Normalizing Diapers

[Breeze1]

Just need some advice on being able to make diapers a more normal thing between me and my gf. It doesn’t make her uncomfortable but we are certainly not at a “comfortable” point regarding diapers. We don’t talk about them often but I want to be able to wear more often and have my gf be comfortable with that. We’ve established that we need to talk more but I have failed to do so as I don’t really know where to start. Open to all advice. Thanks.

[Demon-hunter]

Here are a few advice that I will give you, So you won't make the same mistakes that I had and still making.
1. Do not overload them with all the abdl stuff take one step at a time if you throw them in the deep end they will run away or they will just flip out and try to change you (and not in a good way). 
2. Know your boundaries. You respect her boundaries, and make her respect your boundaries.  
3. Stand up for yourself, if they threaten to leave you or throw your stuff away, it doesn't matter you've got to stand up for yourself and not let them walk all over you. 
4. Don't let them use your abdl life as an escape goat to blame every outside forces of misfortune (for example, "oh no the electric went out, i lost my job, car broke down, oh it must be because of your Abdl stuff"). 
5. Have an open honest conversation about it. It's okay to talk about what you like and love about it, it's okay to explain things to her she does not understand and it's okay if she will never understand (still needs to respect you) or show her abdl articles, store websites or forums like this, again don't overdo it. 

[Dartplayerinwvc]

your supposed to be a team... Team up and BOTH of you should try out Love in Brief podcast... TONS of great info there. 100 episodes about 30 min long too 1 one hour.... you cant miss with that podcast

[feralfreak]

she seems like she isnt fully into diapers, what does she have that you arent fully into? if you want her to get more into your interest, you need to show interest in whatever it is for her that diapers are for you.

[Breeze1]

5 hours ago, feralfreak said:

she seems like she isnt fully into diapers, what does she have that you arent fully into? if you want her to get more into your interest, you need to show interest in whatever it is for her that diapers are for you.

There’s nothing she is into that I am not. I don’t think she has anything for her like I have diapers for myself.

[Demon-hunter]

29 minutes ago, Breeze1 said:

There’s nothing she is into that I am not. I don’t think she has anything for her like I have diapers for myself.

In my opinion, feel like males are more kinky and have fetishes, 

[Snugglebear_69]

The limited numbers of studies show that to be incredibly flase and something typically promoted by men versus being an accurate reflection of reality.

[feralfreak]

3 hours ago, Breeze1 said:

There’s nothing she is into that I am not. I don’t think she has anything for her like I have diapers for myself.

then do special things for her, find something she likes and do more of it

[Little Sherri]

It's a tough situation to navigate, for sure. If it becomes intractable, you may have to decide if your ABDL side is more important to you than the relationship, just as she has to make the same decision, more or less - does her rejection of that side of you eclipse the value of the relationship as a whole? If this is the most important factor to her, then the relationship may be doomed, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, because if she's willing to sacrifice everything on this altar, then ultimately, she's telling you by her actions that she wants complete control over her partner, and if her partner isn't willing to submit to her vision of how they should live, then she's not going to stay invested in them. That's actually good information to have, because then you can evaluate if you are willing to have aspects of your personality subsumed by the relationship, or not. There is no "right" answer to that question, and only you can answer it for yourself. I'd just suggest that you don't "live a lie" for too long - don't pretend you're okay with it, if you're not, while quietly suffering, because that will become a cancer to the relationship eventually. In my opinion, you might as well rip that bandage off quickly, and move on.

On the other hand, if this person shows any willingness to work with you, then that should be embraced and cultivated, and nurtured - and the nurturing means working with her, both to define boundaries that are acceptable to both of you, and, critically, to make sure that you indulge whatever is important to her, so that she feels cared for and valued as well. You've indicated that she doesn't have any passions that rival yours in intensity, but, there must be things that bring her joy or satisfaction or relaxation. Maybe she doesn't have a hobby or a fetish, but, whatever it is she wants to do with her downtime - be it reading, watching movies, knitting ferret costumes, growing cacti, baking, whatever it may be, make sure you make space for it in your shared world, would be my advice. If she feels like she's valued and accommodated, she'll be less likely to get irritated by the fact that boxes of diapers are taking up space in the closet or whatever. 

You also need to set reasonable expectations for what someone who's not "into" the ABDL thing would likely be willing to accept. You may not reach the point where you have a nursery set up in the spare bedroom and you wear rompers all day, everyday, but, maybe you can quietly wear diapers most of the time, and on special occasions, get to completely indulge your little side. Just as, if your "thing" was Civil War reenactments, you wouldn't likely dress in uniform and carry a musket everyday. 

