Unseendl’s Bedwetting Journal

[Unseendl]

This post looks long but hear me out..

I know I’m not the first to keep a journal, and I’m sure I won’t be the last, but I have and do appreciate those who share their knowledge and their findings with their own journeys. Reading other people’s journals might not be for everyone, but for some they do help! This first post will certainly be the longest one, but my goal is to give much smaller progress updates at a regular interval with any tips/tricks/information that I discover that are at least working or not working for me, so others can have another perspective on any similar (or not) journey they may want to take. My personal twist to these entries is that I’m fighting years (a couple of decades actually) of “strong potty training” due to struggling for years (about 2 full decades) with chronic constipation, which is a medical experience I wouldn’t wish on anyone, in hopes that it might reach another person in whatever journey they are on, diapers or not.

As mentioned, a lot of people have come and gone with their own journeys, to whichever extent they want, and some have been kind enough to provide insight to the community via their own journals, but it was in a thread that @Beccathelittle started for her 24/7 journey where she said that "... I'm certainly not going to let diapers impede what I want to do" that gave me a different perspective. I admire and appreciated hearing that because that’s exactly what I feel has been stopping me for years, despite all of the self-affirmation, 24/7 attempts, and all of the guides saying that “your lifestyle will change”, which it will to some extent. It doesn’t have to COMPLETELY get in the way of how you’re living life. Getting to hear a community member pro-actively not let their life change and to hear about how they’re doing it reminded me of all the other things in life that I didn't and don't have control over. Then and now it's "I’ll just figure it out" and came up with solutions for whatever life wanted to throw my way. We all have those moments in life, and while this lifestyle change may be self-inflicted, I plan on applying that same logic here.

Bedwetting is something that I have been trying to do actively/semi-actively since 2018, and despite the longevity, I have gained only minimal ground if I’m truly being honest. The hard parts had been consistency with water intake and intention to wet while lying in bed without the use of tools such as being on my phone or watching TV. Often times too, I'll give up on being uncomfortable and stand up to release the pressure. I'm starting to learn how much "damage" holding it in has done to my bladder and continence in general.

Accepting that I am, despite current ability, a bedwetter has been another true blocker. During 2020, I had gone 24/7 for around 6 months, which is another story for another time, but my commitment was to #1s but not #2s, so I was fighting conflicting areas of “control”. During that run I also learned and experienced many of the different situations in which incontinent people find themselves and I feel I was fairly successful at navigating most those situations. At no point had anything ever come up with family, friends, or strangers, even during nights where I or my partner and I slept at hotels or family’s houses. All that being said, I couldn’t say exactly what led me to stop 24/7, but I still continued trying to become a bedwetter.

I regret not committing more completely to using diapers during the 24/7 run, but it seems that I mentally still wasn’t ready to go full-in to any extent. Hindsight being 20-20, I realize now a lot of that was because there are things I still want to do with my life that would be altered to some extent if I became a bedwetter. What I didn’t even try to account for then was how much or how little that alteration may be. Subconsciously not wanting bedwetting to “impede” parts of my life, is exactly the opposite of what Becca had committed to in her journey. I’ve read it a multitude of times from different people in different applications, but like most things in life, it’s mostly mental.

On to the goal: become a nighttime bedwetter that has no idea they’re wetting at night. Hopefully in 1 years time. Desired by a lot, achieved by many. Knowing that it will likely take longer than a year considering the obstacles I’ve listed, having a new internal motto of “I’ll figure it out” I’m ready to stop chasing the horse and finally jump on it. I’ve appreciated all the individuals who have written journals on their own journeys throughout the years, so my goal is to do the same for others in hopes someone picks up even a tiny piece information that may help themselves in whichever way it needs to. Despite today being December 29^th I actually secretly started a few days earlier back on the 15^th, but have been working on my goals and plans which I wanted to commit to by January 1^st making 2023, my first full year of being a bedwetter!

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading! Though I am keeping a daily private journal, I plan on updating this post at least once a month with the highlights and findings. Still happy to answer questions as they come. Also another thank you to all of those who help keep this diaper community alive and this subculture within it alive too with content and support!

[CrescentDaydream]

This was a really nice I've been really enjoying seeing these show up lately and this has been no different as these kind of journal made me realize I want to be incontinent which I didn't know beforehand until I also read becca's journal but thinking about it makes me happy and reading this helped with a few more blockages I've had in my mind too, so thanks for sharing this. and I would love to hear more of your journey  

[oznl]

Congratulations on taking the very necessary first step (which is more than many do!) by recognising your desire and resolving to explore it.  There’s no doubt that it takes time but I also have no doubt that it CAN be done as I have personally done it.  There’s a lot of conditioning that needs to be moved out of the way but since you have the whole rest-of-your-life to do that, this should pose no problem for you.

My experience is that specific objectives, tests and measurements are your enemies here.  Your friends are time, practice and sanguinity in the face of damp spots.

When bedwetting eventually, unambiguously announced itself to me, in all probability it had sneaked in weeks or months earlier and I was blind to the evidence.

For me it was (and still is) a slow voyage with false starts, long periods of stasis and occasional, inexplicable regressions but the underlying trend line is plain in retrospect.

I don’t know if it’s alcohol, holidays or some combination of the two but I haven’t had a dry night since Christmas eve.

I look forward to following your journey!

[Unseendl]

13 hours ago, CrescentDaydream said:

This was a really nice I've been really enjoying seeing these show up lately and this has been no different as these kind of journal made me realize I want to be incontinent which I didn't know beforehand until I also read becca's journal but thinking about it makes me happy and reading this helped with a few more blockages I've had in my mind too, so thanks for sharing this. and I would love to hear more of your journey  

I'm glad I helped move a couple more blockages for you?

If it's going to be your first attempt, don't get down if you start having second thoughts or hesitate, practice makes perfect. This is my 3rd attempt, but now there's confidence now in knowing that after three tries, it's still something I want/need to do, and it sounds like it might be the same for you!

In any case, hopefully I'll come across a few more musings for you to think on 

2 hours ago, oznl said:

My experience is that specific objectives, tests and measurements are your enemies here.  Your friends are time, practice and sanguinity in the face of damp spots.

Specific objectives and tests is an interesting comment to make. I'm a data-driven kind of guy and measurements drive a lot of it for me. Still, to your point, I've gone back and forth on taking the above notes, and I'm actually a little more concerned that doing so might cause unintentional consequences of me over-thinking the goal itself.

Despite my goal of "around a year", I think you're spot on with time and practice being my best friends

[Little Belle]

@Unseendl I look forward to following your story! I find it so interesting to read such journals and I think they can massively help not just the readers but the person writing them too.

Although I haven't been sharing my story as a thread on here, I have kept a personal journal of my 24/7 lifestyle (which is over 12 months now) and it's been remarkable to look back on and see that things have changed enormously - not just physically but psychologically too. I've definitely taken the approach which @oznl champions and I haven't been obsessing over progress/measurements etc. Instead, I've just been consistent and patient. And that's why writing the journal was so useful as it has enabled me to see just how far I have in fact come.

I'm 100% happy with being 24/7 and have lost all remaining continence that I once had so I know that I am effectively beyond the 'point of no return' now. Looking back of my earlier diary entries helps me to be at peace with the decision I made as I can remind myself how much happier I am now on the odd times I might have a wobble and ask myself 'why on earth have you done this to yourself?'!  

