Trying to explain to doctors that I want to be incontient is not easy

[Spudnick]

I posted on here a long time ago about how I have chronic pelvic pain and how I think that being incontinent would make that pain go away, or at least be more convenient. Well, now my pain has gotten worse and I'm getting borderline urinary retention. It takes me forever to pee, both in and out of a diaper. Using a toilet is a real gamble too because sometimes the stream is so pathetic that it just goes down my pants. And I can't easily pee sitting down so that's not really an option.

Right now I'm on Doxazosin, which is supposed to help with hesitancy and make it easier to pee. It can rarely cause, or exacerbate, incontinence, and I actually hope it does for me. I'm on a low dose now, they're goin to hike it up next week, hopefully it does something.

But in the past few years, I've developed such an anxiety over my ability (or lack thereof) to pee in the bathroom that I simply don't want to anymore. I'd rather use a diaper.

When I try to explain this to the doctors, they look at me like I'm crazy and it's really starting to piss me off. They keep telling me that being incontinent would be a major strain on my quality of life and I'm like, really? More than feeling like I have gasoline in my penis that I can't get out? More than not being able to get a decent night's sleep because I keep waking up TRYING to pee and not being able to completely? More than having to cut my work hours in half because it's impossible for me to function when my groin hurts so bad?

I've tried PT, I've tried losing weight, I've tried exercise, I've tried multiple medications. Nothing seems to work. There's a procedure called Memokath, it's an internal catheter that can be used to induce incontinence. I want them to do that on me. It's an outpatient procedure, instantly leads to total bladder incontinence, and it's even reversible, so if I do decide it's not for me, they can take it out. But no one will do it. They think living in constant pain is better. Maybe I should staple my doctor's dick to his fucking leg and ask him if he'd rather piss in a diaper. What the hell is wrong with these people?

[Veg]

I'm sorry to hear that this has been your experience @Spudnick, though might I suggest telling your doctor this in this wording if you haven't already? (Perhaps not the part about stapling his genitals but the rest!)

I hate how often we see this with this desire, personal viewpoints aside, its a matter of autonomy, I think that if the patient truly feels that it can improve their way of life and isn't deadly, and is of a sound mind, then they should be able to make such a decision for themselves.

All that said, I am sloghtly glad to hear of another individual that wishes to untrain/be incontinet due to retention issues.

I myself have struggled with it ever since I can remember. My shy bladder would rather bleed then let loose in a siuation it doesn't agree with.

From one currently fattally continent indivifual to another, I wish you the best of luck!

[Little Sam]

Is it complete and immediate relief when you're catheterised? Maybe contact a disability charity, you should have the right to not be in pain, or have to take a bunch of drugs and pain killers if there's an alternative. I think they'd agree, and would probably advocate for you. As soon as ADA and "lawsuit" were mentioned, you'd probably find a lot more cooperation.

That's my entirely uninformed opinion, anyway.

 

IMO, I think the fear is generally that it would have a negative impact on your sex life, and a lot of people think that's like the most important thing in the world.

[jeremy12312]

The Memokath procedure has complications (namely encrustation) that deter practitioners from using it as long-term, especially as a first-line, treatment.  There was a study involving an elderly group of men where it was well-tolerated, but they expected them to all die from natural causes before the catheters crusted shut.

[Spudnick]

10 hours ago, Little Sam said:

Is it complete and immediate relief when you're catheterised? Maybe contact a disability charity, you should have the right to not be in pain, or have to take a bunch of drugs and pain killers if there's an alternative. I think they'd agree, and would probably advocate for you. As soon as ADA and "lawsuit" were mentioned, you'd probably find a lot more cooperation.

That's my entirely uninformed opinion, anyway.

 

IMO, I think the fear is generally that it would have a negative impact on your sex life, and a lot of people think that's like the most important thing in the world.

Caths are terrifying and I refuse to use them as long as I am able to pee at all. If it ever gets to that point then I won't quit until I find a doctor who will perform a surgery that makes me incontinent. Diapers and/or condom caths over internal catheters any day of the week. No question. Not even debatable. Painkillers have terrible side effects that I can't tolerate. I don't need to contact a disability charity, money is not an issue. I could pay for this out of pocket if it was available. I don't live in America, the ADA and lawsuits are not options (and I doubt they'd be in the states for what it's worth).

It's nearly impossible to pee with a full on erection, everything I've read about being incontinent says that it has barely affected anyone's sex life.

 

10 hours ago, jeremy12312 said:

The Memokath procedure has complications (namely encrustation) that deter practitioners from using it as long-term, especially as a first-line, treatment.  There was a study involving an elderly group of men where it was well-tolerated, but they expected them to all die from natural causes before the catheters crusted shut.

It would still be nice to try it. Not only would I know if being incontinent would relieve my pain, but I would also see if it was really a big enough problem in my life over the current situation. It's reversible and doesn't even require a general anesthetic.

 

 

[Don Incognito]

On 11/23/2023 at 1:32 AM, Spudnick said:

 I could pay for this out of pocket if it was available.

Actually, it is available if you're willing to travel to Mexico:

Getting Surgery in Mexico

[BrownBobby]

On 1/31/2024 at 3:27 PM, Don Incognito said:

Actually, it is available if you're willing to travel to Mexico:

Getting Surgery in Mexico

And if you're willing to pay the price - think tens of thousands of dollars.  Still worth it in my mind, but it definitely was a steep price tag.