Do people actually find mommy/baby relationships?

[LeaveIt2Me]

I have seen numerous posts asking for a mommy but when I read through them they don’t seem to amount to much. Likewise I have posted about being an online mommy. I am starting to believe that much like the stories tales of actual mommy/baby relationships are mostly fantasy?

How many people have found an actual mommy/baby relationship?

[Snugglebear_69]

There are tons of folks that have found a Caregiver/little relationship. Personally I prefer having my Daddy but my Wife will baby me as well. I think often once people find their partner they're more invested in living their relationship versus posting about it.

[Babypants]

12 minutes ago, LeaveIt2Me said:

How many people have found an actual mommy/baby relationship?

"Found" might be the wrong way to phrase it.  "Stumbled into" certainly applied in the case of my late wife and I.  I never tried to hide either my incontinence issues or my diapers from her, but they never drove her away.  Across the course of  a long and happy marriage, she fell into the habit of treating me like a baby when I was acting like one, tantrums and all.  She never hesitated to change my diapers when a sciatica attack would come close to paralyzing me, and she even bottle fed me when I was immobilized.  In turn, I nursed her through the worst moments of terminal cancer.

My sense is that on this site people focus far too much on diapers, and far too little on the other aspects of their life.  It is these that will ultimately prove to be the bedrock of a relationship.  

[LeaveIt2Me]

Baby pants I am so happy to hear about you and your wife’s relationship. I worry about ab/dl relationships being one sided since a fetish can only take you so far but it sounds like you and your wife had a true relationship especially since you were willing to be a caregiver when it was necessary.

[Rachael-Little]

I would say they are difficult to find much like me finding someone who loves me for me, being gender fluid 

I mean if each other really love one another all the other stuff is secondary 

[Snugglebear_69]

As someone who is genderfluid I am always amazed at how many people genuinely want a genderfluid spouse or partner. My Daddy gets a lot of folks asking Him how He found a genderfluid partner and how to find someone who is genderfluid.

I originally thought a lot of folks may have been fetishisizing it but nope, genuine interest in finding a genderfluid partner to love.

[messyman]

I am sure it happens. But there are definitely a lot more diapered couples out there than Mommy baby couples.

 

[Snugglebear_69]

I used to think I might want a partner or partners who also like wearing diapers but after playing a bit with switching and having partners wear a diaper during sex realized it is definitely not something I want personally. I wanted to find, and have found, someone who is a Caregiver at heart. I think folks need to be very honest with themselves about what they want and then pursue it instead if settling which a lot of folks seem to do.

[Little Sherri]

21 minutes ago, Snugglebear_69 said:

I think folks need to be very honest with themselves about what they want and then pursue it instead if settling which a lot of folks seem to do.

People can find themselves "penned in" by circumstances, however, and I think it's important to "count one's blessings" to a certain extent, if, for example, an otherwise vanilla partner cares about you enough to indulge, or at least accommodate, what are, to maybe 95% of the populace, at least unconventional, if not strange, predilections. (I made that number up from whole cloth because I've never seen any supported statistics about how many people land on the AB/DL spectrum, but my experience so far has suggested to me that it's, a) more than most people probably think (witness the existence of an entire industry serving "us", and, b) probably still not that many people - so many of us are raised to run away from diapers and all things infantile, as soon as we're physiologically capable of doing so.) 

One could argue that I'm "settling" in being married to a woman who's willing to overlook the fact that I wear diapers, but who isn't remotely "into" it, however, a closer look at the circumstances reveals a complex array of factors; I was driven away from DL impulses for more than two decades, by a humiliating and traumatic experience with a stepfather waving one of my diapers around and yelling at me in front of my family about it when I was 13. In the meantime, I met a lady, we clicked, we got married, we had kids, we started a business... and then "this" came back, as it often does, and I had to choose between skulking around under a cloak of shame, during brief interludes when I could carve out some alone time, or, "coming out" to my spouse, come what may. I didn't want to blow up the rest of my carefully-built life in order to go find someone who would fully indulge "this" aspect of my lifestyle desires. I would say that's not "settling", it's compromising, and most people compromise in nearly all aspects of their existence. I love beer and sports cars and travel, but I also need my liver, and I don't want to eat cat food when I retire, so... moderation is called for. 

If I were starting out again, I am in agreement with your premise (I think), in that, I would probably advise myself not to pretend that the ABDL side of me had died... but, in defense of younger-me, I was 13 when I parted ways with my plastic underpants, so when I was in my late 20's, I thought of that as a developmental stage I'd outgrown, and I didn't think I was being disingenuous with my spouse when it never came up over 5 years of dating and getting married. I was astonished and more than a little terrified when "this" side of me woke up again, 20+ years after it was buried. 