 

[oznl]

15 hours ago, Unseendl said:

Specific objectives and tests is an interesting comment to make. I'm a data-driven kind of guy and measurements drive a lot of it for me. Still, to your point, I've gone back and forth on taking the above notes, and I'm actually a little more concerned that doing so might cause unintentional consequences of me over-thinking the goal itself.

I hear you.  You’re talking to somebody who spent nearly 4 decades working in Information Technology: a highly data-driven field if there ever was one.  Also, my comments are born from my personal experience, not a peer-reviewed journal based on an entire cohort.  But, enough of the disclaimers.

For me, genuine bedwetting proved to be more of an omission rather than an act.  After a VERY long period of time habituating myself to urinating in a diaper in bed, I eventually started to sometimes forget to wake up for that.  I didn't plan to wet the bed, I forgot NOT to.

At the beginning at least, the lines between sleep-wetting and wakeful wetting were very blurred.  There were numerous “Did I or didn’t I?” moments.  The paradox was that (at least in the early days), every effort I made to corral or measure bedwetting events seemed to have the effect of suppressing them.  It seemed that bringing the act into conscious thought effectively inhibited what otherwise would have been an unconscious behaviour.

Literally EVERY time I tried to “capture” an event (typically by modulating my diaper changing cadence so that I went to bed dry and/or attempting to enhance the chances of sleep wetting by fluid loading), I would instead be woken by my bladder.

I began to notice that this “thing” happened in the dark, or at least in the shadows.  It happened when I was NOT thinking about or was distracted.

The very first night I tested myself for REAL (hard core) bedwetting by going to bed dry and without a nappy on, I just woke up needing a pee at 1am (I got up and used the toilet).  This repeated at 3am and 5am and I concluded that I was NOT a bedwetter and all the previous “mystery wet diaper” events were in my imagination.

So convinced was I that I’d been mistaken that I actually changed the bedding (which was due for a wash anyway) but went back to bed the next night.  I again didn’t wear a diaper (my partner was still away) but based on the previous night’s experience, I had zero expectation of bedwetting and thought I’d just experience the novelty of a dry night.

I woke up at 2:54am and couldn’t work out why everything around me was cold and wet.  I had to wash all the bedding again.

Over time, my bedwetting became more robust and I COULD sometimes capture it by contriving to fall asleep dry but even today, it remains an inhibiting factor.  I’m far more likely to sleep wet when I don’t think about it.

In addition to not trying to measure myself every 5 minutes, there were a couple of other factors which seemed to provoke bedwetting for me:

1. Falling asleep wet anyway seemed to be a huge bias towards subsequent wetting events

2. Having confidence in my diapers to keep the bed dry was very important (I used terry-lined waterproof pants over them)

3. Fatigue and alcohol remain agent provocateurs.   Thanks to holiday-season drinking habits, I've been wet every night this week!

Good luck, as they say on the 'net, YMMV!

ps:  There's a story out there on the net that I just can't find right now from a 19th century psychologists that is relevant here.  He controversially "cured" a bedwetting married couple using a program of forcing them to deliberately wet the bed before sleeping in it over a protracted period of time.  It seems that by bringing the behaviour into the conscious realm, it was tamed.

[CrescentDaydream]

16 hours ago, Unseendl said:

I'm glad I helped move a couple more blockages for you?

If it's going to be your first attempt, don't get down if you start having second thoughts or hesitate, practice makes perfect. This is my 3rd attempt, but now there's confidence now in knowing that after three tries, it's still something I want/need to do, and it sounds like it might be the same for you!

In any case, hopefully I'll come across a few more musings for you to think on 

yeah once my life is more together I definably plan on making that happen and I know about that feeling of second thoughts and hesitation as I've been thinking about this for quite a bit since my realization happened but once I get enough diapers I will see how things go and hope for the best!

and yeah you have a question I have is what brand of diapers is good and cheap for this journey?

[Unseendl]

On 12/30/2022 at 6:12 AM, Little Belle said:

@Unseendl I look forward to following your story! I find it so interesting to read such journals and I think they can massively help not just the readers but the person writing them too.

Although I haven't been sharing my story as a thread on here, I have kept a personal journal of my 24/7 lifestyle (which is over 12 months now) and it's been remarkable to look back on and see that things have changed enormously - not just physically but psychologically too. I've definitely taken the approach which @oznl champions and I haven't been obsessing over progress/measurements etc. Instead, I've just been consistent and patient. And that's why writing the journal was so useful as it has enabled me to see just how far I have in fact come.

I'm 100% happy with being 24/7 and have lost all remaining continence that I once had so I know that I am effectively beyond the 'point of no return' now. Looking back of my earlier diary entries helps me to be at peace with the decision I made as I can remind myself how much happier I am now on the odd times I might have a wobble and ask myself 'why on earth have you done this to yourself?'!  

 

I had been encouraged to journal in other aspects of life, and was always bestowed the benefit from doing so, but I hadn't given it a chance. So far after doing a personal journal for 5 days, there was a TON of things on my mind that I hadn't sat down to process (mostly on this topic, but also a big dive into a HUGE piece of my earlier life), and it felt great doing so. I now find myself in the camp of journal encouragement ?

It always makes me happy and inspired to hear others being totally happy with incontinence as a choice. It can be a long road, and it's always hard to see the forest through the trees, but hearing positive reports from people is always a great beacon to see! My bored mind just likes to fill in the time by overthinking metrics involved, mostly because that's just what I've always done, but we'll see how much that affects me.

18 hours ago, oznl said:

I hear you.  You’re talking to somebody who spent nearly 4 decades working in Information Technology: a highly data-driven field if there ever was one.  Also, my comments are born from my personal experience, not a peer-reviewed journal based on an entire cohort.  But, enough of the disclaimers.

For me, genuine bedwetting proved to be more of an omission rather than an act.  After a VERY long period of time habituating myself to urinating in a diaper in bed, I eventually started to sometimes forget to wake up for that.  I didn't plan to wet the bed, I forgot NOT to.

At the beginning at least, the lines between sleep-wetting and wakeful wetting were very blurred.  There were numerous “Did I or didn’t I?” moments.  The paradox was that (at least in the early days), every effort I made to corral or measure bedwetting events seemed to have the effect of suppressing them.  It seemed that bringing the act into conscious thought effectively inhibited what otherwise would have been an unconscious behaviour.

Literally EVERY time I tried to “capture” an event (typically by modulating my diaper changing cadence so that I went to bed dry and/or attempting to enhance the chances of sleep wetting by fluid loading), I would instead be woken by my bladder.

I began to notice that this “thing” happened in the dark, or at least in the shadows.  It happened when I was NOT thinking about or was distracted.

The very first night I tested myself for REAL (hard core) bedwetting by going to bed dry and without a nappy on, I just woke up needing a pee at 1am (I got up and used the toilet).  This repeated at 3am and 5am and I concluded that I was NOT a bedwetter and all the previous “mystery wet diaper” events were in my imagination.

