Almost 2 years into the journey

[ごWithTheFlow]

Hello everyone!

I'm new here and so I suppose this also serves as my introduction (it's nice to meet y'all).  Like many of you, getting to diaper dependence has been a goal of mine for a long time.  So, at the end of May in 2022 I decided to go 24/7 and haven't looked back.  Progress has been slow but steady I've been crossing off little milestones along the way(being able to go sitting,laying down, in various situations and settings,etc.).  Recently I almost fully voided (#1)while walking... before the reflex kicked in at the last second-_- still a big step in the right direction, when I first started my muscles would lock up if I even thought about moving.  I might be stuck in a rut now though.  I've consistently maintained what I think is the open position but it feels like I'm missing something crucial.  I can drip and drizzle sporadically but I have yet to see a constant dribble and it still feels like I have to give permission for the bladder to void.  On a positive note voids have become noticeably smaller and my flow has slowed. The last void I did I really focused on what was happening and something loosens up in the high bladder area, I tried to keep that particular muscle open but it just feels like it just slowly closes as the void finishes everytime no matter what i do.  I'm kinda of stuck until I figure this out and was wondering if anyone went through something similar and how they got through it.

Anyways thanks for listening to my story!

[oznl]

My experience is that real change takes a LOT longer than some stories on the internet suggest and that when it happens, it hides in plain sight.  My experience also says that change DOES happen though.  I'm 5 years in.  I wouldn't say I'm incontinent but I am dependent if that makes any sense.

 

[ごWithTheFlow]

3 hours ago, oznl said:

My experience is that real change takes a LOT longer than some stories on the internet suggest and that when it happens, it hides in plain sight.  My experience also says that change DOES happen though.  I'm 5 years in.  I wouldn't say I'm incontinent but I am dependent if that makes any sense.

 

I completely agree with you trying to reformat deeply ingrained habits and reflexes takes a considerable amount of time.  I guess my worry is that I'm somehow doing something wrong which is slowing down progress.  If you don't mind me asking, have you developed a constant dribble yet?

[Little Sherri]

I'm hurtling towards 5 years in, and my 2 cents would be to more or less echo the above - I wet the bed now, so that's a thing. Other than that, though, while it would be inconvenient and uncomfortable to go for any extended period without a diaper on, I am definitely capable to doing it. I'd say that 90 minutes is about the max, and 2 hours would be approaching the danger zone, but that's a long way from "incontinent". One thing that has changed is that once I start voiding, I can't stop it, but, at least when I'm awake, it won't start on its own if I don't let it. That's different from "inattention", where I'm so used to being able to go whenever I want to that I do it almost on autopilot. 

I wish you luck and suggest that you enjoy the journey!

[ごWithTheFlow]

1 hour ago, Little Sherri said:

I'm hurtling towards 5 years in, and my 2 cents would be to more or less echo the above - I wet the bed now, so that's a thing. Other than that, though, while it would be inconvenient and uncomfortable to go for any extended period without a diaper on, I am definitely capable to doing it. I'd say that 90 minutes is about the max, and 2 hours would be approaching the danger zone, but that's a long way from "incontinent". One thing that has changed is that once I start voiding, I can't stop it, but, at least when I'm awake, it won't start on its own if I don't let it. That's different from "inattention", where I'm so used to being able to go whenever I want to that I do it almost on autopilot. 

I wish you luck and suggest that you enjoy the journey!

If I can have the kind of success you have right now in 3 years I will be thrilled! I guess I am overthinking things and should probably continue with what im doing. Thanks for the insight and I wish you luck as well!

[oznl]

14 hours ago, ごWithTheFlow said:

I completely agree with you trying to reformat deeply ingrained habits and reflexes takes a considerable amount of time.  I guess my worry is that I'm somehow doing something wrong which is slowing down progress.  If you don't mind me asking, have you developed a constant dribble yet?

 My situation is pretty well aligned with @Little Sherri which is perhaps unsurprising as we both went in at around the same time.

