Feel positive after putting on a diaper that fits? (Last post for the next 48 hrs)

[Anonymous12]

So I promise this is the last post but I wanted to know if anyone else felt this way after putting on an incontinence product for the first time that fits. Did anyone else feel a rush throughout their body like they were doing the right thing? It’s still a little weird to me because I just started wearing them two weeks ago (the first ones were too lose so I got the right ones today)

[~Brian~]

1 hour ago, Anonymous12 said:

I wanted to know if anyone else felt this way after putting on an incontinence product for the first time that fits. Did anyone else feel a rush throughout their body like they were doing the right thing? It’s still a little weird to me because I just started wearing them two weeks ago (the first ones were too lose so I got the right ones today)

@Anonymous12

Are you asking me if I would feel a "rush" because I feel like I am doing something Naughty?  Or, are you asking me if I feel "guilty" because I have to wear them, and because I enjoy how they feel?  It is an easy answer for me:  Because I am Incontinent, there is No "naughtyness" involved, and because I need to wear them, there is no "guilt" or "shame" that I feel.  I just wished I could have done it a little sooner than 2019, and that I had them earlier in the year, because I was in need prior to August.

Yes, I think diapers feel good:  There is nothing wrong with that:  I have come to understand that once I accepted using diapers as my solution, that the next part is, that you may add the "fun" part of it.  Heck, I already use and wear, so why not enjoy it a little?  To do that, you add aspects of the lifestyle, and you do that to add the spice you need.

Did you kind of feel like someone was gonna come into your space and catch you and go "AAAAAAAH HAAAAAAH - BUSTED Diaper Boy?"  Did you think that you were gonna have to sneak your diapers in?  Maybe that's where you get the idea that you are being "naughty" because you think that you will get caught in a diaper some night:  It can be embarrassing, or something that you don't want just anyone to find out about, but if you are using them to deal with incontinence like me, there should be no shame or naughty feelings involved:  Maybe a guilty PLEASURE if you like the feeling of them, but if you choose to wear or use them, there is NO SHAME or NAUGHTY to worry about, unless there are some GIRLS that may catch you and embarrass you.

I would NOT worry about Guilt, or getting caught:  If you choose to use diapers, you have the reason, and you are in control of who, if anyone, knows you wear or use.  If you are found out, most times, people will understand, and they will keep it between themselves, but who you tell, if anyone, is UP to YOU!

Take Care,

Brian

[Anonymous12]

So hate to be rude but I actually am gay so I’m hoping that guys will accept me for this.

With regards to being “naughty”, I feel like my quality of life will improve but I’m not sure how my family will feel about this. I don’t feel naughty in a sexual sense but I do feel like it will be a struggle to be accepted by people around me. In other words, I genuinely feel that I need these but it may take some time for other people to accept them.
 

Overall, I hope that I can feel comfortable in them and my family will understand. I guess what I’m asking is did you feel a disconnect between your body and mind? I am “toilet trained” but I feel like there may be times where I have to have an “accident” in order to make the best of the activity I’m doing. 
 

Hopefully everything works out but I’m still new to this.

[~Brian~]

20 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

So hate to be rude but I actually am gay so I’m hoping that guys will accept me for this.

@Anonymous12

I accept you as you are sir, and I am sure that there are many that do also - If you make friends here, and keep interacting, I am sure that you will make a few here

I think that most people, if they are TRUE friends, will accept you, and your choice to wear or use diapers.  Lets put it another way:

I have had CP for 48 years, and have used wheelchairs on and off since the age of 23, and I have used them as primary mode of transportation or mobility since about 25-30.  As I age, it gets harder to get to the bathroom, and sometimes, SAFETY is an issue.  I could Fall, or mis-step, and then hurt myself, or injure myself and need assistance, or my body just decides that "You are NOT doing this today", and my legs, knees, back, etc, decide to take a "vacation."  I also am dealing with diverticulitis, IBS, incontinence, accidents, and I decided that it was time to deal with this.

I have friends that are disabled.  I don't look at them as people who wear diapers, or use chairs, or use adaptive equipment:  They use these pieces of equipment to help them live the best lives that they can.  I look at the PERSON, and what they can do, what they can be, what and WHO they are:  If they can make their lives better by using these devices, than so be it. The Chair or anything else they use is like a part of them, and some of my best friends that I respect are disabled, and are WORSE off then I am, but they have taught me MANY things, one, to be Empathetic, the Other, to be Sympathetic, BUT NEVER to feel sorry for them:  They live their life the best that they can.

