Distracted

[Arceus]

What do you all do to distract yourself from worrying about the future  ??  Help you stay in the present and positive?  I just sometimes focus mainly on future worries and concerns instead of staying in the present and enjoying what I have. Or I see my friends lives move on but then I am just stuck where I am at I guess is part of it. What do you do to help with it all? 

[DailyDi]

I have trouble focusing, but as I've gotten older the "enjoying what I have" thing has gotten easier. My budget is extremely tight, but I rarely long for things anymore and am simply content with what I have.

[Little Cub Pants]

43 minutes ago, DailyDi said:

I have trouble focusing, but as I've gotten older the "enjoying what I have" thing has gotten easier. My budget is extremely tight, but I rarely long for things anymore and am simply content with what I have.

Interesting!??? Do you know WHY that IS Buddy, why you're SO content at an old age?!???? Well, (middle-aged.)??? LOL!??????

[CodHero24]

You need to be asking yourself questions, constantly.

What do you want to do in the future?

And what are you doing TODAY to secure those dreams?

[~Brian~]

20 hours ago, DailyDi said:

I have trouble focusing, but as I've gotten older the "enjoying what I have" thing has gotten easier. My budget is extremely tight, but I rarely long for things anymore and am simply content with what I have.

@DailyDi

I hear you all the way: my problem is that there's sometimes when I worry about things that are kind of crazy: I used to worry about what people thought what people said what people believed, and I used to worry about that, or worry that I would make a mistake and people would think less of me because of that mistake. As I have gotten older, I have gotten to the point where I understand that I am who I am, and nothing is going to change that I don't want someone to try to quote change me into someone else" that they want to be, or they want me to be, because I am who I am. I guess the reason why I was so worried about that is because I was trying to do the best I could while trying to be like someone else. It's good to be like someone else, or want to be like someone else, or strive to be or achieve as much as someone else, but that is not reality, and you have to understand that you have your own limits and your own dreams your own aspirations and things that make you special. 

You should always try to be the best you can be, and not worry about what someone else did. A good example of this is all through school. I could never get good grades - I was getting the A's in the wrong classes: I was getting them in music, art, gym, and other types of classes that don't really count for academic study. I was always compared to somebody up the street. My parents would take a "progress report"  and turn that into like a pre report card. My mother would ask what each of the actual designations meant, and she would turn that into a grade scale. So if I got very good that was an A, needs improvement would be an F.  All year long I tried to get better grades than I always did, but in elementary school it was always very hard to do that. The teacher wouldn't give too much as far as extra credit, and if he did, it didn't really improve my grade very many times, and I'd end up with an F in several of my classes through my school career, and that meant that my summer was gone, or that I had to study harder. In one move I retaliated against the system: for three months I didn't do any homework whatsoever, especially after my birthday in may, most  of the time I was always bringing 90% of my work home so why in heck even go to school - my problem was that I wasn't getting any work done, and most of the time when that happened, I would end up taking the work home and end up doing it at home. I got so fed up with having so much work to do that I just didn't take any home for about 3 months. When the teacher would ask me why I did that, I told him and her that I'm sick and tired of having so much homework that I can't have any fun at home - I'm already in trouble as it is, even when you tell me a progress report is a progress report, my parents turned it into a report card, so even improvement doesn't change their attitude, so I'm constantly doing homework at home and not doing anything else during the weekdays. I asked the teachers to lessen my homework load because of the fact that it was harder for me to be able to deal with the day-to-day operations in school. I suppose the reason I did that was to force the teachers to realize that in order for me to be able to function in school, they can't just kick me out of the classroom whenever they felt like it. I finally won that argument when I finally had the IEP Team, review mine and remove any mention of removing me from class for what they considered bad behavior. I contended that there designation of "bad behavior" was wrong, and I was technically getting sick again and kicked out of class, and not getting any help at all with my homework. I threatened them with not doing any work at all unless they met with my team and removed all restrictions against me that they used to control me. I then told them that they need to also help me so that I can have a life just like every one of my other friends that goes home at night does a little bit of homework and goes out and has fun with his friends. When I go home at night, I told them that I just did homework from the time I hit the floor, until almost six or seven o'clock, then went to bed and we did it all over again the next day, so there was no fun for me involved in it at all.

It took me almost two years into my high school career to be able to get the first Recognition Award for good grades. My mother then asked me why it took me so long to get there, and I just basically said that the reason was that there was no incentive to get any better grades, because every time I'd come home I'd always be compared with somebody else. The idea is that you're not supposed to be compared to everyone else, you end up doing your best and that is all that should be expected of you period of course you should be push to excel in what you're doing, but not to the point where you're worried about your grades being higher than someone else is. Some people cannot get to that level because of things that bother them, or because of their disability. I don't like to use my disability as a reason for what happened, but sometimes you have to in order to get ahead I just don't like when I was compared to somebody else, and I am who I am, and they were who they were.

