Prayers for Forgiveness Requested

[LilRugrat]

This is a warning that this post can be EXTREMELY TRIGGERING. I am going to be blunt as possible, please know i have broken down and cried many times.

I have ALOT of sexual abuse trauma growing up and you guessed it, diapers were the center stage even as a teenager. I was in foster care and got sent back home after he was found not guilty. He was found not guilty because my family (who all know about my abdl side since the age of 16) made me the crazy one. Theres so much more that i could say but i will save you all the details. 

I have been 24/7 for a little while.....I have zero knowlege of when i need to pee until i am going. I am also fecally incon, but not in the typical way. I have had a rectal-vaginal fistula since the second of four major vaginal reconstruction surgeies i have had in my life at the age of 16. Turns out when you have 2 autoimmune disorders, and stool continuously in places it shouldnt be, even with continuously using medical soaps, wipes and staying on top of it, it can lead to serious problems. 

I dont want to sugar coat this.  I need a colostomy bag. My kidneys are in my abdomen and between that and my autoimmune disorders and weight this is very high risk. To the point that my wife, @FretaBWetand I are talking about what i want if I dont survive. 

I am trying eveything in my power to go into this surgery of putting in a colostomy bag with postive energy...i have amped up my therapy and praying. I am asking that the prayer request i made earlier be changed to specifically help me find forgiveness for my adopted dad (I struggle because he hurt 3 of us and is on his next 2) and my mom (i struggle because she cant even admit she did anything wrong). 

God is good and faith is real. I belive in my heart of hearts that God has a plan for me be it my plan to continue to use my voice for those being silenced after surgery or to use my body to help others (o- blood type organ donor). I trust him in this surgery. I need help finding the forgiveness for my adopted dad and mom. 

I love this site with all my heart. You are all my family. And i hope every interaction with me has been great and i look forward to many more. 

God bless, 

LilRugrat ❤️ 

[Krysty]

Sis you know me and my wife love you and we'll do ANYTHING we can to help you through this, you are loved remember that... forgiveness is a hard thing to ask for while I've not been on the recieving end of sexual abuse I have been abused by doctors, twice almost killing myself because of it including last december... God will get you through just trust in Him

 

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philipians 4:6-7

 

you have me and my wife on discord if you ever need to talk or need prayer or an encouraging word.. we'll get through this together I love you

[LilRugrat]

Thank you sis!!! I dont know how what i would be doing without you and your wife!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰

[LilRugrat]

Update for my friends: @~Brian~ @DiaperboyEddie12 @Little Sherri @diaperedcouple @sillybaby123 @Kurrthemuttboy @DL-Ash @dl-bishop @Stevie2 @babyjoey0514 @AngusMac @snobak and the many more i am forgetting....

[babyjoey0514]

Ill keep you in my prayers.

 

I too had to forgive my abuser, I pray for her.

 

You may pm me to discuss further if you wish. 

 

Joey

[Little Sherri]

@LilRugrat, thinking about you right now! I'm sorry that you are going through this, but there is light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not a train. I have a family member who has a fistula, and a family member who had a colostomy, and had it reversed years later - you can get through this, it doesn't change who you are, it will just change how you live - for the better, God willing. PM me anytime if you want to talk about it. It's just like diapers, in a way - some view them as a curse, some view them as a tool to take control of their lives. 

As to you forgiving your abuser, that is something you do for yourself, more than anything else. Anger, rage, hatred - these things can turn you to stone inside, or become cancerous. I know a little about this - not nearly to the level you've experienced, but I am looking after the alcoholic stepfather who abused me physically and emotionally as a kid, and who humiliated me in front of my family, yelling and waving one of my homemade diapers around, when I was 13 years old. I hated him for 20 years, but I realized I was only punishing myself, he didn't care, and it was preventing me from having a relationship with my mother. I put it behind me, and I am better off for it. Forgiving isn't the same as forgetting; forgiving is something you do for yourself, because you deserve to live in peace, and he shouldn't have any more power over you - the power becomes yours. You have been through so much; you deserve to enjoy your life, and the people you have around you who care about you and lift you up. Look after yourself, and reach out any time. 

[DiaperboyEddie12]

@LilRugrat And @FretaBWet My prayers are with you and the family.

I pray that god puts his hand on your shoulder and gives you the strength to heal you.

 

 

[LilRugrat]

@DiaperboyEddie12 @Little Sherri Thank you both for the kind words. 

[AngusMac]

I'm not religious, but I'm sending you all the good Karma and positive vibes I have.

[LilRugrat]

That is 100% understandable. I just wanted all my friends to know what was going on and this seemed to fit me best. Good Karma and postive vibes always are enough! 

❤️❤️

[tuffy]

I wish you all the best @LilRugrat I'll have you in my thoughts for the best outcome. 

[Eliza1993]

Praying for you and your family! I will make sure to dedicate a special prayer for you and your wife tonight and this weekend at church! Bless you both!