So convinced was I that I’d been mistaken that I actually changed the bedding (which was due for a wash anyway) but went back to bed the next night.  I again didn’t wear a diaper (my partner was still away) but based on the previous night’s experience, I had zero expectation of bedwetting and thought I’d just experience the novelty of a dry night.

I woke up at 2:54am and couldn’t work out why everything around me was cold and wet.  I had to wash all the bedding again.

Over time, my bedwetting became more robust and I COULD sometimes capture it by contriving to fall asleep dry but even today, it remains an inhibiting factor.  I’m far more likely to sleep wet when I don’t think about it.

In addition to not trying to measure myself every 5 minutes, there were a couple of other factors which seemed to provoke bedwetting for me:

1. Falling asleep wet anyway seemed to be a huge bias towards subsequent wetting events

2. Having confidence in my diapers to keep the bed dry was very important (I used terry-lined waterproof pants over them)

3. Fatigue and alcohol remain agent provocateurs.   Thanks to holiday-season drinking habits, I've been wet every night this week!

Good luck, as they say on the 'net, YMMV!

ps:  There's a story out there on the net that I just can't find right now from a 19th century psychologists that is relevant here.  He controversially "cured" a bedwetting married couple using a program of forcing them to deliberately wet the bed before sleeping in it over a protracted period of time.  It seems that by bringing the behaviour into the conscious realm, it was tamed.

This is such an interesting situation, and thank you for sharing your wetting habits. If I understand you correctly, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but you weren't actually trying to be a bedwetter, but were learning how to wet while in a bed (not bedwetting) a habit, and your subconscious basically just only kicks in when you're not thinking about it and haven't hit your other three points. If that's correct, it sounds like to me that I have a lot of the same or similar subconscious control. The only parts were we seem to differ (at least for right now) is that your #1 and #3 point are able to affect you more. Due to my strong potty training, Any amount of liquids of any kind don't seem to have an affect on anything yet other than discomfort, even if it feel like I'm going to burst.

I hadn't about that particular story about the couple, but I have heard of a couple of "parent tricks" similar to what that couple had gone through and supposedly there is usually success with it. It does seem to be, like everything else, that the brain concurs all! I have a progress update that somewhat relates to that, that I'm going to share in my first update coming up.

18 hours ago, CrescentDaydream said:

and yeah you have a question I have is what brand of diapers is good and cheap for this journey?

There are quite a few philosophies on this very topic and one could write a dissertation paper on all of the variations as to the answer for this question.

More directly to your question, the answer for MY journey and what I am wearing (for nighttime) is actually ConfiDry 24/7. I (like what seems like many others in our community as well) was in love with them at first, then better diapers came out (Mega Max, Trest and many others) and then they didn't seem to be the hot commodity they once were. I went back to them because comparing them all on paper, they hold quite a lot and are significantly cheaper than other options, for the amount of protection you're paying for. Now that I'm back in them and have been wearing them practically and unironically 24/7 for almost a full month, I don't think I'd go back to Mega Maxes at night anymore, since what I need and what each provide, ConfiDry wins out hands down, in all categories of function and fashion. For day time, what I've found is that if I'm in a need for high-capacity and discretion is NOT needed, Dry 24/7 all the way. If discretion IS needed, then MM for the go to. There are other thinner/cheaper options (which I do use), but those I find useful in specific situations.

You've mentioned desire for incontinence, but you haven't mentioned if you're wanting to go full 24/7 or if you're looking to first take a route like I am (for now at least) with just bedwetting. For reasons above, the answer does change depending on what you're ultimately trying to go for. What I mean is that if you have about $100 a month to spend on supplies, you'll have to figure out how you want to slice the budget-pie up. In my case, spending more money on the nighttime wetting will allow me to afford different/better protection at night versus having to spread those funds out if I were trying to budget for both. Honestly I don't look at it from a cost-per-diaper point of view, I look at it from a diapers-per-day POV. You'll hear it from the community time and time again that cheap and good don't really overlap with diapers in this world. Please take this next comment with a huge grain of salt because I don't know your exact situation, but if your profile is correct for age and if you're looking for "good cheap" diapers, I've been there and in 2023 things are even more difficult to try and choose. NOT IMPOSSIBLE, but likely more difficult. There are some other factors to play, into the choice (like confidence that your diaper will hold up to short and long durations) but you'll have to look at the pros and cons and make the call yourself since it's your life style that will be affected.

My goal isn't to discourage you, and tou've likely either read or heard these kind of comments made before in other posts, but please understand that despite the "warning label" above, I DO support your position and am more than happy to answers other questions you have about any of it if you have them! There's never been more community support and experience for desires like ours than there is now, so don't feel it's helpful to hold back.

 

[CrescentDaydream]

9 minutes ago, Unseendl said:

There are quite a few philosophies on this very topic and one could write a dissertation paper on all of the variations as to the answer for this question.

More directly to your question, the answer for MY journey and what I am wearing (for nighttime) is actually ConfiDry 24/7. I (like what seems like many others in our community as well) was in love with them at first, then better diapers came out (Mega Max, Trest and many others) and then they didn't seem to be the hot commodity they once were. I went back to them because comparing them all on paper, they hold quite a lot and are significantly cheaper than other options, for the amount of protection you're paying for. Now that I'm back in them and have been wearing them practically and unironically 24/7 for almost a full month, I don't think I'd go back to Mega Maxes at night anymore, since what I need and what each provide, ConfiDry wins out hands down, in all categories of function and fashion. For day time, what I've found is that if I'm in a need for high-capacity and discretion is NOT needed, Dry 24/7 all the way. If discretion IS needed, then MM for the go to. There are other thinner/cheaper options (which I do use), but those I find useful in specific situations.

You've mentioned desire for incontinence, but you haven't mentioned if you're wanting to go full 24/7 or if you're looking to first take a route like I am (for now at least) with just bedwetting. For reasons above, the answer does change depending on what you're ultimately trying to go for. What I mean is that if you have about $100 a month to spend on supplies, you'll have to figure out how you want to slice the budget-pie up. In my case, spending more money on the nighttime wetting will allow me to afford different/better protection at night versus having to spread those funds out if I were trying to budget for both. Honestly I don't look at it from a cost-per-diaper point of view, I look at it from a diapers-per-day POV. You'll hear it from the community time and time again that cheap and good don't really overlap with diapers in this world. Please take this next comment with a huge grain of salt because I don't know your exact situation, but if your profile is correct for age and if you're looking for "good cheap" diapers, I've been there and in 2023 things are even more difficult to try and choose. NOT IMPOSSIBLE, but likely more difficult. There are some other factors to play, into the choice (like confidence that your diaper will hold up to short and long durations) but you'll have to look at the pros and cons and make the call yourself since it's your life style that will be affected.

My goal isn't to discourage you, and tou've likely either read or heard these kind of comments made before in other posts, but please understand that despite the "warning label" above, I DO support your position and am more than happy to answers other questions you have about any of it if you have them! There's never been more community support and experience for desires like ours than there is now, so don't feel it's helpful to hold back.

