So, My Secret Got Out.

[dlstl]

I told one of my best friends (of 15 years) about my kink a long time ago, and recently while he was drinking with some friends the topic of people's kinks came up, and I wasn't there that night to shoot a 'don't say a damn thing' glance.

It didn't come to my attention until about a week later when there was some conflict concerning him and a girl, and somebody mentioned that he had said something about me. This guy was another one of my friends, and I dragged him outside and forced it out of him. He was visibly uncomfortable, but he's a raunchy, crude guy himself so I just slapped him on the back and said, "We all have our kinks, huh?" And he hasn't said anything since.

So, after this I was quite livid, and called my friend and yelled, swore, etc, and didn't talk to him for a few days. When I finally did, he told me that he also said that he found it weird that people were more accepting of masochism than ageplay, and that that view seemed to be agreed upon with everyone else there which wasn't more than five or so people. I actually agreed with that and forgave him, though I've made it a point to bring up the ingrown hair he had on his crotch once and the ensuing hypochondric STD fear he had for a long time after every chance I get.

Nobody else has said anything to me, and nobody has started ignoring me or anything. And to tell the truth, since this happened a couple of weeks ago I find myself not even thinking about it when I'm around these people. I can only presume they do the same. And if they do, I don't think I'm going to deny it. I'll do my best to take it light-heartedly and try to portray it as an endearing character quirk rather than let it be seen as one facet of a twisted, sexually deviant mind.

In retrospect, it was actually kind of a liberating feeling to know that I wasn't lynched once people found out. However, I still don't exactly want the world to know about it, and would rather people just know that I'm entirely open to trying new things.

But hey, what can you do?

[diapercj]

My best friend found out a while ago by accident because he opened a package that was for me. It got sent there because I hadn't changed the forwarding adress on my PO box, and though he never mentioned it, I couldn't ever feel comfortable around him again. I havnt talked to him in about a year now and I was friends with him for 17 years.

[poor_newborn_baby_2007]

Thats how I would have handled the situation, muscle my way around. There are a lot of people who are afraid of me cuz they heard something like I'm a gangster, I'm a terrorist, or I'm a psychopath. The third one may be a little true cuz apparently my beliefs aren't accepted by today's society. The first one was true before I tried turning my life around and the second one isn't true, that got out because I like guns and shooting them, not to mention me sitting in study hall reading Soldier of Fortune or Guns & Ammo.

[rickibrat2]

Thats how I would have handled the situation, muscle my way around. There are a lot of people who are afraid of me cuz they heard something like I'm a gangster, I'm a terrorist, or I'm a psychopath. The third one may be a little true cuz apparently my beliefs aren't accepted by today's society. The first one was true before I tried turning my life around and the second one isn't true, that got out because I like guns and shooting them, not to mention me sitting in study hall reading Soldier of Fortune or Guns & Ammo.

what does that have to do with any thing

use to read SOF all the time but then again i was a merc so i guess it was ok

and yes i was in diapers while workin mny palces around the woruld money was good got to try other diapers in many places most sucked back then other then clotrh and it was a pain in the bush

[jrjunior]

Yeah, so many of my secrets have been let out by careless friends. Usually it ends up working out better that way. That takes a lot of stress of me having others "come out" for me. No one really knows about my ABisms, or at least I don't think so, but at the same time I doubt any of my friends would be that suprised.

[beallucanb]

You know it had to happen some time, I sure people notice me and my diaper, but no one has said anything, but I have more kinks than one, that is the only one you can notice, unless you came to live with me, that is.

Maybe its better, it's out in the open, I'm sure they only know part of your particular kinks, keep them to yourself, there your kinks, the only problem is you never have anyone to share your kink with...it's lonely sometimes, keeping to yourself, but you get used to it....

[boy ricky]

I told one of my best friends (of 15 years) about my kink a long time ago, and recently while he was drinking with some friends the topic of people's kinks came up, and I wasn't there that night to shoot a 'don't say a damn thing' glance.

So, after this I was quite livid, and called my friend and yelled, swore, etc, and didn't talk to him for a few days. When I finally did, he told me that he also said that he found it weird that people were more accepting of masochism than ageplay, and that that view seemed to be agreed upon with everyone else there which wasn't more than five or so people. I actually agreed with that and forgave him, though I've made it a point to bring up the ingrown hair he had on his crotch once and the ensuing hypochondric STD fear he had for a long time after every chance I get.

Nobody else has said anything to me, and nobody has started ignoring me or anything. And to tell the truth, since this happened a couple of weeks ago I find myself not even thinking about it when I'm around these people. I can only presume they do the same. And if they do, I don't think I'm going to deny it. I'll do my best to take it light-heartedly and try to portray it as an endearing character quirk rather than let it be seen as one facet of a twisted, sexually deviant mind.