My friends that I make, are made because of who they are INSIDE and OUT:  It does NOT matter if the person needs to be in a wheelchair, uses Diapers, or other aides:  They cannot help their situations, and the best thing that I do for anyone is to be there for them.  Diapers are NOT a worry for me, because it is more than that, and I accept them because they are my friends, and YES, I DO understand the need for diapers:  I think most people that see disabled people in wheelchairs may assume the need for diapers, and accept that.  My Friends do NOT look at me as any less of a friend because I use them, and YOU should not worry about it either.

TRUE friends that are real friends, will understand and accept the need or want to use diapers.  There are PLENTY of gay guys around here (DD) and I am sure they would agree with that.  If there are friends of yours who do not accept your use of diapers, or that you are gay, then they are probably not the best friends to associate with.  Some people that you run into may NOT understand the WHAT or the WHY, and they may NEVER accept it, but those that are TRUE friends WILL understand - TRUST me on that! 

21 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

With regards to being “naughty”, I feel like my quality of life will improve but I’m not sure how my family will feel about this. I don’t feel naughty in a sexual sense but I do feel like it will be a struggle to be accepted by people around me. In other words, I genuinely feel that I need these but it may take some time for other people to accept them.

There ya go - You just said it "'I feel like my quality of life will improve'".  If you feel that way, it sounds to me like you genuinely feel that you need diapers.  Let me tell you:  Unless you live at home with your parents, or there is a reason to disclose that you wear or use diapers, or like other AB/DL "equipment,"  I would NOT do it.  The reason is:  You would have to make the decision based on what your experience with them is.  Are they pretty "Open minded?"  Or are they "Closed Minded and TOXIC?"  If they are open minded as my friends @Evelyn Dellcerro@Transfusionelle are, you should have no problem.  BUT:  if you had to deal with what  @amorfraldaJRdid, you would be messed up pretty BAD.  Who and Whom, as well as WHAT you tell them is up to you, but be prepared for the "fallout" if it blows up in your face.  Best advice is to tell those that you TRUST, and that is that:  Only tell those that NEED to know.  I told family I trusted, and my medical and support teams.  It is NO ONE ELSE's BUSINESS whether you wear diapers or not, and some things may be better left unsaid sometimes.

21 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

Overall, I hope that I can feel comfortable in them and my family will understand. I guess what I’m asking is did you feel a disconnect between your body and mind? I am “toilet trained” but I feel like there may be times where I have to have an “accident” in order to make the best of the activity I’m doing. 

Sometimes, one of the hardest things is to understand what you are experiencing.  It is one thing to experience the feelings, or to deal with them, but you may be thinking "why the heck do I want to do this, why diapers, why do they feel good?"  You may NOT know why, or UNDERSTAND it yet, so you may not be able to explain things to anyone in a way that makes any sense.  I have liked diapers since about age 8, but I didn't know WHY, and I thought that something was amiss with me.  After 24 years, I finally came to DD, after accepting that I am an Incontinent DL, and I do not feel shame or badly because i wear them.  The people who are around me understand why, and they accept and love me for who I am, and they understand.  People like @Evelyn Dellcerrocan tell you that you should go with your heart, and not worry so much - She helped me understand that even though you may NEED diapers, you can always have FUN with them as well:  You will go through "cycles" thinking that you are "Bad" or "wrong" but the main thing is, that if you have feelings for diapers, they probably are already there, and they will always be a part of you.  There is NOTHING wrong with these feelings - NONE at all:  These are NORMAL:  You may BINGE on diapers, then PURGE them, but the feelings are ALWAYS gonna be a part of you, and there is no shame in that. 

I have accepted what and who I am because of people who have been able to be EXCELLENT advice:  It took me 24 years to get over the "stigma."  I needed help in 2019, and I knew that DD was the place to get that help.  There are LOTS of people here, and they can tell you stories about how they got started in diapers, or stories of their young lives:  One thing:  DO NOT be afraid to reach out for advice and help - I did, and I AM GLAD I DID!

22 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

Overall, I hope that I can feel comfortable in them and my family will understand. I guess what I’m asking is did you feel a disconnect between your body and mind? I am “toilet trained” but I feel like there may be times where I have to have an “accident” in order to make the best of the activity I’m doing.

If you want to use Diapers, do NOT feel guilty, for me, there is no "disconnect" because if I have to release, I do it.  You don't have to JUSTIFY having them, or choosing to use them.  I Did, because of incontinence, but you may have to "retrain your bladder" to release in diapers if you are potty trained.  Do NOT feel guilty - Just Relax and let GO

22 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

Hopefully everything works out but I’m still new to this.

I am sure everything will - I wish you well on your journey - we are here to help you and others when they need it

Brian

 

[Anonymous12]

Hi Brian!

