "understand" it from a psychological point of few there are still "common things" between DLs and ABs & ABDLs...

I relly don't see a reason to create a "rift" in between of the "groups".

for me, I sometimes wish some ABs had a bit more "tollerance" when it came to a few comments on different boards, as I find there are those who think that they are "IT" and everyone else has to conform... on the other thing the same could be said about a few DLs... I guess in the end it's a human thing after all.

I believe what one does with his own life is strictly his / hers business... however when doing "outings" and such stuff naturally others are affected. For me for one, it is fine to sometimes go out wearing my nappy (usually a thinner one such as a Tena Slip PLUS or Molicare Premium... sometimes a TENA Slip Super or a Super Pull-Up) under chosen every-day clothe... I try to "hide" my diapers then the best as I can, just as I figure most incontinent people would do... I mean after all I don't get a kick out of other people "knowing or seeing" and if I would I don't think I'd find it good to practically "abuse" other people by having them notice my nappies so that I could get a kick out of it...

Respect others, and you might find that respect is being shown towards you.

[enfant]

No, no. I'm not saying we're exactly the same; I'm saying we're the same in the way that matters.

If you want to use a "gay" analogy, then let's go back to the one I used earlier: the so-called "straight-acting" gay. Imagine there are two gay men. One of them is really flamboyant, dresses in drag, goes to parades, talks with a lisp, whatever. The other one isn't into any of that; he just likes having sex with men. Now, this would be no problem, except the second one keeps going on and on about how the first one disgusts him, and insists he only wants to associate with other "straight acting" gays like himself. And the first one keeps getting pissed off at him and saying "For crying out loud... YOU'RE GAY!"

For crying out loud, Topguy, you're a diaper fetishist. It doesn't matter one bit to me whether you're into regression or not; just stop acting like you're better than me. Because we are all perverts on this bus. Okay?

[Topguy]

I never made a distinction in what I like as far as diapers.

But can we just say "we share a fetish for diapers"

Instead of stupid stuff like "everyone into diapers wants to act like a baby"?

Because that is what is being objected to.

I"M NOT A FREAKING BABY.

[Eric D]

I never made a distinction in what I like as far as diapers.

But can we just say "we share a fetish for diapers"

Instead of stupid stuff like "everyone into diapers wants to act like a baby"?

Because that is what is being objected to.

I"M NOT A FREAKING BABY.

Yeah, I can relate with that to some extend... I often get the feel, especially by the more "mainstream" sites and media that there is a general opinion out there that everyone into diapers is actually wanting to be babied or so...

I'm not.

I don't mind if others are, but hell, for sure it's not my type of thing.

and yet whilst I fail to see what people like about being babied I guess "outsiders" to any fetish actually think the same if I would tell them that I have a diaper fetish (man must that sound weird to someone "outside" of this...).

I mean honestly, how could most people be expected to find it nice, cool, comfortable, relaxing and sexually arousing to sit in a wet soaked diaper or a dry one for what it's worth?

Still I sometimes get annoyed that the mainstream when "they" get into contact with Diaper-stuff automatically think "baby"...

especially considering that incontinent people have to deal with that stigma of being "in a thing only babies wear"...

[Topguy]

We all have basic, common desires with this scene and it's time we stop the bulls**t. What are we? A bunch of babies? (Yeth we are! YaaaY!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

How is this NOT a stereotyping statement?

[lynniehyde]

"We're all infantilists. Some of us wear diapers full-time, some wear part-time, some don't wear at all; some wear other babyish or childish clothes and some don't; some use baby bottles and some don't; some talk baby talk and engage in role-play and some don't... there are lots and lots of variations, but we're all on the same spectrum, and there are far more things that unite us than divide us."

Whatever pigeon-holed label the mental health "pros", religious rightists, slugs and ignorant bigots want to stamp us with, the fact is, we are a very diverse community. Infantilist, Diaper Lover, AB, DL, whatever. Those folks don't have a clue as to what they're dealing with. Sometimes I wonder if we do. There is no doubt that the attraction to diapers is something ABs and DLs share alike. There is a large "grey area" between what defines an AB or DL. That should be something we should build on. Not beat down with senseless in-fighting.

You are right on the mark Enfant!

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[diaprbayb]

I see that as a statement against the arguing not wearing diapers.

Hey I do agree with your wants, what I want to se stop is blaming the AB's because there are more of us and we are comfy enough to have fun with it.

If you have "grownup" , ignore our games.

[Topguy]

Whatever pigeon-holed label the mental health "pros", religious rightists, slugs and ignorant bigots want to stamp us with, the fact is, we are a very diverse community. Infantilist, Diaper Lover, AB, DL, whatever. Those folks don't have a clue as to what they're dealing with. Sometimes I wonder if we do. There is no doubt that the attraction to diapers is something ABs and DLs share alike. There is a large "grey area" between what defines an AB or DL. That should be something we should build on. Not beat down with senseless in-fighting.

You are right on the mark Enfant!

Cuddles,

--heidilynn ;

Definition of infantilism

Definitions of Infantilism on the Web: http://www.google.com/search?hl=EN&saf...on&ct=title

A state of arrested development in an adult, characterized by retention of infantile mentality, accompanied by stunted growth and sexual ...

www.antiquusmorbus.com/English/EnglishI.htm

A person who has an infantilism fetish has almost always started puberty. This fetish continues on for some people for the rest of their lives. It normally involves wearing diapers, using pacifiers, drinking from baby bottles with nipples, and similar accessories. ...

www.im-big-daddy.com/frame/body/glossary.html

an abnormal condition in which an older child or adult retains infantile characteristics

infantile behavior in mature persons

wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

I'd hardly call sharing one attribute of that "inclusive" of the entire fixation.

[Topguy]

I see that as a statement against the arguing not wearing diapers.

Hey I do agree with your wants, what I want to se stop is blaming the AB's because there are more of us and we are comfy enough to have fun with it.

If you have "grownup" , ignore our games.

Ok then. You aren't a baby-because I have a dl fetish-and I say you are just like me. From now on, you will just have to put up with it or ignore me.