Telling A Therapist

[Autiesaurus]

I'm currently seeing a therapist for early childhood trauma-induced PTSD, and have recently started doing narrative therapy, in which I have to repeatedly tell the story of what happened.  When I do this I can feel myself sliding into little space and feeling vulnerable and afraid in a very childlike way.  My speech regresses to that of a young child, and I have an intense need to self-soothe by thumbsucking and hugging my blankie (we're doing zoom meetings right now, so I have my blankie on my lap, out of sight during our sessions).  I'm not ashamed of my little self because I know it's a coping mechanism, but I am quite embarrassed at the thought of explaining my reactions to my therapist.  Do you think I should tell her about my little side?  I'm very conflicted about the idea.

[Rachael-Little]

Yes I think it would help her understand some of your ways of coping 

I actually regressed in a few therapy sessions a few years ago, I did so easily I didn’t even notice it was happening 

[Little Cub Pants]

Yes, I think you should absolutely tell your therapist about your little-side. You should always feel comfortable enough to tell your therapist about anything and he/she will understand, that's always a good sign of a great therapist. You also might want to ask about E.M.D.R therapy, that can also be very helpful too. There are plenty of videos about it on YouTube and they're very informative. And remember, only you can control your own narrative!?

[LiL Marc]

Yeah I think you should,

 

[Autiesaurus]

That’s useful input, any idea how I should bring it up?

[LiL Marc]

5 hours ago, Autiesaurus said:

That’s useful input, any idea how I should bring it up?

A few years ago I told my therapist that I was DL and that I liked wearing diapers and he was totaly cool with it and I was not the fisrt one he saw like me

At that time I didnt tell him that I was AB, because I didnt no my self and probably to hard to accept so I didnt see my ab side

I don't think there's a right or wrong way to do it, and anyway you're gonna be nervous like hell and you probably mess up liked my self, AND IT'S OKAY!

Maybe you can start by telling your therapist that you have your blankie on your lap etc 

I send you love and courage

[Little Cub Pants]

1 hour ago, Autiesaurus said:

That’s useful input, any idea how I should bring it up?

Just be very straight forward. Be like, "look there's something I think you should know" *and then tell him/her about your little-side.* I hope this is useful!?

[LiL Marc]

23 minutes ago, BabySpiderBoy said:

Just be very straight forward. Be like, "look there's something I think you should know" *and then tell him/her about your little-side.* I hope this is useful!?

Exactly the way i did, even if it dindt get out easyier like that LOL

[Bbuttons]

There is literally no point in seeing a therapist if you don’t tell them the truth about your little side. It would be no different to going to see the doctor because you’re not feeling well and not telling them all of your symptoms. 

Don’t be afraid. A good therapist shouldn’t be judgemental and you’re not likely to be the first that they have encountered.

Good luck!

[suzuki2011]

On 3/1/2021 at 10:53 AM, Autiesaurus said:

That’s useful input, any idea how I should bring it up?

im late to this but i would tell him/her that due to your ptsd you have found that age regression to be a good copeing mecinism and that should open the door for him/her to ask what you do and you can say you like teddies blankies diapers ect

[Autiesaurus]

These are all good ideas, now I  just need to work up the nerve to actually do it!

[suzuki2011]

9 minutes ago, Autiesaurus said:

These are all good ideas, now I  just need to work up the nerve to actually do it!

can you let us know how it goes. im seeking therapy my self. trying to get in with a real pshychologist and this will more than likly be on my mind to tell him or her as well

[~Brian~]

On 3/7/2021 at 2:32 AM, Bbuttons said:

There is literally no point in seeing a therapist if you don’t tell them the truth about your little side. It would be no different to going to see the doctor because you’re not feeling well and not telling them all of your symptoms. 

Don’t be afraid. A good therapist shouldn’t be judgemental and you’re not likely to be the first that they have encountered.

Good luck!

