Long term diaper usage and bladder changes

[jaytay]

Hi everyone,

Like many others during the Covid-19 pandemic, I’ve been wearing and using diapers a lot more frequently while working remotely from home. I’m not completely 24/7, and often take short 1-2 day breaks, but for the better part of the last year or so, I’ve been fully padded and using my diaper whenever I have the urge to pee (I still use the potty for #2). I’ve gone through many 24/7 stints, usually lasting 1-2 weeks at most before I end up taking a break, then back at it again.

These past few weeks, I’ve noticed how hard it is for me to pee in the toilet when I’m on one of my breaks. I get the urge to pee very often when I’m out of diapers, pretty much any time I drink anything, and when I go to the toilet, it often takes a few minutes before I can get the stream going. When I do finally pee, the stream is usually pretty weak, and I don’t feel like I’ve completely emptied, and I soon get the urge to go again and the cycle repeats. It’s gotten so annoying that I just put on a diaper so I stop running to the bathroom so much. I relax whenever I get an urge to pee while padded, and I often don’t even notice the urge to pee since the relaxation reflex has gotten stronger, and I feel a lot more comfortable when diapered because of it.

I would say my bladder has become much more accustomed to being diapered, and I’m starting to think I’ve become “diaper trained,” since using a toilet has become much more of a nuisance than a diaper. I don’t think I’m incontinent, but I do think my bladder has changed from prolonged diaper wearing/usage. Has anyone else experienced a change like this? If I keep wearing like this, do you think it’s possible I will become incontinent?

[happyindprs]

Not too sure on that one although I do believe you will become diaper dependent. This is to say that you will become so comfortable peeing whenever instead of holding urine that venturing out without a diaper will surely result in a wetting accident. One or two embarrassing accidents and you will welcome full time diaper wearing just to make sure. 

[oznl]

A bit over 2.5 years worth of 24/7 wearing here.  Most of the story is on my “Strange Days” thread.

It’s certainly been the case for me that my body quickly got used to going in diapers and it became (and remains) disturbingly easy to use them anywhere, anytime with little to no thought.  I've said before, if wetting yourself was an Olympic sport, I'd be a gold medalist.

I’ve also noticed that my peeing has become highly abnormal with a VERY weak, dribbly flow that in a way similar to that you describe, is episodic.  I will pee a bit, drip for a bit, pee some more, drip some more.  Normally this is disguised by being diapered and doesn’t cause any inconvenience as I let that happen without pausing whatever it is I have to be doing.  My PSA scores are tested regularly by my Dr and are normal so this is unlikely to be due to an underlying, undiagnosed condition.

I’m still somewhat continent though during the day.  I can go without diapers if I need to but using a toilet is slow, painful and a bit messy because my flow is now so bad, it tends to dribble down there rather than exit cleanly to launch into the bowl.  I also don’t have much range and urgency is a thing.

The “gotcha” so far has been nighttime.  I became a bed wetter after a bit over a year  of not bothering to manage things at night.  Once again, this was disguised by my diapers.  Once I was CERTAIN this was happening, it had probably been happening for months and months on and off.  As it occurs whilst I’m asleep, I’ve no idea how to make it UNhappen (so I haven’t).  It will by now also happen even if I'm NOT wearing a diaper (I tested this).  I’m sure it’s 100% behavioral and not physiological but the net result is the same.

[jaytay]

3 hours ago, happyindprs said:

Not too sure on that one although I do believe you will become diaper dependent. This is to say that you will become so comfortable peeing whenever instead of holding urine that venturing out without a diaper will surely result in a wetting accident. One or two embarrassing accidents and you will welcome full time diaper wearing just to make sure. 

Thanks for the response! I would love to eventually become diaper dependent, and feel like it’s inevitable at some point. So far, I haven’t had any major accidents out in public, but I’ve been wearing pull ups when I go out to deal with my dribbles, which have become more frequent and larger this past year.