 

Thank you for the diaper recommendations since there is so many brands there overwhelming for someone like me who has only brought regular store brand diapers due to lack of money to test out different ones and i think these diapers are great for me as well because I tend to be a heavy wetter and I easily leak of the store brand diapers that I currently have

and for the answers I might start with bedwetting but my intention with my words is 24/7 as I like my lifestyle won't really change as I'm not really social and barely go outside so being in diapers 24/7 for me would be super easy so I don't have much happening in my life and I don't really see that changing and for the 100 dollars ha does feel like a lot but I might feel different once I find a job and start making stable money to where I can buy these things as I have goals for a simple life so I think I will have the money to spare 

and yeah I'm sure it will take a lot of experimenting to fully decide on what diapers are the best for me and I really appreciate you answering any questions I have. Another is if you have any advice on losing my incontinence for bedwetting as with I said I wanna start slow 

[Unseendl]

12 minutes ago, CrescentDaydream said:

for the 100 dollars ha does feel like a lot but I might feel different once I find a job and start making stable money to where I can buy these things

It certainly does help, the hard part will be not going overboard with the purchases once you know you can afford them ?

12 minutes ago, CrescentDaydream said:

I have goals for a simple life so I think I will have the money to spare 

I envy you and those who are able to live a simple life. I have too many hobbies and interests, that I can only do a small few at a time. Also, speaking for myself, I'd be ok with learning to live the life of a "minimalist" if it meant getting rid of a lot clutter in my house.

12 minutes ago, CrescentDaydream said:

Another is if you have any advice on losing my incontinence for bedwetting as with I said I wanna start slow 

As far as advice goes, I'm mostly working off of parts of the 12-month program, with additional advice and techniques from other folks in this community that I've picked up from over the years. I haven't quite developed my own techniques yet, but I will certainly be sharing those in my updates!

[CrescentDaydream]

23 minutes ago, Unseendl said:

It certainly does help, the hard part will be not going overboard with the purchases once you know you can afford them ?

41 minutes ago, CrescentDaydream said:

That is true it will be hard to stop buying diapers once I can even more so if there nothing else I wanna buy for a long time XP
 

24 minutes ago, Unseendl said:

I envy you and those who are able to live a simple life. I have too many hobbies and interests, that I can only do a small few at a time. Also, speaking for myself, I'd be ok with learning to live the life of a "minimalist" if it meant getting rid of a lot clutter in my house.

42 minutes ago, CrescentDaydream said:

I'm sure you will be able too, if that is something you wanna do, I'm not sure how much I can help since I think I was just naturally born with a simplistic mindset but if you have questions I can try to help 


 

30 minutes ago, Unseendl said:

As far as advice goes, I'm mostly working off of parts of the 12-month program, with additional advice and techniques from other folks in this community that I've picked up from over the years. I haven't quite developed my own techniques yet, but I will certainly be sharing those in my updates!

Sounds good to me and thats right I forgot about the 12 month program I need to look into that again but yeah I'm excited to see your updates and how everything goes!

 

[oznl]

3 hours ago, Unseendl said:

This is such an interesting situation, and thank you for sharing your wetting habits. If I understand you correctly, and please correct me if I'm wrong, but you weren't actually trying to be a bedwetter, but were learning how to wet while in a bed (not bedwetting) a habit, and your subconscious basically just only kicks in when you're not thinking about it and haven't hit your other three points. If that's correct, it sounds like to me that I have a lot of the same or similar subconscious control. The only parts were we seem to differ (at least for right now) is that your #1 and #3 point are able to affect you more. Due to my strong potty training, Any amount of liquids of any kind don't seem to have an affect on anything yet other than discomfort, even if it feel like I'm going to burst.

I hadn't about that particular story about the couple, but I have heard of a couple of "parent tricks" similar to what that couple had gone through and supposedly there is usually success with it. It does seem to be, like everything else, that the brain concurs all! I have a progress update that somewhat relates to that, that I'm going to share in my first update coming up.

 

After being a DL since pretty much the time I was out of nappies as a toddler, I had no physiological problems using my nappy in bed.  What I was learning was to normalise being diapered.  Instead of an occasional treat, under my "24/7" regime, I was permanently diapered.  There's a lot to learn insofar as managing adult diapers and staying under the radar.

Over time, the frequency of my need to pee whilst in bed increased: whether this was due to advancing age or habituation to being diapered is a bit of an unknown.

What I "learned" related to routinely using my diaper in bed without thinking about it too much.  It became routine, normal for me.

I'm not 100% sure if I was aiming to become a bedwetter but as the early signs of it appeared, instead of being horrified (as I thought I might have been), I was relaxed and curious.  I allowed things to proceed.  I think where I am now is that I've realised that I WANT to need diapers at night but this want is yet another guilt source.  So far the "want" has defeated the "guilt" and I don't know if there is a way back?

That curiosity led me to start attempting to catch and measure bedwetting events and it was then I realised that doing so ran counter to them occurring.

That I'm a regular bedwetter now but still daytime continent has me thinking that incontinence and bedwetting are different animals.

[Unseendl]

Update #1

Happy New Year’s!

Hello all, it’s only been a short time I know, but as a starting mile-marker, I wanted to give my first update as close to the top of the month as I could. Since I’ve been doing a daily journal, I’ve been tracking A LOT of things and even in a short amount of time, I have noticed a few small changes in mental behavior and a couple of small events that are worth noting.

Short version:
Drinking lots of water is helping me wake up to wet, but depending on the time I wake up, determines whether or not I’ll actually be able to go back to bed. I’ve also been able to start breaking the habit of using “distraction tools” (phone, etc.) and partly work through concentrating on what my body is doing while it’s doing it. Understanding the “feel” is starting to really help.

Though I’m not going 24/7 yet, I’ve still been wearing 24/7 for just shy of a month and it already shows in how much I feel I can hold, before the urge hits. Its been nice to be able to practice wetting more outside of the bedroom, and I feel it has actually helped with that feel.

The longer version:

I’ve been drinking roughly about 24-30oz of water a night, and I have been trying to find a balance between sleeping aids (supplements) I’ve been taking with trying to force myself to wake up, wet and fall back asleep. I used to take two separate supplements, one to help me fall asleep quickly and then melatonin to help me stay asleep. Before this journey I was trying to get my body back into something of a “normal” sleep pattern because of what work and my lifestyle surrounding work does to my sleeping time-frame. I have found that different combinations of quantities of those two supplements and different amounts water will directly dictate if I wake at 2am with a mostly full but not too ackey of a bladder, or 5am with a screaming bladder. I cut back to no supplements and I’ve been able to wake up more consistently to attempt to go. This has ABSOLUTELY obliterated my recent sleep rhythm though. When I wake up to wet, the only times I seem to be able to fall back asleep is between the 2-3:30ish range. Anything past that, and I’m just awake. I expected this. I am also expecting to continue this for awhile… for now.

In increasing more and more water at night, I also find a weird correlation that my bladder is able to seemingly hold more and more at night, in comparison to when I’ve been feeling urge to go during the day. When sleeping, I lay on my back and am almost not able to go at all. What’s weird/frustrating is that in years past, I didn’t really need to try and focus too hard for too long, and I could get a reaction from my bladder that it knew it needed to release. That seems to be harder and harder this time around. Like @oznl commented about his experience, my diaper tracking and accounting may be leading to a lot of that. I’m just of the scientific mind and still want to test this hypothesis out for a month and change it for February if need be.