@Autiesaurus

I would agree with @Bbuttons here:  If you are seeing a therapist, make sure you disclose what is on your mind.  It also may be able to help you in the long run, because not disclosing something may NOT help you.  therapists are supposed to keep stuff confidential, so unless there is reason to believe you would hurt others, or yourself, they CAN'T and shouldn't disclose information that is placed in their trust.  Disclosure of your AB/Little Side, and being open with the therapist will help him/her help YOU, and that is what you are looking for, is a way to deal with the situation.  NOT disclosing this is the same as me going to the doctor, and telling him my arm hurts, when my hand also hurts.  Being truthful and HONEST with the therapist and YOURSELF:  You have to do this in order to get to the root of the problem(s) you are seeking help to deal with, or you will be spinning your tires on iCE and not getting anywhere.

2 hours ago, suzuki2011 said:

im late to this but i would tell him/her that due to your ptsd you have found that age regression to be a good copeing mecinism and that should open the door for him/her to ask what you do and you can say you like teddies blankies diapers ect

@suzuki2011

BINGO - That's a PERFECT WAY to do it:  @Autiesaurus - If you have PTSD, and you have found that age regression is your "coping mechanism," He/She can then ask something like "so, tell me about how you deal with it", and BOOM - Door Opens, you tell Him/Her, and then you can explain your regressive change in a very compelling and direct manner, because your therapist may see that you have regressed, and have different mannerisms and  attitudes, and you could explain what "little space" is, and what triggers you to have feelings like that, and also what causes you to trigger your "PTSD episodes," and if you can recognize the feelings, you will be able to deal with them.  She probably will notice your regressive change if you are changing to "little Space" and YES, you SHOULD tell her about your Little Side in this case.

Would it help you to know that 15 years ago, I was going through a time period where I was "messed up" in the head, and because of years of getting YELLED at, and all te bad things that were in my head, I needed help?  During that period, I disclosed stuff that I thought I would NEVER disclose:  and I told the Therapist that I liked DIAPERS, and didn't know why, and she said "It's more common than you would imagine" and I was like "Really?"

Do Not be afraid to tell your therapist:  They are there to help YOU, and will Understand

Good Luck!

Brian

[LiL Marc]

37 minutes ago, Autiesaurus said:

These are all good ideas, now I  just need to work up the nerve to actually do it!

It wasn't easy to say it, and I messed up and I stutter and I was shy, and for me its was ok because I had the courage to say it and I was proud of me

 

And then the reaction I got was oh my god! I tortured myself for weeks to find the courage to say it, and in the end it wasn't that bad, I should have tell before

 

Courage!

[suzuki2011]

18 minutes ago, ~Brian~ said:

I told the Therapist that I liked DIAPERS, and didn't know why, and she said "It's more common than you would imagine" and I was like "Really?"

with out getting into too many personal details can you elaborate a little more on how the conversation went?

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, suzuki2011 said:

with out getting into too many personal details can you elaborate a little more on how the conversation went?

@suzuki2011

Well, it went like this:  WAY before I told my Health Team, or my Dad, or those I trust, I needed  diapers, and before having problems with Diverticulitis and IBS, I had been talking to my therapist about life in general, because I felt bad about certain things in my life.  I felt that there were things i was being blamed for, because of the fact that my brother was disabled and needed round the clock care.  Of course, told her of my feelings, and told her that my brother wore diapers, and for some reason, I was attracted to them, and felt "weird" and she said it was common to have an attraction to them, and that I was NOT crazy or anything:  I don't know why I told her i "liked them" but I think I told her that I was attracted to them at 8.

