Offended Or Agree?

[diaperwearntigger]

So today in the chatroom someone, who is obviously a member of the community and most likely a DL since they made a comment about us Abs, decided that they were going to say some things about us ABs. This person, who I will remain nameless, wanted to know why ABs need to act like they have special needs and developmental disabilities. I myself, being an AB, find this rather rude and offensive, and I personally do not think that I have special needs etc. or even act this way during roleplaying.....

So I guess what I want to know is what are your thoughts on this? Do you find this to be offensive as an AB or do you agree with what was said?

[enfant]

For my part: Neither. I don't agree, but it doesn't particularly offend me. AB's like to act like babies, and some people with developmental delays act like babies, so there's some natural resemblence. So why be offended? Whatever.

But the motivation isn't to act like we're developmentally delayed; it's to act like babies. You could just as reasonably ask why developmentally delayed people act like AB's, but that would be silly.

(Also kind of silly: Any diaper lover implying that adult babies are weird. Yeah, yeah--I'm such a very black kettle...)

[Diapers4Me]

I agree with the first reply. What a silly thing to say!

[babytugsbear]

I don't really appreciate that

I believe we can act however we want as long as it doesn't interfere

[Khoraz]

This type of "stuff" happens everyday, in every shape and form. I see people wearing clothing that is way to short, way too long, or just plain not to my taste. This does not for any reason give me the right to tell them to stop or remove what they are wearing because I don't agree with it. It's just not my place, people should be able to express who they are not what society tells them they should be.

Unless they are physically doing something wrong my opinion is that you just let them be who they desire to be.

Here's a back to 4th grade moment:

"If every single person on this planet was the same in every way shape and form, would you really want to be here?"

Let's avoid creating gaps in a community and instead star filling them in.

~Khoraz

[DiaperBigBoy]

The Interent breeds ignorance, Look at Wikapedia

[Diapers4Me]

Why do you say Wikipedia is an example of internet ignorance? If there is something on wikipedia that is wrong, you are encouraged to correct it....a perfect example an open source system that allows the the correction of ignorance. It will, on occasion be modified by idiots, but their trash will get corrected eventually. The infantilism page is a good example---its quite accurate in my opinion (or was)

[dpr13ca]

I will say that the sissy part of ab or the baby talk part for me is hard to understand,but for those people it is a part of them.People may not like or understand the things I enjoy.We all need to be non judgmental and live with the fact we are all different and unique individuals.Have a happy life or baby hood or regresion and enjoy what matters, we can't start picking apart our own community because of differences,that is why we are here-because we are different.

[:dlb]

I prefer to act like a baby. But since I am disabled in real life i feel confilcted sometimes on how to act. Such as everyones wearing a diaper and wetting em, etc. But since I'm not wearing a diaper I find it hard to play that part. But I dont play the part of disabled, i deal with that in rl and it's nothing that I enjoy.

But 1 thing is for sure I despise being accused of lying about it.

[Baby Mommy]

As opposed to a DL, I am an AB who is also incontinent. However, I can see why one would assume that my diapers and accidents would be part of the AB thing. It just so happens that they're not connected.

As an AB, I most enjoy acting and being treated like a toddler/preschooler. I myself don't understand how people would get a thrill from wetting, or even more puzzling, messing, outside the realm of being a "child." My own thrills come from such baby activity as sucking my thumb, using baby talk, bawling out loud, wearing infantile clothes and hair styles, etc. The only behavior that seems to overlap is my preference to keep myself shaved. I enjoy the juvenile look of being hairless, but then it's also for practical reasons since hair traps odor. Shaving helps me keep myself cleaner.

No, I'm not role-playing someone with a developmental disability. A relative of mine falls into that category, mentally retarded. She still wets the bed, and she has a speech impediment. These are failures of her body, not her mind. She doesn't suck her thumb, play with toys, use infantile words for things (ie she says "horse," not "horsey") or behave in any way like a child except as limited by organic factors. So no, as an AB I am not emulating her but attempting to play the role of a small child.

I'm probably trying to capture a childhood I didn't get the first time around. That would be my theory as to why the AB activity appeals to me. Strict DL's don't understand why I'd want to be a child, just as I don't understand why they'd want to wear and wet/mess diapers. But there's no use in us sniping at each other for it. Pot calling the kettle black.... just as sometimes recovering alcoholics and recovering drug addicts snipe at each other. They don't seem to realize it's the same animal, just a different breed.

