Change In Tendencies

[whiterabbit1023]

Hey everybody, this is my first post here, but have been a long time visitor. I have been a DL for a few years now, and always thought the sissy and AB stuff to be kind of silly. Lately i have met a beautiful girl, who i confessed all my secrets to, and she welcomed it with open arms!! Sadly, she was in a car accident while working in Europe, and its stuck in a hospital for a while; so we havent been able to act on our desires....We have talked it out a lot though, and she has even gone as far as to try it out (I'm soo lucky). But an odd phenomena happened since i met her; my DL tendencies have switched to mostly AB, and even a little sissy, with her playing the role of baby sitter. Sorry for the back story, but it leads me to my question. Has anyone else had a change in tendencies do to starting a relationship with someone?

PS: I am very, in the closet with the AB/DL scene and will be asking a few other questions later, and possibly sharing some of our adventures....if sitter says that is ok, shes the boss.

[beallucanb]

You were probabably a sissy from the start, you just didn't recognise it, now that you know about it I hope you will let your sissy side out to have some fun....I love being a sissy, but I hid it inside and now it's kinda to late to find anyone to interact with, but you have someone, so don't let this opertunity get away without testing to see if that is truly who you are.

I hope she is with you soon,,,,B

[diapermommie]

I was always an AB but never much got into diapers, just a few occassions, I was too chicken. My bf was always DL, some sidesteps into the ab part of things. Neither of us knew about the others ab/dl sides until we'd been dating for 18 months. When we first talked, he told me about his dl side first. Said he was never really into the ab stuff, had gotten a paci on occassion but tossed it. I was the opposite, didn't do diapers, wasn't sure if I was going to try it or not.

He came with me bottle shopping, got his own stuff. So now he's definitely ab just heavier on dl than me. And I'm definitely dl just heavier on the ab side. Got an adorable picture of him the other morning with his glow worm and his firefly paci. Priceless!

But it sorta happened to both of us. I think because like someone else said it was probably always there but once you have someone you trust that you can talk about that stuff with, why not go for anything you wanted to try? It's less weird when you have a partner, you don't have to worry about what they think and it's easier to accept your self too. You don't go thru the "WTF am I doing" stages of throwing everything out and crawling back to it. It's always there, and life is always warm and happy!!

[pctrasher]

Yea, kind of the same here. I've been DL all my life with minor AB tendencies when I was a bit younger (6-8 years old) but then it turned into a want for diapers only and I've been only into diapers up until a few months ago when I read a story online (about the size of a novel, took me 5 hours to read it) http://www.abdlforums.com/viewtopic.php?t=1269 is the site for it.

Anyway, after I read it it kind of showed me how much of the 'whole scene' I'm actually missing. So I went to target with my G/F and we bought a pair of pacifiers, a bottle and 2 stuffed cats. Then I bought some baby powder and when we got home, I told her that it would be cute for her to act like a baby or 'little one' and she did and it was awesome. Between the diapers and the AB side, she was more into the AB side as she has a moderately childish personality to begin with and thus the desires to go with it. So she was mainly the Ab and since we're both against the whole 'significant other being the corrosponding parent' thing...or well she is and thinks I am eventhough I'd be willing to call her mommy. She just finds going that far as wierd. But anyway, I just recently became a lot more AB in the way I act around her in our private time and at first ME being the little one with her as the dominent person wierded her out a little, but she got over it and as long as she can be the little one too occasionally we're happier than ever. Basically the way I see it is. "Why miss out on so much if you don't have to. You're sitting in a diaper, you might as well act the part too, it's a whole lot more fun."

Oh, and I didn't mention it, but at first I thought that the concept of ABs were wierd. But after that story, it completely switched my thoughts and I got past that 'brick wall' of thought, mainly because the main character went though the same part I guess.

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Yep! Although I am primarily a DL, my fiance relates more to my AB and Sissy side. She finds both AB and Sissy to be very erotic, and so do I. As a result, and since joining this site, my interests in AB and Sissy have definitely increased. Without her support and encouragement, I doubt that my interests would have changed.