You see, when I was younger, there were times in my life that were hard on me.  Your Parents always take care of you, and they can't WAIT till you hit the "BIG 1 8" and leave home.  My brother left home at 20, and I had to stay home, because I was not done school yet, and there were times that ALCOHOL would make my parents say/do strange things.  I dealt with it the best I could, and when I finally left in 1995, i dealt with some of those damn demons again when my parents would disrespect me in front of people I grew up with, and respected:  I would "bag and bag and bag" all that, and it really made me mad, but my parents thought doing this would be right........They would say "He NEVER listens" or "When He was 12, this happened"  WHAT the HELL does being 12 have to do with being 24?  NOTHING!  One of my friends was an R.N. and I wanted a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL to give me a NO BULL CRAP assessment of something I was dealing with, and she told me  what she thought was going on:  I TOLD them BOTH (I was MAD) to "SHUT UP" and said "The only person I wanna hear from is _______, and if I hear any BS, You guys are DEAD:  I'M NOT 12, Damn it!"  Why do Parents sometimes make you feel like a pile of POOP?  I dunno, maybe they thought I was a liar??  My parents are loving people, but sometimes, its HARD, and sometimes, if I didn't have my DAD around, it would have been HELL!

So, when I had the chance, I wanted to "close the demons down."  My brother Richard was Gone, and I was feeling badly, and it seemed like I was getting YELLED at for everything:  I wanted to start my adult life and understand what the hell I was dealing with, much like DD, @Evelyn Dellcerro@Transfusionelle and others helped me to understand what was going on when I was "searching for answers."  During these sessions with the therapist, I brought to her attention that I liked diapers, and she said "That is more common than you realize"  and I was FLOORED, and then was like "I am NOT crazy after all"

Sometimes, i sit and wonder:  Did I do the best I could?  Could I have been a better son?  Could I have done things differently?  I say Yes, Maybe, and Yes, BUT:  I could NOT, nor WOULD I want to change my life as I have lived it, otherwise, you won't be able to move on from one part of your life to another.  I wanted to deal with examples like this, because i was having BAD dreams, and other bad feelings, and these feelings needed to DIE, and be locked away for EVER:  My feeling was, How the heck do I move on with my adult life, with all this baggage?  Little did I know that DD was here, and when I found it back then, I didn't understand what was going on, and I thought people would send me away somewhere, like Eve thought:  Come August 7, 2019, and I finally became a member here:  and the rest is history!

That therapist helped me put this, and other events into prospective:  I wanted to close the Childhood Years, the guilty feelings that I should NOT have, the ANGER and all that garbage:  I was tired of being compared to individuals that were smarter than me, or had better grades than me, or could work, and I couldn't do what they did.  Sure, my childhood was FUN, but this situation sucked, cause I was feeling like I was in a WAR all the time, and I wanted to prove that I could survive out here:  It isn't easy, but it CAN be rewarding, and TOUGH!

Thank GOD that part of my life is in the Rear View Mirror:  Sheeeeh ;(

Brian

Edited March 13, 2021 by ~Brian~
Added Additional Information

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

1 hour ago, ~Brian~ said:

@suzuki2011

Well, it went like this:  WAY before I told my Health Team, or my Dad, or those I trust, I needed  diapers, and before having problems with Diverticulitis and IBS, I had been talking to my therapist about life in general, because I felt bad about certain things in my life.  I felt that there were things i was being blamed for, because of the fact that my brother was disabled and needed round the clock care.  Of course, told her of my feelings, and told her that my brother wore diapers, and for some reason, I was attracted to them, and felt "weird" and she said it was common to have an attraction to them, and that I was NOT crazy or anything:  I don't know why I told her i "liked them" but I think I told her that I was attracted to them at 8.