1 hour ago, oznl said:

I’ve also noticed that my peeing has become highly abnormal with a VERY weak, dribbly flow that in a way similar to that you describe, is episodic.  I will pee a bit, drip for a bit, pee some more, drip some more.  Normally this is disguised by being diapered and doesn’t cause any inconvenience as I let that happen without pausing whatever it is I have to be doing.

I’m still somewhat continent though during the day.  I can go without diapers if I need to but using a toilet is slow, painful and a bit messy because my flow is now so bad, it tends to dribble down there rather than exit cleanly to launch into the bowl.  I also don’t have much range and urgency is a thing.

Yes this sounds very similar to my experience! Being diapered makes the urge/pee/dribble cycle a non issue really, since I can go about my day without even thinking about it. When I take a break and wear regular underwear (which is becoming more infrequent - usually have at least a pull up on), I frequently notice the need to pee, can barely pee when I get to the toilet, and end up with a fair bit of dribble stains afterward. Pull ups definitely help with the dribbles, and I’ve been wearing them more frequently when out in public just in case the dribbles get too big to be noticeable.

I haven’t yet had any nighttime accidents of a big magnitude, but have woken up while peeing sometimes at which point my bladder instinctively clenches  these accidents are very rare though, and most mornings I wake up completely dry. Hoping this will change someday soon

[oznl]

53 minutes ago, jaytay said:

I haven’t yet had any nighttime accidents of a big magnitude, but have woken up while peeing sometimes at which point my bladder instinctively clenches  these accidents are very rare though, and most mornings I wake up completely dry. Hoping this will change someday soon

My standard advice here is to (paradoxically) go to bed already wet.  Not soaked obviously, but a bit wet.  This seems to prime some kind of subconscious pump by creating a "well, I'm wet anyway..." environment.

For a long time, my habit was to empty my bladder every time I woke during the night (for me, I wake a few times).  After a while, when I was wet anyway, it all started getting a bit blurry and then I started noticing that sometimes my morning nappies seemed to be a lot wetter than I could recall making them and I had limited or no recollection of using them.

Then I started noticing that I was frequently waking up with an already-empty bladder.

At this point the slope steepened and after a long drift, things gathered pace.

All I can say is that the first time you decide to test yourself sans diaper and wake up at 3am, confused by cold wet sheets around you, it's quite a strange kind of headspace you find yourself in.

[DAQ]

To answer your question. I completely think that it is possible to become diaper dependent with or without intending to become incontinent. However I do not think you are there yet but ell on your way.

I went looking through his blog but I couldn't find it. A user here@Kaliborio (Big fan btw) has described diaper training (planned or otherwise) as a hill. On one side it takes more effort to have less control and on the other more effort to gain control. If you do not desire diaper dependence it is not too late. So long as you haven't started bed wetting it sounds like nothing that has happened is irreversible. It will take time and probably a total abstinence of diapers for the time being.

Good luck on your decision either way.

[Stroller]

I don't really know whether I'm dependent or not, as I've not tried to stop myself wetting for the past 3 years. If my body decides it needs to wet, then it just happens these days, as long as I'm awake.  I rarely get any urgency at all - only on the rare occasion I've been squashing my urethra so the flow couldn't happen (eg sitting on a hard chair for a long time).  I'd be surprised if I still had full control though - I've not been using those muscles for a long time.  Occasionally I'll decide to deliberately wet, for instance if we're going out for a while I'll wet on purpose just before a nappy change.  All I have to do though is to stand still for a few seconds and think about wetting and it starts.  Or I run a tap and then I don't even need to think about it - I'll wet for sure if there's anything in my bladder.

Unlike oznl I've yet to wet in my sleep.  That doesn't bother me one way or the other.  If I wet I wet, and if I don't I don't.  I don't want any responsibility for it, either way.

[jaytay]

15 hours ago, oznl said:

My standard advice here is to (paradoxically) go to bed already wet.  Not soaked obviously, but a bit wet.  This seems to prime some kind of subconscious pump by creating a "well, I'm wet anyway..." environment.