All of which is to say that I don't think I've settled. I took a very big chance when I decided that I needed to wear diapers, and that not being open about it was coming between me and my family in unhealthy ways. I've since landed in a world where I get to wear them all the time, without financial ruin or an estranged relationship with my kids or finding myself living in a van. That's not settling. Settling, by my definition, would be still encouraging my family to travel without me, to get a few days alone here and there, so I could commune with that side of myself, however briefly. 

[Snugglebear_69]

In terms of "counting blessings", I respectfully will have to disagree. My Wife and my Boyfriend/Daddy participate in terms of a Cgl relationship. Why, because I was clear with myself that is important to me. I did not want to be with someone who indulges or accommodates me, I wanted a partner who participates. Are there things where I don't have a strong position on participation, yep, but this isn't one of those things. Just as I would never ask my partners to thank me for participating in something they enjoy I wont do so either. Are there things where I may not be necessarily excited in participating with my partners, sure, they like anime and I don't BUT they are also clear they don't really care if I participate or not.

In terms of settling, I don't mean people who have reached a point where they and a partner have reached a point both accept and are comfortable with in terms of moving forward. What I do mean are the folks who are looking for ways to trick, pressure, selfishly persuade or convince, etc , a partner into doing more than that partner is willing to or wants to. If you and your partner are fine with an "overlook" approach and that works for you the congrats. I do find it interesting when people quickly jump to prove they haven't settled though when nothing was directed at a particular source.

Circumstances change and often we change with them, that's life and can lead to compromise. If someone is unhappy and trying to change or push their partner to do more than they are willing, we'll that sounds a lot like settling. Settling comes about when someone isn't happy with their circumstances and the does nothing to change those circumstances but chooses instead to just complain about hard done by they are, at least in my view.

[Little Sherri]

51 minutes ago, Snugglebear_69 said:

Circumstances change and often we change with them, that's life and can lead to compromise. If someone is unhappy and trying to change or push their partner to do more than they are willing, we'll that sounds a lot like settling. Settling comes about when someone isn't happy with their circumstances and the does nothing to change those circumstances but chooses instead to just complain about hard done by they are, at least in my view.

Agreed.

51 minutes ago, Snugglebear_69 said:

I do find it interesting when people quickly jump to prove they haven't settled though when nothing was directed at a particular source.

I approached this from this perspective: you having achieved what you achieved as being "the Holy Grail", but, possibly unattainable to a lot of people, just because of circumstances, and also, the sheer odds against two rare horizontally-striped zebras encountering each other in the wild (although zebras don't have the internet, which does improve the odds a bit.) I didn't mean to imply that you were needling anyone about having settled, I was just making a generalized comment, not directed at you in particular, but rather, the aggregate, that satisfaction can take many forms - that one should not necessarily compare oneself to Jeff Bezos when seeking a point of reference for "success." Not to imply anything about where you are, who you are, or what you've achieved, either - I'm sure it wasn't a walk in the park. I just mean that from an oversimplified outside view, someone could view someone in your position as being like Keith Richards telling amateur guitarists "not to settle." There are a lot of schmucks out here (like me!) trying to muddle through this strange life, is all I'm saying, and they shouldn't be too hard on themselves if perfection is elusive. 

But, yes, don't whinge while at the same time doing nothing. 

[Snugglebear_69]

Ah, totally fair, I thought perhaps my post came across as needling you or other folks and it certainly wasn't intended that way. I appreciate the clarification and do see where I oversimplified by just using the term settling without any context as to what I meant. I always appreciate your approach to posting as you do so openly versus in a way that criticizes.

[LittleMystery]

I had a couple in the past, but life ends up catching up to you, and the relationship tends to just end. Sad, but reality.

[munkey]

I am lucky enough to say, I have.  We met a little over a year ago on a vanilla dating app.  A year later we’re living together and she loves being a mommy.  Part of keeping the relationship going is making sure she feels loved and appreciated. 😍

[Stanley_19802]

Hello All,

       I have been lucky to have found a few AB parents. I can say the real deal is really out there. It's just difficult to find due to so many scams going around. I say keep at it and don't give up. It's worth the search to find one. I will never forget the mommy's/daddy's I have found or that found me. Not all the accounts are fantasy.

    -Stanley

[technomonkey]

Its all one sided with me the wife wants nothing to do with diapers.