[SS84onwards]

I was on the chat room when the person said that and I found it quite offensive. Just because it's a pretty much harmless desire doesn't mean it's because the person is mentally screwed, the person clearly wasn't thinking before speaking.

[Baby Mommy]

Well, you're probably right. I wasn't there and didn't get it first hand.

[DL Dave]

This type of "stuff" happens everyday, in every shape and form. I see people wearing clothing that is way to short, way too long, or just plain not to my taste. This does not for any reason give me the right to tell them to stop or remove what they are wearing because I don't agree with it. It's just not my place, people should be able to express who they are not what society tells them they should be.

Unless they are physically doing something wrong my opinion is that you just let them be who they desire to be.

Here's a back to 4th grade moment:

"If every single person on this planet was the same in every way shape and form, would you really want to be here?"

Let's avoid creating gaps in a community and instead star filling them in.

~Khoraz

I think we need structure as a society. I don't think it's OK to just do what ever we like. If somthing I'm doing is offensive to others, like walking down town in my underwear, then I understand why people would want that stoped. However if I"m running around my appartment, in my underware, then that's no ones buisness but mine. You could easily subsitue diaper for underwear in that example. If a grown man or woman were to aproach me in a store acting like they were two, that would make me uncomftorable. Unless ofcourse they actualy had mental challange. If those same pleople want to behave that way at home, or with friends and family and that works for all involved, then that's great. There are certian courtsies and customs we expect from eachother in general, and I don't think that's a bad thing. There are still lot's of ways we can be differnt, especialy since most of us are privilaged to live in free countries.

[DL Dave]

One of those courtisies, by the way, is not intentionaly using hurtful language. This site is one of those private places where you if your acting (or wanting to act like) your two, that's just part of the game. If I don't like that, or want to deal with it, then I should just leave, and respect those who do like it. I mean it's not like I'm forced to be here or anything.

[Baby D]

Of course there are some AB's that claim to have special needs, etc. but I hate it when someone assumes that all are like just that one. It's like that in so many other things as well, but it's definitely not right. I hate assumptions, it's the start of a disaster...

[InNappies]

I am of the opinion that it is entirely up to the individual to act/dress/etc as they feel comfortable doing and as long as it doesn't affect someone else in their activities of daily life then fair play to them! (By affect I mean cause them discomfort or change in their routine). I think the comment about developmental disabilities is out of line as being an AB is about behaving as a baby and that comment would imply that if being an AB is acting like someone with developmental disabilities, then a baby has developmental disabilities which is actually quite offensive to a parent. Anyway, I am beginning to lose myself in my innane ramblings! In short, I don't agree with the offending comment!

[leafy kille]

i class myself as a DL (altho i do have some ab tendancies) and technicaly i do fall under the catogory of having a mental disability, if i realy felt like it i could register sa disabled with the goverment and claim thousands of pounds, BUT i dont want to do this and as such i work about 8 hours a day 7 days a week simply to pay the bills as i find it realy hard to find a job that will employ me for more than minimum wage... despite the fact that i am a fully qualified aromatherapist and masseur... i hate the fact that i am disabled and do my best to avoid using this EVER. however much as i do not like my disabilities i have thaught that my life would be much nicer if i had been dissabled physicaly rather than mentaly, but when i ply these thaughts with the cold hard light of rational thaught and logic then i realise that the physical disabilities (includeing the nuch glorified and over rated incontinance) would be equaly inconvinient.

in short i am not offended by this (tho i would rather people think before they speak) but i will play a physicaly retarded 4-7 year old from time to time, tho i normaly will play a dad/mom who wears nappies. so i gues that this statment does aply to some of us but by no means all and as the saying goes "assumption is the mother of all f**k ups!"

[Guest]

I think we need structure as a society. I don't think it's OK to just do what ever we like. If somthing I'm doing is offensive to others, like walking down town in my underwear, then I understand why people would want that stoped. However if I"m running around my appartment, in my underware, then that's no ones buisness but mine. You could easily subsitue diaper for underwear in that example. If a grown man or woman were to aproach me in a store acting like they were two, that would make me uncomftorable. Unless ofcourse they actualy had mental challange. If those same pleople want to behave that way at home, or with friends and family and that works for all involved, then that's great. There are certian courtsies and customs we expect from eachother in general, and I don't think that's a bad thing. There are still lot's of ways we can be differnt, especialy since most of us are privilaged to live in free countries.

If somebody approached me in a store like that, it wouldn't bother me.