[pctrasher]

Another point to add is exactly how different people experience Dl/Ab. You can view the DL side as relaxing/liberating or erotic and sexual. And you can view the AB side as entertaining, relaxing, and can make you forget about the real world, or it could again be errotic and sexual just like with the DL side. And there's even sub portions to that where most of us find different actions more sexual or pleasing while others are very adament about even thinking about it, eg: defication.

[Topguy]

I went the other way. From a Dl to being a Dominant. But I always liked having women in diapers by me. Not into having a woman do it to me.

[boy ricky]

Another point to add is exactly how different people experience Dl/Ab. You can view the DL side as relaxing/liberating or erotic and sexual. And you can view the AB side as entertaining, relaxing, and can make you forget about the real world, or it could again be erotic and sexual just like with the DL side. And there's even sub portions to that where most of us find different actions more sexual or pleasing while others are very adamant about even thinking about it, eg: defication.

You are right in my opinion. I started out as a DL. I loved the feel and it came from liking watersports and wetting my pants.

When I first saw AB side of things i wasn't going there. It seemed a little silly to me. Now I have always enjoyed ageplay and my partner (He passed away in 2002) use to get into it. he would have me dress in boys clothes and wouldn't let me use the bathroom. He knew i liked wet pants so i just had to hold it. I sure wish he had thought of diapers back then. He did other things like make me a Fun lunch to take to work. it was often the stuff you get in a kids school lunch. It was lots of fun and people at work were often envious.

The ground work "so too speak" was laid for the AB stuff even if i did not see it. I liked being treated as a boy and i liked wetting my pants, it almost always lead to sex in the end.

So when i went full time into diapers i was a DL in my mind. Soon however people told me waht a cute baby i was and i fell into the AB world unsuspectingly. I love the whole ab thing and as some of you will know from my postings or my blog i spend a great deal of time as an ab. I still enjoy the DL and sexual aspect of diapers with people other than my partner (Daddy). I am total ab with him.

[Pipsqueak]

I also started out as a DL - although, when I think about it, I was probably always an AB, but the concept was just too scary to admit to myself. Those of us who grew up before the internet became a mainstream part of life, had no idea that so many other people in the world had these desires too. I remember being seven years old, fashioning my own diapers in secret and rebeling against these "shameful" desires by forcing myself to be more mature and grown-up in my everyday life than I should've been at that age. There was always that "I shouldn't want these babyish things" thought swirling around in my head, so to make sure no one caught on to them, I went completely the other way. By the time I was grown up and I first started exploring the internet, I found the AB's frightening, almost creepy in fact. There was no way I could ever associate myself with them. I was convinced I was a DL only. But that wasn't really true. It was only after a fair bit of time and reading more and more and understanding more that I was able to allow myself to see that I was in fact an AB and had always been one. We are conditioned from a very young age to shun anything babyish. You're ridiculed if you act babyish. The worst thing your peers can taunt you with is "you're such a baby!" It's no wonder many of us have trouble reaching a point where we can allow ourselves to accept these desires.

And no, not all DL's are AB's in hiding. But there are many who write about their pacifiers and stuffed bears and blankies while vehemently declaring "BUT I'M NOT AN AB!!!!" I would venture to say that a good portion of us fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum, a bit of this, a bit of that. Obviously there are always people at the very end points of the spectrum as well - totally DL or totally AB, but for many of us, we enjoy all the shades of grey in between.

So in other words ... don't worry too much about it. Just enjoy all the new flavours on top of the ones you already like!

[enfant]

I can relate to some of that, Pipsqueak. I remember going through a phase of thinking it was creepy and scary to want to "be a baby", and preferred just wearing diapers, like an incontinent adult. I think I probably was reacting to the idea that it would creepy for my wife, because if I'm a baby, then she's a pedophile. But as we stayed together and both became more comfortable with the role of infantilism in our lives, I felt more comfortable with regression, too.

Most people who use the terms AB and DL would see me as mostly-DL, because most of the time diapers is all I do. For me, neither term really fits, but I choose to call myself an AB when I have to pick one or the other, because "DL" is a rejecting term. It says "I like this, but I don't like that, that, or that..." Calling myself an AB feels much more accepting--sure, most of the time I only wear diapers and don't bother with more elaborate regression or babyish roleplay... but I'm not ruling it out.

