Existential Thoughts on Incontinence

[FretaBWet]

I thought this subforum would be the best place to air my thoughts on my incontinence and how I became that way. I've been looking back lately at my life and questioning how I got here. I'm not talking about accepting that I'm incontinent or accepting that I'm in diapers full time. I'm happy with where I am.

I know everyone in this subforum knows how difficult it is for a continent person to lose their continence. It's a long hard process that takes research, practice, work, practice and more practice. This was the thought I had that made me think then how did I get here without trying? I was trying to not be incontinent, I wanted to be able to enjoy being diapered but not dependent on them. So how did I end up depending on them?

One thing I've learned over my lifetime is if you really want something bad enough you will eventually get it. It could be anything from a career to a body type. Believing that a person can do or achieve anything, and knowing I'm in diapers permanently because I'm incontinent I began to question how bad I really wanted to keep my continence.

I'm really begining to see clearly that my conscious mind has always told me that I need to do everything to stay continent while I suspect my unconscious mind laughing evily was always plotting a certain end to it. It's like watching the battle of opposing wills on a rerun and knowing the end in advance. Obviously the evidence shows a decisive win by the subconscious over the conscious mind.

My earliest diaper urges we're as a toddler. I was a heavy bed wetter until I was 17 and I wet my pants often. I knew diapers would make me more comfortable at night but my mother never used them on me. I fantasized about my mother putting me back in diapers because that was better than where I was. I can say that my desire to be back in diapers was ever present.

When I hit puberty I was using a yellow rain poncho as makeshift plastic pants when I had my first orgasm. I had never been told the facts of life and I thought I had some kind of health attack. I was still wishing to get put back into diapers.

As an adult I still had issues with incontinence even though I was dry at night. I just used the techniques I learned as a child to help with small accidents. I went to a major hospital for a full continence exam and was found to be urge incontinent and an overactive bladder. These were the exact same issues I had as a child. My continence just kept getting worse over time despite my thinking I was doing everything right to keep what I had. Giving my conscious mind something to focus on and occupy it was my unconscious mind's first trick. While I'm busy thinking I'm working to stay continent my subconscious is busy undermining me relentlessly.

Again, I'm happily diapered and I'm not needing advice or validation. I just thought this might be fun to voice and see what other people thought about this concept.

Hugs,

Freta

[Hannah YMS]

Some of my thoughts on untraining and incontinence...

The so-called "12 month program", in my opinion, sets most of us up for expectations that, anecdotally, seem unrealistic. I've seen more people struggle to untrain after 1, 2, 3 or more years without "success" (subjective in this case). I'm approaching 2 years and the best I've got is a bladder that doesn't release when I tell it to and post-void dribble. Back in the early days of untraining I bladder was more hyperactive, but much less so these days. At night I still never wet but I am getting better at being half-asleep and going while on my back or my stomach.

Incontinence, for me, feels like a pipe dream--something I can only dream of. And it's frustrating. I'd swallow that pill in a heartbeat if I could.

And in lieu of being a total downer, I am happy that some of us on this forum achieve their goals. It gives me confidence that someday I might achieve mine.

Edit: my profile says that I'm incontinent, but that was my first step towards untraining. "Identifying" as incontinence to make my wishes manifest. So far, no bueno.

[Enthusi]

8 hours ago, jonbearab said:

The so-called "12 month program", in my opinion, sets most of us up for expectations that, anecdotally, seem unrealistic. I've seen more people struggle to untrain after 1, 2, 3 or more years without "success" (subjective in this case). I'm approaching 2 years and the best I've got is a bladder that doesn't release when I tell it to and post-void dribble. Back in the early days of untraining I bladder was more hyperactive, but much less so these days. At night I still never wet but I am getting better at being half-asleep and going while on my back or my stomach.

I so cannot wait to have the chance to write up my technique, an alternative to the 12-month program.   I’ll be teaching a class on it at Capcon 2022 if anyone is going.  

