Signs of unpotty training readiness?

[Enthusi]

When it comes to potty training there are certain signs to look for to know that the toddler is ready for it and will be successful. 
 

What about the opposite? What are signs that an ABDL is ready for untraining and will be successful at it?  

Here are a few that come to my mind:

Willingness to wear a diaper even when it’s not fun or convenient. 

Being ready and able to have access to a diaper change at all times. 

Being able to discuss incontinence desires with intimate partners.  

Being okay with the likelihood that other household members will find out.  

Accepting you may need to access emergency medical services while diapered, and having some degree of comfort wearing a protective brief (pull-up or diaper) at doctors appointments.

Being able to afford diapers. 

Others?

 

[Little Belle]

Willingness to change your wardrobe to suit your need to wear nappies.

[steveg]

Being ok with pee running down your leg and being in a embarrassing situation 

[Kif]

I'd say:

• At minimum: Access to a social circle that can offer support
• Ideally: Access to therapy / mental healthcare

The biggest difference between this and 24/7 is that you have to be able to accept (and possibly forgive) yourself for doing this to your body. 

I thought I had come to peace with this stuff going in, but when the physicality of it hit me in an undeniable way, it still shook me to my core. The week after I posted about realizing I'd lost bowel control was rough, and I'm going through a similar patch again now. 

Don't get me wrong, I do not regret this; I'm happy with having gotten here!

But it is a tough journey, and reaching the summit isn't the end; you still have to climb back down, safely. I was super grateful to have had close friends and a therapist to help with the emotional work, and I wouldn't recommend doing this without that kind of support in your pocket.

[Enthusi]

3 hours ago, Kif said:

The biggest difference between this and 24/7 is that you have to be able to accept (and possibly forgive) yourself for doing this to your body. 

I can write an essay on this topic.  For years I have fantasized about getting a surgery to make myself permanently incontinent.  I know of others who have successfully undergone surgery.   And simply knowing that it was a possibility made my heart ache with envy. 

Most (aka nearly all) Urologists and surgeons understandably would never agree to do such a procedure as you are basically mutilating your body.  It’s kind of goes against the whole “do no harm“ mantra. My counter argument would be the psychological distress I have from being potty trained is way more harmful than the procedure.  But I totally get why they wouldn’t see it my way.  

These days I don’t have much desire to get surgery only because of my success with intensive behavioral techniques. My external urinary sphincter is nonfunctional even if the muscle is intact.  yet, if I was offered the opportunity to have a surgery, I would still take it to assure that it’s final. 

I can only speak from my personal experience, but I suspect I was successful in my untraining because my desire to be in incontinent was (is) so intense that I would willingly “mutilate” my body to make it happen. And I suspect it’s same with others. 

I told you, I could write an essay on the topic! ??

[Kawaharu]

Being comfortable in diapers

Being open about being diapered and comfortably being diapered out in the open and around people.

Being able to pee and potty in diapers without even thinking about it

[Hannah YMS]

It's as simple as placing yourself in the shoes of someone who's as incontinent as you'd like to be. And then dealing with all the issues they have to deal with, with regards to their incontinence. It's an eye of the beholder thing in this particular context. I suspect that, like many, my ideal version of incontinence is simply uncontrolled "aware" wetting. I want to know when I urinate, I just don't want to be able to control it... AT ALL. Maybe there's a hint of humiliation factor thrown in there. The heart pounding awareness that you could be caught at any time, but through "no fault" of your own? But you'll know the truth. You don't have to say the truth anyway.

Things like that.

[BabyBoi91]

Some of this has been echoed above, but i would say:

1) having an understanding of oneself that this is what you really want

and it’s ok if this takes time. Heck part of the process imo is this understanding crystallizing. 

But I think that many of us agree that the biggest hang ups are mental. And I think many of those “mental barriers” go away once you realize: “No, this is right for me. This is what I want. I know this.” 
 

fantasy is fun and has its place, absolutely. And desire also plays a role in our lives. But once you have that level of “clarity” about wanting change, then I the change can happen rather quickly, because the mind and body are ready.

[Hannah YMS]

Agreed with @BabyBoi91, the mental game is the most challenging aspect. Everyone is physically ready to untrain at any moment (barring a medical barrier), but to actually live as an incontinent person, to the best of your ability, requires a lot of work.

For example, it's not just as simple as changing my diaper on the morning of Thanksgiving (US) and proceeding about my day, it's about packing a diaper bag, making sure there's enough extra diapers, powder, wipes, gloves, trash bags, etc., and then taking it with me and driving an hour away for Thanksgiving dinner at family's house, only to need it when I have to change, possibly exposing my bag to family (and then to answer questions as to why I needed a backpack in the bathroom), etc., the list goes on. All part of the process as seeing ourselves incontinent.

I find it interesting that the only way to get what we want is to do what trans people have to do: live our desired lifestyle. The good news is, we can ease into it.

I have a friend in Discord and Tumblr whose mental health is declined and they've been teetering on the balance between purging and going 24/7 for months now. I keep nudging them toward the 24/7 lifestyle because it's what they want, but they don't want to work for it. Part of working for it requires placing on your shoulders the stigma and social context that comes with wearing diapers, for need or for pleasure.

If you're not ready, then ease into it. If you can't do that, then don't do it. Otherwise, do. And when you do, commit. Even I cheat every so often and get lazy and don't wear a diaper to bed, and that's ok, because it's the journey that you need. Once you commit 100%, then results will likely be obtained faster than you anticipated.

Edited November 25, 2022 by jonbearab
Incomplete post. Grammar.

[BabyBoi91]

I think for I was once at a point where I was “seeing myself as incontinent,” but I think even that was a form of denial (about what I wanted and about where I really was at). 
 

now it’s about accepting that I really am incontinent (bladder and bowel), and I just need to not fight it, and work on managing it well.