I can choose NOT to wear a nappy during the day but I don't have much of a cruise range.   Once I've started peeing, I can't stop it.  It's like I've forgotten how.  I'm not incontinent but it's a lot more practical for me to stay in a nappy.

At night, I sometimes wet the bed now and that will happen even if I do NOT wear a nappy (with predictably disastrous outcomes).  I guess that IS a kind of incontinence.

I will not "dribble" all day but I will typically "micro-pee" every 10 minutes or so but that's because I allow that to happen.  I could choose not to but not letting pee happen that way can get uncomfortable quickly now.  Those micro-pees will happen pretty much irrespective of what I'm doing: walking, driving, climbing a ladder, talking to somebody, it doesn't matter.  I can "relax" to a state where I will semi-automatically dribble pee as though I was catheterised but generally speaking, standing up and moving around will cancel this.

 

[Little Sherri]

8 hours ago, oznl said:

I can "relax" to a state where I will semi-automatically dribble pee as though I was catheterised but generally speaking, standing up and moving around will cancel this.

This happens to me sometimes as well, and when it does, it's the physiological equivalent of encountering a deer (or kangaroo) in the woods. If I move, or do anything else, really, it vanishes. I'd love to develop, perhaps through tantric meditation, the ability to maintain that state while doing other things, but that is the holy grail for a lot of people here, isn't it? True autopilot. If I ever figure it out, I will then develop a subliminal suggestion podcast, and retire. There would also be almost infinite opportunities for "product adulteration" for my own entertainment. "I subscribed to Sherri's podcast, and within 60 days, I was able to remain totally relaxed and open for hours at a time, while also playing rugby. However, I now become almost uncontrollably aroused, whenever I look at bee hives. It's weird." 

[CodHero24]

On 2/27/2024 at 1:21 AM, ごWithTheFlow said:

I'm kinda of stuck until I figure this out and was wondering if anyone went through something similar and how they got through it.

You basically want to empty your bladder as often as possible, by shrinking the size of your bladder, makes it easier to release more often.

A Smaller bladder will also cause your diaper to leak significantly less often, making things easier on you.

A few minutes after I get out of the shower, (just before I put on a fresh diaper), I always empty my bladder, (usually into my most recently used diaper.)

Having a cup of coffee after a diaper change will pretty much guarantee you'll have a good urge for a wetting within 30 minutes to an hour.

It's also good to drink plenty of water during the day, and especially before bedtime to properly unsure your diaper is doomed.

 

For a little back story on me, I went 24/7 before and also during the pandemic because I didn't work from home and my job required me to be constantly on the move.

I'm at the point now where I never leave the house without a diaper, it just wouldn't be comfortable without one.

I wet often enough that If i'm not wearing I have to constantly focus on holding it, so diapers are just a better option now.

I can manage without one, but I've had small accidents on long car rides, discovering a small wet spot on my friend's car seat.

I legit didn't even know I wet, which was kind of scary but also exciting providing justification for always being padded.

 

It's good to have an arsenal of different types of diapers for different life situations.

Some diapers are for bedtime, where it's okay to be thicker and super comfortable, like (BetterDry and Trest.)

Some diapers are good for Daytime wearing around the house, or running errands on your days off from work.  (Threaded Armor).

And some diapers for wearing to Work, when you need something that won't bulge or break apart, (Total Dry Overnight).

 

[Baby Toni38]

1 hour ago, Little Sherri said:

This happens to me sometimes as well, and when it does, it's the physiological equivalent of encountering a deer (or kangaroo) in the woods. If I move, or do anything else, really, it vanishes. I'd love to develop, perhaps through tantric meditation, the ability to maintain that state while doing other things, but that is the holy grail for a lot of people here, isn't it? True autopilot. If I ever figure it out, I will then develop a subliminal suggestion podcast, and retire. There would also be almost infinite opportunities for "product adulteration" for my own entertainment. "I subscribed to Sherri's podcast, and within 60 days, I was able to remain totally relaxed and open for hours at a time, while also playing rugby. However, I now become almost uncontrollably aroused, whenever I look at bee hives. It's weird." 

