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Anonymous12

How to meet someone

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Hi there,

   I posted a little bit ago but I wanted to post in this section because it seems more relevant. I have cerebral palsy and with the help of a therapist, I discovered that my diaper fetish is a way of “controlling” how “disabled’ I am. I have cerebral palsy and so it seems like my desire to be treated like a toddler is an attempt to boost my confidence regarding my disability.

    I am gay and am very new to actually trying diapers on and I kind of need a “Daddy” in order to physically manifest what I would like because of my dexterity. Although my situation is very specific, I was wondering if there were any other people in similar situations who had success in finding a caregiver? I do get anxious a lot and worried that even if I do meet someone I like, they won’t indulge in my fetish without ruining the relationship.

    Has anyone been worried about meeting someone who would participate and they did?

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I'd play down the fetish aspect, just say you need to wear for medical reasons, which is true anyway for psych reasons, if wearing makes you feel more at ease with yourself that's a valid reason in itself, this applies to me, it makes me feel secure about wetting myself in public,,,

 

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Everyone's experiences will be very different but I will say it's definitely possible to find a partner who will not just participate but who will genuinely love being involved.

I never went looking for a partner into ABDL but I've now been married for 13 and a half years with a wife who happily participates and dating my Daddy for the past two years who keeps me in diapers four days a week but who would prefer to keep me in them 24/7 if he had his way.

The best advice I can offer is don't go out looking for a caregiver. Meet people, get to know them as people first, see if you're compatible then introduce ABDL activities.

Honestly, I think a lot if people look for a caregiver versus looking for someone they can love and who can love them first. Having a strong relationship foundation has led me to my current situation and let me date men and women with diaper play involved before I met my wonderful Wife and my Daddy/Husband to be.

Little kaiya 

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Hi all,

 

  thank you for the responses. I guess when I look at other relationship dynamics, a lot of arguments stem from one party giving more than the other so I guess what I’m afraid of is overburdening my partner with my needs. It definitely helps hearing other success stories so hopefully I can bring that into my life.

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That's the thing with relationships though, when you find the right person you spend your time being together versus evaluating who is giving how much and comparing. During relationships partners will give more or less depending on what's going on, there's almost never a 50/50 balance.

Personally, I make significantly more money than my Wife or my Daddy/Boyfriend, but it isn't an issue because they each contribute other things to the relationship. 

I'm genderfluid (feminine male/female), pansexual, polyamorous an adult baby, a diaper lover and also a furry. For some people that could be seen as a burden or an issue but to my Wife and Daddy those are just things that are part of who I am and they love me for who I am, just as I love them for who they are.

Best advice I can offer is just be genuinely true to yourself and honest. When you find the right person or persons they wont see your needs as a burden, they'll just see them as part of who you are as a person.

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My advice is always this...

The more you build something up, the more of a "big deal" you make something to another person, the more significant the reaction will be.

To explain what the heck that means, think about the difference between sitting down your roommate or partner, dramatic music, and telling them "I have something I've been holding onto for a long time, a big secret, that I just have to tell you, it's been tearing me apart etc etc", you're going to make that other person uncomfortable no matter how close you are. That approach shows doubt in yourself (which you may have and which may be quite valid) and a lack of confidence, leads the other party to wonder if it's something they should even really know, if it's a secret better kept secret, or something that will be a burden (hate that word) or adversely effect their interactions with you.

Basically, be open and honest from the start, but over-reveal, don't make whatever issue seem like it's a negative, go in with confidence about who you are and what's important to you. Sharing as opposed to telling or "coming clean".

Snugglebear is on point.

 

 

 

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I definitely agree that being open and honest from the very beginning is the best way to forge a lasting relationship. I met my "Daddy"/ boyfriend about 2 months into 2019 and all it took was a phone call. When you finally meet the right person you'll just know.

I spent close to 15 years online searching but not realizing he was right there waiting for me. The moment I stopped trying the universe gave me my heart's desire. Sorry if that sounds corny but that's how things happened. All the seemingly awkward stuff was brought out into the open so that the trust we have in each other is super strong.

I cook and I clean for my Daddy, in return I get to be his baby girl and enjoy a more adventurous life full of diaper changes, bath times, cuddles and lullabies. When both parties work towards each other's happiness it's truly a beautiful thing. 

P.s. I totally think the above posters said everything already and gave really sound advice.. I honestly just wanted to share my experience in finding a Daddy.

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