I’ve also been practicing just “feeling” what my body does when the urge comes on. Not just in my normal sitting/standing, but in all situations like laying down, driving, and sitting with close friends. Since I’ve been diapered pretty much for the month of December, it’s given me a lot of insight into my physiology for how my body is responding in different social and non-social situations and how/if I’m even able to consciously release in those situations. I have a pretty easy time In front of strangers, but I’ve always had a harder time in front of closer friends/family. My hope is that those concerns aren’t bleeding into my nighttime training. We shall see.

I should mention that my wife is 100% in support of what I am trying to accomplish and that has been a huge help. Even talking to her about how my progress is going, she isn’t shy to mention praises and show how happy she is that I’m doing that that is making me feel more normal and happier. Though I am bragging (just a little), I do feel that it’s a huge help knowing that if I do have a leak at night, it’s far from the end of the world and that’s a huge help!

[oznl]

5 hours ago, Unseendl said:

Short version:

Drinking lots of water is helping me wake up to wet, but depending on the time I wake up, determines whether or not I’ll actually be able to go back to bed. I’ve also been able to start breaking the habit of using “distraction tools” (phone, etc.) and partly work through concentrating on what my body is doing while it’s doing it.

When you say "go back to bed" does that mean you need to get OUT of bed to use your diaper?  For me, getting out of bed seems to flag to my body that sleep is over.  The very few times I've had to get out of bed during the night (things going "crash", power outages etc.), getting back to sleep has proved difficult or even impossible.  If you have to get out of bed to pee, that's really something you'll need to work on I would have thought.

5 hours ago, Unseendl said:

I’ve been drinking roughly about 24-30oz of water a night, and I have been trying to find a balance between sleeping aids (supplements) I’ve been taking with trying to force myself to wake up, wet and fall back asleep. I used to take two separate supplements, one to help me fall asleep quickly and then melatonin to help me stay asleep. Before this journey I was trying to get my body back into something of a “normal” sleep pattern because of what work and my lifestyle surrounding work does to my sleeping time-frame. I have found that different combinations of quantities of those two supplements and different amounts water will directly dictate if I wake at 2am with a mostly full but not too ackey of a bladder, or 5am with a screaming bladder. I cut back to no supplements and I’ve been able to wake up more consistently to attempt to go. This has ABSOLUTELY obliterated my recent sleep rhythm though. When I wake up to wet, the only times I seem to be able to fall back asleep is between the 2-3:30ish range. Anything past that, and I’m just awake. I expected this. I am also expecting to continue this for awhile… for now.

I've found that melatonin will help me fall asleep but not keep me there.

I also note that my vector towards bedwetting very much included frequent waking to pee. Overtime, the degree of wakefulness associated with these pee events began to decrease.  Paradoxically, a full bladder will wake me.  Bedwetting events seemed to start with me "forgetting" to wake up for a small 2:30am pee which took place anyway.  If I've wet the bed, it's wet before 3am.  Later pee events are more likely to be ones that I'm awake for.

5 hours ago, Unseendl said:

In increasing more and more water at night, I also find a weird correlation that my bladder is able to seemingly hold more and more at night, in comparison to when I’ve been feeling urge to go during the day. When sleeping, I lay on my back and am almost not able to go at all. What’s weird/frustrating is that in years past, I didn’t really need to try and focus too hard for too long, and I could get a reaction from my bladder that it knew it needed to release. That seems to be harder and harder this time around. Like @oznl commented about his experience, my diaper tracking and accounting may be leading to a lot of that. I’m just of the scientific mind and still want to test this hypothesis out for a month and change it for February if need be.

Muted bladder sensation and anemic flow rates seem to have come with the “24/7” territory and I can recall going through a phase were it actually became slightly harder.  It was less effort NOT to.  It seemed like it was a race between bladder shrinkage and bladder laziness: eventually shrinkage won.

The measurement thing (creating a "test environment" and trying to sleep) seemed to inhibit the degree of unthinking needed to stay asleep for a pee for me.

I think I mentioned earlier, I can't overstate the "helpfulness" of being a bit wet anyway before falling asleep was to me.  This, along with solid leak protection was a total game changer for me.  In the early days, this was a 100% prerequisite for subsequent sleep-wetting events.  It's as though your unconscious, listens to your bladder and says "well, we're wet anyway so whatever..."

5 hours ago, Unseendl said:

I should mention that my wife is 100% in support of what I am trying to accomplish and that has been a huge help. Even talking to her about how my progress is going, she isn’t shy to mention praises and show how happy she is that I’m doing that that is making me feel more normal and happier. Though I am bragging (just a little), I do feel that it’s a huge help knowing that if I do have a leak at night, it’s far from the end of the world and that’s a huge help!

This caught my attention.  My own wife is aghast at watch she sees as a potentially devastatingly embarrassing and inconvenient misadventure.  Her gritted-teeth tolerance (because I simply demanded that) has slowly given way to an air of resignation but she clearly wants to know nothing of “progress”.   She knows that I wet the bed now but it’s not a topic that can be brought up.  What is the rationale behind your partner actually supporting this venture if I may ask (you can choose not to answer)?  I wonder if there might be any insight there that I could use to try to salvage my own situation.

 

[stevewet]

Becoming a bedwetter again has been one of the best things for me. I am genuinely happier and more relaxed. I grew up a chronic nightly bedwetter and it never bothered me. I am convinced some of us are just meant to be this way. 

[Unseendl]

On 1/2/2023 at 4:54 PM, oznl said:

When you say "go back to bed" does that mean you need to get OUT of bed to use your diaper?  For me, getting out of bed seems to flag to my body that sleep is over.  The very few times I've had to get out of bed during the night (things going "crash", power outages etc.), getting back to sleep has proved difficult or even impossible.  If you have to get out of bed to pee, that's really something you'll need to work on I would have thought.

I've found that melatonin will help me fall asleep but not keep me there.

I also note that my vector towards bedwetting very much included frequent waking to pee. Overtime, the degree of wakefulness associated with these pee events began to decrease.  Paradoxically, a full bladder will wake me.  Bedwetting events seemed to start with me "forgetting" to wake up for a small 2:30am pee which took place anyway.  If I've wet the bed, it's wet before 3am.  Later pee events are more likely to be ones that I'm awake for.

Muted bladder sensation and anemic flow rates seem to have come with the “24/7” territory and I can recall going through a phase were it actually became slightly harder.  It was less effort NOT to.  It seemed like it was a race between bladder shrinkage and bladder laziness: eventually shrinkage won.

The measurement thing (creating a "test environment" and trying to sleep) seemed to inhibit the degree of unthinking needed to stay asleep for a pee for me.

I think I mentioned earlier, I can't overstate the "helpfulness" of being a bit wet anyway before falling asleep was to me.  This, along with solid leak protection was a total game changer for me.  In the early days, this was a 100% prerequisite for subsequent sleep-wetting events.  It's as though your unconscious, listens to your bladder and says "well, we're wet anyway so whatever..."

This caught my attention.  My own wife is aghast at watch she sees as a potentially devastatingly embarrassing and inconvenient misadventure.  Her gritted-teeth tolerance (because I simply demanded that) has slowly given way to an air of resignation but she clearly wants to know nothing of “progress”.   She knows that I wet the bed now but it’s not a topic that can be brought up.  What is the rationale behind your partner actually supporting this venture if I may ask (you can choose not to answer)?  I wonder if there might be any insight there that I could use to try to salvage my own situation.