[abdiaper]

7 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

It's a tough situation to navigate, for sure. If it becomes intractable, you may have to decide if your ABDL side is more important to you than the relationship, just as she has to make the same decision, more or less - does her rejection of that side of you eclipse the value of the relationship as a whole? If this is the most important factor to her, then the relationship may be doomed, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, because if she's willing to sacrifice everything on this altar, then ultimately, she's telling you by her actions that she wants complete control over her partner, and if her partner isn't willing to submit to her vision of how they should live, then she's not going to stay invested in them. That's actually good information to have, because then you can evaluate if you are willing to have aspects of your personality subsumed by the relationship, or not. There is no "right" answer to that question, and only you can answer it for yourself. I'd just suggest that you don't "live a lie" for too long - don't pretend you're okay with it, if you're not, while quietly suffering, because that will become a cancer to the relationship eventually. In my opinion, you might as well rip that bandage off quickly, and move on.

On the other hand, if this person shows any willingness to work with you, then that should be embraced and cultivated, and nurtured - and the nurturing means working with her, both to define boundaries that are acceptable to both of you, and, critically, to make sure that you indulge whatever is important to her, so that she feels cared for and valued as well. You've indicated that she doesn't have any passions that rival yours in intensity, but, there must be things that bring her joy or satisfaction or relaxation. Maybe she doesn't have a hobby or a fetish, but, whatever it is she wants to do with her downtime - be it reading, watching movies, knitting ferret costumes, growing cacti, baking, whatever it may be, make sure you make space for it in your shared world, would be my advice. If she feels like she's valued and accommodated, she'll be less likely to get irritated by the fact that boxes of diapers are taking up space in the closet or whatever. 

You also need to set reasonable expectations for what someone who's not "into" the ABDL thing would likely be willing to accept. You may not reach the point where you have a nursery set up in the spare bedroom and you wear rompers all day, everyday, but, maybe you can quietly wear diapers most of the time, and on special occasions, get to completely indulge your little side. Just as, if your "thing" was Civil War reenactments, you wouldn't likely dress in uniform and carry a musket everyday. 

I think this is very well said and spot on. Given the greater awareness of ABDL today and more use of diapers for convenience the dialogue on this topic with a partner is always tough but much easier than it was before the days of the internet!

[Breeze1]

11 hours ago, Little Sherri said:

It's a tough situation to navigate, for sure. If it becomes intractable, you may have to decide if your ABDL side is more important to you than the relationship, just as she has to make the same decision, more or less - does her rejection of that side of you eclipse the value of the relationship as a whole? If this is the most important factor to her, then the relationship may be doomed, and that's not necessarily a bad thing, because if she's willing to sacrifice everything on this altar, then ultimately, she's telling you by her actions that she wants complete control over her partner, and if her partner isn't willing to submit to her vision of how they should live, then she's not going to stay invested in them. That's actually good information to have, because then you can evaluate if you are willing to have aspects of your personality subsumed by the relationship, or not. There is no "right" answer to that question, and only you can answer it for yourself. I'd just suggest that you don't "live a lie" for too long - don't pretend you're okay with it, if you're not, while quietly suffering, because that will become a cancer to the relationship eventually. In my opinion, you might as well rip that bandage off quickly, and move on.

On the other hand, if this person shows any willingness to work with you, then that should be embraced and cultivated, and nurtured - and the nurturing means working with her, both to define boundaries that are acceptable to both of you, and, critically, to make sure that you indulge whatever is important to her, so that she feels cared for and valued as well. You've indicated that she doesn't have any passions that rival yours in intensity, but, there must be things that bring her joy or satisfaction or relaxation. Maybe she doesn't have a hobby or a fetish, but, whatever it is she wants to do with her downtime - be it reading, watching movies, knitting ferret costumes, growing cacti, baking, whatever it may be, make sure you make space for it in your shared world, would be my advice. If she feels like she's valued and accommodated, she'll be less likely to get irritated by the fact that boxes of diapers are taking up space in the closet or whatever. 

You also need to set reasonable expectations for what someone who's not "into" the ABDL thing would likely be willing to accept. You may not reach the point where you have a nursery set up in the spare bedroom and you wear rompers all day, everyday, but, maybe you can quietly wear diapers most of the time, and on special occasions, get to completely indulge your little side. Just as, if your "thing" was Civil War reenactments, you wouldn't likely dress in uniform and carry a musket everyday. 

I see. This person is very willing to work with me which I’m thankful for I just need to know the right way to go about it. I think i should focus more of my time to making her happy and satisfied with me as a bf and just ensuring her needs are fulfilled. I’m not perfect so there’s always room to do better.

[Three Rivers]

As one who has been married for 43 years now, relationships are all about communication. You need to have a very open and honest conversation with her about what's ok and not. Remember that relationships are also give and take, so recognize that she also has needs and you need to take care of those as well. The best to you in your relationship and your new adventures.