In retrospect, it was actually kind of a liberating feeling to know that I wasn't lynched once people found out. However, I still don't exactly want the world to know about it, and would rather people just know that I'm entirely open to trying new things.

But hey, what can you do?

I guess your friend did let the diaper out of the bag! I have talked alot about different fetishes but that is part of my job. I always bring up ageplay and i don't get a negative response from people. I have told a few people within our (Daddy and me) circle of friends. They have been pretty accepting but again these are people that have their own set of fetishes so likely they accept it more willingly.

I have also told four others about it and they are cool with it to the extent that they have not shunned me, im still on the coffee/dinner list!

I read above that you called your friend and gave him "what for" on the phone. He was wrong to do it without your consent, it is however one of those juicy gossip bits that remain hard to keep under your hat. That's the risk of telling others. Life is too crazy to live without some risk and i am glad your friend did not hang up on you and told you what he had said. At least now you and he can still be friends.

boy ricky

[dlstl]

Yeah, he denied it at first when he was on the phone but sent me a text apologizing.

Probably is less weird for other people hearing it from someone else than hearing it from me.

[wetvinyl]

My best friend found out a while ago by accident because he opened a package that was for me. It got sent there because I hadn't changed the forwarding adress on my PO box, and though he never mentioned it, I couldn't ever feel comfortable around him again. I havnt talked to him in about a year now and I was friends with him for 17 years.

Wow. I read your post and so many responses jumped into my head... basically, WTF.

First: NOT COOL that he opened your mail. No reason or excuse for him to have done that. If you weren't there to pick it up when it came, there's this invention called THE TELEPHONE that your friend could have used to contact you and say, "Hey-- you got a package here". Simple as that.

Second: He didn't do that-- he stepped over the line and needlessly opened your package up to see what it was. Well now it's "hey, friend of 17 years-- how'd THAT work out for you? Now you know something about me that you didn't need to know... and something I obviously didn't want you to know about. Yeah I've been buying this stuff for a long time, and nothing that I've done has ever changed our friendship-- but now, because of your impulsive actions, you've sure thrown a spanner into it, huh?"

Third: Ok so your friend discovered your secret. This is a friend of 17 years. Are you avoiding him (and throwing that 17 years away) because of what you're embarrassed he knows about you now? Or is it because you're pissed that he unreasonably violated your privacy and opened your mail? You could just say "fuck it-- both"... but really, they're two seperate issues.

Ok, not to tell you what to do, but if I was in your shoes: I'd seek him out and give him serious face-time on the opening-my-mail issue.

(1) NOBODY has the right to open my mail. It's a no-brainer. Not my roomate, my girlfriend, my parents, the cops-- anybody. (It's also a federal offense, but you get the point.)

(2) He's probably genuinely sorry and kind of embarrassed about what he found-- but at this point, he's just hearing that you're more pissed that he opened your mail.

(3) In fact, he's thinking that you couldn't give a rat's ass about what he found. This is called re-direction. I'm thinking he'll be relieved and be GLAD to apologize for opening your mail-- because, as your friend for 17 years, he does NOT want to deal with having offended you that *other* private way. It's awkward-- and he'll be grateful to you for not forcing him to get into it with you. Believe me-- your friend does NOT want to discuss it.

(4) Your non-concern with what he found will probably translate into a "whatever" attitude on your friend's part. You could care less about it; why should he?

(5) Meta-vibe to your friend: Yeah, I buy stuff you don't know about. I always have, but we've always been friends outside of that. But you opening my mail: Survey says 100% Not Fuckin Cool. I can live with what you found out-- hell, it makes my life easier, in a way-- but I hope you've learned a lesson here, pal-o-mine. Now let's try to put this on the back burner and go forward... hmmm?

No I'm not a relationships councilor (and I don't play one on TV)... but I notice you're a 22-year-old who's tossing aside a 17-year friendship. You might wanna think about this, a little. TRUE friendships are more forgiving (and occasionally rocky and frustrating... but always rarer) than you think.

Vinyl.