What is the full name of the podcast.  Url or address please.

[ごWithTheFlow]

1 hour ago, CodHero24 said:

You basically want to empty your bladder as often as possible, by shrinking the size of your bladder, makes it easier to release more often.

A Smaller bladder will also cause your diaper to leak significantly less often, making things easier on you.

A few minutes after I get out of the shower, (just before I put on a fresh diaper), I always empty my bladder, (usually into my most recently used diaper.)

Having a cup of coffee after a diaper change will pretty much guarantee you'll have a good urge for a wetting within 30 minutes to an hour.

It's also good to drink plenty of water during the day, and especially before bedtime to properly unsure your diaper is doomed.

 

For a little back story on me, I went 24/7 before and also during the pandemic because I didn't work from home and my job required me to be constantly on the move.

I'm at the point now where I never leave the house without a diaper, it just wouldn't be comfortable without one.

I wet often enough that If i'm not wearing I have to constantly focus on holding it, so diapers are just a better option now.

I can manage without one, but I've had small accidents on long car rides, discovering a small wet spot on my friend's car seat.

I legit didn't even know I wet, which was kind of scary but also exciting providing justification for always being padded.

 

It's good to have an arsenal of different types of diapers for different life situations.

Some diapers are for bedtime, where it's okay to be thicker and super comfortable, like (BetterDry and Trest.)

Some diapers are good for Daytime wearing around the house, or running errands on your days off from work.  (Threaded Armor).

And some diapers for wearing to Work, when you need something that won't bulge or break apart, (Total Dry Overnight).

 

Yea I've been meaning to ask something about shrinking the bladder.  So far I've been following the 12 month training pdf and the advice of others and been drinking a considerable amount of fluid to practice keeping the open state.  Should I now reduce fluids to start the process of shrinking? If so by how much? ( i average around a gallon of fluid per day)  thank you for the diaper reccomdations too! Trests have been my go to for work and I love my retro game print threaded armors.  Recently I discovered NRUs and found them to be very similar to the trests (slightly less capacity, but also a little cheaper). As far as a hot weather work diaper, I'm thinking about using an incontrol active air with a booster this year I really like the tapes on them.

[CodHero24]

33 minutes ago, ごWithTheFlow said:

Should I now reduce fluids to start the process of shrinking? If so by how much?

I would drink fluids normally, as you crave them.

If you're thirsty, drink some water.

If you're groggy around noon or afternoon, have some coffee.

Before bedtime though, it's good to drink extra water to compensate for the fact that you'll be sleeping for the next several hours.

I get great sleep when I'm extra hydrated, and that leads to a soaking wet diaper in the mornings, (Which for me is not a problem).

Regular vanilla people starve themselves of water and fluids before bedtime, which leads to them waking up with dry mouth in the middle of the night, or headaches in the morning from dehydration.

Plus regular people have to wake up in the middle of the night to use the potty, and then might have trouble falling back to sleep, or not be able to fall back asleep at all...  That leads to not getting a proper nights rest, and could affect work performance, driving reaction time, and other heath problems.

I'm happy to be a bedwetter and always wake up fully rested.

I don't dabble too much with ABDL Diapers, and by purchasing only Medical Branded Diapers, I can afford to wear 24/7.

[soggster]

On 2/27/2024 at 6:21 AM, ごWithTheFlow said:

I might be stuck in a rut now though.  I've consistently maintained what I think is the open position but it feels like I'm missing something crucial. 

Trust me this is related; I sometimes go to open Buddhist meditation sessions, and often newcomers are unable to meditate, they can only focus on the fact they aren't actively meditating. This in turn means they're unable to meditate which makes them stuck. It's a similar story with un-training.

