Be Careful What You Wish For

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

I have shared on this message board my journey to becoming diaper dependant.  Through this journey I have been completely honest here, sharing all the good, bad, and indifferent.  My wife was essentially forced to take this journey with me and although she accepts and understands that I need to be diapered, our relationship will never be the same most specifically in the bedroom.

 

This is a tale of be careful what you wish for and is something I think anyone who is with a partner needs to understand before deciding if wearing diapers for the rest of your life is something you truthfully want for both you and your partner.

 

When I first put a diaper on permanently two years ago my wife and I were at a crossroads in our relationship sexually.  Years of wearing diapers more and more, premature ejaculating, and erectile dysfunction had left my wife completely and utterly sexually frustrated.  This failure in the bedroom led to a lifestyle change as I started to become a fulltime sissy due to my inability to perform as a man.  Diapers became almost the sole source of sexual relief for me as the wet padding between my legs did not care how hard I was or how fast I made my mess.  My wife also relied on inanimate objects for sexual relief as I would watch a large piece of silicone touch her in places that was simply impossible for me to reach.

 

I have shared this all here, including the day I became my wife's cuckold.  That period of our life was so full of excitement and happiness for both of us.  She was sexually fulfilled and I made her my everything.  As I look back now I realize I became so devoted to her because I knew she now had a real man in her life and realized that one day she may get tired of all of her husband's dirty diapers.  This period also allowed for my wife to take on more of the Mommy role.  She babied me and cahnged my diapers frequently.  The stale pee pee smell of my diapers was no longer a reminder of her sexual depravity and she knew she was one phone call away from being taken by a real man.  It was great and we were both very happy.  This unique dynamic we shared actually strengthened our marriage and eventually my wife decided that she loved me so much that cuckolding me was something she no longer was comfortable doing.

 

Her lover is now gone and she is back to a sissy who has been in diapers permanently for two years.  Knowing that I will not be able to remove my diapers probably for the rest of my life as now I am both physically and mentally dependant on them she basically has became asexual.  She no longer has any sexual desire which in the past is what fueled our ABDL relationship.  There is no breastfeeding.  There is no teasing.  There is most definitely no sexual intercourse.  About the only way she participates with my sissy side is by changing my used diapers.  This is what I caused by choosing diapers over her.  This is something I must now live with.

 

I recently asked her why we can not just have normal sexual intercourse now and she basically told me see does not want me peeing on her.  She reminded me that the last time I was permitted to have intercourse with her months ago that her lady parts....even the inside of her smelled of pee pee for days afterwards.  Now that I leak uncontrollably she belives I will leak inside of her.  Oral sex definitely will never happen again as she is not into consuming my waste.  So this is us now.  Other than the bedroom we are completely fine, soulmates, raising our children an living life.  

 

I share this as a cautionary tale for those that want to become diaper dependant who are with a partner.  Unless you have a partner who is sexually aroused by you being a little life in the bedroom will change dramatically.  Think about this and discuss this reality with your partner before you decide diapers all the time are best for you.

[Diapered Dave]

DO you ever wear a strap-on over your diapers and satisfy her that way?

Granted, it's not the real thing, but I would think it could it relieve her sexual frustrations, and it might play into to your "sissy frame of mind" that this is now the only way you can preform.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

3 hours ago, Diapered Dave said:

DO you ever wear a strap-on over your diapers and satisfy her that way?

Granted, it's not the real thing, but I would think it could it relieve her sexual frustrations, and it might play into to your "sissy frame of mind" that this is now the only way you can preform.

Many, many, times.  She has never been overly fond of making love that way although there have been times she has loved it.  Right now she simply wants absolutely nothing to do sexually period.  

[Ferix]

This is good advice as diapers could impact your relationship with those that know about your diapers.

 

I have a friend who's wife does not accept his diapers. He was into them before they married, he told her about them so she knew about them but didn't want anything to do with them. Since he didn't wear often and only in private, the relationship worked, they got married and had 3 kids.