 

The confusion is on my part, and I hadn't considered that "go back to bed" more definitely infers that you've gotten out of bed in the first place, which is not the case, instead of falling back asleep. I seem to have a direct association that "going to bed" ALWAYS means "going to sleep", and that definitely isn't always the case.

That's really odd that melatonin doesn't keep you asleep. As it was described to me by medical professionals, that while melatonin might help you fall asleep more quickly, it is meant to actually help keep you in a deeper sleep once you get there. The other supplement I take is Valerian Root (pill form) which is meant to help get you to to the deeper sleep quicker. So between the two, it's like driving a sports car to race to the land of delta waves.

I couldn't agree more about going to bed already wet. The times I do that, I do seem to have an easier time waking up in the middle of the night and letting go. I don't recall the Dry 24/7s doing nearly as well as they have for me this last month, but that also has made a huge positive mental difference. I have a couple of pairs of Gary Wear plastic pants from a few years ago, but I need to update those as the elastic has seemed to start drying out. I will say that when I wore them to bed over my diaper, I was even more mentally confident about doing what I was doing.

As for my partner (wife), she has, in true irony here, actually been managing nighttime enuresis for pretty much all of her life. We've known each other (coming up on 10 years this year), and it was in month 2 or 3 of us dating that I revealed that I was an ABDL/really into diapers. When I opened up to her, she opened up to me about her enuresis, and we just fit together even better after that. 

With that story said, I'm going to go out on a short limb and guess that your wife doesn't have quite the same experience as mine, and I think that's likely one of the key differences. I know I was cavalier with my word choice from above, but I feel like if you use the word "salvage", that tells me that it's been a losing fight, but hope might not all be lost. Speaking from my experience, and generally how each my wife and I are as people, we'll have heart-to-heart talks about this and other life-impacting things, and it honestly makes a difference. I've learned that she won't always come out and ask questions she might be thinking, so giving her an open safe place to do so lets her try and understand me/her a little better. This will seem a bit sappy, but we both made an agreement that no matter how a conversation/argument/discussion ends, we'll both tell each other that we love each other (which we do) and it always makes whatever comes next, that much better. Hopefully that might lead to something for you, but regardless just know that you have a community here that supports you!

16 hours ago, stevewet said:

Becoming a bedwetter again has been one of the best things for me. I am genuinely happier and more relaxed. I grew up a chronic nightly bedwetter and it never bothered me. I am convinced some of us are just meant to be this way. 

AMEN! ?️?

[Unseendl]

Update #2

The short version

I’m about 50/50 for waking up and wetting, but still consciously wetting. I’ve managed to gain a better mental understanding of my body’s process for “relaxing” when the urge hits, but still a heavily conscious effort. I’m now 24/7 for urinary incontinence and am super happy to be doing all of it! Journaling has been a good daily reminder and I had a huge epiphany session, when writing about my childhood constipation, which l feel has led to a lot of letting go of certain inhibitions @oznl.

The longer version

It has now “officially” been one full month. Technically one month and 20 days by count of when I started wearing in December 2022, but I hadn’t put myself in the correct mindset during that starting time period.

I have to confess that I am expanding my goals to no longer just be bedwetting, but now 24/7 with urinary incontinence. When I put that first diaper on in December, I knew I didn’t want to put any boxers back on ever. I was more curious to how long I could keep that part going, but I wasn’t aiming for 24/7. After the inspiration came for becoming a bedwetter, I felt the urge to just what wearing to work would be like. Then wearing around family again. After the first couple of weeks, and keeping the mindset of “if I’m diapered, I’m incontinent”, so I kept using my diaper everywhere I was no matter the situation, no matter the capacity. The challenges I though were going to be bigger, wound up being smaller.

With that level of confidence boost, I brought up my current journey with my psychologist, who’s been helping me over the last year with depression, and his response was so nonchalant that I almost felt ridiculous that I even brought it up. Though it was better that I did  as he way more concerned about what the waking up in the middle of the night was doing to my sleep pattern, than any concerns about becoming a bedwetter. It was a milestone moment, because not at this point, I am now “out” to 4 individuals in my life, and all have been supportive thus far.

Admittedly, a lot of the challenges and changes this month have been probably 80-90% mental, which does track with so many other reports and stories. I tracked 4 good/interesting milestones in various areas. The first was that I have started to make a good mental step towards not using “tools” (phone, music, other) in bed to trick my brain into relaxing enough to wet. Without distraction, it still takes me several minutes to find the right mental state of letting go, but I do usually get there.

The second marker was a actually the “interesting” note in that the early part of the month, the more I actively think about wetting while in bed, the more anticipation builds up and the harder time I have going. Throughout the rest of the month, I rode a wave were this got better and worse, depending on what kind of a day I had.

Milestone #3, even though I wasn’t waking up to wet every night, I’m at 48% nights waking up and wetting, while at 67% waking up and not wetting, for the whole month (so far). The better nights only happened a couple of times, and they were when I was still mostly primed to go back to sleep after having wet, but it felt fantastic in the morning. The BEST night I’ve had so far was when I decided to give stomach sleep-wetting a shot (I used to sleep on my stomach all the time), and after surprising myself, I was in just the right headspace to wake up, let go, feel the warmth fill up the front of my diaper, and then promptly go back to sleep. That morning I felt so amazing, I knew that what I’m doing is absolutely right for me.

The fourth biggest milestone is that by about mid-January, I had the conversation with myself that I was ready for 24/7 urinary incontinence after having demo’d it for a few weeks, and that changing when and where I needed to, is just now a fact of life now. I smiled and am still smiling about it today while I write this. I know there have been a few folks who have spoken in the past about there being a fairly strong connection between the day and night time wetting, and I’m starting to see how easily they can be connected.

Lastly, while [impressively to myself] keeping up with a daily journal, I had a really strong mental epiphany with my history of constipation. I wrote out a solid 1100 words on it, but I’m still not sure yet if it’s something I want to post publicly. All incontinence desires aside, this was one part of my life where continence was the key theme around what I actually was able to do or not do, during various parts of my childhood, and it really has shaped me, for some better but mostly worse, into a lot of who I am and my personality to go along with it. I will likely post it at a later time, but just the act of writing and thinking about was very therapeutic. Enough so that I think getting a lot of that off my chest really opened me up to the other adventures of going 24/7.

If you made it this far, thank you for reading and I hope some of this insight helps in some way!

[Hannah YMS]

On 1/27/2023 at 10:35 PM, Unseendl said:

Admittedly, a lot of the challenges and changes this month have been probably 80-90% mental

I have nothing to say other than you nailed it. This is largely a mental game. Physical is easy.

On 1/27/2023 at 10:35 PM, Unseendl said:

Milestone #3, even though I wasn’t waking up to wet every night, I’m at 48% nights waking up and wetting, while at 67% waking up and not wetting

What's your data on this? 48% + 67% is 115%, so you're estimation must be off. Do you have more correct data to support your percentages?