You see, when I was younger, there were times in my life that were hard on me.  Your Parents always take care of you, and they can't WAIT till you hit the "BIG 1 8" and leave home.  My brother left home at 20, and I had to stay home, because I was not done school yet, and there were times that ALCOHOL would make my parents say/do strange things.  I dealt with it the best I could, and when I finally left in 1995, i dealt with some of those damn demons again when my parents would disrespect me in front of people I grew up with, and respected:  I would "bag and bag and bag" all that, and it really made me mad, but my parents thought doing this would be right........They would say "He NEVER listens" or "When He was 12, this happened"  WHAT the HELL does being 12 have to do with being 24?  NOTHING!  One of my friends was an R.N. and I wanted a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL to give me a NO BULL CRAP assessment of something I was dealing with, and she told me  what she thought was going on:  I TOLD them BOTH (I was MAD) to "SHUT UP" and said "The only person I wanna hear from is _______, and if I hear any BS, You guys are DEAD:  I'M NOT 12, Damn it!"  Why do Parents sometimes make you feel like a pile of POOP?  I dunno, maybe they thought I was a liar??  My parents are loving people, but sometimes, its HARD, and sometimes, if I didn't have my DAD around, it would have been HELL!

So, when I had the chance, I wanted to "close the demons down."  My brother Richard was Gone, and I was feeling badly, and it seemed like I was getting YELLED at for everything:  I wanted to start my adult life and understand what the hell I was dealing with, much like DD, @Evelyn Dellcerro@Transfusionelle and others helped me to understand what was going on when I was "searching for answers."  During these sessions with the therapist, I brought to her attention that I liked diapers, and she said "That is more common than you realize"  and I was FLOORED, and then was like "I am NOT crazy after all"

Sometimes, i sit and wonder:  Did I do the best I could?  Could I have been a better son?  Could I have done things differently?  I say Yes, Maybe, and Yes, BUT:  I could NOT, nor WOULD I want to change my life as I have lived it, otherwise, you won't be able to move on from one part of your life to another.  I wanted to deal with examples like this, because i was having BAD dreams, and other bad feelings, and these feelings needed to DIE, and be locked away for EVER:  My feeling was, How the heck do I move on with my adult life, with all this baggage?  Little did I know that DD was here, and when I found it back then, I didn't understand what was going on, and I thought people would send me away somewhere, like Eve thought:  Come August 7, 2019, and I finally became a member here:  and the rest is history!

That therapist helped me put this, and other events into prospective:  I wanted to close the Childhood Years, the guilty feelings that I should NOT have, the ANGER and all that garbage:  I was tired of being compared to individuals that were smarter than me, or had better grades than me, or could work, and I couldn't do what they did.  Sure, my childhood was FUN, but this situation sucked, cause I was feeling like I was in a WAR all the time, and I wanted to prove that I could survive out here:  It isn't easy, but it CAN be rewarding, and TOUGH!

Thank GOD that part of my life is in the Rear View Mirror:  Sheeeeh ;(

Brian

Brian you are not alone in your thoughts. Even me as grounded as I am have gone through the I couldve, shouldve, and wouldve. I started liking diapers and I was only 13 years old. My mother told me that I was out of diapers and using a toilet by age 2. At the age of 13 we are supposed to be (society standards) prissy and proper and virgins and good little girls that do good in school and hold mommies hand crossing the street. I was horny and promiscuous and perverted and all I thought of was pooping my diaper and getting off. Do you really think I was going to tell my parents this, or even a counselor, or therapist ? Youre talking 1978. Lock her up, put her in a padded room and keep her there till she is 18 and then we will do a pysch eval to see if she has changed and is no longer a threat to herself or society ? You talk about tough,,, Yes it was very tough. But I was tougher. I did what I had to do to keep my sanity. I broke my ass in school, I studied, I read and wrote, I achieved the impossible for a scared little Puerto Rican girl. I graduated high school at 16 years old top of my class and was in college by the age of 17. As wild and promiscuous as I was in college I excelled in my studies because I wanted to be at the top. I got my degrees 4 years later and entered the work force. Still in love with diapers and poop and still as promiscuous as ever. That is my life as I look in the rearview mirror. Brian I love you and no sheeeeh for me. I dont regret not a single choice. I enjoy my life with my adoring and loving equal partner, and we come here to help others also put things in perspective and put things in the simple context of love. We both sit here for hours on weekends reading posts and forums and many of the delightful stories, and many times we read them aloud to each other. We cry and we laugh and we really do enjoy ourselves. Bless you all !!  Brian you won the war sweetie, and we are here to serve with you side by side.