 

Like many of us, he could not deny his urge to wear and use diapers. For years, he snuck in diapers and wore them in private. He was able to wear at work too as he drove around a lot. Occasionally he'd swing by my place for diaper hangouts, a change, and buy a couple diapers off of me.

 

His wife has never liked diapers and they have caused a lot of tension between them. One time, she found his stash and threw them all away. She even took him to counseling, a highly religious catholic counselor, and when he suggested that diapers were okay and he should wear she argued with the counselor. Ultimately they never went back.

 

He's told me about statements she's made, like "I'd rather you be an alcoholic than wear diapers." Even though things got ugly, time has helped ease tensions.

 

My friend was persistent with diapers, he would bring them up to his wife when he had the courage to talk to her about it. Only until this last year did he get her to agree to allow him to wear diapers and to keep a stash around the house. She still does not want anything to do with them.

 

For him and his wife, diapers are definitely a sex barrier. It's like if she sees or associates her husband in diapers, it totally turns her off. She simply can't help the way she feels.

 

I feel for them as I'm sure neither of them wanted this in a relationship. I get the sense that my friend feels trapped; What makes them stay together is they are great parents for their kids. Without the kids, I get the sense that they would not be together.

 

Recently, she has pressured the family to move to California from Washington, a move which my friend did not want. He was definitely not happy about leaving his diaper friends. Since he's moved down it sounds like he's made some new diaper friends, but it's been harder to wear and has been wearing less.

 

My advice to add is: test the limits Of your relationship and test it early. Be your truest self to you and your partner with diapers. Wear and use diapers around your partner, like you would when by youself. Do this early on in the relationship: resentment grows and a small diaper problem in the beginning could be a big diaper problem years down the road.

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

29 minutes ago, Ferix said:

This is good advice as diapers could impact your relationship with those that know about your diapers.

 

I have a friend who's wife does not accept his diapers. He was into them before they married, he told her about them so she knew about them but didn't want anything to do with them. Since he didn't wear often and only in private, the relationship worked, they got married and had 3 kids.

 

Like many of us, he could not deny his urge to wear and use diapers. For years, he snuck in diapers and wore them in private. He was able to wear at work too as he drove around a lot. Occasionally he'd swing by my place for diaper hangouts, a change, and buy a couple diapers off of me.

 

His wife has never liked diapers and they have caused a lot of tension between them. One time, she found his stash and threw them all away. She even took him to counseling, a highly religious catholic counselor, and when he suggested that diapers were okay and he should wear she argued with the counselor. Ultimately they never went back.

 

He's told me about statements she's made, like "I'd rather you be an alcoholic than wear diapers." Even though things got ugly, time has helped ease tensions.

 

My friend was persistent with diapers, he would bring them up to his wife when he had the courage to talk to her about it. Only until this last year did he get her to agree to allow him to wear diapers and to keep a stash around the house. She still does not want anything to do with them.

 

For him and his wife, diapers are definitely a sex barrier. It's like if she sees or associates her husband in diapers, it totally turns her off. She simply can't help the way she feels.

 

I feel for them as I'm sure neither of them wanted this in a relationship. I get the sense that my friend feels trapped; What makes them stay together is they are great parents for their kids. Without the kids, I get the sense that they would not be together.

 

Recently, she has pressured the family to move to California from Washington, a move which my friend did not want. He was definitely not happy about leaving his diaper friends. Since he's moved down it sounds like he's made some new diaper friends, but it's been harder to wear and has been wearing less.

 

My advice to add is: test the limits Of your relationship and test it early. Be your truest self to you and your partner with diapers. Wear and use diapers around your partner, like you would when by youself. Do this early on in the relationship: resentment grows and a small diaper problem in the beginning could be a big diaper problem years down the road.

Very sound advice.  Unfortunately often times feelings change for both the diaper wearer and their partner.  My wife actually had major issues accepting my diapers early on in our relationship.  I have always been open and honest with her about diapers.  When we first meet it was a once in awhile thing and years later my need to be in diapers evolved into wearing them permanently.  If I had chosen this when my wife and I first met she would have undoubtedly left me.  