The quote that helped me finally meditate and also finally start having unregistered nappy usage is this:

"Sometimes the best way from A to B is to stay at A"

This applies to untraining - if we focus on our end goal of B, we find ourselves stuck at A. The best way to get to our end goal is to just relax and enjoy being where we are. It sounds counterintuitive, but if you do this, one day you'll find you've moved from A to B without realising it.

 

On 2/27/2024 at 12:38 PM, oznl said:

when it happens, it hides in plain sight

Indeed! In addition - when we realise we are meditating (or finally wetting the bed etc) - we become conscious of it and it disappears. The skill is being able to meditate and be aware of it without the spell breaking. And a lot of that is having peace and enjoyment of where you're currently at. Same with un-training!

[oznl]

2 hours ago, soggster said:

Trust me this is related; I sometimes go to open Buddhist meditation sessions, and often newcomers are unable to meditate, they can only focus on the fact they aren't actively meditating. This in turn means they're unable to meditate which makes them stuck. It's a similar story with un-training.

The quote that helped me finally meditate and also finally start having unregistered nappy usage is this:

"Sometimes the best way from A to B is to stay at A"

This applies to untraining - if we focus on our end goal of B, we find ourselves stuck at A. The best way to get to our end goal is to just relax and enjoy being where we are. It sounds counterintuitive, but if you do this, one day you'll find you've moved from A to B without realising it.

 

Indeed! In addition - when we realise we are meditating (or finally wetting the bed etc) - we become conscious of it and it disappears. The skill is being able to meditate and be aware of it without the spell breaking. And a lot of that is having peace and enjoyment of where you're currently at. Same with un-training!

I think there's some exceptionally solid advice in there.  In particular, I'm acutely aware of my ability to kill my own bedwetting by concentrating on it; a piece of counter-intuitive psychological fact that the famous American psychiatrist Milton Erickson weaponised to cure adult bedwetting.  His therapy involved having  the sufferers of this complaint deliberately wet their beds upon retiring for the night and then sleeping in those wet beds!  Apparently it worked.  Somewhere I posted his summary of this story.  I'll try to find it later and link to it.

 

[ごWithTheFlow]

Just a small update I kind of went back to basics and focused on what happens during a void. I've made slight adjustments to my "open state" and have noticed a big difference.  It's still early but I notice a more persistent leak. Kind of hard to explain but it feels like something has just clicked into place!  Thank you all for the advice it was just what I needed to hear!

4 hours ago, soggster said:

"Sometimes the best way from A to B is to stay at A"

Well said and it makes a lot of sense.  Somehow I got stuck focusing on results and progress but moving forward I figure I'll take a more laid back approach 

[oznl]

2 hours ago, oznl said:

I think there's some exceptionally solid advice in there.  In particular, I'm acutely aware of my ability to kill my own bedwetting by concentrating on it; a piece of counter-intuitive psychological fact that the famous American psychiatrist Milton Erickson weaponised to cure adult bedwetting.  His therapy involved having  the sufferers of this complaint deliberately wet their beds upon retiring for the night and then sleeping in those wet beds!  Apparently it worked.  Somewhere I posted his summary of this story.  I'll try to find it later and link to it.

 

The full account as written by Milton is here:

 

[WBxx]

14 hours ago, oznl said:

The full account as written by Milton is here:

 

Far as I can tell Milton Erickson’s couple bedwetting cure article is no longer available (without charge) on the web.  Thanks to you it’s now in my bedwetting classics folder.  Thanks again.

[oznl]

18 hours ago, WBxx said:

Far as I can tell Milton Erickson’s couple bedwetting cure article is no longer available (without charge) on the web.  Thanks to you it’s now in my bedwetting classics folder.  Thanks again.

You're welcome!   It's a bit annoying watching things get sucked out of the public domain to be monetised.   There is some additional follow-up narrative and a commentary but I don't want to hijack a thread.

[PuraVidaDip]

Welcome! 2 years in now.