[diapercj]

Where I do agree with what you are saying, and that throwing away a long-time friendship such as that, I can't bring myself to be comfortable around him anymore (believe me, I tried) Its not that he ever said anything about it after he asked me about them and I told him I didnt want to talk about it, its not that he opened my mail, because that was just our relationship, whatever one of us had the other was welcome to. It's just that I dont feel right around him, I feel out of place and distressed. Im a loner anyways, all my friends are in the video game world (whichever MMORPG I happen to be playing)

Thank you for the advice and concern though,

CJ

[wetvinyl]

CJ-- Well, ok... Sorry to read that you're resigned to writing the friendship off. My advice, as it was, comes from the perspective of an pre-net/gamer old fart that learned 95% of his social skills in the RL-- tough, messy F2F intricisies. I've come to accept that online relationships are just as valid in their own way-- but still, there's nothing like a RL, F2F encounter over a few beers and a pizza-- and when it comes to somebody you've known since you were five... well, shit. That's a precious thing, dude. I still hope you can find a way to regroup with your RL friend... Life is all about change whether you ask for it or not.... so some continuity is always a good thing, man.

Vinyl.

[diaperwerx]

Wow. Comments on both the original and subsequent threads:

1st: Friendship - To have have a friend means being a friend (time knowing someone is irrelevant). This means if you find something out about a friend, you keep it secret unless they let you know it is acceptable, to not keep the secret (imminent bodily harm to others, friend is okay with information being shared, etc) . Being a friend does not mean it's ok to gossip just because you know something about the individual that everyone else doesn't!

2nd: In adult land - at least to my experience - diapers are no big deal. Seriously the people that know about it are ambivalent about it.

Lastly if the friend was a good friend and this is just a slip up then I say give them a second chance. However, I've let go of several long time friendships due their immaturities. It's a valuation game...how much do you value the friendship over the wrongdoings.

I'd rather have a few friends I can trust with my life than many I can trust with none.

-dw

[Repaid1]

Wow. Comments on both the original and subsequent threads:

1st: Friendship - To have have a friend means being a friend (time knowing someone is irrelevant). This means if you find something out about a friend, you keep it secret unless they let you know it is acceptable, to not keep the secret (imminent bodily harm to others, friend is okay with information being shared, etc) . Being a friend does not mean it's ok to gossip just because you know something about the individual that everyone else doesn't!

2nd: In adult land - at least to my experience - diapers are no big deal. Seriously the people that know about it are ambivalent about it.

Lastly if the friend was a good friend and this is just a slip up then I say give them a second chance. However, I've let go of several long time friendships due their immaturities. It's a valuation game...how much do you value the friendship over the wrongdoings.

I'd rather have a few friends I can trust with my life than many I can trust with none.

-dw

"I'd rather have a few friends I can trust with my life than many I can trust with none."

And that is pretty much that... I have ousted friends as well. Many over one girl who outted me and my AB ways to much of my town!, I get teased constantly from time to time in public, it's not easy, but diapers? they are easily explained. But as friends go none unfortunately as much as my childhood friends such was mentioned..just because I had none that long. I truly think such a "Friend" should seriously still be in you life. But the choice is yours and the quote above valid! Good luck to you and yours.

"

[pctrasher]

I've been outed once. It was from my most recent ex girlfriend over a year ago (I told her and the one I'm dating now, both were ok with it at the time and the one I'm with right now actually enjoys it too, it's awesome). But back to the topic of conversation, my ex knew about 3 months into the relationship since I told her via MSN messenger, and found it weird but acceptable. Then our relationship became a little too emotional and we broke up about 7 months later. Then about 5 months after that and having no contact with eachother, she asks me a technical question (I'm computer smart) very timidly via email and I answered back and said that just be cause she broke 5 months of silence doesn't mean that her pride should be shot to hell as she said. And from that she apparently didn't like it and posted that I wear diapers on everyone's myspace page on her friends list, which we had the same friends so I knew everyone she said that too. Well, I just jumped out of othe 'hot water' by telling everyone who asked about it that she is basically saying that I'm immature...etc, and it was believed, so other than my last g/f only my current G/F knows. And what's funny is that I only told those two about the diapers, nobody else. So moral of hte story is that if you're outed, then just make up an excuse for why they might be saying that. Or just to be safe, think of an excuse ahead of time incase you are ratted out. And yea, I plan on telling my closest friends in the future, but when I'm ready and it will probably happen with we're 25-30 years old and wasted. And I'm actually looking forward to it.

[Khoraz]

Where I do agree with what you are saying, and that throwing away a long-time friendship such as that, I can't bring myself to be comfortable around him anymore (believe me, I tried) Its not that he ever said anything about it after he asked me about them and I told him I didnt want to talk about it, its not that he opened my mail, because that was just our relationship, whatever one of us had the other was welcome to. It's just that I dont feel right around him, I feel out of place and distressed. Im a loner anyways, all my friends are in the video game world (whichever MMORPG I happen to be playing)

Thank you for the advice and concern though,

CJ

The life of MMo's!

I will agree with you that you can make some really awesome friends in online games. That probably where I met some really good friends and got to know friends I already had even more.

Oh world of warcraft, how I miss you...