My technique is a fundamentally different approach.  It starts with identifying your enemy: “Bladder Control”. 

Next you need to learn everything about your enemy to identify its weaknesses. This means learning how bladder control  works and knowing all the parts that go into maintaining bladder control. This not only includes your bladder, but all the nerves, reflexes, learned, conditioned behaviors, and maybe even your basic assumptions.  

With our targets identified we can then use the right “weapon” to take it out. You hit each target simultaneously and relentlessly. Your weapons include self talk, hypnosis, muscle relaxation, sensate focusing, and of course behavioral conditioning.  There’s no timeline, and you are encouraged to have fun exploring what works best for you! 
 

@FretaBWet Sorry didn’t mean to hijack your thread!   You bring up some amazing points. In some ways I’m your exact opposite.  I used to have normal bladder control, which I systematically destroyed (see above). And yet here we are, still on this bizarre journey, together! ?

[Hannah YMS]

12 minutes ago, Enthusi said:

I so cannot wait to have the chance to write up my technique, an alternative to the 12-month program.   I’ll be teaching a class on it at Capcon 2022 if anyone is going.  

My technique is a fundamentally different approach.  It starts with identifying your enemy: “Bladder Control”. 

Next you need to learn everything about your enemy to identify its weaknesses. This means learning how bladder control  works and knowing all the parts that go into maintaining bladder control. This not only includes your bladder, but all the nerves, reflexes, learned, conditioned behaviors, and maybe even your basic assumptions.  

With our targets identified we can then use the right “weapon” to take it out. You hit each target simultaneously and relentlessly. Your weapons include self talk, hypnosis, muscle relaxation, sensate focusing, and of course behavioral conditioning.  There’s no timeline, and you are encouraged to have fun exploring what works best for you! 
 

@FretaBWet Sorry didn’t mean to hijack your thread!   You bring up some amazing points. In some ways I’m your exact opposite.  I used to have normal bladder control, which I systematically destroyed (see above). And yet here we are, still on this bizarre journey, together! ?

I have contemplated on starting a wiki on a domain addressing the various techniques to untrain, would you be willing to add your insights on a public forum such as a wiki?

[Enthusi]

5 hours ago, jonbearab said:

I have contemplated on starting a wiki on a domain addressing the various techniques to untrain, would you be willing to add your insights on a public forum such as a wiki?

Heck yeah!

[Hannah YMS]

1 hour ago, Enthusi said:

Heck yeah!

Awesome!

[DLJeff52]

@FretaBWet  Sorry it took me so long to reply to this post.  When I first read it I wanted to reply but got distracted.  Thanks for sharing a "retrospective" on where you are today.  The thing that stood out to me the most was the notion of subconscious vs conscious and the battle between them.  I truly believe that I'm stuck in that similar battle.  For reasons I, like others, could probably unpack, my conscious mind says continence is required, but my inner being yearns to not have control.  I understand those who do not have the choice over continence would rightly chide me for having this desire given their physical condition, but I also think that having this choice is critical to what I'm trying to achieve.  For me, the choice provides a release, coping mechanism, escape or outlet for stress and anxiety.  Allowing myself to lose 'control' provides a space of relief for the many areas of life where I feel anxiety and pressure to have control.  There is work pressure, family pressure and just general life pressures that generate a false expectation that I 'should' or 'need' to control how things work in these areas.  I know in my head that I don't have complete control in these areas, but there is a measure of worth that comes with succeeding in these arenas and to succeed you need to 'control' outcomes.  Being able to pursue untraining allows me a space where I can turn everything upside down and allow the absence of control to not only be ok, but a measure of success.  

More than perhaps you were looking for from your sharing, but thank you for stimulating the thought that has helped me make even greater peace with my own journey!

[FretaBWet]

@DLJeff52I love the fact that this is simply a discussion and I don't have expectations when I post in this thread. Every one of us is unique and by virtue of that fact each of us brings something different to the table. When we all get to share freely we end up with a banquet.

Hugs,

Freta