I do not want anyone to be confused by my post.  My wife and I are happily married and I believe whole heartedly we will stay that way.  We have been there and done all of it.  I just wanted people to know that chosing to wear diapers permanently can have consequences especially in the bedroom.

[oznl]

@MarkSmith is right.  It's not what it looks like through hormone-fueled internet posts.  It's not much of a marriage tonic.  It hasn't done much for our sex life.  At best, we have survived.

Went into my marriage more than 30 years ago with her fully aware of my DL thing and actively participating.  Back then I thought it was a fetish.

Kids came along and slowly, although she never said “no”, somehow the nappy thing got pushed into a smaller and smaller corner of my life.

Eventually, I realised that I was down to a single, grimly-tolerated “nappy night” per week alone, that she herself, would have nothing to do with.  It was every Thursday.  Like government-provided methadone to an addict, it was never enough.

The less I was in nappies, the more I obsessed about being in them.  There were other things going on in my life. I was in my 50s.  My life wasn’t mine to live. I was killing myself providing for others.  It was NEVER going to be mine to live.  I’m not sure what depression is but I strongly suspect I had it. 

One Thursday, she was going the next day, straight from work to a concert with friends.  She would be home late on Friday.

I stayed in nappies Friday morning.  Stayed in nappies the whole day.  I was happier.  Did my work, cooked the dinner, fed the kids, she saw the show.

Eventually, I changed into a dry nappy and went to bed.  I knew there would be trouble but I didn't care anymore.

Around midnight, she got home, got into bed, and felt my nappy.

She was furious.

I wasn't mad.  I was enlightened.  The madder she got, the colder I got.  It was like staring into the matrix and seeing the numbers instead of the scenery.  I understood why she was doing this and it meant nothing to me.

I’ll write a prequel one day, properly.

Here’s the rest of it.

 

 

[DiaperedAllTheTime]

I really thought cuckolding for us was the answer.  It honestly takes a very secure, honest, and strong relationship for a marriage to thrive with another man in the picture.  Physically it was most definitely what my wife needed but mentally it was just something that went against her morals and love for me.  The sexual excitement during that time was amazing however and I miss that so much.

Truthfully I know I am married to a great woman.  She has a hall pass to do whatever she likes whenever she wants but chooses to not only stay faithful but sexually miserable.  I really think she has become completely asexual now because she is completely not sexually attracted to an incontinent sissy anymore and represses her sexual desires because she knows it is impossible for me to fulfill them.  

This has been a fight for me internally.  The answer seems so simple...just stop wearing diapers and maybe she will sexually come back.  Unfortunately I feel I have passed the threshold of wearing diapers permanently for so long where that can occur.  Mentally I believe I would be completely miserable and it would actually make our relationship worse.  I was much more distant from her then and not as honest.  I got want I wanted and now I have to live with that. 

Clearly I am very thankful that my wife loves me so very much to stay by my side through all this despite her husband putting his needs over hers.  Someone here said she is a Saint and I think that about sums it up.

[diapereddaddy1922]

Ive been married now for three years and we have a two year old who is in the process of potty training. I have incontinences partly from a back injury and mostly from training. I will be in diapers for the rest of my life. I do not vet into the abdl stuff i just like diapers and sometimes my wife does too. 

I dont always smell like pee i change regularly. You dont pee during intercourse because when you are erect your prostate is enlarged and kinks off your urethra. 

[oznl]

4 hours ago, diapereddaddy1922 said:

Ive been married now for three years and we have a two year old who is in the process of potty training. I have incontinences partly from a back injury and mostly from training. I will be in diapers for the rest of my life. I do not vet into the abdl stuff i just like diapers and sometimes my wife does too. 

I dont always smell like pee i change regularly. You dont pee during intercourse because when you are erect your prostate is enlarged and kinks off your urethra. 

I get that but perception eats reality for breakfast with these kind of scenarios.