You have been very helpful to me and I don’t want to invalidate your comments. I want to give you a quick backstory so that you know where I am coming from.

When I was born, the doctors told me that I will not be able to walk or talk. Due to intensive physical and speech therapy, I was able to move from using a device to talk into the ability to use my mouth to talk to people. I defied what the doctors thought and I can do more including using a walker and crutches.

However, I have to use a wheelchair to move if there is long distance (recommended by my first PT). I felt depressed in high school and college because I didn’t have help with brushing my teeth, wiping after using the bathroom, or showering.

Once I felt comfortable asking for help, I felt happier and healthier. Even though I “need” diapers, I’m afraid I will feel like my parents didn’t try hard enough to make me independent or that my physical therapist will haunt me from beyond the grave.
 

I apologize for venting, but I am trying to figure this out.

thsnks!

Rory

[amorfraldaJR]

@Anonymous12 Hello my friend I am jason. I am gay also and love my diapers for many reasons. I am so sorry that you didn't recieve proper care in high school and college. Those are the times that shape your life and future. I live with my aunts because I am gay. My father kicked me out of the house at 13 because he could not stand being around "my faggot ass" his exact words. Being incon is nothing to be ashamed of and if you enjoy your diapers then high 5's dude. I love my diapers because they set me free from having to count on the toilet. Dude you ever want to chat or send me a message please feel at home and drop me a line. You can feel as comfortable as you want with me. Hugs and kisses my friend.

[~Brian~]

2 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

You have been very helpful to me and I don’t want to invalidate your comments. I want to give you a quick backstory so that you know where I am coming from.

@Anonymous12

Thank You - I always try to be helpful to as many as I can.  I understand that you also have disabilities, and I do understand where you are coming from. 

3 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

When I was born, the doctors told me that I will not be able to walk or talk. Due to intensive physical and speech therapy, I was able to move from using a device to talk into the ability to use my mouth to talk to people. I defied what the doctors thought and I can do more including using a walker and crutches.

I was born in the 70's myself - When I was born, there were no "instruction manuals" to help my parents raise me, so most of what they did was based on what they thought was best.  Having Cerebral Palsy, and having to deal with that was hard, but it was all that I knew.  I don't think that most of the people that dealt with me in rehab stints or schools thought that I would be able to complete schooling or amount to much.  I proved that I could do a lot of things, and my parents knew that I could do it, and supported me all the way. 

3 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

When I was born, the doctors told me that I will not be able to walk or talk. Due to intensive physical and speech therapy.....[snip]

BRAVO - PT and other supports can really make the difference.  My parents were my best advocates, and they taught me to stand up for myself and work really hard, and if I did that, most of the time, I can accomplish anything.  PT's OT's and other specialists can be a GODSEND, because they can help you - As long as you give your best effort, they will support you all the way.  You  have proven to your doctors that you can do it, and sometimes, it takes longer for people that have disabilities to do something than someone that does NOT have a disability, but you should be PROUD that you have been able to do as much as you have been able to do.

 

3 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

However, I have to use a wheelchair to move if there is long distance (recommended by my first PT). I felt depressed in high school and college because I didn’t have help with brushing my teeth, wiping after using the bathroom, or showering.

Once I felt comfortable asking for help, I felt happier and healthier. Even though I “need” diapers, I’m afraid I will feel like my parents didn’t try hard enough to make me independent or that my physical therapist will haunt me from beyond the grave.

Using a wheelchair is nothing to be ashamed of.  I use one every day -  I am sorry that you had so much trouble in High School and College.  I attended college for 4 years, and got an Associates Degree and a Bachelors Degree, and I had a lot of good supports. 

3 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

Once I felt comfortable asking for help, I felt happier and healthier. Even though I “need” diapers, I’m afraid I will feel like my parents didn’t try hard enough to make me independent or that my physical therapist will haunt me from beyond the grave.

I am glad that you were able to finally ask for help.  There is no shame in doing so - Whether you need diapers or NOT is NOT a reflection on you or your parents trying hard enough to make you independent.  Using diapers for any reason does not mean that you are not independent.  I can tell you that I live my life daily, with my disability in play, and if I need help, I ask for it, but I am independent. 

As long as you do the BEST you can, and you KNOW that you are doing so, you should have nothing to fear

3 hours ago, amorfraldaJR said:

@Anonymous12 Hello my friend I am jason. I am gay also and love my diapers for many reasons. I am so sorry that you didn't recieve proper care in high school and college. Those are the times that shape your life and future.

It looks like you also found a friend in @amorfraldaJR!  He is an awesome young man, and I am sure that he can be someone who can help you with issues that deal with incontinence and diapers, and I also have dealt with these issues as well. 