For a long time, my habit was to empty my bladder every time I woke during the night (for me, I wake a few times).  After a while, when I was wet anyway, it all started getting a bit blurry and then I started noticing that sometimes my morning nappies seemed to be a lot wetter than I could recall making them and I had limited or no recollection of using them.

Then I started noticing that I was frequently waking up with an already-empty bladder.

At this point the slope steepened and after a long drift, things gathered pace.

All I can say is that the first time you decide to test yourself sans diaper and wake up at 3am, confused by cold wet sheets around you, it's quite a strange kind of headspace you find yourself in.

I will start doing that! I usually change right before bed, so i’m usually dry before going to bed. It would be amazing to wake up with an empty bladder, but I can imagine that waking up to cold sheets sans diapers would be jarring haha

14 hours ago, DAQ said:

To answer your question. I completely think that it is possible to become diaper dependent with or without intending to become incontinent. However I do not think you are there yet but ell on your way.

I went looking through his blog but I couldn't find it. A user here@Kaliborio (Big fan btw) has described diaper training (planned or otherwise) as a hill. On one side it takes more effort to have less control and on the other more effort to gain control. If you do not desire diaper dependence it is not too late. So long as you haven't started bed wetting it sounds like nothing that has happened is irreversible. It will take time and probably a total abstinence of diapers for the time being.

Good luck on your decision either way.

Yeah I don’t think Im quite diaper dependent yet, and certainly not incontinent, but I really hope I’m well on my way

I’m also a huge fan of Kaliborio’s blog! I haven’t seen that analogy before but it makes sense. I will likely keep wearing to see if diaper dependence will happen, it’s been a long time dream of mine, but I’ve always felt like it’s out of reach for me. I’m also way too comfortable in diapers to give them up completely haha

5 hours ago, Stroller said:

I don't really know whether I'm dependent or not, as I've not tried to stop myself wetting for the past 3 years. If my body decides it needs to wet, then it just happens these days, as long as I'm awake.  I rarely get any urgency at all - only on the rare occasion I've been squashing my urethra so the flow couldn't happen (eg sitting on a hard chair for a long time).  I'd be surprised if I still had full control though - I've not been using those muscles for a long time.  Occasionally I'll decide to deliberately wet, for instance if we're going out for a while I'll wet on purpose just before a nappy change.  All I have to do though is to stand still for a few seconds and think about wetting and it starts.  Or I run a tap and then I don't even need to think about it - I'll wet for sure if there's anything in my bladder.

Unlike oznl I've yet to wet in my sleep.  That doesn't bother me one way or the other.  If I wet I wet, and if I don't I don't.  I don't want any responsibility for it, either way.

I certainly know what you mean about running water.. literally can have no urge at all and then the sound will immediately make me need to pee lol Have you tried going without diapers to see if you’ve lost control?

[emtdl]

I can vouch for what @oznl said about going to bed a little wet. I've noticed that by going to bed a little wet every night and drinking lots of water before falling asleep, I go from a slightly damp diaper at night to thoroughly soaked (and sometimes leaking) in the morning with no recollection of waking up.

The first time it happened it scared me off diapers for several months, but I'm doing it again as of late. So far I usually give myself one or two nights of regular underwear to make sure I don't become a real bedwetter, but if I wear six nights, I'm waking up soaked out of four of those.

[Stroller]

11 hours ago, jaytay said:

I certainly know what you mean about running water.. literally can have no urge at all and then the sound will immediately make me need to pee lol Have you tried going without diapers to see if you’ve lost control?

No.  I've no intention of ever finding out.

[AbsolutelyIncontinent]

I figured out a way to become incontinent. Overdoing kegels. Squeeze your bladder control muscles as hard as I can, repeat a bunch of times. It gets really sore, but I did enough that it weakened my muscles. I can slow down my flow now but can't stop it