My personal journey and a thought experiment

[BabyBoi91]

Hi, I would really appreciate some feedback and also  wanted to share where I am at on my journey toward complete incontinence . 

first about me : Currently in my 30s, male , been an ABDL as long as I can remember . I started wearing diapers on a daily basis maybe 5 years ago while in the military due to a urinary issue (a doc recommended it and I needed some kindof protection, and I always liked diapers so I chose that ). Once I got out, I kindof rebelled on anything to do with the military and refused to wear “padding” for a bit — resulting in damp underwear/pants for several months if not a year . It was less a “diaper purge cycle” and more just a difficult life transition. I still very much liked wearing for fun during that time , just couldn’t really accept wearing all the time as that reminded me of my time in uniform (proud to have served for 10+ years :). 

About 18 months ago, I finally realized that mental resistance was just dumb. I’ve always liked diapers. I feel way healthier in them/ using them . And even my family supported me wearing full time (my family and close friends know I’m ABDL).  I realized I wanted to to try and start down the 100% path — and also start entertaining what “becoming fully incontinent” would be mean for me . Realizing it’s not something that happens overnight and it would affect my life, my family, and those around me. 

the more I explored , the more I found out people closest to me didn’t care . In fact, family and friends who knew me best supported me becoming fully incontinent (bowel and bladder control). Even my spouse seemed more ok with it than me (he isn’t ABDL,  which to me was a sign that likely I was the one with hang-ups). 

Over the last 18 months I can def see my bowel control has absolutely weakened and my bladder control , which already had some issues , is also weaker.  About 6 months ago , I finally just decided it was time to go 100% and stop using the potty altogether. I couldn’t be happier . Even family and friends can see a difference. 

that doesn’t mean I’m not working through things mentally. And that brings me to my “ethical thought experiment” I made up to try and toy out some thoughts I was bouncing around. 

And it has to do with my decision to become incontinent and what that means for me — basically having to deal with the potential for leaks, smells, etc in public (e.g., a restaurant) and semi-public (e.g., friend’s house around people who may or may not know I’m incontinent).

I have seen a lot of (unfortunately at times) unfriendly debates about this. I do not want that here. I think anyone who is AB/DL or even just incontinent is fully aware of the amount of shame that often has to get processed out of daily life. 

im more curious what people think about this thought experiment and if people have feedback about the questions I’m asking . 
***

To do the exercise, answer each question in order before going to the next question .  

Basis A: Some people say it’s “acceptabl” if someone wets/mess/leaks in a diaper in public due to a medical condition . But ofc, they need to be responsible and change immediately. It’s not ideal. Some people may be offended but it happens. Do you agree?

Basis B: Some people say it’s “unacceptable” for someone to intentionally wet/mess/leak in a diaper in public. this is “exposing” others, or at the very least “gross.” Do you agree?

Thought experiment 1) if someone knowingly made a decision under the advice of a doctor to save their own life UNRELATED to any kink but also knew it would lead to a side effect that would permanently result in them wetting/messing/leaking.... Is it ethical for them to use their diapers publicly after the fact ? (Not asking about the decision itself, the thought experiment assumes the decision already happened).
 

TE 2)  if someone made a decision under the advice of a doctor RELATED to a kink that led to a side effect that would permanently result in them wetting/messing/leaking.... , is it ethical for them to use their diapers publicly after the fact ? (Again, not asking about the decision itself , the thought experiment assumes it already happened ). 
 

TE 3)  if a person chooses to become incontinent through whatever means they pursue , and that permanently results in them wetting/messing/leaking... is it ethical for them to use their diapers publicly after the fact ? (Again assuming the decision already happened ). 

TE 4) finally , does a person need to become incontinent for them to be ethically allowed to use their diapers publicly, in a manner that results in them wetting/messing/leaking...? 

***

even if you are not comfortable sharing your answers, I would appreciate knowing if you found this helpful. I know I personally found this very useful for myself which is why I shared . 

I also want to add that this is very strictly a thought experiment . Please do not consider any portion of this advice or recommendation for treatment.  I am very much a believer that each person should do what is best for them. 

thank you! 

 

 

 

 

 

[spark]

I would say the question about was is ethically acceptable has very little to do with the reason for the incontinence.   There is no ethical dilemma in  using a diaper in public, whether that use is induced by an emotional or physical reason.

However, how you respond to think you have an ethical responsibility to how you handle the diapers, and that depends on your mental capacity.  If you are wet to the point of your diaper failing, you need to immediately take care of that and do so in a discrete manor that keeps the condition as hidden as posible.  The exact is same with a messy diaper, but that becomes an issue immediately after  it happens.  

If you aren't able to take care of that in an appropriate, you should have a care giver who can, and it becomes their responsibility to deal with the diapers.

[oznl]

I think “Basis A” would be supported by the majority of people. 

I think "Basis B" would (more controversially) be supported by the majority of people with some caveats.  It's not the contents of your underwear that are problematic in this scenario, it's the avoidable scenario of offensiveness.  I don't think this is a thing with wetting though. Wet diapers under clothes should be undetectable (unless you’re a beagle) and thusly inoffensive.  I can see none of the non-consensual implications of wetting a diaper under your clothing in public.

Stepping through these scenarios, the underlying question appears to be:

“Does urinating and/or defecating into my diapers in public become socially tolerable when these actions occur outside of my voluntary control (ie: incontinence), irrespective of whether my continence was lost through the vector of incident/accident or as a foreseeable consequence of my own actions?”

Assuming legitimate, functional incontinence has been achieved, this is a bit of a philosophical head-scratcher.

I think, to avoid a pit of paradoxical outcomes (consider medical treatment/tolerances proffered to diseased smokers), we need to separate the “injury” from the “mechanism of injury”.  If we start applying value judgements against tolerances or treatments, it’s a slippery slope.

Tolerance needs to be given to consequences of the “injury” but such tolerance need only extend as far as the tolerated-person being unable to manage their circumstance.  They are not automatically absolved of all responsibility in my book.   Judgements made on the basis of the “mechanism of injury” are a personal choice.  In the defense of those who have made themselves functionally continent, I would point their (general) ownership of the consequences and that there are other “body hacks” that also have operational downsides.

Another possible counter-argument is that “diaper therapy” is effective and cheap in comparison to pharmaceuticals and mental health hospitalization.