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

On 2/28/2021 at 2:23 PM, Autiesaurus said:

I'm currently seeing a therapist for early childhood trauma-induced PTSD, and have recently started doing narrative therapy, in which I have to repeatedly tell the story of what happened.  When I do this I can feel myself sliding into little space and feeling vulnerable and afraid in a very childlike way.  My speech regresses to that of a young child, and I have an intense need to self-soothe by thumbsucking and hugging my blankie (we're doing zoom meetings right now, so I have my blankie on my lap, out of sight during our sessions).  I'm not ashamed of my little self because I know it's a coping mechanism, but I am quite embarrassed at the thought of explaining my reactions to my therapist.  Do you think I should tell her about my little side?  I'm very conflicted about the idea.

Just be as honest and forthcoming with your therapist as you are being here. Take notes of what you are writing and let your therapist read your writing, journals, and chronicles. He/she will have a better, clearer more comprehensible understanding. Dont ever be ashamed of seeking help. We are all human and not everyone of us are wired the same. If sliding into your little space makes you comfortable so be it. We do things to make ourselves happy and content. We are all human and humane.

[LiL Marc]

29 minutes ago, Evelyn Dellcerro said:

Brian you are not alone in your thoughts. Even me as grounded as I am have gone through the I couldve, shouldve, and wouldve. I started liking diapers and I was only 13 years old. My mother told me that I was out of diapers and using a toilet by age 2. At the age of 13 we are supposed to be (society standards) prissy and proper and virgins and good little girls that do good in school and hold mommies hand crossing the street. I was horny and promiscuous and perverted and all I thought of was pooping my diaper and getting off. Do you really think I was going to tell my parents this, or even a counselor, or therapist ? Youre talking 1978. Lock her up, put her in a padded room and keep her there till she is 18 and then we will do a pysch eval to see if she has changed and is no longer a threat to herself or society ? You talk about tough,,, Yes it was very tough. But I was tougher. I did what I had to do to keep my sanity. I broke my ass in school, I studied, I read and wrote, I achieved the impossible for a scared little Puerto Rican girl. I graduated high school at 16 years old top of my class and was in college by the age of 17. As wild and promiscuous as I was in college I excelled in my studies because I wanted to be at the top. I got my degrees 4 years later and entered the work force. Still in love with diapers and poop and still as promiscuous as ever. That is my life as I look in the rearview mirror. Brian I love you and no sheeeeh for me. I dont regret not a single choice. I enjoy my life with my adoring and loving equal partner, and we come here to help others also put things in perspective and put things in the simple context of love. We both sit here for hours on weekends reading posts and forums and many of the delightful stories, and many times we read them aloud to each other. We cry and we laugh and we really do enjoy ourselves. Bless you all !!  Brian you won the war sweetie, and we are here to serve with you side by side.

I love you so much ?

[Evelyn Dellcerro]

59 minutes ago, LiL Marc said:

I love you so much ?

Marc I love you right back sweetie, you are always the gemtleman !!

[Transfusionelle]

13 hours ago, ~Brian~ said:

@suzuki2011

Well, it went like this:  WAY before I told my Health Team, or my Dad, or those I trust, I needed  diapers, and before having problems with Diverticulitis and IBS, I had been talking to my therapist about life in general, because I felt bad about certain things in my life.  I felt that there were things i was being blamed for, because of the fact that my brother was disabled and needed round the clock care.  Of course, told her of my feelings, and told her that my brother wore diapers, and for some reason, I was attracted to them, and felt "weird" and she said it was common to have an attraction to them, and that I was NOT crazy or anything:  I don't know why I told her i "liked them" but I think I told her that I was attracted to them at 8.