[jenniebear]

Ditto what Pipsqueak said....only for me.........being an AB means identifying with an age that is totally dependent, totally helpless and vulnerable.........that is too far for me............so i consider myself basically a very precocious, independent, (actually a bit dominant but don't tell Daddy,) 4 year old with some

serious potty training issues (which are of course just a way for my dominant characteristics to show themselves)..... i'm not into the very babish accessories but actually sleep every night with a stuffed giraffe and can't sleep without it....so i'm sure many would classify that as an "AB" trait.......diaper wearing in itself though was, is and will continue to be a sexual fetish for me and is also another reason i don't wear diapers very regularly...i find when i wear often...the sexual aspect sort of diminishes.......and that's not what i want

The AB/DL lifestyle also lead me to the D/s lifestyle...it's a natural state for me.....and with a Master/Daddy..........i have the best of all worlds....

jennie, a slave babygirl

[spikedlemon]

I see being a DL as an extension of liking watersports...

[skylight43]

This is a good topic. I started out just enjoying the feeling of wetting my pants ... mostly my underpants. All of my wetting was on purpose in underpants or pajamas or jeans. In my 20s and 30s, I was more of a DL with a little bit of AB stuff like plastic pants. Now, I'm a little bit of both but sometimes very heavy on the AB side enjoying the aspects of control, punishment, humiliation, being "treated as a big baby" if I "act like one". And then there are some nights, like tonight, when I wear simply for convenience as a DL. I was playing some video games and it was nice not to have to get up every thirty minutes to pee. I just kept playing and wetting. As I get older, the convenience aspect is great and I feel more comfortable wearing under my jeans to the store or on errands just because it is more convenient to wet my pants than look for a bathroom.

[diapeygirluk]

I was playing some video games and it was nice not to have to get up every thirty minutes to pee. I just kept playing and wetting.

Definitely useful, I have done this myself I thnk I would like to explore the AB aspect more in the future but it did only start as a diaper fetish.

[tenderheart]

I switch back and forth. Sometimes I want to have a Binky, a bottle, and watch cartoons (TMNT, Rockos modern life, Rugrats etc etc). But other times it's just nice to have a diaper on without the AB side to it. So yeah it generally goes in phases for me.

[BabyLex]

For myself, I've always role playing as a baby. The idea of mixing my adult life and sexuality into diaper play would be as strange as trying to explain what such things were to a two year old. ("And now I'm going to wear diapers while balancing the checkbook, see?" or "I'm now going to touch this person in a very 'loving' way"). It's just not something youth and innocence can comprehend (at least at the ages I enjoy regressing to). Perhaps that's more of the definition of 'pure AB' versus 'mostly AB' with occasional tendencies to straddle the fence between AB and DL.

I remember the early days of the internet in BBS and IRC days and finding early online communities. Much as pipsqueak said, they mostly freaked me out. The entire mix of everyone and anyone who liked diapers was assuming that their specific interests were the ones everyone else enjoyed as well, which wasn't true for me or anyone else. As internet technology (but not necessarily its user base) matured, and community networking sites became more approachable it allowed more and more individuals to find each other. I think the past ten years has been instrumental in the development of true communities within the AB/DL world to find what they're looking for. In addition the ability to find one's own sub-community has been fantastic for helping people realize they are not alone.

In closing, we all change (pun intended ;-)). You are not the person you were ten years ago, nor the person you'll be ten years from now. Be adventerous, try new things, if you enjoy them and they're not detracting from any other aspects of your life or the lives of those you care about, keep them around and make them a part of you. Continue to grow, to learn about yourself and the universe around you. Be experimental and playful.

--Lex

[Topguy]

Well said lex. But at the same time-while we should try to understand what various parts of our community get out of diaper fetishes-we should also understand that there are large differences in how it is used.

And not insist that everyone else with only marginal commonalities, MUST do things exactly in the same manner as those which fit our particular comfort zones. Which is why I happen to support different sections for different sub groups to communicate with each other. If you really aren't into something-you should not have to be subjected to having your nose rubbed in it-it's more respectful.