Nowadays, I don't have to worry about this type of stuff because I am who I am, do things the way I want to do them, and I don't have to worry about peoples responses unless of course they have a question about how I do things- I've proven myself to everyone that I need to, so there's nothing that I need to show them. I don't have to worry about what other people will think, because I have proven to those people that I can do a good job, and have done it over and over. An example of this is this weekend: I did a two day sale on Friday and Saturday: we opened at 9:00 AM both days and were closed by two. My friend came home from vacation in Florida this past week, and told me that she was going to do a " outside sale" where we put product outside the church, and people will come in and buy it. We were so successful this weekend, and the weather was so nice even though it was warm, that we will probably do that again next Friday and Saturday - If In did my math right we had a pretty good total from all of the times I've been open since we started at the end of March.

I have been under a lot of stress lately: the thrift store had been closed since March of 2020: so there goes two years of our time that we would have been able to be open if the pandemic hadn't struck: because of that, we have been closed, and the church has been waiting patiently for the authorization to be able to resume several types of activities. This will depend on the pandemic status, and how things are going, but we finally were able to open on Saturdays for now from 9 to 2 for these outside sales, and I will do that again next Saturday, and then normal hours on Saturdays are 10 to noon. We will continue to run this way until we are able to get enough volunteers to run during the week. I had my friend come visit me through the week last week. I spent time with him on Tuesday. The weekend prior I ended up spending it with my parents on my 50th birthday, prior to that I was dealing with COVID-19 quarantine because of a antigen test, and before that I would have gone with my brother the weekend before to New Hampshire for a weekend - but that test became positive, so I had to stay home. There are three of us that started the thrift store: apparently my friend had asked my manager, myself and one of the trustees to hold a meeting, wear him myself and my manager we're talking about the current situation. I told my friend several times that everything that he had been hearing has been coming from other people, and I'm running the store the best I can, and I don't have all of my staff available, nor do I know some of the things I need to worry about in order to run the store the way I did. Let me tell you, after he left on Tuesday night, he must have gone down to the church and talked to some people, because on Friday this week, he watched me do the sale, and he told me said he wanted to speak with one of my volunteers, who happens to be the head of the church Finance Committee: he had a discussion with her, and then came downstairs and told me that he was proud of me, and whatever my colleague said to him, he was very happy and I don't have to worry anymore about the founder or the manager being upset with the way that they are operating now. I am just glad that I can run at all, because for months I have not known what I was allowed to do and what I was not allowed to do, because they changed the mission and the way the store operates so I have been distracted for several months as I try to deal with this.

I have always tried to be the one who tried my hardest to get somewhere in life. It is not necessarily always possible to be perfect in everything you do, but it is possible to try the hardest you can, and sometimes you succeed sometimes you fail. My main concern is that I try to do my very best, and make myself happy, do what I think is right, and do what I want to do, rather than worrying about what everybody else thinks about what I do what I say and what I think. For years I have always been compared to somebody else - whether it be scholastic ability, Technical abilities, physical ability, or grades. In school, I did the best I could, and that wasn't always the best as far as grades went, but I did it anyway. I was always compared to somebody else because my parents wanted me to be able to get better grades too, so I always worked harder, but sometimes working harder would depress me and distract me from the overall goal. 

Nowadays, I am happy with what I have: I understand that there are some people that strive for things, or want things because they're there. This week I ended up purchasing a surface go 3. Part of the reason for this was because of me being depressed, run right down to almost nothing, worrying about my future doing what I do best: after my colleague spoke to us about things, everything calmed down, and things are going well. People might think I'm crazy, because I love my technology, I've always liked it, and you know what, my parents have always helped me with technology and I appreciate everything they've done, but if something happens and they're not able to do it anymore, I have to do it the way I have to do it in order to make sure that I have what I need to succeed. This also means that there are sometimes when having a piece of technology is fun to have, and you don't have to worry anymore.

So in this case I will "Be Like Mike". And enjoy what I have and the time that I have spent: 'cause it's a lot easier than worrying about everything under the sun.

When I look back at what I have done since 2018 or 2019, I'm damn glad that I am here: daily diapers has been one of the best things that have ever had happened to me, because one of my major worries is gone: I have incontinence I have accepted it, like diapers, accepted that, and I have a lot of people who I have to thank for that and I'm thankful that that's one less thing that I have to worry about. Not only that, but it keeps me in a state of mind that says, everything is OK roll with it, enjoy it, embrace it!

Brian

Edited May 15, 2022 by ~Brian~
finished interrupted post

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, CodHero24 said:

You need to be with is "wsking yourself questions, constantly.

What do you want to do in the future?

And what are you doing TODAY to secure those dreams?

@CodHero24

I think @DailyDi Has had trouble sleeping the last few nights. Where he probably will be questioning himself with is "Why can`t I get any sleep lately?". I think in his future that's probably what he is wondering and worrying about now. I wish I could help you myself Mikey, but all I can say is if you have a good day, and you are able to relax, that is one way to help you be able to sleep period you can't really be tight or agitated or have a headache or any of that, because that will make it harder for you to be able to achieve long term sleep for at least a few hours. Because of my CP, sometimes I have to take my pain medicine in order to make everything relax. Headaches are the worst, because they can keep you up and make everything hurt, and the second thing is your sinus is when they're all plugged or you're coughing your head off

Brian