I'm usually seen with my pacifier. I've stopped caring what people think.

Is there a problem with me using my pacifier while I grocery shop cause I'm having a bad day? I don't think so.

[PrincessDragonette]

You see, DL Dave, that doing whatever we want is the point of having a free society. If we do something that physically hurts someone else then we have crossed the line and encroached upon their freedom. If we move the line back to just being offended, then it would be difficult to have any real freedom, as there are many people that are offended much too easily.

Tigger, I can understand you being offended at that statement. I wasn't there when it was made, but I have been present for similiar statements. Most seem to have been made by people who did not think the thought through before submitting it to public scrutiny. As you and the other Abs have the right to babyish activities, that individual has the right to his opinion on babyish activities. You have the right to be offended by that statement, and can from now on, freely regard this individual with pity for being a narrow-minded fool. I wouldn't worry about it too much, since he/she CHOSE to come into an ab/dl chatroom, he/she can just as freely choose to leave. Play away, and enjoy life, something apparently this individual is incapable of.

[Baby Mommy]

Just a couple of quick comments:

If an adult approached me in public, acting like a two-year-old, I would assume that person *did* have special needs. As an AB, I play the part of a pre-schooler, but I wouldn't adopt that persona in a public place around strangers. I leave it for safe environments. Anyone who doesn't maintain such a boundary probably does have some kind of special need, either intellectual or psychiatric. I'm talking about full-on two-year-old behavior, though. Not just a pacifier, which by itself I wouldn't classify as bizarre. Out of the norm, maybe, but not harmful or offensive. Have you ever seen the pacifier-shaped hard candy (such as "ring pops") that many older children and adolescents seem to like? I'm sure it's the same idea, just done more subtly. I've seen a lot of adults who still openly suck their thumbs. I am a thumbsucker myself--just too chicken to do it around people.

What wellpadded said can be summed up in this proverb I've heard: "Your right to swing your arms ends where my nose begins." And it's true, if we all eliminated every behavior that might offend someone somewhere on the face of the planet, we'd all be confined to sitting still... and then somebody would probably complain that we're sitting in the wrong posture.

[nitrous]

Who ever this DL is has no clue what is a person with special needs. Cwite frankly him puting people with special needs and ab's in the same catagory is not only totaly in acurate but totaly offensive to me, not because I'm an ab but because I have friends who may be considered "people with special needs". Its like the DL is saying people who have any mental or physical disability is completely impadent and helpless by compareing them to a role playing role of being helpless such as a baby. Some people may be physicly and or mentally handy capt but that does not mean that they're incapable of growth as a person or can take care of themselves. I have to say this to the DL "dude f*** you!, dush bag".

oh and Tiger plz show him or her this post.

[tagalong06]

Personally I think that the roleplay in the chat is sometimes distracting from the conversation at hand. It doesn't bother me though unless it totally derails the convo which hasn't happened yet. If you want to have a roleplay in the chat and fell it may be distracting just keep it between you and the person you are RPing with in Pm so you can contriubite to the main convo still or even take it to another room. I also fell that it for a DL who isn't into that stuff it maybe vary angering to have people actting silly in the chat, howerver, we are in this community together and should not worry about that and just embrace that it is going to happen and get over it and start bring the community together insted of ripping us apart and I think that it was tottally uncalled for to lash out against the AB's in the community.

[WallaWalla]

(Also kind of silly: Any diaper lover implying that adult babies are weird. Yeah, yeah--I'm such a very black kettle...)

Much like the numerous AB/DL types who love to harass people for being transgendered. It's a community of hypocrisy and finger pointing to be sure.

I'm sort of an AB, but I don't really get what compels people to go into babytalk and roleplay in the main chat. Then again I never really 'got' the babytalk thing at all....

I think people should generally be left to do whatever they want though, so power to them if it's what they enjoy I guess.

[WallaWalla]

Why do you say Wikipedia is an example of internet ignorance? If there is something on wikipedia that is wrong, you are encouraged to correct it....a perfect example an open source system that allows the the correction of ignorance. It will, on occasion be modified by idiots, but their trash will get corrected eventually. The infantilism page is a good example---its quite accurate in my opinion (or was)

It's the new fad to hate wikipedia by the way, despite the fact that it's actually a good source for a general primer. People just don't seem to realize that they need to go look up their own sources outside of wikipedia as a follow-up.

[baby amanda]

im completley offended at that statement............ tsk tsk....