On 1/27/2023 at 10:35 PM, Unseendl said:

The BEST night I’ve had so far was when I decided to give stomach sleep-wetting a shot (I used to sleep on my stomach all the time), and after surprising myself, I was in just the right headspace to wake up, let go, feel the warmth fill up the front of my diaper, and then promptly go back to sleep. That morning I felt so amazing, I knew that what I’m doing is absolutely right for me.

I am a stomach sleeper and 100% of the time that I do wet I 100% of the time leak out the top front of my diaper. How is it you're not leaking sleeping on your stomach? I would REALLY love to know.

On 1/27/2023 at 10:35 PM, Unseendl said:

All incontinence desires aside, this was one part of my life where continence was the key theme around what I actually was able to do or not do, during various parts of my childhood, and it really has shaped me, for some better but mostly worse, into a lot of who I am and my personality to go along with it. I will likely post it at a later time, but just the act of writing and thinking about was very therapeutic. Enough so that I think getting a lot of that off my chest really opened me up to the other adventures of going 24/7.

This is a great way to express how 24/7 and incontinence training is very beneficial for you. I'm very happy for you that this has been a therapeutic journey, especially when journaling about it. When you report on DD what your progress is, you get to inform those who support you on your journey and we love reading about each other's progress. Thanks for sharing with us and I agree you should keep journaling, either on or offline.

[Unseendl]

21 hours ago, jonbearab said:

What's your data on this? 48% + 67% is 115%, so you're estimation must be off. Do you have more correct data to support your percentages?

Because of my awful explanation of what I'm tracking, you're right to question the numbers. The data that I'm gathering are technically 3 separate "Total Monthly Percentage". Hopefully the image comes through, but essentially it's going to be:

1. What % of the monthly did I wet during the night
2. If I woke up, did I do it and did I remember it?
3. Did I not either wakeup and remember/didn't wake up at all?

Ultimately what I expect to see long-term in trend, is that I start to wet more, and from remembering (waking up, consciously wetting and then falling back asleep) to not remembering and see an inverse trend in percentages. This is what I was describing earlier in my concerns about tracking the data that is might derail my progress. I'm honestly playing the long-game so we'll see if predicted trends happen, or if I need to abandon the tracking and let nature take its course to appease my subconscious. Worst case, it provides some evidence for the next person whether or not they want to track for themselves or not. 

 

21 hours ago, jonbearab said:

I am a stomach sleeper and 100% of the time that I do wet I 100% of the time leak out the top front of my diaper. How is it you're not leaking sleeping on your stomach? I would REALLY love to know.

I think the stars aligned and I hit the perfect scenario. IF the above image comes through, one of the red markers on the cells indicate that times that I spoke about, and the stomach wetting was only about a week ago. During that time, I had the catnip tea, I was pretty tired, and I drank roughly 26-32oz of water. I wear Dry 24/7s; they're the diaper I prefer for a couple of reasons 1) they have a wider front coverage that goes fairly high, and then into a waistband. 2) according the YouTube channel 'Real World Incontinence' they actually absorb about the right amount, that I drink before bed, in the front of the diaper. After awhile, I usually to flip back over to my back, which now exposes more diaper that can absorb. I think with those three factors, I had a successful night. Honestly, probably more of the diaper than anything else, but they fit me pretty darn well.

21 hours ago, jonbearab said:

This is a great way to express how 24/7 and incontinence training is very beneficial for you. I'm very happy for you that this has been a therapeutic journey, especially when journaling about it. When you report on DD what your progress is, you get to inform those who support you on your journey and we love reading about each other's progress. Thanks for sharing with us and I agree you should keep journaling, either on or offline.

Thank you for the support! For me, I have definitely benefited from the offline journaling, and honestly would recommend it as a self-reflection for anyone regardless if they're gong through this journey or not. I will likely share my chronic constipation story in a short while. Even if it helps one person realize they can overcome it, I'm going to count that as a win

 

[Unseendl]

Update #3 (3/4/23)

It’s been a busy month in all aspects of my life, but the highlights here include an understanding partner, dietary changes, work travel, and coming out to friends. Big update and a big read

Sorry to start off on a sad note, and I wont go into the full details of the story, but my wife and I had a miscarriage earlier in February and I had been juggling that with everything else. What helped each of us get past it was each other, and talking with several friends who had gone through the same thing. It’s a lot more common that what I had imagined. It doesn’t make it hurt less but there is comfort knowing that others do know what you’re going through. The part that relates to my journey is that after we found out she was pregnant and before the miscarriage, I had the straight forward question with her if she was still ok with me becoming incontinent while we become parents and would have a child in the house. She had actually already considered that question long before she knew she was pregnant (by months), and she still came to the same supportive conclusion that she had before. This was a huge mental burden that I didn’t really know I had until I was in the situation. I knew I was fine with it because it's just what I really want for myself, but I was glad to hear that there wasn’t any further concern on her end.

*Mild-graphic descriptions ahead*

Shifting gears into dietary findings, I had been experiencing mid constipation for the better portion of January and I needed to find a way to get relief from it. During the constipation spells, I would eventually be able to have a BM, but that was after week+ stints of trying and not being able to go. I did a couple of key things that I had thought I was doing right before, but clearly wasn’t. First, I noticed the fact that despite me drinking upwards of 40oz of water a day and another 24oz by night, I was always drinking filtered water from either our fridge or the filtered water at work. I was missing out on key electrolytes. I shifted to tap-water with ice in both locations, and supplementing some liquid intake with either an electrolyte drink of some kind, or more recently, coconut water. This was a big fist step into finally feeling movement in my stomach again. The second thing I added, was more fruit and veggitables into my diet. I thought I was getting enough fiber with the grains that I had been eating, but adding those two additional pieces bumped the “contraction” feeling more. Finally, I started added more yogurt into my morning breakfast routine. Normally that would make me more constipated, but I think with the added biotics, it’s actually helped correct some of the environment in my gut.

The bit that seems to have really now shifted for me, was that before 24/7 I was a 3 times-a-week regular. Now, it’s starting to become more on the daily, and the same of BMs are becoming smaller. This seems to track with what the 12 month program says should happen, along with what others have mentioned, but I still feel like there’s a ways to go to be more consistent with timing. The nice thing with becoming more regular again, is that it has relieved some of the tension in being able to release urine, that I was feeling during the last half of June and a majority of February. Bedwetting has become somewhat less difficult again, but it hasn’t helped too much during this part of my day.

/mild-graphic descriptions

Since the last update, I have opened up to a close friend, who is transitioning herself, and it felt pretty good to talk about it with someone else, however slightly it was. The odd part is that I actually had to explain what incontinence was. It doesn’t and wouldn’t surprise me that not everyone in the world knows and understands all of the details of incontinence, but usually there is some familiarization of at least the concept which is where my surprise was. I explained the simple concept of IC to her and she understands. I felt OK coming out to her with the true reason for wanting to become IC, mostly due to a least a certain level of mutual understanding that we don’t always feel like we are ourselves. That’s not to infer that each of us are struggling with the same issues, especially in the social context, but there is somewhat a level of understanding there. She was kind and supportive about it, it hasn’t made anything awkward between the two of us and we’ve actually shared a bit more about each other than we had in the long history of friendship.