If one does not like something-just don't go there. It's not that hard to do.

[BabyLex]

TopGuy,

<smiles> I completely agree. I posted that right before running out the door to take a final exam (my very last physics class ever, w00 h00!) and thus was a little distracted and didn't phrase things are precisely as I would have liked. Thank you for elaborating on, and thus smoothing, the crude edges of that post. ;-)

I never meant to promote an attitude of isolationism based on one's particular interest, and many -do- discover their true leanings through experimentation and exposure to the variety of sub-communities within the larger AB/DL realm. And while one's main interest today might be quite specific exposure to other people's lifestyles and interests may spark intrigue which could become one's future passion. ;-)

Although while exploration and exposure to different aspects of the larger community is important for both personal and community awareness purposes, an introspective individual will observe and analyze what's out there and develop and find their own lifestyle. And in doing so, grows and expands what the community is and can become.

You hit on a key point regarding the attitude of "if you don't like it, just don't go there". The 'live and let live' mentality is one that becomes increasingly important to those of us who live in glass houses. Our particular interest doesn't (yet) mesh with most mainstream cultures, and thus we (diaper wearers) are at the fringe end of the fabric of society. Since the fringe lies on the edge, we really don't have anywhere else go, save to conform to social norms, and try to repress who we are to 'fit in'. Given the psychological challenges associated with living dual lives, the greater AB/DL community can serve as a resource as we most of us probably have more in common than differences.

So let's take a step back for a moment, and think about AB/DLs and from the perspective of the rest of the world. Most adults (a very large majority) don't wear diapers. And when trying to explain a diaper interest to a common passerby would likely merit a response akin to "I would never want to do that!". <shrugs> More often than not people are quick to hear about someone's interest and make a (snap?) judgement about their own interest in participating. Given that we're not 'recruiting' or trying to evangelize the masses into diaper wearing (well, I haven't met anyone who is, but that isn't to say they aren't out there... ;-)) we're essentially asking others to accept us for who we are, recognize we're not harming anyone, and for them to adopt a 'live and let live' mentality while celebrating the fact that world is a little more diverse (weird? odd? more interesting?) than they originally thought.

Now let's narrow our focus from the whole world to just those of us who wear diapers. We all wear for a variety of different reasons, some for medical, some for sexual, some of personal, etc, but we all have our own reasons for doing so. We're likely less than 1% of the adults in the world, which means we have something unique in common. Kind of neat.

Again, let's zoom in a little more on focus group. We went from the whole world, to those who wear diapers, now we're starting to zoom on the exact reason/interest/fetish we have with those. This is where the groups start to diverge a little. This is where we start dividing medically incontinent individuals from ABs from DLs, from diaper fetishists, from BDSM, from those with extended interest in water sports (and/or scat), from furries, from everyone else. We all have diapers in common but now we start honing in on more specific pieces of lifestyle and information.

Sadly, it's often too easy for people to become obsessed with people who are exactly like them, and shut out everyone else. This happens conversationally, culturally, and in several other ways in many communities outside the AB/DL one. One of the things I do like about the current evolution of the AB/DL world is that, compared to many other fringe communities, its quite cooperative, kind, and open minded. This is an important quality to remember and celebrate about ourselves. ;-)

In essence, the tendency to swap between interests, to add them, or lose interest in particular kinds of play is often a natural reflection of oneself and who they are at that point in time. Entirely separate from anyone else's experience, my own anecdotal experience has been that my interests in diapers haven't changed over the years. I knew early on that being an AB was my thing. As to my other interests and hobbies? They've changed dramatically over the years. I could extrapolate that we all have something stable and reliable, perhaps our jobs, relationships, hobbies, methods of relaxation, sports, etc and we allow other things to change around it. Perhaps over time my interest in diapers will morph into other things, but at this point I found, for myself, what I like, and I wish the same for everyone else. The only real important thing is that -you- enjoy it and respect that fact that others derive their own pleasures from their relationship with diapers.