Good Luck!

Brian

[Anonymous12]

Hi guys!

All your comments have been very helpful so I just wanted to give you a quick update. I think I’m getting closer to understanding why I need diapers when I go out but I’m still a little confused

 I went to the mall with my helper today and even though I had trouble urinating while wearing a diaper, I felt like I was able to enjoy the trip more. The only follow-up question is “wouldn’t everyone wear a diaper for convenience?”. I know several people who have much more severe disabilities that don’t wear them. Granted, they have a helper and stay at home most of the time but still...

. I am also still in the process of retraining my bladder. It gets easier the more I practice. I always drink a lot of fluids which helps but hopefully I can eventually associate my wheelchair with a toilet. The only problem I’m having is leaks which are probably the result of drinking too many fluids to help me go.

  The picture is becoming clearer but I still have some questions that hopefully will be answered...

[Anonymous12]

Sorry I have one more question: if I’m using them for convenience to allow me to participate in outdoor activities, am I actually incontinent? I feel like I am but the release of urine is “voluntary” which doesn’t meet the definition of incontinence

[~Brian~]

2 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

Hi guys!

All your comments have been very helpful so I just wanted to give you a quick update. I think I’m getting closer to understanding why I need diapers when I go out but I’m still a little confused

 I went to the mall with my helper today and even though I had trouble urinating while wearing a diaper, I felt like I was able to enjoy the trip more. The only follow-up question is “wouldn’t everyone wear a diaper for convenience?”. I know several people who have much more severe disabilities that don’t wear them. Granted, they have a helper and stay at home most of the time but still...

. I am also still in the process of retraining my bladder. It gets easier the more I practice. I always drink a lot of fluids which helps but hopefully I can eventually associate my wheelchair with a toilet. The only problem I’m having is leaks which are probably the result of drinking too many fluids to help me go.

  The picture is becoming clearer but I still have some questions that hopefully will be answered...

@Anonymous12

If you are wearing a diaper, because you finding it hard to get to the toilet, you are considered "functionally incontinent" as I was so awesomely informed.  I wear mine because of this, and because of the fact that I want to make sure I don't have to deal with dirty bathrooms, because some of them are worse then the bottom of a garage grease pit, smell horrible, and look even worse.  I don't want to be TOUCHING anything that is not clean, and I've seen ones that I wouldn't even want to go INTO because of the condition they are in:  Some people are just DISGUSTING in public toilets!

1 hour ago, Anonymous12 said:

I have one more question: if I’m using them for convenience to allow me to participate in outdoor activities, am I actually incontinent? I feel like I am but the release of urine is “voluntary” which doesn’t meet the definition of incontinence

If you are wearing because you finding it more convenient for you, then you still would be incontinent functionally - you do not necessarily have to have a total loss of control in your bladder or your bowels to be considered incontinent.  I believe that your designation of incontinence fits that definition.  If you are releasing anything in a diaper, you meet this definition, because you are using a diaper.  When going somewhere, having a diaper is a lifesaver, because you don't have to worry about having to release, because you have the bathroom on.

I WOULD caution you that you want to make sure you have QUALITY diapers for incontinence:  Most of the stuff that you see in stores, or that are available though Medicaid are cloth backed, and NOT designed for incontinence, even though they SAY they are:  I use the Northshore Megamax, and I swear by them, and I have also used the Abena M4 Plastic Backed Diaper:  Anything else out there is made for people that leak, or dribble, and NOT for someone who has to empty a full bladder into the thing:  I call the Cloth Backed JUNK they peddle "White Colored Paper Towels with Tapes":  NOT Good!  If your going all the way, go for broke, and the BEST - You will not be sorry

2 hours ago, Anonymous12 said:

The picture is becoming clearer but I still have some questions that hopefully will be answered..

I am glad that the picture is getting clearer for you:  If you have more questions, don't hesitate to ask - One of us will be able to help you

Brian

[Anonymous12]

Hi Brian,

  I don’t mean to be creepy but every time you respond, I’m able to look at things from a different perspective which is really helpful.

  Now that you explained it, I do think that I am functionality incontinent. I think my main struggle is trying to understand why it’s more beneficial to go in my pants than use the handicap bathroom. Again, I know it’s more convenient but I’m so used to using the regular bathroom that it feels weird. I know deep down that it’s the right thing to do but I just feel like I’m being “lazy”. My head is about to explode lol.
 

I guess...if I were on my deathbed and I was looking back, I would probably be happier that I used a diaper in public  than a toilet. I just hope that I can see that the benefits of using a diaper outweigh the positives of interrupting social activities for a long period of time. 
 

I apologize for rambling but I’m thinking out loud