Work has been especially busy this past month (hence the delay in update). But I did go on a short business trip with a couple of coworkers and colleagues. This was not my first business trip wearing 24/7. This was my first trip having this level of dedication to being incontinent/diaper-trained though. Knowing that we had a busy schedule and where going to be moving around from place to place, I had to plan ahead accordingly. Since I had developed a good changing schedule, I knew about how many diapers and supplies to pack and when I would be in need of a change. The hard part was finding the bathrooms/opportunities to do so. One of the things about this trip was that one of my coworkers is also a friend outside of work. Because of this, I knew there was a potential for an ally in my journey. Having failed to find the right time/place ahead of the trip to have the conversation with them about needing to wear “protection”, I did find the time on the trip to have that one on one. This person is very much a people person and cares about the individuals around them. Knowing this, I knew I would likely have an easy time coming out to them and when I did, they were as supportive and understanding as I would have thought and hoped they would be.  In addition to what I had told them, which was that for health reasons I will be needing to wear “protection” from now on, and he had actually been picking up on a couple of subtleties that something like this might have been up. He noticed several times that I would come back from the bathroom with my backpack (where I keep my supplies), where that was not usual before. The part that I didn’t really put two and two together, was when I was trying to sneak away to go and change, they wouldn’t make any comments and even during the trip there was an instance that they offered to take a few things off my hands, when I mentioned that I needed to use the bathroom and that I would meet up with the group in a few. After I came out to them, they offered any kind of support I felt I needed, which felt like a huge weight (that granted I had put on my shoulders) had been lifted. It was now known by a friend/coworker, and it wasn’t a big deal, and has made taking breaks for diaper changes at work, much less stressful.

In summary it was a big month with a lot of things happening. In the more recent days, since I’ve become somewhat regular again with BMs, finding the ability to relax has been a little bit easier. I’m still discovering that I had a tremendous mental blocker when it comes to wetting while in a group setting, but I’m making incremental progress towards getting over that. Another thing that has helped, has been whenever I feel the urge to need to pee, I internally reaffirm with myself that I am incontinent and I can’t hold it in. I’m starting to actually somewhat believe that, now that I’ve been at it for two months and it seems to be helping, little by little. Bedwetting seems to be taking several steps backwards, in regards to waking up at a consistent time, actually being able to wet without standing up or looking at my phone, and falling back to sleep if I can even wet. Bedwetting will be my white whale.

The last interesting piece for this update, is that I will, in a few days, release my childhood chronic constipation story. I don’t know how many others will be able to relate to any or all of my experience, but a piece of research I ran into just recently, is a condition called Anismus. Looking at a couple of medical websites, it describes very well a lot of things that have been going on in my digestive system and it could have been very easily been cause by my childhood battle. I’m going to do some more research into it and see if it’s something worth following up with my doctor about. If I do, it’ll be the first time to have the conversation of “I’m intentionally going incontinent” with them, so I’m guessing that it’ll be a slightly longer conversation than usual.

[oznl]

3 hours ago, Unseendl said:

Bedwetting seems to be taking several steps backwards, in regards to waking up at a consistent time, actually being able to wet without standing up or looking at my phone, and falling back to sleep if I can even wet. Bedwetting will be my white whale.

 

I'd suggest keep on at being wet on going to bed, well insulated against leaks and trust that your 24/7 regime will increase the number of wetting (learning) opportunities that occur every night.

I can recall having some success falling asleep with my pelvic floor "relaxed" in a kind of drip/dribble way.

There are many reliable anecdotes from this place that suggest that bedwetting is the FIRST kind of dependency to manifest itself but it takes time. 

[Unseendl]

5 hours ago, oznl said:

I'd suggest keep on at being wet on going to bed, well insulated against leaks and trust that your 24/7 regime will increase the number of wetting (learning) opportunities that occur every night.

This is something that I have not been keeping a good habit of. I keep timing my nighttime change to be right at bedtime, but I think I'm going to need to move it up an hour or so. Patience is definitely a virtue, and I have to keep reminding myself that I'm still early in the process in comparison to the whole journey 

[Enthusi]

 

13 hours ago, Unseendl said:

The odd part is that I actually had to explain what incontinence was.

More common than you might think. On a few occasions when describing to lay people that I wear an “incontinence brief” they look at me funny.  I’ve had to clarify, “I’m wearing an ADULT DIAPER” for it to click. 
 

13 hours ago, Unseendl said:

It was now known by a friend/coworker, and it wasn’t a big deal, and has made taking breaks for diaper changes at work, much less stressful.

Yup.  I haven’t had the need to tell coworkers but I’ve been in positions where I had to tell people that I hadn’t intended to tell at first, because we had gotten close and because of awkward bathroom moments.  My sister’s boyfriend comes to mind.   People are generally supportive and affirming, as I’m sure you’d be if they had a potentially embarrassing issue. 

[Unseendl]

6 hours ago, Enthusi said:

More common than you might think. On a few occasions when describing to lay people that I wear an “incontinence brief” they look at me funny.  I’ve had to clarify, “I’m wearing an ADULT DIAPER” for it to click. 

I personally think the word 'brief' is the odd-name out and would confuse more people than not, even when prefaced with 'incontinence'. I know discussions here and on other sites have been brought up many times before on this topic, but I still am approaching it seemingly the same method as how you laid it out, only I have used the word 'protection' in leu of 'brief'. I'm curious how many more people in my life I will need to explain the concept of Incontinence to ?

6 hours ago, Enthusi said:

Yup.  I haven’t had the need to tell coworkers but I’ve been in positions where I had to tell people that I hadn’t intended to tell at first, because we had gotten close and because of awkward bathroom moments.  My sister’s boyfriend comes to mind.   People are generally supportive and affirming, as I’m sure you’d be if they had a potentially embarrassing issue. 

I know it's getting better as time goes on, but I would hope that in this day and age, there is a better understanding by the majority of "wow, this person just shared something embarrassing and very personal about themselves, this is an 'off limits' topic with other people." That's my hope anyway. So far, so good. Hopefully your sister's boyfriend was in the supportive and affirming category! 

[Craig]

People need encouragement in their lives. For some of us, that might appear to be on weird pursuits, but if they bring pleasure and harm no one, so what?

That said, as a bedwetter, one thing you don't need to worry about is that nasty little hormone called ADH or anti-diuretic hormone or vasopressin. As I'm sure everyone knows, it slows down the production of urine when you're asleep -- which would seem to work against someone who wants to wet the bed. Don't try to mess with it. It is what it is. And you know what? It doesn't matter. I'm proof. I've always wet the bed, so it's a dud.

I was tested for various hormones many years ago was in my 20s. If I recall, that one is normal. And I still wet the bed. So, nobody with an MD after their name can figure it out. Don't expect to figure it out yourself or obsess over what you can't control.

There are plenty of great suggestions here from those who have successfully become what I am naturally and my bedwetting I've encouraged to continue. I can ramp it up further if I want to, but getting soaked most every night is fun enough. I don't even notice it. And that I think is the real key. Make it a habit. Consciously to begin with, but after some unknown amount of time, my bet is it will start happening in your sleep. Just a habit you form from repetition. Like the rest of our habits.

Consistency is the key, with reasonable, safe practices done over and over, and if you want to, you'll get there. And no goofy hormone will stop you. It sure didn't stop me. I admit I quit trying because it became fun. So, just have fun, even in your journey.