Anyways, just another long and rambling post by:

--Lex

[lynniehyde]

TopGuy,

<smiles> I completely agree. I posted that right before running out the door to take a final exam (my very last physics class ever, w00 h00!) and thus was a little distracted and didn't phrase things are precisely as I would have liked. Thank you for elaborating on, and thus smoothing, the crude edges of that post. ;-)

I never meant to promote an attitude of isolationism based on one's particular interest, and many -do- discover their true leanings through experimentation and exposure to the variety of sub-communities within the larger AB/DL realm. And while one's main interest today might be quite specific exposure to other people's lifestyles and interests may spark intrigue which could become one's future passion. ;-)

Although while exploration and exposure to different aspects of the larger community is important for both personal and community awareness purposes, an introspective individual will observe and analyze what's out there and develop and find their own lifestyle. And in doing so, grows and expands what the community is and can become.

You hit on a key point regarding the attitude of "if you don't like it, just don't go there". The 'live and let live' mentality is one that becomes increasingly important to those of us who live in glass houses. Our particular interest doesn't (yet) mesh with most mainstream cultures, and thus we (diaper wearers) are at the fringe end of the fabric of society. Since the fringe lies on the edge, we really don't have anywhere else go, save to conform to social norms, and try to repress who we are to 'fit in'. Given the psychological challenges associated with living dual lives, the greater AB/DL community can serve as a resource as we most of us probably have more in common than differences.

So let's take a step back for a moment, and think about AB/DLs and from the perspective of the rest of the world. Most adults (a very large majority) don't wear diapers. And when trying to explain a diaper interest to a common passerby would likely merit a response akin to "I would never want to do that!". <shrugs> More often than not people are quick to hear about someone's interest and make a (snap?) judgement about their own interest in participating. Given that we're not 'recruiting' or trying to evangelize the masses into diaper wearing (well, I haven't met anyone who is, but that isn't to say they aren't out there... ;-)) we're essentially asking others to accept us for who we are, recognize we're not harming anyone, and for them to adopt a 'live and let live' mentality while celebrating the fact that world is a little more diverse (weird? odd? more interesting?) than they originally thought.

Now let's narrow our focus from the whole world to just those of us who wear diapers. We all wear for a variety of different reasons, some for medical, some for sexual, some of personal, etc, but we all have our own reasons for doing so. We're likely less than 1% of the adults in the world, which means we have something unique in common. Kind of neat.

Again, let's zoom in a little more on focus group. We went from the whole world, to those who wear diapers, now we're starting to zoom on the exact reason/interest/fetish we have with those. This is where the groups start to diverge a little. This is where we start dividing medically incontinent individuals from ABs from DLs, from diaper fetishists, from BDSM, from those with extended interest in water sports (and/or scat), from furries, from everyone else. We all have diapers in common but now we start honing in on more specific pieces of lifestyle and information.

Sadly, it's often too easy for people to become obsessed with people who are exactly like them, and shut out everyone else. This happens conversationally, culturally, and in several other ways in many communities outside the AB/DL one. One of the things I do like about the current evolution of the AB/DL world is that, compared to many other fringe communities, its quite cooperative, kind, and open minded. This is an important quality to remember and celebrate about ourselves. ;-)

In essence, the tendency to swap between interests, to add them, or lose interest in particular kinds of play is often a natural reflection of oneself and who they are at that point in time. Entirely separate from anyone else's experience, my own anecdotal experience has been that my interests in diapers haven't changed over the years. I knew early on that being an AB was my thing. As to my other interests and hobbies? They've changed dramatically over the years. I could extrapolate that we all have something stable and reliable, perhaps our jobs, relationships, hobbies, methods of relaxation, sports, etc and we allow other things to change around it. Perhaps over time my interest in diapers will morph into other things, but at this point I found, for myself, what I like, and I wish the same for everyone else. The only real important thing is that -you- enjoy it and respect that fact that others derive their own pleasures from their relationship with diapers.

Anyways, just another long and rambling post by:

--Lex

Now we're getting someplace!

Cuddles,

--heidilynn

[DIAPERPHANTOM]

Ramble all you want, Lex...good reading!