You see, when I was younger, there were times in my life that were hard on me.  Your Parents always take care of you, and they can't WAIT till you hit the "BIG 1 8" and leave home.  My brother left home at 20, and I had to stay home, because I was not done school yet, and there were times that ALCOHOL would make my parents say/do strange things.  I dealt with it the best I could, and when I finally left in 1995, i dealt with some of those damn demons again when my parents would disrespect me in front of people I grew up with, and respected:  I would "bag and bag and bag" all that, and it really made me mad, but my parents thought doing this would be right........They would say "He NEVER listens" or "When He was 12, this happened"  WHAT the HELL does being 12 have to do with being 24?  NOTHING!  One of my friends was an R.N. and I wanted a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL to give me a NO BULL CRAP assessment of something I was dealing with, and she told me  what she thought was going on:  I TOLD them BOTH (I was MAD) to "SHUT UP" and said "The only person I wanna hear from is _______, and if I hear any BS, You guys are DEAD:  I'M NOT 12, Damn it!"  Why do Parents sometimes make you feel like a pile of POOP?  I dunno, maybe they thought I was a liar??  My parents are loving people, but sometimes, its HARD, and sometimes, if I didn't have my DAD around, it would have been HELL!

So, when I had the chance, I wanted to "close the demons down."  My brother Richard was Gone, and I was feeling badly, and it seemed like I was getting YELLED at for everything:  I wanted to start my adult life and understand what the hell I was dealing with, much like DD, @Evelyn Dellcerro@Transfusionelle and others helped me to understand what was going on when I was "searching for answers."  During these sessions with the therapist, I brought to her attention that I liked diapers, and she said "That is more common than you realize"  and I was FLOORED, and then was like "I am NOT crazy after all"

Sometimes, i sit and wonder:  Did I do the best I could?  Could I have been a better son?  Could I have done things differently?  I say Yes, Maybe, and Yes, BUT:  I could NOT, nor WOULD I want to change my life as I have lived it, otherwise, you won't be able to move on from one part of your life to another.  I wanted to deal with examples like this, because i was having BAD dreams, and other bad feelings, and these feelings needed to DIE, and be locked away for EVER:  My feeling was, How the heck do I move on with my adult life, with all this baggage?  Little did I know that DD was here, and when I found it back then, I didn't understand what was going on, and I thought people would send me away somewhere, like Eve thought:  Come August 7, 2019, and I finally became a member here:  and the rest is history!

That therapist helped me put this, and other events into prospective:  I wanted to close the Childhood Years, the guilty feelings that I should NOT have, the ANGER and all that garbage:  I was tired of being compared to individuals that were smarter than me, or had better grades than me, or could work, and I couldn't do what they did.  Sure, my childhood was FUN, but this situation sucked, cause I was feeling like I was in a WAR all the time, and I wanted to prove that I could survive out here:  It isn't easy, but it CAN be rewarding, and TOUGH!

Thank GOD that part of my life is in the Rear View Mirror:  Sheeeeh ;(

Brian

You stay your sweet beautiful lovable self @~Brian~ you never were or ever have been crazy !!  We love you just the way you are !!  Rock them pink megas !!

14 hours ago, LiL Marc said:

It wasn't easy to say it, and I messed up and I stutter and I was shy, and for me its was ok because I had the courage to say it and I was proud of me

 

And then the reaction I got was oh my god! I tortured myself for weeks to find the courage to say it, and in the end it wasn't that bad, I should have tell before

 

Courage!

We are both proud of you here Marc !! You can stutter and be shy and be as messed up as you are marc, you have a very loving and accepting heart ! way more than we can say about others ! The courage of a mighty lion !

[LiL Marc]

On 3/14/2021 at 7:38 AM, Transfusionelle said:

You stay your sweet beautiful lovable self @~Brian~ you never were or ever have been crazy !!  We love you just the way you are !!  Rock them pink megas !!

We are both proud of you here Marc !! You can stutter and be shy and be as messed up as you are marc, you have a very loving and accepting heart ! way more than we can say about others ! The courage of a mighty lion !

@TransfusionelleThank you love!